The Natural: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want (33 page)

3. Sometimes, even with no work on your part, she’ll want you. When a girl wants to kiss you:

  She squeezes your hand.

  She looks at your lips.

  She touches your chest instead of your arm.

  She’s comfortable with hard eye contact even when no one is speaking.

I believe that every girl is persuadable. I’m not going to use the term one-night stand in this discussion, because you may very well see her again, but I will say same-night sex—in other words, sleeping with the girl the night you meet her. Personally, I always try to sleep with the girl as quickly as possible, even if I’m aiming for a real relationship, because in my experience, it makes things so much easier once it’s out of the way. There, I said it!

Sometimes you meet and feel a strong sexual vibe. If you took that particular girl’s number and agreed to meet another time, that spark might be gone. I’ve had my best experiences when things seemed just perfect on the first night I met a girl. If you want a casual relationship, sleeping with her before she knows you well enough to become emotionally attached is the right policy. If you want something deeper, sleeping with her quickly so that you can both become more relaxed with each other is also the right policy.

Remember, I’m a pickup artist. I’m not grabbing a jaded, drunk chick off the dance floor at 2:00
A.M.
; I’m meeting a beautiful girl, usually the best in the club—and partway through the night I’m getting to know her, then (usually!) taking her home later. This means we can create a romantic, intimate, passionate experience. I love romance, a perfect Hollywood moment; I don’t like quick sex in the bathroom. And I think you can get this on the same night you’ve met if you’re both pretty sober and have more than just a physical connection. I’ve done everything from twenty minutes street-to-house with a super-hot model (the hottest girl I ever slept with) to a ten-hour seduction marathon filled with objections from a virgin. (I wasn’t being a bastard, and she eventually became my girlfriend!) The bottom line is that there are different types of same-night sex, and it generally depends on the girl.

So what kind of girls tend to be interested in same-night sex? There’s a surprisingly wide range, from “ready to go” girls, to “just this once” girls, to girls who protest, “I’m not that kind of girl.” Each kind of girl requires a different response from you.

Safe Sex

I always have condoms in my house and with me at all times when I go out. Over the years, I’ve come to learn two things about safe sex (and why it’s important):

  If a girl would sleep with you with no condom, then she’d do it with other guys—and probably has.

  STDs (a.k.a. sexually transmitted diseases) are serious business. Maybe you’ve caught something before and gotten better after being treated, so you think STDs are no big deal. But some STDs are incurable and can literally ruin your life. Plus, how confident can you be when you’re walking around with a rash or sores on your penis? Google herpes (click on the images if you dare), and I’m sure you’ll never go out without condoms again.

There are some girls who have same-night sex often, and with lots of different guys—in effect, one-night stands. These girls are not only open to same-night sex; they want it. What appeals to this type of woman is a dominant man who looks like he can take care of her sexual needs and desires. If you want to be that guy, you should make outward displays of confidence, approach directly, and escalate smoothly from touching to kissing, telling her what you want to do with her, etc. With this girl, you can simply lead her out of the club and there won’t be many, if any, questions asked about what’s going on. “Grab your jacket,” you can announce, “and let’s get out of here!”

Other girls may have gone along with same-night sex a few times before, but it isn’t something they’re automatically agreeable to or normally into. They’re not sluts and they don’t want to be treated as such. Still, they enjoy sex and aren’t prudish.

These girls need more than the physical, however, and will reject you if that’s all that’s on offer. You can give them a taste of sexuality, but you should also slow down to show that you have self-control and take the time to get to know each other.

This type of woman needs to feel that Hollywood moment; she needs to feel like she has really met a fantastic guy. Stare into her eyes in a loving way; find out stuff about her and connect on it. Then show her that you’re becoming more and more attracted to her as you find out more and more about her. Even as you’re connecting with her on an emotional level, however, you can be conveying sexual tension in the way you look at her. In summary, turn her on intellectually, emotionally, and physically.

Often, you’ll need a reason for this girl to come home with you—hearing you play a song, seeing some photographs you took on a recent trip to someplace she wants to visit, or your cute little dog. Try telling her simply, “Let’s go somewhere else,” and then, if and when she asks where, you can say, “I want to show you something.” Head for your place, though, even while you’re talking. If she objects to where you’re taking her, you can say, “Well, you can’t stay long, because I need to wake up early,” and then quickly change the subject.
Do not engage in logical debate
. Keep leading her and then change the subject.

If she objects to you verbally but still consents physically (for example, she says she shouldn’t go back with you but is still walking hand in hand), it’s usually a token objection and can be quickly dealt with.

If she objects to you physically and verbally,
immediately stop
what you’re doing! She is not going to go home with you or do anything with you—and you need to respect her and stop it there! Learn this important point. Women sometimes like to playfully object and wrestle with you if they want to be controlled. This can make it difficult and confusing for men, because sometimes women really
mean
their resistance, in which case there’s the
very real potential for rape
. If you make sure you’re respecting your date at all times, everything will work out fine.

The third type of girl is the one that’s not very sexual and will always react in horror at the thought of a “dirty” one-night stand or of sleeping with a guy so quickly. Connect with her on an emotional level first. Introduce a tiny bit of sexual tension, but just enough to generate attraction and to avoid being thought of as merely a friend.

Getting her back to the house won’t be too difficult, because you’ll generate trust and you
won’t kiss her
before you get there. After you’ve connected with her on all levels, suggest going somewhere more quiet, more comfortable, where the drinks are cheaper, to chat some more—whatever. You need to talk about future plans with this girl, things you can do together. If there are any objections, you should manage to get around them with, “I want to show you where I live. Anyway…”