The People Factor: How Building Great Relationships and Ending Bad Ones Unlocks Your God-Given Purpose (17 page)

My wife and I have a friend in the Goodlettsville area. She told me about the overwhelming excitement and pride the community felt and the way they banded together to support their hometown players. After the series, when the team arrived home by bus at Goodlettsville City Hall in the sweltering heat of an August afternoon, more than a thousand people erupted in cheers and waved homemade banners congratulating their young heroes.

One thing that caught our friend’s attention was the fact that the mayor of Goodlettsville had several opportunities to speak to the team and the crowds who gathered to celebrate them. Every time, he applauded and congratulated the boys, but he never failed to also mention their parents, who sacrificed tremendously for their sons’ amazing victory.

The mayor knew something the boys might not have realized in the midst of their appearances on ESPN and ABC, their phone call from the president of the United States, and their congressional resolution. He knew they could never have won a single
game without dedicated parents and guardians who took them to practice, encouraged them, fed them, cared for them, and washed their uniforms. Perhaps some of these parents gave up a family vacation or rest and relaxation during the summertime to make the trip to Williamsport instead. Some parents gave brief television interviews, but they never spoke of how hard
they
worked to get their sons into the national spotlight. They just talked about the team and displayed appropriate parental pride and joy in their young men.

I even heard about one mother, not from the Tennessee team, whose boss threatened to fire her if she used her earned vacation days to watch her son play and her husband coach for their West Coast team. She went to the series, and she lost her job. That was the sacrifice she chose to make, but few people knew about it until the games were over and her story hit the media.

These dedicated, enthusiastic Little League parents made the dreams of their sons, the coaches, and their community come true. Generally speaking, they were not highly visible, but they were indispensably valuable.

A B
IRTHER OF
D
ESTINY

Just as it seems the Goodlettsville Little League team was destined to win the national championship in 2012, you also have a destiny. God has a great purpose for your life, and whether you are old or young, that purpose can be fulfilled. It may require hard work, good thinking, and some sacrifices. It will most likely mean that you need the right relationships in your life—relationships of true value. This was certainly the case for a man named Moses. One of the most famous stories about Moses is about God speaking
to him from a burning bush. In that moment, God gives him a huge assignment and calls him to the weighty task of delivering His people, the children of Israel, from more than four hundred years of Egyptian bondage (Ex. 3:1–10).

Moses is a great hero of the Christian and Jewish faiths—a man who gains God’s trust and who has even been called God’s friend. When Moses died, God Himself reached down and buried him (Deut. 34:6). Even though Moses clearly had a remarkably intimate relationship with God, he also had a lot of problems. Moses did not immediately embrace everything God asked of him. He was not strong and courageous in the face of his call as Israel’s deliverer; he was fearful, intimidated, and afraid he would not be able to speak. He asks God to send someone else to complete the task (Ex. 4:13). Clearly angry, God suggests that Moses’ older brother, Aaron, accompany him (Ex. 4:14). Knowing Aaron will go with him and speak to the Egyptian Pharaoh on his behalf, Moses ultimately says yes to the challenge.

After Moses accepts the call and heads toward Egypt with his family, something curious happens: the Lord shows up to kill him (Ex. 4:24). What on earth could have happened for God to so trust and favor Moses one day, then prepare to take his life so soon afterward? The answer is clear: Moses failed to obey one of God’s vital commandments. He did not circumcise his young son Eliezer.

I cannot overemphasize the importance of circumcision. This ritual was the sign of God’s covenant people, and as we can see from God’s strong response toward Moses’ failure to do it, it was highly significant. Perhaps Moses was so busy on his trip to Egypt that he simply forgot to circumcise his son, which means he ignored the covenant. Or maybe, as some scholars suggest, Moses became ill as a precursor to the death planned for him. Whatever his reason for not performing the important procedure, it was a massive mistake.

But Moses’ wife, Zipporah, saw what was happening and intervened. She circumcised her son and touched Moses’ feet with the foreskin. This action saved Moses’ life, putting him in a position to fulfill God’s call and ensure the deliverance of an entire nation. Without Zipporah’s sensitivity to the situation and willingness to do what needed to be done, Moses would have no doubt been killed. Instead, according to Exodus 4:26, the Lord “let him go” (
NKJV
) and spared his life.

The point of this story is that relationships of true value help position you and prepare you for your destiny. Before God could use Moses in a mighty way, he needed to prove himself faithful over his own household; he had to be trustworthy in little things before he could be trusted to do great things. Zipporah knew this and she helped him. Especially if experts are correct and Moses was indeed ill and weak, then Zipporah literally intervened to do what he may have been physically unable to do.

I wonder how many believers would immediately remember Zipporah’s name if asked to identify Moses’ wife. She is rarely mentioned as one of the leading ladies of Scripture, but she is vital to her husband’s destiny and to the destiny of her nation. She has never been highly
visible,
as women such as Ruth, Esther, Deborah, and Mary have been as biblical figures, but she is unspeakably
valuable
!

A P
ERFORMANCE
-E
NHANCING
P
ERSON

As the story continues, Aaron and Moses begin a series of conversations with Pharaoh. Throughout their interaction, Pharaoh makes the Israelites’ labor in Egypt increasingly difficult, and the people, who had viewed Moses as their deliverer, begin to doubt him. Finally, God puts Aaron in the forefront. God speaks to Moses,
giving him directions about what to say to Pharaoh. Moses tells Aaron what to say, and Aaron says it.

What arrests my attention about this scenario is that we do not see Aaron demonstrating any real moral support or encouragement to Moses. He simply does his job, and that is to boost Moses’ performance—to help him do what needs to be done.

Think about Aaron in comparison to the brief but powerful insights Moses’ story provides into Zipporah’s role. Scripture does not offer much for us to read about her, but we know that she was part of Moses’ life, adding value to him at the most critical times. While Aaron was in Moses’ life to help him perform, Zipporah was in his life to help prepare him for greatness. Without her, Moses would never have been able to stand in front of Pharaoh to ask for the release of God’s people. He would never have moved beyond the moment when he was almost killed.

Moses’ story reminds me of so many modern-day scenarios. For example, have you ever heard about young women or men who work hard to put their spouses through medical, law, or business school? These dedicated husbands and wives put in long hours and overtime to supplement their meager budgets because they know their sacrifices now will lead the couple into a prosperous future. Sadly, some of those well-educated husbands and wives receive these impressive degrees, land amazing jobs, and finally start making a little money, only to meet someone new as a result of the new career—someone more stunning, exciting, and seemingly much more ambitious than the current spouse, who worked to support them as much as possible and put them through school.

Or what about professional athletes whose wives sacrifice, uprooting their lives and their children every time a new team comes calling? Then, when that athlete finally gets a big break, he forgets about the people at home and abandons them for a well-built,
attractive cheerleader or fan. Later, when injury takes the athlete out of the spotlight and down on the pay scale, the cheerleader or fan loses interest. The athlete takes his shattered dreams and empty life somewhere else and sells real estate or used cars. That promising player could have had a safe, secure, loving relationship to go home to, had he only valued those who helped him reach stardom in the first place.

These kinds of scenarios play out far too often, and they are always heartbreaking. One person stands by another and helps make his or her dreams come true, only to be abandoned later for someone “better” or “more appropriate” for the dreamer’s new status. But the supportive spouse was extremely valuable—much more valuable, in fact, than the dreamer ever realized.

We must understand that the people who sacrifice for us and support us when we are first starting out, when no one knows our names, while we are still struggling to make our dreams come true—those are the people who will most likely be there when we hit a rough spot on life’s journey. Why? Because those are the people who are truly valuable to us.

O
H
, B
ROTHER
!

Of all the siblings listed in Scripture, Moses and Aaron may be the best-known Old Testament pair. When the two brothers are mentioned together in Scripture, it’s often in a less complimentary way toward Aaron. The text infers that, aside from being able to speak clearly, Aaron really was not very valuable to Moses. Granted, there was the time when Aaron and Hur held up Moses’ arms because that’s what was necessary for the Israelites to gain victory over the Amalekites (Ex. 17:10–15). But that day, the lives of all Israel were
at stake. Aaron not only helped Moses but he also saved his own life and the lives of his fellow Israelites. If he could not come through in a desperate moment such as that one, then he and Moses were both in big trouble.

While Aaron was extremely visible in the nation of Israel because of his role as high priest, he was not particularly valuable to Moses. If we look at the arc of his service to Moses and to the Israelites and examine the big picture of Aaron’s life, we can see he did rally in an important moment. But over the long term, he caused problems for his brother.

In one of Scripture’s most intimate stories about the relationship between God and a human being, God invites Moses into His presence on Mount Sinai. There, He speaks to Moses, giving him the Ten Commandments and offering direction and guidance about a number of matters pertaining to the Israelites. This had to be an awesome experience for Moses.

One reason God handles the situation on Mount Sinai as He does—covering the mountain with smoke and allowing the people to hear him speaking to Moses—is so the people will trust Moses wholeheartedly (Ex. 19:9). God wants them to know they have a faithful, trustworthy leader. But instead of patiently waiting for him to come down from the mountain, they grow anxious and frustrated, even saying, “As for this fellow Moses who brought us up out of Egypt, we don’t know what has happened to him” (Ex. 32:1).

Having lost hope in Moses, the people demand that Aaron make them an idol. The biblical story includes no protest from Aaron at all. He does not resist making the idol in the form of a golden calf, nor does he remind the people that they are not to have any gods before the Lord or to worship idols. He simply says, “Okay. Give me your gold jewelry and I’ll make you something.”

God becomes angry at the sight of the Israelites worshipping
this calf, so He sends Moses down the mountain to confront them, interrupting what must have been his greatest-ever time of communion and delight with God. This, to me, is one of the most heartbreaking moments in the Bible and of Moses’ entire tenure of leadership. Not only does Moses lose his intimate fellowship with God, he must also acknowledge that his own brother cannot be trusted to keep the Israelites faithful to their God or to protect him during this vital time of communion and revelation.

Another sad reality of this story is that I am convinced Moses really thought he needed Aaron. He must not have realized that he had other great people around him, such as Zipporah and her father, Jethro, who gave him excellent leadership advice (Ex. 18:13–24). Instead of keeping Zipporah close to him, we read in Exodus 18 that he sends her back to her father. Though the text does not state exactly why he does this, one point seems clear: he still does not value her. He continues to lean on Aaron.

Thinking about Moses, Zipporah, and Aaron, I wonder how many of us are in relationships we do not need because we think we cannot do without them. How many of us allow ourselves to be hindered and frustrated by people who are very visible, but not really very valuable in our lives?

T
HE
V
ISIBLE AND THE
V
ALUABLE

You may remember the television series
The Andy Griffith Show.
Griffith played Sheriff Andy Taylor of Mayberry, and Don Knotts played his eager but awkward, not-so-bright deputy, Barney Fife. Barney loved his uniform and his badge; he relished the authority and exposure he received as an officer of the law—but the fact is, he wasn’t good at it! He often botched simple operations and served
to exasperate Andy much more than he ever really assisted him. Yet when there was a spotlight to be shone, Barney made his way into it. Barney was extremely visible, but despite his position as Andy’s deputy, he hindered Andy’s work much more than he helped it.

The person of true value in Andy’s life was his Aunt Bea. She was the one who opened her home to him, fed him, and cared for him—a widower—and for his young son, Opie. Andy could not have done what he did in the town of Mayberry had Aunt Bea not acted behind the scenes. She was not the center of attention, but she played a critical role in his success.

Though Andy and Mayberry hark back to a time long past, similar scenarios involving visible people versus valuable people continue to unfold today. I have mentioned the US Champion Little League team. But think also about a CEO of a large company. This person may have a CFO or an executive vice president who is well educated, well-spoken, well dressed, and highly visible. But it may be the assistant who has provided twenty years of faithful service who
really
keeps the CEO going. Beyond that, it may be the wife of thirty years who keeps him grounded, motivated, and healthy.