The Multi-Orgasmic Couple: Sexual Secrets Every Couple Should Know (10 page)

As we grow older the strength of the
PC
muscle decreases unless it is regularly exercised. If a woman has had several vaginal births, the muscle is further weakened. This is why many women start to have difficulty holding in their urine in their fifties, sixties, and seventies. Strengthening this muscle is an important part of maintaining our general health as well as realizing our sexual potential.

STRENGTHENING YOUR PC MUSCLE

Learning how to contract your
PC
muscle can sometimes be a challenge. The next time you need to urinate, stop the urine stream and then start it again several times as you empty your bladder. It is your
PC
muscle that you are contracting in order to do this. The sensation should be that you are pulling your urethra and vaginal area up slightly into your body.

If you are not able to stop the stream of urine, your
PC
muscle is weak. Do not be concerned, for like any muscle in the body, your
PC
muscle can be strengthened with regular exercise. (If you find that you sometimes have difficulty holding in your urine, particularly when coughing, sneezing, or laughing, or you find that you just cannot make it to the toilet in time, there may be other anatomical problems that you should discuss with your physician. Kegel exercises are still highly recommended for this problem, but it would be wise to seek your physician’s advice.)

Some women find themselves pushing down instead of pulling up when they initially start to do
PC
muscle strengthening. It is important that you become familiar enough with what it feels like to lift and squeeze your
PC
muscle. These exercises do not require that you use your abdominal muscles. In fact, the exercises work much better if the rest of your muscles are relaxed. When first learning these exercises, it’s very helpful to have something to contract your
PC
muscle against (e.g., a finger or a dildo). The resistance will

allow you to squeeze with more strength.

As we grow older the strength of the
PC
muscle decreases unless it is regularly exercised.

Exer cise 10

VAGINAL SQUEEZES

1. Lie down or sit down on the edge of a chair or on the toilet and insert two lubricated fingers into your vagina.
   

2. Squeeze your
   PC
   muscle around your fingers. You should feel a slight contraction of the walls of your vagina, approximately one inch from the entrance of your vagina.
   

3. Spread your fingers apart, as when making a peace sign. Contract the muscle again and see if you can bring your fingers together. If you can-not, your
   PC
   requires further strengthening.
   

Once you get the hang of how to contract your
PC
muscle, exercising it is fairly simple and easy to do. There are many different techniques for exercising the
PC
muscle with varying lengths of contraction and repetitions. A com-mon recommendation is to contract the muscle and hold it for ten seconds and then release. If you are unable to hold it that long, hold it as long as you can and then release. You may want to start doing this ten times and work up to doing it fifty times three times a day.

Finding the W ay

Ring Muscles

The traditional Taoist technique for exercising the
pc
muscle is extremely helpful. It uses the Taoist awareness that all circular muscles of the body (around the eyes, mouth, urethra, vagina, and anus) are connected. By squeezing the muscles around your eyes and mouth it is possible to increase the force of your
pc
exercises. Contracting the muscles around your eyes involves simply squinting, and contracting the muscles of your mouth involves simply sucking, like a baby nurses. It is also helpful to squeeze the
pc
muscle on exhalation, as it helps you relax the rest of your muscles and isolate the
pc
.

It may also be of use to do
PC
exercises against a dildo or your partner’s penis. You may find that contracting your
PC
muscle during lovemaking increases your arousal remarkably. Contracting your
PC
muscle increases the sexual energy in your pelvic region and spreads a warm flush of arousal throughout your body. Contracting against a penis or dildo as it is withdrawn from your vagina can be extremely stimulating, as it creates suction against the vaginal walls. You may want to experiment with what feels best for you.

As your muscle gets stronger and stronger, your lover will certainly be able to appreciate the increased contractions against his penis during lovemaking. Most men find this extremely arousing. The Taoists strongly recommended that a woman squeeze around
the shaft
of the man’s penis, which will invigorate his whole body (see chapter 5) and allow him to experience very high levels of pleasure without ejaculating. This technique can also prolong the amount of time you can make love and increase both of your chances to become multi-orgasmic.

Exer cise 11

PC PULL-UPS

1. INHALE AND CONCENTRATE: Inhale and concentrate on your vagina.
   

2. EXHALE AND CONTRACT: As you exhale, contract your
   PC
   muscle.
   

3. INHALE AND RELAX: Inhale and relax your muscles.
   

4. REPEAT
   —
   EXHALE/CONTRACT AND INHALE/RELAX: Continue contracting your muscles as you exhale and releasing them as you inhale. Contract and release with your breathing, starting with eighteen times at
   fi
   rst, and then working up to thirty-six times or more. (After each set of eighteen, rest before continuing.)
   

5. CONTRACT AS LONG AS YOU CAN: Now repeat the exercise, but this time on each exhalation contract your
   PC
   muscle as long as you can and then release. Do nine long contractions, and then rest before doing another set.
   

One of the results of doing
PC
muscle exercises is that they may arouse sex-ual energy in you no matter where you are. This can certainly add zing to a boring business meeting! If you can simply enjoy the warm energy, that is fine. However, some women find the increased sexual energy distracting. If this is the case for you, you will need to learn the exercises in chapter 3 that show you how to channel this energy up to the brain in order to increase your energy level and concentration.

Contrary to popular belief, currently only 15 to 25 percent of women are multiply orgasmic.

Becoming Multi-Orgasmic

Women have the capacity for virtually inexhaustible sexual pleasure. Yet while all women have the capacity to have multiple orgasms, many do not experience them or do not experience them regularly. Why do some women have them while others do not? Why does the same woman have them sometimes and not other times? Certainly many women who didn’t think that they could have multiple orgasms have discovered that they could as they have had new sexual experiences and new partners or have become more sexually experienced.

In Alfred Kinsey’s famous studies of sexuality in the 1950s, only approximately 14 percent of women were multi-orgasmic. By 1970 the number of multi-orgasmic women had increased to only 16 percent.
10
And even today far fewer women are multi-orgasmic than one might expect. Contrary to popular belief, currently only 15 to 25 percent of women are multiply orgasmic.
11
Recently an anonymous questionnaire was sent out to 805 college-educated female nurses, which showed that a surprising 43 percent of the respondents had experienced multiple orgasms.
12
So how did these women