Messy Beautiful Love (19 page)

31 Prayers for My Marriage

1. That we will draw closer to God.

“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded” (James 4:8).

2. That we will grow in wisdom.

“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding” (Prov. 4:7).

3. That we will stand strong against everything that threatens to tear our marriage apart or pull us away from the Lord.

“My brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers
of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Eph. 6:10–12).

4. That we will be wise parents.

“Ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).

5. That our faith will increase.

“The Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you” (Luke 17:6).

6. That we will trust God through every trial.

“Trust in the L
ORD
with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Prov. 3:5–6).

7. That we will keep our eyes on the Lord.

“The peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:7).

8. That we will maintain good health.

“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones” (Prov. 16:24).

9. That our marriage will be a godly example to others.

“Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (1 Tim. 4:12).

10. That we will seek God with pure and humble hearts.

“If from thence thou shalt seek the L
ORD
thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul” (Deut. 4:29).

11. That we will have compassion for the world around us.

“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness” (Col. 3:12–14).

12. That we will walk faithfully, redeeming the time.

“Unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more” (Luke 12:48).

13. That we will be content with little or with much.

“We brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content” (1 Tim. 6:7–8).

14. That we will run to God in times of trouble.

“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the L
ORD
, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust” (Ps. 91:1–2).

15. That our prayer life will be strengthened.

“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (1 Thess. 5:18).

16. That we will live according to God’s plan for our marriage.

“As the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Eph. 5:24–25).

17. That we will be obedient to the will of God.

“Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was” (James 1:22–24).

18. That we will walk in humility.

“He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself. After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded” (John 13:4–5).

19. That we will be united.

“I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, with all lowliness and meekness, with
longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:1–3).

20. That we will communicate wisely.

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers” (Eph. 4:29).

21. That serving God will be our first priority.

“If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God” (Col. 3:1).

22. That God will shape my role as a wife.

“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:4–5).

23. That we will have hearts of gratitude.

“I will bless the L
ORD
at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth” (Ps. 34:1).

24. That we will walk in virtue.

“Beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; and to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to
brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 1:5–8).

25. That our characters will reflect our faith.

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith” (Gal. 5:22).

26. That we will hunger and thirst for the Word of God.

“As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?”
(
Ps. 42:1–2).

27. That our faith will be sincere and genuine.

“The end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned” (1 Tim. 1:5).

28. That God will put a hedge of protection around our marriage.

“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the L
ORD
, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust” (Ps. 91:1–2).

29. That we will fellowship with other believers and meet like-minded Christian couples.

“Let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: not forsaking the assembling of
ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching” (Heb. 10:24–25).

30. That we will guide and nurture the growth of our children.

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6).

31. That our lives and our words will be a testimony of our faith.

“He said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature” (Mark 16:15).

Acknowledgments

L
ORD
J
ESUS, MY
S
AVIOR AND
F
RIEND, ONE
day I’m failing grade-twelve English, and the next thing you know, I’m writing a book. If I’ve come to learn anything in my life, it’s that all things are possible when they’re placed in Your almighty hands. I have this Friend who’s not only the God who rules over this entire universe and beyond but also is compassionate enough to walk by my side, offering grace each step of the way. Thank You from the bottom of my heart for Your unfailing grace.

Michael, my best friend this side of heaven, thank you for catching me when I fell. Your strength and grace are gifts that
rescued me from a pit of desperation and sin. Bold is the man who lets his wife write a book about the most intimate details of their lives and encourages her through the process. Thank you for being the lover and friend that you are.

Brendan, Madison, Graham, and Nathaniel, thank you for your prayers and your patience. We’re told in Scripture that a wife of noble character is crown to her husband, and there is no doubt in my heart that you are the gems in this crown. Some of the greatest moments of my life have been spent behind the wheel of our car listening to the four of you laugh. You make this momma’s heart sing. Thank you.

Matt, you are the dot to my
i
, the cross to my
t
. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for walking me through this process. And thank you for your wisdom, without which I’d be lost. You are the backbone to this journey. The countless hours that you have spent on this project have not gone unnoticed. You’re an incredible agent and a man of strong faith and integrity, which are vital to me as a fellow believer. This publishing world is far more than just shuffling papers and reading the fine print. To me it’s about being a vessel of faith that God can use for His glory. Thank you for being that man. Thank you for being my friend.

Lisa, no one has encouraged me through this process quite as much as you have. What is the count now, three thousand e-mails between us? There’s rarely a day, if any at all, that I don’t find a note of encouragement in my inbox.
You are a noble woman of character and a very dear friend. Thank you.

Soul sisters, Courtney, Angela, Ruth, Janelle, Clare, and Joy, one of the greatest blessings of this writing journey has been the opportunity of making some incredible friends. I love how God has brought us together and how He keeps bringing us back together time and again. That’s pretty cool. Thank you all for your encouragement and for welcoming this old lady into your fold.

Thomas Nelson, what can I say but “wow”? Thank you from the bottom of my heart for believing in this book and standing behind it the way that you have. I count it among my greatest blessings to be a part of your family.

Notes

Chapter Three: Be Patient and Kind When the Going Gets Tough

1
. Quoted in Malcolm Muggeridge,
Something Beautiful for God
(New York: HarperCollins, 1986), 113–14.

Chapter Eight: Communicate with Loving Respect

1
. Anna Esposito, ed.,
Fundamentals of Verbal and Nonverbal Communication and the Biometric Issue
(Amsterdam: IOS Press, 2007), 85.

Chapter Nine: Be the Woman Your Husband Needs You to Be

1
. John Eldredge,
Captivating Heart to Heart Participant’s Guide
(Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2007), 54.

2
. Ibid.

3
. Louann Brizendine,
The Female Brain
(New York: Random House, 2007), 160.

Chapter Ten: Be Affectionate in Ways That Are Pleasing to God

1
. Benedict Carey, “Evidence That Little Touches Do Mean So Much,”
New York Times
, February 22, 2010.

2
. Ibid.

Chapter Eleven: Seize the Day and Capture the Joy

1
. Nicole, “What if You Didn’t Have ‘One More Time’?” September 9, 2012, http://indulgentaromas.blogspot.com/.

2
. “Mother Teresa of Calcutta,” biographical sketch, http://www.vatican.va/news_services/liturgy/saints/ns_lit_doc_20031019_madre-teresa_en.html.

3
. Cited in Bob Kelly,
Worth Repeating
(Grand Rapids: Kregel, 2003), 26.

Chapter Thirteen: Be Content with the Life That You’re Given

1
. Laura Ingalls Wilder,
Little Town on the Prairie
(New York: HarperCollins, 1971), 107–8.

Chapter Fourteen: Walk in Virtue According to Wisdom

1
.
Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary
, 11th ed., s.v. “virtue.”

About the Author

D
ARLENE
S
CHACHT
’
S WRITING TALENT
, laced with design skill and determination, has placed her at the hub of online ministry where she has the ability to reach out to women in order to share faith and to minister to them. As the original founder of
Christian Women Online
magazine and the Internet Café Devotions, she is considered a pioneer among many of her peers. She has a strong online presence and the demonstrated ability to motivate women. Her popular blog,
Time-Warp Wife,
audience continues to show rapid growth.

She is the coauthor of Candace Cameron Bure’s
New York Times
best-selling book,
Reshaping It All: Motivation
for Physical and Spiritual Fitness
. Awards for
Reshaping It All
include 2011 USA Best Book Award and Christian Retailing 2012 Retailers Choice Award.

Darlene has been married to Michael Schacht for more than twenty-five years, and together they have four children. They are part of the faith community in Winnipeg, Manitoba.