Beautifully Shattered (The Beautifully Series Book 1) (44 page)

Jax rubs his hand over
his face. His voice is once again calm when he speaks. “Let’s
just talk later, we both said things we didn’t mean.”

“We’ve said things
we didn’t mean? Really? What did I say that I didn’t mean? We’re
not friends since YOU have been avoiding me. I want our friendship
back. There’s nothing I said that I didn’t mean, Jax. So please
don’t put words in my mouth.”

“I can’t do this
anymore.”

“What the hell are
you talking about?” I ask.

He doesn’t say
anything at first. He gazes around the room. I know before he opens
his mouth that it isn’t good since he can’t even look at me.

“Us,” Jax finally
says.

“There is no us,
that’s the point! You’ve been avoiding me so what exactly can’t
you do anymore, Jax?”

As soon as the words
leave my mouth, I know. It’s that little voice in my head that I
was always afraid of. I know without a doubt what he’s about to
say, yet it doesn’t make it easier.

“There isn’t a
friendship to fix because we’ve never been friends.”

My throat is suddenly
dry, but I manage to choke out. “We’re not friends?”

“No.”

The absoluteness in his
voice helps me find mine again, “No? What am I to you?”

“Logan’s little
sister.”

I land a perfect punch
to Jax’s jaw. I’m so pissed I don’t feel pain in my hand. I’m
not even satisfied when Jax stumbles back and I see the split lip. He
rubs his jaw and wipes the blood on his shirt.

“All those nights I
let you in my bed.” I yell, remembering our time together. “I
gave you my virginity! None of that means anything to you?” I shove
him as hard as I can. “After EVERYTHING, that’s all I am to you!
Logan’s sister! After all those times I patched you up when your
dad beat the shit out of you, all I am is Logan’s little sister!”

I desperately want to
hurt him how he’s hurt me. My body is screaming at me to hit him
again, but it won’t change anything.

“You’re pathetic!
Get out!”

“Ads, let me
explain,” he pleads.

I push him towards the
door. He needs to leave now. I don’t want him to see me crumble. I
can’t let him know how much he’s killing me. I bite my lip to
keep from begging him to not do this to us. The pain helps center me.
I square my shoulders as I turn to face the one man that has the
power to destroy me. And he just did.

“My name is Adalynn.
Don’t call me, Ads again. We’re not friends, we have never been
friends. I’m just your best friend’s little sister, remember?”

“I’m so—”

My eyes blaze as I dare
him to utter another work. I don’t need his apology. I need him to
leave.

“Don’t. I don’t
want to hear you’re sorry. You came over and said what you had to
say, now you can leave.” I snap my hand out for my key. “Give me
my key, please.”

He had said the one
thing that I always feared he would say. He must sense that he might
get hit again because he sighs and reaches into his back pocket. My
hand trembles as he sets my key into my hand. It feels like this, us,
is finally over.

Jax spins on his heel
and walks to the door. He hesitates before opening it. He rests his
forehead on the door and sighs. After a few seconds, he finally opens
it. I let out the breath I was holding. I was sure he was going to
say something. Wishful thinking.

I can’t believe he’s
just going to walk out. After everything, this is how it ends between
us? I grip the door handle and glare at the one person I thought
would always be here for me. I never thought he wouldn’t be in my
life. I thought I could always count on him. I guess I was wrong.

“I’m glad I can
finally see the person you really are. I could never be friends with
someone like you. So thank you, thank you for
finally
showing me your true colors.” I slam the door in his face.

I slide to the floor.
The rage from seconds ago starts to disappear. I feel empty without
it, without Jax in my life. I rock back and forth, hitting my back
against the door. Slamming myself into the hard wood. I wince from
the pain and stop.

Closing my eyes, I
replay everything that happened. I wish I could have done something
different, said something different, to have Jax still in my life.
It’s unimaginable pain hearing the one thing you always feared was
true. No matter how I look at the situation, I don’t think I could
have said or done something to change his mind.

I finally get off the
floor and pick up Jax’s broken phone. I throw it away. I know he’ll
have his assistant replace the phone in the morning. I wouldn’t
want to go buy a new one and pretend everything was normal between
us.

My phone chimes in my bedroom. When
I pick it up, I see that it’s Kohen.

Kohen:
Hope I don’t wake you, but I wanted to tell you as
soon as possible. I can’t make it tomorrow. I have an emergency
surgery I can’t get out of. I already called your brother so he
knows that I won’t be taking you and he can pick you up instead.

I slap my hand over my
face. I forgot about the fundraiser. I’ll have to face Jax
tomorrow. I will have to pretend like he didn’t just shatter my
heart. I won’t let him see how devastated I am.

I need to get myself
under control if I have any hope of confronting Jax tomorrow. I close
my eyes in an attempt to calm down. Immediately I see Jax’s face
when he told me I’m just Logan’s little sister. My mind won’t
stop replaying it.

I don’t even care
that Kohen can’t make it. I would’ve been a terrible date because
the only thing occupying my mind would be to stay calm and not show
Jax how I feel. Kohen does not deserve the back burner.

Tomorrow night is going
to be hell.

“Are you two ready
yet?” Connor asks from the other side of my bedroom door.

Whose bright idea was
it to have all of us meet at my apartment? I muse as I stand in front
of my full length mirror.

Harper is in my
in-suite bathroom, putting on her dress. I stare at my reflection. I
seem different. My eyes are hard, they match my now impenetrable
heart. For some reason when I smile, it’s obvious that it’s fake.
It takes a few tries to get it right. When I’m finally able convert
into the happy person that I need to be tonight, I uncap the new
lipstick Harper bought me. It’s a perfect blend of a soft rosy
color that makes my lips pop, but not too dramatic.

“Wow! I don’t think
Jax will think of you as anyone’s little sister, wearing that.”

“Thanks, I think?”

“It’s a compliment.
One look at you and he will be fighting to get your attention.”

“Why would he have to
fight?” I ask her, studying my stunning Lela Rose gown in the
mirror.

It’s a fire engine
red, off-the-shoulders fitted gown with a slight ruffled train. It
shows all my curves. I feel beautiful in this gown. It gives me the
confidence I will need seeing Jax tonight.

“Because every man in
the room is going to want every second you’re willing to give them.
Besides, you’re going to make that asshole work for it. I mean
really work for it, I don’t care how hot he looks, either!”

I mock salute her.
“Yes, General.”

“Oh, I almost
forgot.” Harper rummages into her clutch. “I saw this the other
day and just had to get it. It’s the perfect accessory to complete
the look.”

“Thank you! It’s
beautiful!”

Harper helps me clasp
the diamond choker around my neck. It’s perfect! Three rubies gleam
in the center and diamonds encrust the rest of the choker. No wonder
she insisted on me styling my hair in an up-do. She really does think
of everything.

Her dress is bold
enough to forgo accessories. I wish I was comfortable enough to wear
something like her Jason Wu black see-through lace dress. It’s a
form-fitting number as well, with a tulle train. Only Harper can pull
off a dress that is both provocative and conservative at the same
time.

“You’re welcome.
Ready to go?”

“Yeah, I guess,” I
mumble.

“Hey, none of that. I
won’t have you being sad because your lover is an idiot.”

“How many times do I
have to tell you Jax isn’t my lover?”

Harper shrugs. “As
many times until you prove me wrong.”

I groan. There really
isn’t getting through to her. She’s stubborn. No wonder why we
get along so well. I can’t wait to tell her my surprise. I
instantly cheer up.

“You look sexy, you
know this, right?”

“All thanks to you!”

“No, that,” I say,
sweeping my hand in the direction of her body, “is all you.”

“Thanks . . . wait
why are you in such a good mood? I know you don’t swing the other
way so it can’t just be my good looks.”

I slap my hand over my
face as if I just remembered something. “I forgot, I have a
surprise for you, too!”

Her entire face lights
up. It almost makes me not want to go through with it. Almost is the
key word. I link our arms and drag her towards my bedroom door.

“You’re not my date
for tonight.” I turn the knob.

“Huh? I thought Kohen
wasn’t coming?”

I open it and let her
through first. Connor leans against the wall opposite my bedroom
door.

“Oh no, he’s still
not coming, but you were never my date.”

Harper stops and turns
her head in my direction. “Who is then?”

“I am,” Connor says
huskily.

“Sure you are, stud,”
Harper says with a small laugh.

Harper yanks my arm,
stopping my plan to flee to my brother. Logan stands in the middle of
the hallway with his arms crossed over his chest. When I say grab, I
mean she latches onto my arm with surprising force, not allowing me
to move another step without her.

“What?” I ask in an
innocent voice.

We all stare at Harper.
It’s easy to see the wheels turning in her head as she realizes I’m
not joking. Her sweet smile makes me a little nervous. It’s the
kind that you just know means trouble. I’m hoping trouble for
Connor and not me, but I don’t think I’m that lucky. I know the
fiery little redhead will have her payback on me soon enough. Letting
go of my arm, Harper saunters over to Conner and wraps her hand
around his offered arm.

“Well, let’s go
already, my date and I hate being late,” Harper says as she leads
the way to my front door.

“I’ll hate whatever
you tell me to hate,” Connor responds as he opens the door.

She gives him a patient
smile, one that a mother uses on a misbehaving child. “With lines
like that, I wonder how I’m the lucky lady on your arm instead of
your usual whores.”

Logan manages to cover
his chuckle with a cough. I don’t even attempt to hide my laugh
which earns me a glare from Connor.

“Oh, don’t look at
me like that! It was funny!” I say.

“And true, man,”
Logan pipes in.

Connor rides the
elevator in silence as the rest of us make fun of him. Luckily Connor
doesn’t take anything personally, he even lets out a few chuckles
as we leave the building and approach the waiting limo. I’m
surprised the driver doesn’t open the door for us; instead it opens
from the inside.
Shoot me now.

I want to imagine that
my brother is bringing a date, but I know it’s not a woman. The
frown that Harper sends my way confirms what I’m thinking. Once I
get inside the limo, I will have to face him. I’m not ready. I
thought I would see him at the fundraiser. I was prepared for that.
Almost.

I scan the area in hope
that there might be another limo coming just for me. It isn’t a
real possibility, but fantasy is better than reality right now. I
bend and pretend to fix my heel.
Not
a big deal. Nonchalant. Easy.
Too bad pretending to fix a
heel without an actual problem can’t take all night. Without
anything else to stall the inevitable, I straighten up, and walk the
last steps to the black limo.

“I’m guessing by
the fantastic performance of stalling, you never talked to Jax?”
Logan asks quietly in my ear.

“I don’t know what
you’re talking about.”

Harper gets in first,
followed by Connor. I look longingly at my apartment building before
climbing in. Logan sits next to me and gives me a small grin.

I keep my eyes away
from the far end of the limo, where Jax is. Instead, I pin my
attention on the amazing view outside. I pretend that it is the most
fascinating thing in the world, that I’ve never seen the lights of
the city before. I tilt my head as we drive through Times Square.
Tourists roam the streets, bundled up on this cold New York night. I
block out everything. I no longer care that I can feel Jax in here
with me. All I care about is the world outside this window. That’s
the world I want to be in right now.

“Hello, earth to
Adalynn,” Connor says slowly enough that he almost spells out
hello.

I nod in his direction
so he know’s I’m listening, but I refuse to turn away from the
window. I will have to look away eventually, but eventually isn’t
this exact moment.

I sigh before facing
Connor. He and Harper occupy the bench across from the bar, which
takes up the entire right side of the limo. Jax is the furthest away
from me, he’s in the seat in front of the privacy mirror, but it
seems as if he’s the closest because he’s directly across from
me. I can feel his eyes on me, waiting for me to acknowledge him. I
don’t.

“Champagne?” Connor
asks.

I swing my hand out,
more than ready to get drunk. “Oh god yes!”

“Cheers!” Harper
says too brightly.

Her presence makes the
pain a little better. I’m glad that she is here, and is telling me
she’s here for me without words.

“To an amazing
night!” Logan says beside me.

Connor slides his arm
around Harper’s shoulders. “An unforgettable night!”