Devotion (27 page)

While thoughts tangled and swirled, Kellen leaned in carefully. He kissed her cheek, lingering over the connection. Juliet didn’t pull away. Instead, her lashes fluttered. She closed her eyes and gave herself permission to fall just a little bit…

“Did I tell you?” he murmured. “You are such a beautiful mother-to-be.”

His gaze traveled slowly against the length of her. Juliet’s reactive squiggle earned a loving smile from Kellen.

“Thanks. I’m starting to feel pregnant, that’s for sure. It’s a lot more comfortable to be in maternity clothes.”

Kellen’s fingertip grazed against the hem of her blouse. “I like the new look.”

At that moment, the baby began to kick. Juliet jumped, and Kellen grabbed her arm in steadying support. “What’s wrong?”

Panic laced his voice.

She smiled assurance into his eyes and lifted his hand from her arm, placing it instead upon the spot where he might feel the baby move. “I’m fine…but it seems we’re percolating an NFL caliber kicker…”

It didn’t take long for the baby to slide and shift and kick again, rolling against the gentle pressure of Kellen’s flattened palm.

“How amazing…” His eyes were closed, his words a prayer of awe. Juliet kept her hand over his. She hoped their unity, their shared warmth, might transfer to the tiny, vibrant life bursting just below.

She savored the moment until their baby settled.

“What’s up for you today?” He sat down to finish his bread and coffee.

“I have a doctor’s visit in a couple of hours; then I’m seeing Pastor Gene this afternoon.”

Even the mention of counseling didn’t build too heavy a cloud over the moment. Kellen’s brows went up, and he turned to her once more. “Do you feel like having lunch together?”

This initiation into their day felt so normal, so luxuriously routine. Juliet nodded her acceptance, her smile filling her face without a second of hesitation.

****

“I still can’t believe I left my purse at your office.”

“No worries. Will you be late for your appointment?”

Juliet angled her wrist and checked her watch. “No, I’m fine. I’ve got plenty of time. Still, I feel like the clichéd absent-minded professor.”

They stood side-by-side in a mirrored, dimly lit elevator. Kellen chuckled at her comment, maintaining a guiding hand against the small of her back. Lunch had just concluded and they returned to Associated Talent. He felt lighthearted, savoring the miraculous way they had connected today. Never again would he take such a beautiful gift for granted. The only stain on his happiness was Juliet’s continuing struggle with blood pressure levels and an excessive level of proteins in her system. If the numbers didn’t improve before Juliet’s next visit, Dr. Roth intended to begin a round of medication.

A bell chimed and the elevator doors slid open to reveal a marble lobby trimmed with mahogany wood accents. They rounded a corner where a manned reception desk stood sentinel in front of a sitting area framed by plush area rugs and comfortable leather chairs.

Kellen froze when he realized Chloe Havermill occupied one of the seats. He wove his fingers tight against Juliet’s hand and drew her close.

Chloe spotted them, and stood promptly. “Hi, Kellen.” Her smile was welcoming, but a tad strained.

He couldn’t be rude and brush past her, but that’s exactly what he wanted to do. “Hey, Chloe.”

Juliet’s reaction hit him instantly. She literally shrank against his side, though her face remained friendly and smooth, her smile in place with beauty and perfect timing. He wondered what that graceful display of class cost her on the inside.

Kellen stepped up to his former client and shook her hand, but he quickly included Juliet, keeping her as close as he could. “Juliet, you remember Chloe Havermill.”

“Of course I do.” The women shook hands as well. “Congratulations on the success of
Swing Time
.”

“Thanks so much. It’s good to see you again.” Chloe reacted warmly, but her gaze traveled to the unmistakable swell of Juliet’s pregnancy. Chloe’s lips wavered and she blinked, but in an instant, that reaction passed, and she looked at Kellen and Juliet with nothing more than a friend’s admonishment and curiosity. “You have news to share, it seems. Can I offer you my congratulations?”

Kellen felt Juliet’s grip go tight against his hand. Next, the fingers of her free hand wrapped slowly around his forearm. She wasn’t being possessive, he realized. She was completely displaced and uncomfortable, looking for a means of steady support.

“We’re expecting.” Kellen focused on Chloe but kept hold of Juliet, all but willing her to read his thoughts.
Don’t fade away and step back on me. Don’t feel threatened. You’re the one I want. You’re the one I’m fighting for—with everything I have to give. Our marriage and our child is what I want more than my next heartbeat.

Chloe’s demeanor remained bright, but Kellen recognized the slight tautness of her shoulders, and her stiff stance. “How exciting. When are you due?”

“In a little less than four months,” Juliet replied.

“A Christmas baby, perhaps—how great.” Chloe’s gaze trained on Kellen. “Congratulations again.”

Although the only thing he wanted to do was bolt and run, and protect Juliet as best he could, an amazing thing happened when he looked into Chloe’s eyes. There was absolutely no sizzle. No trace of a spark. Not even a whisper of the driving, heady attraction that had led him so close to spiritual annihilation.

“Are you here for a meeting?” Kellen asked.

Chloe nodded. “With Ryan Douglas.”

Ryan, Kellen knew, was now Chloe’s agent. He was about to wish her well and conclude this uncomfortable and unexpected encounter when a doorway opened into the lobby.

“Kellen—I thought I heard your voice. I’ve got…oh…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Never had the sweet, eager face of his assistant, Anna, been so welcome. Kellen turned swiftly from Chloe. “We were just wrapping up. What’s going on?”

“I’ve got In His Name Productions on the line. They have preliminary action items about securing Tyler Brock to participate in their Christian music festival. When I heard your voice, I trailed you. Sorry to just jump right in.”

Anna was sorry? Kellen wanted to give her a big, fat raise. “Don’t apologize. I’ll grab the call.” He nodded at Chloe and steered Juliet gently toward the hallway leading to his office.

Kellen thought about the Scripture verse he had read this morning—the proverb about charm, beauty—and deception. He considered the ways in which a Godly woman was so precious and realized the verse wasn’t meant to speak only to him; it was meant to comfort and strengthen Juliet as well—for this very moment.

He only hoped she might recall its wisdom and cling to its comfort.

****

Juliet held it together.

She snagged her purse. Before leaving and letting Kellen resume his business day, she gave him a perfunctory hug good-bye accompanied by a smile she didn’t truly feel. By that time, the lobby was empty and she escaped from Associated Talent without further delays or awkward interactions.

It’s not that she was angry with Kellen. Chloe’s arrival to meet with her agent certainly wasn’t Kellen’s fault, and Chloe had every right to remain engaged as a successful artist of Associated Talent.

Juliet knew all that—but reasonable thought patterns didn’t keep her heart from shredding. She had been forced to look straight into Chloe’s stunning eyes…heard her speak with the lips that had touched Kellen’s. Juliet had been left with no choice but to extend a hand of courtesy when she actually wanted to slap the woman straight across the face and run away. Playing nice with the one who had all but destroyed her marriage left Juliet devastated. She stumbled into her car and closed the door. The insulation didn’t help. She gasped for air. Ricochets of pain zinged against her nerves.

Every noble ambition, every faultless desire to move forward kept meeting up against tribulation. Is this how the rest of her life and marriage would be? From this point on, would she be forced to endure an endless cycle of reoccurring pain and doubt?

Juliet posed the question to Pastor Gene at her counseling session that afternoon, and she did so amidst tears that rolled big and warm down her cheeks. She dabbed them away with tissues, but they kept on coming.

“Every time I feel like we’ve made progress, reality steps in and slams me down. I don’t know what to think. Kellen has returned to worship. We’re doing everything we can to embrace God and pray together, and rebuild. But then the world rushes in and steals what precious little peace we can find. Kellen has told me he thought he was looking after his well-being by grabbing a few extra hours of rest rather than going to church. I never fought him on it. I gave in, and tried to be supportive, and understanding. Now I know better. What could possibly be better for him—for both of us—than time spent in communion with God?”

“Nothing.” Pastor Gene’s answer came instantly, but he didn’t condemn Kellen. There was comfort to be found there. He leaned forward in the chair across from Juliet, planting his feet and propping his elbows on his knees. “Here’s something I’d like you to consider.” He paused until Juliet focused on him. “Evil isn’t ever going to give up, no matter how strong your faith. Evil isn’t ever going to stop fighting. In my opinion, that’s part of what you’re coming up against. The closer we get to God, the harder the devil tries to tie us up.” He grinned. “Look at it this way. You must be doing something right, because it seems you and Kellen are ticking off the prince of evil.”

They shared a laugh.

“You’ve both grown from the problems you face, Juliet. You’ve emerged from a period of complacency and routine, and if you can find the way to openly and freely forgive, you’ll both emerge stronger than ever.”

“I pray for that every day.” Her soft words faded to silence.

Pastor Gene settled back against his chair; his gaze was steady. “Is Kellen the same man he was six or seven months ago?”

Juliet didn’t answer right away. She thought about her answer. “No. He’s changed.”

“For the better?”

Juliet sighed, and nodded.

“That says something. Furthermore, I don’t think he’s getting away from this episode unscathed. Do you?” He waited for a moment, until Juliet shook her head, keeping her eyes diverted.

She tried and tried to find a way to hang on to the anger, but doing so was difficult now—nearly as difficult as letting it all go and beginning her relationship with Kellen on even ground, completely renewed.

“Keep at it,” Pastor Gene concluded. “Don’t give up. Big changes are happening, and God will meet you there. I promise.”

24

Kellen’s cell phone buzzed. He launched the call, eyes not straying from the spreadsheet he constructed. “Kellen Rossiter.”

“Hey, Kellen. It’s Mom.”

This was a pleasant surprise. Kellen promptly ignored his quarterly report to Weiss McDonald providing per-client-income calculations and revenue percentages. “Mom—hey!” He turned away from the computer. “I’m not used to hearing from you in the middle of the day. How are you doing?”

“Great—just got back from the craft store.”

He chuckled. “Indulging your scrapbooking passion again?”

“Always! Dad even came with me, but I had to reciprocate by helping him do some work in the yard.” Another laugh followed. “Anyway, we got to talking.”

“About?”

“Mostly about how much we miss you and Juliet.”

“Well that sentiment is definitely mutual. Strange that lawn work would lead you to that connection.”

“We were wishing for your muscle and pruning skills.”

“I’m horrible at horticulture and you know it.”

“What can I say? We’re desperate.”

“You must be.” He stretched back, relaxing into the tone of the call. It warmed him to touch base with home.

“So, back to you and Juliet. We were wondering, do you think you might be able to indulge us with a visit sometime soon?”

Just like that, relaxation blew into pieces of shrapnel. Kellen cringed. It had been way too long since he had been to Los Angeles…but…a trip? Now? With Juliet?

Were it not for the shambles of his life, a trip to California would have already taken place, or been in the works. The request wasn’t unexpected. Unintentionally, his silence stretched. “I’m not trying to put any pressure on you and Juliet…”

Kellen rubbed at a sudden muscle knot between his neck and shoulder. “I know that, Mom. No worries.”

“With the baby arriving in a few months, your lives will be changing. You probably won’t be traveling for a while, so we thought we’d float the idea.”

The knot moved from his shoulder to his stomach. “You make a good point. Flying with babies isn’t always fun.” How was he supposed to handle this situation?

“Then, I looked at the calendar and went all nostalgic.”

Kellen propped an elbow on the desk. He picked up a paperclip, fidgeting. “What do you mean?”

“Well, with your anniversary coming up, Dad and I thought it would be fun to celebrate with dinner at The Skyline Club.”

Kellen bent the paperclip over his thumb, channeling nervousness into the flimsy piece of metal until it snapped. His nine-year wedding anniversary was three weeks away. Kellen knew the date loomed, but he hadn’t found a way to deal with it yet. Out of necessity, he focused on one goal alone--recapturing the heart of his wife.

Confronted with the prospect of celebrating his marriage, Kellen realized he couldn’t refuse his parents. Furthermore, he could use an afternoon in LA to touch base at the headquarters for Associated Talent. Any other work-related issues could be handled remotely. Logistically, nothing stood in the way. Emotionally, however, he looked down upon a deep and dangerous chasm.

How would Juliet react to the idea of vacationing together, and celebrating a troubled marriage in the process? He couldn’t possibly answer his mom’s request without asking Juliet first.

“Let me get with Juliet. Can we call you back tonight?”