Beautifully Shattered (The Beautifully Series Book 1) (42 page)

Me:
Hey sorry just checked my phone. Hour or two tops. Are you
still working?

The phone buzzes as the bartender
passes Harper two beers and a shot.

Kohen:
Okay. No, I’m out at dinner with Claire and her
husband. Keep your phone on you, babe!

Me:
Will do.

I set down my phone as
Harper returns. The small shake of her head tells me that she caught
me. She hands me a shot.

“Consequences for
breaking the rules. Bottoms up.”

I clink the shot with
her beer. As I reach for the lime, she stretches across the table for
my phone. I slap my hand on the table to stop her, but she’s too
fast.

“Harper don’t, give
it back.”

She shakes her head. “I
think someone needs a reminder that if they have a penis, then they
can’t interrupt girls’ night.”

My eyes widen in horror
as her thumbs move over the screen. This is bad. I need to stop her.
“Seriously, Harper, you made your point, now give me back my
phone.”

She offers me the phone with a
wicked grin. Not good. I glance down. Crap! Kohen will be furious.

Me:
If I’m out having a few drinks, please refrain from
contacting me unless it’s an emergency. I’m not going to check in
every five minutes. If you have a problem with that, get over it.
Enjoy your evening, I know I am.

I gasp. How could she
do this? She knows this will create problems.

“You’re seriously
getting bent out of shape for me sending a joke?”

“You had no right to
text him. He has done nothing but be nice to you.” I stand up,
ready to leave. “You need to get over your issue you with him,
Harper. He’s a nice person, he treats me well.”

She rolls her eyes.
“Last time I checked, bruises don’t scream nice person.”

I want to yell at her,
but I can’t. Harper has a point, but she’s wrong. She doesn’t
see the real Kohen. He has only shown his vulnerable side to me. He’s
damaged like me, he has his problems, but so does everyone else. I
can’t fault him for that. He loves me.

“He isn’t the
monster you make him out to be,” I tell her as I pick up my purse.

She doesn’t seem
convinced. “He hurt you.”

“It was a
misunderstanding.”

“I don’t trust
him!”

I shrug. “You don’t
have to. You have to trust me.” I glance around and notice we’re
making a scene. “I know you mean well, but causing problems between
us isn’t going to help. You need to get over this, for me.”

“But what if—”

“No, Harper. You need
to stop. I’m telling you, he isn’t like that.”

She searches my face
for any sign of a lie. She finally nods. “You’re right, I’m
sorry, Addie. Stay.”

My phone buzzes, I
silence it. I’ll deal with Kohen in a minute. “No, I’m going to
call it a night. I’ll talk to you soon.”

She moves to stand but
I’m already leaving. I’m still pissed at her for texting him. She
could have gone about it in a different way. Instead, she tried to
make Kohen angry, and succeeded if the continuous calls from him are
any indication. I don’t even have time to open the bar door before
my phone rings again. I know I shouldn’t answer, but I do. I’d
rather deal with him when we’re not face-to-face.

“I want you to leave
now! I’m already on my way back to my place.”

He isn’t yelling, but
he’s mad. Yup, answering was the wrong decision.

“Look, it was a joke.
Calm down or I’m not going to see you.” I wait for a reply, but
he doesn’t respond. “I’m already getting in a cab. Meet me at
my place so we can talk.”

He hangs up. I throw my
phone into my purse as I rave down a taxi. Once I’m settled in the
backseat I rest my head against the cold glass. If he’s not at my
place when I get home, then fine, we can talk tomorrow. I’m not
showing up at his apartment to explain myself. When the cab pulls up
to our building, I see him leaning against the brick. I shouldn’t
have worried, Kohen isn’t the type to run away from his problems.

I grasp the straps of
my purse, and square my shoulders. He doesn’t speak as he leads me
into the elevator. It isn’t until we’re safely locked in my
apartment that he breaks the silence.

“I don’t want you
seeing Harper anymore. She’s a bad influence,” he says calmly as
he hangs up my coat.

“You honestly think
you have a right to dictate who I spend time with?”

When he turns around,
he’s looking at me as if I’m stupid. “She hit someone. She
didn’t care if she seriously hurt them, she just took off. Now
she’s trying to start a fight between us. Why would you want to
hang out with someone like that?”

My hands quiver while I
listen to him. On a small level, I know he’s right, but he’s
wrong about her.

“It was a fender
bender, and she was terrified. It doesn’t justify what she did, but
I can’t let one mistake ruin a friendship. If I did, would you
seriously be standing here in front of me?”

His jaw tightens as his
teeth grind together. I pissed him off. Good. He has no right
choosing my friends.

“I just want what’s
best for you, Addie. I don’t want you spending time with someone
who could leave an accident without another thought. She’s a bad
person.”

My throat feels dry
because in any other circumstance, he would be right. But not now,
not about Harper. She’s a good person, an even better friend.

“She’s my friend.”

He leads us to my
bedroom. Silently, we get ready for bed together. I assume the fight
is over, but as I climb into bed, I’m proven wrong.

“Just be safe when
you’re around her. I don’t trust her.”

I don’t say anything.
There’s no point in arguing with him. He joins me under the covers
after setting the alarm on his phone. He pulls my head onto his chest
and trails his fingers through my hair. As much as I want to, I can’t
make my body relax into him. Instead I kiss him so he doesn’t think
anything is wrong and face the other way.

His hand travels up and
down my back. My body is at war with itself. It wants to rebel
against his touch but it can’t. He brings me comfort. Slowly, at
the speed of ice thawing, I melt into his touch.

I add another five
pounds to the weight machine. My arms shake from overuse, but I keep
pushing, needing to focus on my muscles burning rather than the
problems in my life. Kohen. Harper. Jax. In that order.

“Keep going like
that, you’re going to hurt yourself, sis.”

“This is not my first
time working out . . . I know, shocker.”

My brother stops what
he’s doing and comes over to me. I’m too mad to care that I
snapped at him. I ignore him as best as I can while finishing my
current rep.

“For an athlete,
you’re pretty stupid.”

I glare at my brother
and move on to the next task. Squats. I hate squats. I sigh as I head
towards the free-weight section of Logan’s home gym. Clutching the
bar, I notice that my brother switched the weight for me. This simple
task makes my anger die down a little, but I’m still ready to kill
someone. Sadly, my brother witnesses my anger firsthand. I guess we
know whose the better sibling.

“I’m not an
athlete,” I remind him.

“Could have fooled
me.”

“Whatever,” I say
under my breath.

I know that Logan
doesn’t deserve me acting like this, I really do, I just can’t
help it. I’m so upset and I don’t know how to handle it. I even
did a few laps in the pool earlier, but that didn’t help. If
anything, swimming made it worse, because it reminded me of the root
of the problem. Jax. It’s always Jax.

My brother does
pull-ups while he watches me. He would always do this when we were
younger. He would let me lash out at him and then wait for me to
spill my guts. That’s not gonna happen this time. It can’t. I’m
mad because of his best friend. Not something that I think he will
want to hear. Plus I can handle it on my own. I’m not a child.

I snap, “What!”

“Nothing. You ready
to tell me what’s wrong?”

I don’t say anything.
I turn my head in search of a distraction. I need to keep busy. I
need to find something to take my mind off everything. I still can’t
believe swimming didn’t work. That would always do the trick. It’s
because of Jax. He just had to be the one to get me back in the
water. What a jerk!

I spot what I need in
the corner. I eye my brother. He looks from me to the bag.

“We’re wrapping
your hands, first.”

I mock salute him as I
follow him over to the punching bag area in his private gym. I give
Logan my hands so that he can wrap them up for me. When I’m all
ready to go, my brother stands behind the bag and holds it for me.

“Lets see what you
got, Ali.”

I plant my legs how
he’s shown me and punch the bag as hard as I can. I’m not focused
so the punch doesn’t do as much damage as it should have. I hit the
bag again, this time with the result that I want. I picture the one
person that I need to hit right now.

I see Jax’s stupid
face instead of the black punching bag. I hit harder and harder each
time. I imagine breaking his nose, hearing the crunch when my fist
connects with it. I then land a kick. I can almost hear the grunt he
would make if I landed it into his side instead of this bag.

“Adalynn, enough!”
Logan snaps loudly enough to break through the mental image of me
kicking Jax’s avoiding ass. I finally texted him back and he never
responded! He texted me first!

I bend down at the
waist, throw the gloves to the floor, and start peeling off the
wraps. When my hands are finally free, I drop my head into my hands
and scream. I let out the loudest, most frustrated scream anyone has
ever heard. It would have done Hadley proud. I crumble to the floor
on my knees, exhausted.

Logan crouches next to
me. He doesn’t say anything, as he rubs my arm in a soothing manner
while I let it all out. I scream for everything I lost, for my
family, and for me. It’s then that I realize that I’m not only
mad at Jax. I’m mad at them, too. I’m mad at them for leaving me.

I’m mad at my parents
and my sister. I’m mad that they’re not here and I am. I’m
pissed that I survived. I’m mad that I had to listen to them suffer
for hours while I sat there helplessly, unable to do anything but
listen to them die. I’m mad at the world for going on and not
realizing they were suffering, that my family was dying.

My body trembles in
silent sobs. No tears come out. I won’t let them. Logan holds me
tighter. Never saying anything, but saying everything in his embrace.
I get myself under control after a while.

“Thanks.”

“It’s what I’m
here for.” He kisses the top of my head. “Ready to talk about it,
sis?”

I used to be able to
tell him everything, but I can’t now. I want to, I really do, I
just can’t, not about this. I give him a small smile that doesn’t
feel right and shake my head.

“Okay then. Want me
to guess?”

I narrow my eyes at him
and get up. “I think our workout is done.”

“Good idea.” He
hands me my water. “Now why don’t you go work things out with
Jax.”

I spit water all over
my brother while managing to choke at the same time. I was not
expecting that. Logan smacks my back. I keep my back to him so he
can’t see my shocked face.

“Wh-what?” I squeak
out when I can breathe again.

Logan doesn’t answer
me at first. I cross my hands over my chest and glare at my brother.
I know what he’s doing. He’s stalling to lure a reaction out of
me. I won’t fall for it. That’s what I tell myself, anyways.

“Well? Don’t shut
up now. I know you are dying to tell me whatever is on your mind!”

“Huh?” he asks,
playing dumb.

I’m not falling for
it. Not this time. If he wants to say something, he will. I dry the
sweat off with a towel then fling it at his head. He ducks, used to
my tantrums.

“Okay, well, I’m
out of here.”

“Bye.”

I stop and turn to him.
Mouth dropped to the floor. I was not expecting that. I know I should
leave. I don’t want to know what he has to say about Jax. I don’t
want to fall for his stupid trap. I do anyways.

“Spit it out already,
Logan.”

“Spit what out?”

“Don’t be a child.
If you have something to say, say it.”

“Are you ready to
talk yet?” he asks.

“Are you?” I
challenge.

Together we sit on the
floor against his panoramic window, with the view of the city behind
us. I rest my head on his arm again and watch how the sun rays
reflect off the punching bag’s metal chain.

“Something happened
between you and Jax, didn’t it?” he asks.

I hold my breath. I
don’t want to lie to my brother, but I can’t find the words to
tell the truth. Saying yes would be so easy if things were different
between Jax and I, but sadly things aren’t. My brother takes my
silence as an answer.

“You want to talk
about it?”

I sigh heavily.
“There’s nothing to talk about because nothing happened.”

I’m not sure what my
brother knows, but I do know that I won’t be giving any information
out. Not about this.

“So you two just
avoid each other for fun then?”

“I don’t . . . He’s
the . . . Never mind, it doesn’t matter. We’re not avoiding each
other.”

Logan studies me, which
of course makes me uncomfortable. He frowns. I would cut off my left
arm to read his mind. I feel like my brother just tested me on
something and I want to know if I passed.

“That’s
impressive.”

“What?” I ask,
regretting it as soon as the word slips out of my mouth.

“That you say ‘it
doesn’t matter’ like you believe it. Too bad I know something is
going on between you two and you’re not okay with it.”

“We had a fight. We
got over it. We’re not avoiding each other, we just haven’t been
in the same room.” He avoids being anywhere I am and doesn’t
respond to my texts or calls.