The Natural: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want (31 page)

I
t’s the moment every guy dreads—actually putting your chips on the table and going for
it
. In some situations, this will mean going for a number; in others, it will mean going for a kiss right on the spot; and in still others, it will mean getting the girl back to your place for a night of fun. In the pages that follow I share with you strategies and tactics for all three of these situations so that when it’s time to make your move, you’ll know exactly what to do, and how to do it.

We begin with the first type of close: the number close.

Going for a phone number is a high-pressure moment for most guys—they don’t know when to do it, and they don’t know whether the girl will give it to them or reject them. Even after getting a number, it can be difficult to convert it into a date or another meeting. I used to have pretty good conversations and then not ask for the number, either because I’d feel insecure about revealing that it was indeed a pickup attempt, or because I’d be afraid she’d say no. But it’s an essential skill to learn, and it becomes easy if you do it smoothly and repeatedly. Here’s what to do.

Most guys make the mistake of making small talk for a period of time and then just coming out and asking for a number. This is wrong. A connection can be built quickly just on small talk, but it usually takes a lot longer. Keep in mind that the conversation needs to be directed toward the goal at all times.

A conversation aimed at getting a beautiful woman’s phone number needs to be based around connections and common interests:

  How does she spend her time? What does she do when she isn’t working?

  What foods does she like?

  What places does she like to go to in the evening? Is she a party girl?

  Does she like the arts?

  Is there something she would like to do but hasn’t yet tried (e.g., a salsa class)?

These are some basic common-interest questions that could lead to a possible connection. Think up your own, some in advance and some on the fly; there are hundreds of possible alternatives.

Taking two opposite examples, let me show you how to lead into a number close from a general conversation:

You:
What places do you like to go in the evening?

Her:
I like Club/Bar X.

You:
Cool, it’s good there. Have you ever been to Club Y?

Her:
Not so far.

You:
Well, some friends and I are going there on Friday. You should come.

Her:
Yeah, okay.

You:
Excellent. What’s your number?

Or…

You:
What do you like to do when you’re not working?

Her:
I like to go to the theater/museums/ballet/rock concerts.

You:
Have you been to that new show/exhibition/whatever?

Her:
No.

You:
Me neither. We should go.

Her:
Okay, sure.

You:
Great, give me your number.

Tip:
Never ask for a number directly; it should flow naturally. The close should be assumed.

Finally, most guys get at least occasional numbers that “flake.” This is when you get a number but when you go to call her, it’s either fake or she doesn’t pick up. To help minimize what I call “flakeage,” try this:

Ask her if you can enter your number in
her
phone too. Have a connection or something you can do together, as described above. And most important, arrange a date there and then. If you’ve already arranged a date, she can be thinking about it when you call. Apply these tips, and all your good interactions should end in solid number closes.

Simple Lines for a Number Close

How about if you can’t find a connection, don’t have time to, or for some other reason just don’t have a conversation like the above? You can use the following universal technique:

You:
It’s been great speaking with you. We should continue this some time.

Her:
Sure.

You
(handing her your phone):
Okay, put your number in there and we’ll arrange something in a few days.

Or…

You:
Listen, I need to go and meet my friends, but what’s the best way to keep in touch with you?

Her:
You can take my number/add me on Facebook/email me.

Knowing how strong or gentle and how fast or slow to move after you’ve made a connection with a new woman is all part of the natural seducer’s learning curve. This applies to when you’re with her in person or on the phone, to your method of closing, and also to your proposition for the first date or meeting after getting the number.

If you’re with a girl and ask her to meet you for an intimate romantic dinner and then come back to your house for wine, you’re putting a lot of pressure on her. She’d better like you a lot! If you’re suggesting that she go out to a cool party with all her friends—and you—there isn’t so much pressure. Bear in mind what you’re asking the girl to do. If you meet her for ten minutes and then suggest that you go on a date/for dinner/to the movies/for a drink, she’ll go home, think about it, and talk to her friends; and she could easily change her mind and flake. “Will it pass the friends test?” is a good guideline to use when suggesting a meet-up. Will her friends say, “What? You met some guy for five minutes in Starbucks and now you’re meeting him alone in a bar? He’ll probably spike your drink and rape you.”

You’ll need a good connection so that she’s sure enough of you, feels safe around you, and is also attracted and intrigued. The easiest possible number close would be to invite the girl to a nice club or party with her friends, which may even pass the annoying friends test.

Use low-pressure closes when you aren’t so sure about the solidness of the set. Use higher-pressure closes when it’s really on—when you don’t want to beat around the bush and neither does she. The personality type of the girl will be a major factor: if she’s indecisive and easily led by her friends, then she’s much more potentially flaky, and a low-pressure closing will work better.

Objection Handling

Now is a good time to mention dealing with objections women might have. This subject is almost big enough to warrant its own section, so pay attention! The situation: she’s tipsy, you meet in a bar, you have a great time. Easy to see her again? Not always. The problem is, she’s going to go home, talk to her friends, and be distracted by all the other guys chasing her. You can easily turn into “the dude I met when I was drunk,” even though you might have made the most incredible connection of all time. You can be thinking she’ll fall in love with you, but she’ll flake!