Living With Regret
Other Books by Riann C. Miller
Living with Regret
By
Riann C. Miller
Living With Regret
Copyright © 2016 Riann C. Miller
Editing by Edee M. Fallon
Cover Design, Formatting and interior design by Jersey Girl & Co.
All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products, bands, and/ or restaurants referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/ use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
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Unlikely Love
Beneath The Lies
Living With Regret
Sometimes the simplest choice has the power to change your life.
Chase
Ten years ago, I turned a hard decision into a simple one. I allowed others to decide my future ...then I lost the best thing that ever happened to me. I let go of the girl I loved in exchange for a life I was told I wanted.
Then one day I woke up with no recollection of my reality and instead I believed my life had turned out how I had once dared to imagine. Now everyone is waiting for me to remember the day I ruined my future as I struggle to recall a life without the person I so carelessly tossed away.
Somehow, I was gifted a second chance with the woman I love, and I’m going to fight like hell to keep her.
Jordan
Your brain has a funny way of convincing you what is real and what is not; even if your heart never lets you forget the truth. After Chase Adams broke my heart, my life moved forward, even though the light I once felt had extinguished. Then I received an unexpected phone call that changed everything.
Every day we make choices, but most of the time they don’t affect the rest of our lives. I wanted to love again. I wanted to trust the gift I was given, but every choice has consequences. Now I have to decide to let go of the past for the sake of my future ...or risk living with regret.
JORDAN
I woke up already knowing my life is about to change, and I couldn’t be happier. I met my boyfriend Chase Adams when I first moved to Oak Cove, Florida almost two years ago. Once he broke down every wall I had built around my heart, we became inseparable.
In this part of the world, Chase is a legend. There isn’t a person within a hundred miles that doesn’t know and love him. More importantly, everyone is banking on the day that Chase’s talent as a quarterback takes him all the way to the NFL. For me, none of this matters because I know the person that Chase keeps hidden from the rest of the world, the one that could do almost anything with his life.
I grew up a military brat, moving from one Army base to the next. After my father retired, we moved to Oak Cove to live near my grandparents. For the first time in my life, I knew I would be staying somewhere long enough to invest in friendships. What I wasn’t expecting was to be the center of attention. New students at Oak Cove High are few and far between. When I first moved here, it felt like everyone was seeking my attention in one form or another.
When Chase first made his intentions clear—that I was going to be his—I blew him off like I had everyone else. I didn’t need or want a boyfriend, let alone the local hero. However, Chase didn’t take no for an answer. Annoying as it was, he followed me around until I finally broke down and agreed to go on a date with him. That night changed my life. Away from everyone else, Chase isn’t a football legend. He’s just a beautiful person both inside and out, and I knew after only being around him for a few hours that I would be stupid not to give him a real chance.
Tonight is a warm late-July evening, almost seven weeks after we graduated high school. More importantly, it’s the night before Chase leaves for Ohio State. This morning, right before I snuck out of his parents’ house, he asked me to meet him at our park.
Halfway between my house and Chase’s is Cove Park. The two of us have been meeting here since the night of our first date. This place is ours. This is the place I want to bring our children to one day because it was here that I first discovered I was in love with Chase.
Tonight, though, I have butterflies in my stomach at the idea of meeting him. My mother and friends have convinced me that Chase asked me here to propose. We’ve talked about marriage, about making our future official, but knowing we’re about to take that leap is still scary ...in the best possible way.
When I arrive at the park, Chase is sitting at the picnic table with his feet on the bench, nervously tapping away. His arms are resting on his knees and his face is pointed down.
As I get a little closer, he whips his beautiful face up towards mine and I instantly know something’s not right. His shoulders sag, his eyes look worried, and his smile is forlorn. Whatever is going on, he doesn’t seem like a guy that’s about to propose.
When I get close enough, I reach out to grab his hand. “What’s wrong?” I question as his eyes flash with some unknown emotion before he jumps to his feet while reaching out for me. “Chase? What’s going on?” I ask again as my hands begin to tremble.
He slowly closes his eyes, almost as if he’s in pain, before opening them and sighing. He pauses and carefully watches me before he shatters my world. “This isn’t going to work. I mean—you and me—being together. I think ...I think it’s best for both of us if ...we go our own way.”
My mouth drops open as all the air escapes my lungs. This is a joke. It has to be a sick and twisted joke. But when I look at him again, I can tell ...I can tell it’s not.
I take a deep breath and step away from him as my thoughts run rampant. The one thing that stands out the most is: This isn’t my Chase. My Chase is strong, dominant, and possessive enough that he would never toss me to the side while he moved on with his life. This is his parents talking. They’ve never accepted our relationship. As far as Steve Adams is concerned, I’m a distraction. Chase needs to focus on what’s important, which is his football career.
I could stand here and yell at him for breaking my heart, for not standing up for us, for not believing that together we could beat the odds, but I’m not going to. I can tell he’s already made up his mind and I’m not going to stoop so low that I have to beg him to take it back. It’s already too late. The damage is done.
“What was last night about?” I breathe out, trying my best to hold back my tears.
Last night, Chase had called, begging me to come over. His parents were out of town for the night and he wanted me to stay with him. I made up a story about staying with a friend then went to him.
Looking back, last night was different from any other night we had spent together. Chase and I have been having sex for over a year now, but last night he was beyond gentle. He showed me with his body that words weren’t necessary because I could tell with every brush of his lips how much he loves me. But now ...less than twenty-four hours later, he’s crushing my heart ...he’s crushing our future.
“Last night was a goodbye. I wanted us to have one more night filled with lasting memories,” he quickly says before turning his face away from mine.
I’m trying my hardest to be strong but I can’t hold my tears back any longer. “You don’t think I had the right to know what last night was about?” I allow the bitterness that’s filling my body to take control.
“If you had known last night then things would have gone very differently. I wanted ...no, I needed last night. God, I’m sorry. I know this is hurting you and I promised myself that I would never ever hurt you, but . . .” He trails off and turns his face as I brush my tears away and straighten my shoulders. Tonight isn’t going how I expected but I refuse to act weak. I refuse to give him and everyone else in this town something to gossip about. He wants a life without me, and like it or not, that’s exactly what I’m going to give him.