The Multi-Orgasmic Couple: Sexual Secrets Every Couple Should Know (19 page)

I Don
’
t Feel My Sexual Energy
We have suggested that you do the Orgasmic Upward Draw when your sexual energy is not too aroused. The hotter it is, the more difficult it is to control. For men, this means that they are more likely to ejaculate, losing the energy they are trying to draw up. However, if you do not feel enough sexual energy, arouse yourself 50 to 70 percent of the way to orgasm. Women, and men who have learned to separate orgasm from ejaculation, can arouse themselves all the way to orgasm and still draw the energy up to their brain. When you are about to orgasm or are orgasming, stop and do the Orgasmic Upward Draw three to nine times, or until the orgasmic feeling moves upward.

I Can
’
t Raise the Energy up My Spine
If you are having problems drawing the energy up your spine, you can help the energy rise by using your spine’s natural pumps. Your cerebrospinal fluid bathes the brain and spine. Pumps at your sacrum (the back of your pelvis) and the base of the skull help this fluid circulate and can also help you draw energy up your spine. These pumps, which are used by osteopathic physicians today, were well known to the ancient Taoists. You can do the following exercises standing or sitting.

Exer cise 15

PUMPING THE ENERGY UP

1. ROCK YOUR PELVIS: Activate your sacral pump by squeezing your anus up toward your tailbone and rocking your pelvis back and forth as if you are riding a horse.
   

2. DRAW IN YOUR CHIN: Activate your cranial pump (at the base of your skull) by drawing your chin in and up and then back out in a soft gentle circle. Keep the jaw and neck muscles relaxed.
   

3. DRAW THE ENERGY UP YOUR SPINE: After activating the sacral and cranial pumps, rest and begin drawing the energy up your spine into your brain. Looking up with your eyes toward the top of your head will also help direct the energy up to the crown of your head. Repeatedly activate these pumps until you feel the energy move up.
   

My Back Hurts
It is sometimes a little difficult to draw the energy into the base of the spine, and some people experience a little pain, tingling, or pins and needles when this energy first enters their spine. If this happens to you, do not be alarmed. You can help pass the energy through by gently massaging the area with your fingers.

My Eyes Hurt
When you roll your eyes around to circulate the energy, you may find your eye muscles ache or your head aches. This is a typical sign of sore muscles (we rarely use our eye muscles deliberately) and is nothing to worry about. If this problem persists, roll your eyes less and use more mental focus to circulate the energy.

My Head Hurts
If your head hurts, you feel wired, or you are having difficulty sleeping, you may be leaving too much stagnant energy in your head. The energy can overheat if it stays in one place—a problem that can be eas-ily solved by keeping the energy moving. Make sure to circulate the energy in your head nine, eighteen, or thirty-six times in one direction and then the other. Once you have circled the energy in your head, let it flow down the front of your body.

Sacral and Cranial Pumps—you can help your energy rise by rocking your pelvis and drawing your chin in.

What If I Can’t Bring the Energy Down?
Sometimes people who spend a lot of time “in their head” find they have a difficult time bringing the energy down. As a result, they may find they have difficulty sleeping or find that they are a little wired by this additional energy, as if they had too much caffeine. Remember the brain is excellent for transforming and using energy, but it is not very good for storing energy. It is best to bring the excess energy down to your abdomen. The following exercise will help.

Exer cise 16

BRINGING ENERGY DOWN

1. HANDS ON ABDOMEN: Place your hands on your abdomen.
   

2. TONGUE TO FRONT OF PALATE: Touch your tongue to the front of your palate, as shown on p. 70.
   

3. SMILE: Smile, gently curving your lips up and smiling with the corners of your eyes.
   

4. RELAX: Relax your body, and release any tension or blockages you may feel.
   

5. FOCUS ON YOUR ABDOMEN: Bring your attention down to your navel (remember the energy will follow your focus).
   

6. BRING THE ENERGY DOWN: Imagine the energy descending down the front of your body like a waterfall and pooling in your abdomen. Cup your left hand within your right just below your belly button, as if you were catching the waterfall of energy. Alternatively, imagine the energy is like molasses or honey being drawn down and wound around a spiral at your belly button.
   

7. SWALLOW YOUR SALIVA: Swallowing your saliva can also help you draw the energy down.
   

If you are still having problems bringing the energy down, you can use Exercise 17:
Venting, on p. 88
.

I Am Feeling Angry and Irritable
In addition to amplifying anger that you may already have, the new energy can also cause you to overheat and develop negative emotions, such as anger or impatience, if you are not circulating the energy enough. In this case try to focus on recycling the anger and negative emotions into loving-kindness (see Exercise 24: Recycling Our
Negative Emotions, on p. 163
). It is also very important to remember to smile

and to bring the energy down. If you find you are prone to feel certain negative emotions, you can cultivate these emotions and recycle this energy by following the Six Healing Sounds in Mantak Chia’s
Taoist Secrets for Transforming Stress into Vitality.

OTHER SIDE EFFECTS

Very rarely a person may experience excess energy stuck in the upper body. Symptoms of this vary from person to person but may include insomnia, a ringing in the ears, heart palpitations, or tension headaches that persist for several days. If you have any of these symptoms, immediately stop the practice and do the Venting exercise. If they persist, contact a Universal Tao instructor (see the Resources) or acupuncturist. Most Western doctors will not be able to correctly diagnose or treat the problem since they are not trained to understand the movement of energy in the body and its physical effects. It is worth mentioning that the problems are not caused by circulating your sexual energy but by preexisting emotional and physical tensions trapped in the upper body. The sexual energy simply amplifies these existing problems, which is why it is essential for you to address these underlying issues before advancing further with your sexual practice.

ABSORBING THE ENERGY

After each time that you practice the Orgasmic Upward Draw, you may wish to massage your genital area gently to help absorb any sexual energy that did not get drawn up. This will reduce any feelings of congestion or fullness in this part of your body. Men in particular often experience pressure in their testicles when they begin or if they have not circulated all of their sexual energy. Gently rubbing their testicles between their thumb and fingers as well as massaging their perineum and tailbone will help relieve these feelings of fullness. If you feel the energy is getting stuck anywhere in your body, you can help it keep moving and get absorbed by stroking or massaging the area. After a month or more of practice, you may find that you feel some pressure in your head, which is a result of the increased energy in your body. This is a sign of progress, that your body has more energy than before. Most peo-ple experience this as pleasurable tingling. However, if this additional energy grows uncomfortable, make sure that you are bringing it down to your abdomen. Physical exercise, massaging your feet, and a heavy grain diet can all help to ground the energy. Having an orgasm without circulating the

energy and, for men, ejaculating will also help reduce this energy.

With this energy, however, you will find that you need less sleep and have more energy for your life, for your relationship, and for cultivating your physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual life, which was the true goal of the Tao and the true gift of Healing Love.

Exer cise 17

VENTING

1. Sit in a chair or lie down on your back. If lying down, elevate your knees with a pillow if you feel any pain in the small of your back or lumbar area.
   

2. Place your hands in front of your mouth so that the tips of your
   fi
   ngers touch and so that your palms are facing toward your feet.
   

3. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Feel your stomach and chest expand gently.
   

4. Smile and exhale quietly, making the sound
   heeeeee.
   As you are exhaling, push your hands toward your feet. Picture your body as a hollow tube of blue light that you are emptying with your hands from your head down past your chest and your abdomen, through your legs and out the soles of your feet.
   

5. Repeat the sound and movement three, six, or nine times. If you are still having a problem venting your energy, contact a Universal Tao instructor (see the Resources) or an acupuncturist.
   

Understanding the Power of Your Sexual Energy

It is vital that you understand how powerful your sexual energy is and how important it is to cultivate and refine it. Because it is so important we will mention several times throughout the book that expanding your sexual energy will simply expand whatever energy and emotions you have in your body—positive or negative. If you feel love, expanding your sexual energy will expand this love. However, if you feel anger or even hate, expanding your sexual energy will expand these emotions as well.

This is no doubt a major reason why the techniques for expanding our sex-ual energy were closely guarded secrets and why so many religions have been