Living With Regret (4 page)

I’m so nervous I think it’s possible I could puke at any moment. While I’m trying to get myself under control, Chase places his hand on top of mine, causing my breathing to become labored. I bring my eyes back up to his.

“Thank you,” he says with a smile.

This right here is why I’m so nervous; it’s the way Chase is watching me. No one has ever looked at me with the type of passion I see in his eyes. I’m not sure what exactly Chase is expecting from me but I hope he knows I’m not the kind of girl that’s going to sleep with him.

“Thank you? For what?” I mumble.

Chase gives my hand a squeeze before answering me. “For tonight, because I already know it’s going to be the best night of my life.” He smiles at me one last time before starting his truck.

That was the first crack in the wall I’d built around my heart, a wall that I later learned didn’t stand a chance against the powerful determination of Chase Adams.

“Ms. Taylor, here’s your schedule for the day,” Silvia says from the chair across from mine.

“Thank you.” I think it’s possible I have the best PA known to man. I inherited Silvia when my grandfather retired, and I don’t know how I would’ve survived without her.

“Mr. Winters, the manager of the plant in Westwick, is waiting for your final approval before the new line can go into production.

“Also, you’re receiving about two calls a day from Mr. Brooks’s secretary requesting you accompany him to the annual art gala a week from Saturday.”

I sigh and roll my eyes. Geez ...his freaking secretary?

I think it’s safe to say the man will never learn. This is the exact reason why I broke up with the self-centered prick in the first place.

I casually dated Derek Brooks for almost six months last year. After having more conversations with his secretary then I ever did with him, I politely told him things between us weren’t working out, but he didn’t seem to care. Now, anytime he needs to appear at a red-carpet event and thinks he might be photographed, he calls me trying to score a date. I’m not about to go anywhere with the man if he’s not willing to pick up the damn phone and ask me himself.

“And finally, I’m sorry to bother you with this, but a woman has been calling the office multiple times a day requesting to speak with you. When she first informed me that her call regarded a personal matter, I told her she needed to contact you on your private number, but she hasn’t given up. I just want to double check that I should continue to refuse her calls.”

When I first filled the role as Natural Cosmetics’ CEO, I started receiving calls from people I’ve never heard of before hoping to gain something by being my friend. There were days when I didn’t get any work done because I was constantly answering or returning unnecessary calls. A few months with my new title and I gave Silvia a list of people that are allowed to call me. If they aren’t on that list, then they don’t make it past her. No exceptions ...until now.

“How long has she been calling?” I question.

Silvia sighs. “The last couple of days, usually three or four times per day.” That’s definitely persistent.

“Who did you say it was?”

“I didn’t, ma’am. The woman’s name is Donna Adams.” My entire body goes solid with tension as Silvia waits for my response.

I only know one Donna Adams and I can’t begin to imagine why she would be calling me. I exhale loudly. “Put her through the next time she calls, Silvia.”

“Yes, ma’am. Will that be all?”

“Yes.” Silvia picks up on the change in my mood but she’s smart enough to know I won’t talk to her about my personal problems. With a half-smile, she stands up and leaves.

Chase’s parents—Steve and Donna Adams—were never rude or mean to me, but they made their feelings about me dating their son apparent. I was a distraction he didn’t need. I was the girl that would single-handedly keep him from achieving his dream of playing professional football.

I hated how they viewed my role in Chase’s life, but even as a teenager, I knew they had their son’s best interest at heart. It wasn’t until they convinced Chase to crush any chance we had of a future together that I truly began to hate them.

In the last ten years, I’ve never once returned to Oak Cove. When I first moved to New York, my parents would visit me every few months, leaving me with no reason to make the trip down to Florida. Within a few years, my parents moved up north so they could be closer to me.

When it came to Chase, I allowed myself to suffer much longer than I should have. I was convinced after a certain amount of time he would come to his senses. I was waiting for him to call me—even though I told him not to—and tell me he made the biggest mistake of his life, but he never did. After six months of living in limbo, the only thing I had to show for myself was a semester of crappy grades.

With a new year and a new semester, I decided it was time for a new me. I purchased a new phone and number, deleted all of my social media accounts, and good, bad, or otherwise, started to live life again.

I would be lying if I said I never think of Chase Adams. There was a time when I would avoid going anywhere during football season if I thought someone might be watching a game he would be playing in. But that’s not the case anymore. Chase Adams is just a guy I dated in high school. He’s just a faint memory, and I hope like hell that Donna Adams doesn’t do or say anything to change that.

“I love coming out here with you,” Jordan says, staring up into my eyes.

“Yeah, well, I love going anywhere as long as you’re with me, baby,” I tell her, pulling her body even tighter against mine.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would find the girl I’d spend the rest of my life with while I was still in high school. I might be young, but I know Jordan is the girl I’m going to marry one day—hopefully soon.

“What do you think it will be like when we leave for school?”

“We’ll be fine. We love each other and that’s all that matters,” I firmly state. I hate having this conversation and lately it’s all Jordan talks about. For the next four years, the two of us will spend more time apart than we will together, but I have no doubt that we’ll be fine.

Will it be hard? Sure. Will I miss her like crazy? Absolutely. But I know we can weather the storm and come out a stronger couple in the end.

“Nothing and I mean nothing will keep us apart. I love you.” I turn Jordan’s head back towards me. When I see her beautiful but watery blue eyes, my heart speeds up even more.

I could name hundreds of things about Jordan that I love, but it’s the beauty below the surface that truly captured my heart. Other than her obvious good looks, I’m not sure why I was immediately drawn to her. But from the day I first set my eyes on her, I’ve undoubtedly wanted her in my life. And nothing, including going to separate colleges hundreds of miles apart, is going to keep me from the only person my heart plainly desires.

“I love you, too. I’ll love you forever.”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

My head is fucking killing me and I want that fucking beeping noise to stop. My eyes slowly open and I start to panic when I see that I’m in what looks like a hospital room.

The walls are crisp white, I have a machine attached to my arm, and I can see what looks like a clipboard at the end of the bed.

Fuck me
. I don’t remember what I did or what happened to land me here, but more importantly, I don’t know where everyone is.

I turn to the IV machine that’s attached to my arm and I push the help button. The fucking thing starts screaming, causing the pounding in my head to increase.

Oh God. Make it stop
. Someone please make that horrible noise stop. As that mantra continues in my head, I hear the sound abruptly stop, which causes me to slowly crack an eye. I first notice a woman, who appears to be a nurse, and then I spot my mother standing off to the side with a worried look sketched across her face.

“Hey, Ma,” I say with a scratchy throat. After hearing me talk, my mother’s face relaxes a little and she steps closer to my bed.

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” she asks in a soft but concerned voice.

“Like shit. My head hurts. Where is everyone else?” I ask while my eyes are still scanning the room.

“Oh, your father is off somewhere trying to flag down a specialist we were told about. He should be back soon.”

I’m trying my best to patiently wait for her to tell me about the person I was actually asking about but she remains silent. “Ma, where is she?”

Ma gives me a confused look before she appears to know whom I’m asking about. “Oh, the nurse? I’m sure she’ll be right back.” My mother isn’t one to beat around the bush.

“Cut the shit, Ma. You’re really starting to make me mad. Where the fuck is Jordan?” I snap out in a rather harsh tone.

My mom drops my hand and moves a few inches from the side of the bed. “Jordan? What—who—Jordan who, sweetie?” I close my eyes and take a deep breath, willing myself to relax. When I open them, I see my mother still carefully watching me.

“Ma, you know exactly who I’m talking about. Jordan. My wife.” This time, my mother jumps away from my bed like I’m on fire and she’s about to get burned.

My eyes narrow at her strange behavior. Between Ma acting weird and Jordan not being here, added to the fact that no one has told me what the fuck is going on, I’m at my breaking point.

“Get my wife and the fucking doctor NOW. I’m serious, Ma. I don’t know what game you’re playing or why but I’m done fucking playing it with you,” I growl out while my head feels like it’s about to explode.

“Sure. Yeah. I’ll just ...go . . .”

My mom takes off and out the door at a speed much faster than I’m used to seeing her move. I know something’s not right. For starters, I can’t remember what happened to land me in a fucking hospital, not to mention the fact that both Jordan and my dad are nowhere to be found.

Waking up to her beautiful face would have been nice, but I know since she’s not here then there must be a good reason. I just hope wherever she is, she gets here quick because I want her. No, scratch that ...I need her.