The Wife (23 page)

“You’re coming,” is all I say as I drive down the quiet road, trying to think of anything but Mike and Jamie.

I’
m pretty sure Lee stopped running a mile back, but I won’t turn around to check; if I do, Jamie may actually think I’m going to pay attention to him. When he picked me up, I immediately put my earbuds in and walked past him and Lee outside and started to run. I didn’t want to admit that the second my body started to move and I felt the cool sea breeze, I began to come out of my funk. One of the reasons I think Jamie and I always got along so well was because he never pressed me when I was in one of my moods. Although I’m sure the mood he’s seen me in today is one for the record books. I’m just so caught up in the death of my marriage that I feel paralyzed today.

We make a turn to head on the last leg of our run along the peaceful private beach when a message pops on my phone from Jamie. I wonder why the heck he’s texting me when I am right in front of him. I slow my pace slightly when I open the message and see what’s written.

I see there’s some sort of an attachment, and there was a song there and a message that merely says “Listen.”

The text makes me remember the way we used to share songs with each other. It’s one of my favorite memories of our time together, so I decide to do as he asks.

I pick up my pace again when a soft, lullaby-type song begins to play. Another message chimes through.

Jamie: For you

As the words play, I recognize the song. It’s “You Could Be Happy” by Snow Patrol. I turn it up, to listen to the words like I know he expects because it’s been such a long time since I’ve heard it, only to realize how sad it actually is. My feet move quickly under me, trying to get my space from Jamie. This song is too personal and it only makes me confused. Up until now, Jamie has never made me think that he was anything but sorry for hurting me. We both have clearly moved on from each other and realized that although it was tough, our lives turned out how they were supposed to.

I can’t tell if I’m mad, sad, or pissed, but I know I can’t be with Jamie now. I’m sure he knows something’s up with me and Mike, and I’ve kept it from him only because I didn’t want it to effect his work on the restaurants or to look like a failure to him. But now, after hearing this song, I wonder what he’s trying to say. I think back to our nights sharing songs and decide to send one back that will make it clear to him that I’ve interpreted the song as nothing more than a song of well wishes.

I have to slow my pace again, but I don’t care. I type the perfect song into my phone and press Send once I have the attachment linked on the text. It’s a new song that I don’t know well, but think it’s about not being able to really believe the words a loved one is saying. I let it play and listen to it too, as we turn down the street. As “Believe” by Mumford and Sons begins to play, I feel victorious for pulling the perfect song to tell him I don’t know whether he really is as sorry as he says about how he treated me. The more time I spend with him, the more I’m beginning to wonder whether finding me and apologizing was more for him than me. As the song continues to the next verse, I realize that I should have listened to the song more carefully than I had in the past, because it begins to talk about wanting to be back together.

“Shit, shit, shit.” I fumble with my phone, rushing to send a text.

Me: First verse only. Ugh, didn’t listen long enough before I sent it.

It seems like a lifetime for a response.

Jamie: Crushing! LOL

Me: Yeah, something like Sabotage would have been a better choice. LOL

Oh God, this is going about as bad as it can. What the hell am I saying?

When we reach my dad’s driveway, I wish I could just sprint into the house without another word, but that’s impossible. Jamie anticipates my runaway tendencies and hops in front of me in a defensive stance to block me from my hasty exit.

I flip out my earbuds and cross my arms across my chest, looking back behind us for any sign of Lee and trying my best to keep the conversation off my song message. “Do you think we should send a search committee for Lee?” I ask jokingly.

Just then, Lee opens the screen door, holding two large cups of water. “No need. I quit long ago.” She walks down the porch and hands us each a cup of water. “You, my dear, need to get your sweaty butt inside and showered off. We are leaving in an hour.”

“An hour!” I exclaim. That’s not even close to the amount of time I’d like to have to prepare for Jess’s event. My embarrassment from moments before is quickly replaced with annoyance. “Why are we getting there so early?”

“Um, you’ve been gone two hours. I’m sure people are already arriving.” Lee starts to push me inside and turns back to Jamie. “See you guys in a bit. I’ll be the incredibly sexy woman in red.”

Jamie laughs and waves at what Lee says, but his eyes remain steadily on me. “See you soon.”

My doorbell rings just when I apply my last coat of eyeliner, and I call down for my dad to answer it. I take one last look in the mirror at the black strapless dress I had luckily packed in hopes of using it on a date in the city with Mike while we were here. Although it won’t be as formal as many of the dresses worn tonight, the simple sweetheart neckline and fitted bodice accented with bright green heels will suit me perfect on this humid summer night.

“It’s for you.” Lee looks as if something is wrong.

I walk past her and give her a glare, thinking she’s invited Jamie and Frank here when she knows I’ve had enough of him today. My dad would not take kindly to Jamie being here either, and I know that even more now that Jamie told me my dad turned him away when he tried to find me several years ago. My dad saw me change after Jamie left me, and was always protective of me and my heart.

When I turn the corner of the stairs, I see my dad, arms crossed defensively, in front of a man holding an envelope. I could almost see the steam coming from my dad, making me wonder who this person could possibly be.

“Mrs. Brock? Mrs. Alexa Brock?” the man asks formally.

“That’s me,” I say in a perky voice and walk over to the two of them to put a calming hand on my dad’s shoulder.

“Please sign here.” He holds out a form.

“What is this?” I put my name next to the
X
on the sheet he’s holding out.

“Have a nice night,” he simply replies, handing me the envelope and walking away.

I shut the door and turn to my dad and Lee, who look as if I’m holding a bomb. “I love getting mail,” I say, trying to lighten the mood as I tear into the envelope. It takes seconds to realize what they both somehow knew.

How could I have been so naïve to think it was just an ordinary letter? I threw the envelope across the room as if it were on fire. “How was he able to do this so quickly? We decided to separate, not divorce!”

I can’t cry. I’m too pissed to cry.

“That bastard! I’m going to cut his balls off!” Lee runs to my side. “We don’t have to go tonight. We can just stay home.”

My dad’s standing by the door, looking as if he’s about to bolt and go hunt Mike down. I walk over to him and give him a hug and fall into his arms when he pulls me in tight. “You be strong,” my dad says, using his mantra in life.

I think of my dad and what he’s been through rather than what’s just happened. “You go on ahead. Tell the others I got sick, and tell Jess I’ll stop by tomorrow.”

“Anything you need, Alexa. Anything.” She hugs me tightly.

“Just don’t get drunk and start spilling everything. Especially to Jamie.” I take off my heels and head back upstairs to change.

“Never,” Lee says and I for once believe her.

It takes less than an hour before I hear another ring at my doorbell and look out the window to see Lee, Jess, and Cam dressed in their gorgeous gowns, standing on my doorstep. “Mother of Hell, that girl is going to lose her best friend badge after this trip,” I say to myself, cursing her the entire way down the stairs.

My dad’s already let them in and is thanking them for coming. He looks at me apologetically. “I’m sorry, honey, but when you came back from Wawa with two gallons of ice cream and a bag of chips, I knew you needed to get out of here. You need women, not me.”

I smile and kiss his cheek, realizing I had Dorito dust on my lips, and laugh. “I love you, Dad.”

Before I can say more, Jess interrupts. “Listen, you get your butt upstairs and dressed because you’re coming to my party. I don’t care if you stay an hour or all night, but I’m not letting you hide away in here. You. Need. Fun.” She looks over at Lee. “Well, fun and lots and lots of drinks, too. But they go hand in hand, right?” She laughs and pushes me up the stairs.