The Natural: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want (16 page)

You:
Tanya, I’ve just made you 38 percent more attractive. You owe me!

Standard, low-risk opener that fits a Mr. Sociable frame.

If a girl is making eye contact with you, this is a good opener to use. By way of variation, you can accuse girls of stalking you, checking you out, etc.

This line uses fake social proof, a guy with a girlfriend being higher value than a single guy out on the prowl, to make it easier to open. Point to some random hot girl as your “girlfriend.” Later it can be revealed that she’s just a female friend, and you’re in fact single—although you’re friends with lots of girls.

This is a funny one, and the delivery is important: suspicion mixed with playfulness works well. You might add that they look shifty, like they’re going to steal something.

This is a fairly direct opener that offsets the direct question by asking it from a friend’s point of view.

When you see women talking seriously, you can open with this. Chances are they’re talking about men, and so will laugh. If not, they’ll still probably laugh because they know that they often are male-bashing.

This approach works purely because it’s funny. If you deliver the lines right, you’ll get a laugh. It’s important to make sure they know that you’re joking. Otherwise this turns into a
direct
approach.

Then why are you acting so nervous?

This is a good way to open a group that is standing near you. You can follow up with something like this:

You:
So what do you think?

Her:
About what?

You:
About what we were talking about.

Her:
We weren’t listening!

You:
Okay, well, we were talking about whether…

From here you can segue easily into an opinion opener (again, more on those later).

This is a pretty good opener for two attractive girls who look kind of different from each other.

This is a classic, and it will usually make them laugh. However, it can sometimes fall flat after they chuckle, so make sure you have something ready to follow up with.

This one works very well because it puts the girl on the spot and gets her frustrated. You can then release the pressure by nudging her and laughing or saying, “Wow, you’re really cute when you’re mad.” You want to fire the questions in quick succession without giving her much time to think or answer fully.

This is a variation on saying you’re either gay or have a girlfriend. I think this one is better, though, because most people don’t want to mislead a girl into thinking they’re gay or have a girlfriend—and saying
both
suggests that neither is true. It’s also confusing, of course—but her subconscious will get that you’re actually saying, “Be mine.”

How the hell do you approach a big group who are waiting in the street or sitting at a table in a bar/club? In this way: talk about how the traffic was terrible; you’re Paul’s cousin, or bob’s nephew—whatever. It’s funny. When you get caught out, don’t dwell on it. Ask some names and find out what’s going on; then proceed as normal.

This is a good direct line to use on a girl who looks bored. Most guys go in with, “You look bored.” That’s never going to work, but this variation is a nice direct compliment.

Remember to deliver the first line deadpan and the second line with a big smile. She’ll probably give you a punch to the arm. Don’t worry: this means the opener worked and she likes you.

Opinion openers, a subcategory of indirect openers, are the easiest way for a newbie to start a conversation in a quiet club or bar. They’re good in that they can get a long conversation started pretty easily. A well-crafted opinion opener can guarantee you a few minutes of conversation in which to make a connection.

You’ve got two delivery options: you can either make it seem spontaneous or “root” it. A spontaneous opinion opener comes from reacting to something your friend supposedly said and simply asking whoever is nearest—who just happen to be a pair of hot chicks!—what
they
think. Rooting the opener means that you tell them the reason you’re asking, so that they know why they’re spending their time giving you their advice.

All of the examples below include roots, but remember that you can always go the spontaneous route if the situation calls for it.

Here’s how you might deliver this one: “You look like you can help me with something. My friend is coming in an hour and he needs my advice. He’s known his girlfriend for three months and he’s going to ask her to marry him tomorrow. He says he wants my advice, but I think he’s already made his mind up. I think it’s too soon, but if I tell him that he might never talk to me again. On the other hand, if I say it’s a good idea and it doesn’t work out, I’ll feel responsible. So what do you guys think, how soon is too soon to get engaged?”

This is a fantastic opener that leads straight into relationship talk and has a lot of drama built in. It should hook very well.

“Hey, I need your advice on something. My best friend had to rush away on business—he’s got the biggest business deal of his life going—and he’s asked me a massive favor. He’s given me two hundred dollars and asked me to get a present for his girlfriend. He’s done so much for me over the years, so I said I’d take care of it. I really want to get it right. I’ve been giving it some thought, but I’m pretty stuck. Do you have any ideas?”

This is a great one for daytime, in malls and stores, but it can also be used at night. It’s very flexible and also very engaging because it hits a great topic—shopping and gifts!

Picture this conversation:

You:
Hey, guys, let me get your opinion on something. I’m trying to give my friend over there advice, but we’re just a bunch of guys and don’t feel qualified to comment on these matters. Okay, well, my friend has been dating a girl for three months, and she just moved in with him. Now, this is a two-part question. Here’s the first part. So, imagine you’ve been dating someone for three months and he’s still friends with his old girlfriend from college. How do you feel about that?

Girls:
That depends. Are they just friends?

You:
Yes, they’re
just
friends. There’s nothing else going on. They talk like once a week at most.

Girls:
I think it’s fine./I don’t think they should be talking. / Whatever.

You:
Okay, now let’s say that he has a drawer in his apartment. And in that drawer he keeps all of his old photographs and letters. Now, some of those letters happen to be from exes and some of the photographs happen to be with exes.

Girls:
Blah, blah, blah—concerned comment—blah, blah, blah—question.

You:
It’s not like he ever looks at them. They’re just there, like old souvenirs and memories of his past.

Girls:
I think it’s fine. / I think he should destroy them. / Whatever.

I deliver this one as follows: “Hey, gals, what do you think of piercings? My ex-girlfriend was a bit of a rocker chick, and she always used to say, ‘You should get a piercing
here
.’
(Pinch eyebrow to show where it would go.)
I’m not going out with her anymore, but I’m still kind of considering it. Do you think piercings are sexy?”

This one goes into various areas of male attractiveness and exactly what women consider attractive in a man.

This one is a killer. It never seems to fail. The root could be that a guy just tried to pick you up, or your friend said you look gay in those shoes/that shirt, or you were at the bar (doesn’t even have to be that night) and you got hit on by a guy. They’ll laugh, and it just works like a charm.

The follow-up (planting the root) is to say that you’ve been studying magic/psychic stuff/ESP or whatever, and that you wondered whether it was these guys’ looks or their abilities that made them sexy to some women. It leads into any skill you profess to have, or any routine you can perform, in these areas.

Follow with, “Me too,” or “I didn’t either, but then …” and go into a story about a relative who does it for a living and showed you some stuff. “I was skeptical, but I brought my friend along and they got everything right. I’m not entirely sold, but I’ve been learning it a bit and want to see if it’s a way to get to know people better, more quickly.” This is a nice way to open and lead into one of these areas in a smooth way.

Some opinion openers have more “walk-up strength” than others. If you have three girls sitting in the corner and need to go to them to make an approach, it’d seem strange to go out of your way only to ask if they think you look gay. That question, more spontaneous-seeming, lends itself to someone right nearby. However, using “How soon is too soon …?” would work very well in that circumstance. Generally, you need a more serious opener for a walk-up.

Is it lying to use these openers? I certainly don’t see it that way. First, if you have something from your life that would work as a real opinion opener, then feel free to use it; it’ll work well as long as it follows the format of the above. My feeling on using these openers is that it’s okay to have an “excuse” to talk to women—and I’ve met so many amazing women from doing just that. We don’t have many real reasons to talk to women. We know what time the club closes, which bars are good, and what time it is, so why not use an excuse to talk to them that’s likely to lead to a good, genuine conversation?