The Natural: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want (13 page)

The drawbacks of direct game are:

  It requires a high degree of personal and sexual confidence in order to be successful.

  It generates more approach anxiety by putting you on the line and adding pressure to the interaction.

  You may be rejected from a group that would have been receptive to a slower, more subtle approach.

  Women generally need more time to warm up to a potential partner than guys do, and they consider the first impression to be less important than do men.

Indirect game is basically coming in under the radar, getting the girl comfortable with you, and slowly introducing the sexual vibe. The benefits of an indirect approach are:

  It reduces approach anxiety by minimizing the chance of getting rejected.

  It’s easier with a group, which may take some time to “infiltrate.”

  It involves more and longer interactions, which allow you to get comfortable talking to women and to practice your conversational skills.

The drawbacks of an indirect approach are:

  Sometimes she wants you and you lose her because she doesn’t think you’re interested.

  You can waste time on a girl you have no chance with (she’ll never find you attractive, she’s engaged, she’s a lesbian), and you don’t find out until late in the interaction because she thinks you’re just being friendly.

I suggest you use direct game when you’re getting a clear sign of interest. If you’re not quite sure, take the indirect route. I also suggest that your approaches remain indirect until you have a lot of experience in reading situations and have overcome approach anxiety. If I have a client who has a huge fear of talking to women, I’ll ensure that his first few approaches are spent doing things like asking for directions—which is as indirect as you can get.

In a club or bar environment, if you limit yourself to cold approaches you’re making things difficult for yourself. There are plenty of opportunities around you at all times to help create easier interactions.

One of the simplest and least obtrusive things you can do is simply take advantage of cues and lead-ins that women give you inadvertently. Consider these options:

  A women stepping on your foot: “Hey, watch it punk!”
(Square up to her with a smirk.)
“Let’s take this outside; let me see what you’ve got!”
(Flex your upper arm and point for her to do likewise—then feel her muscle.)

  A women squeezing past with drinks: “Cheers!”