Living With Regret (5 page)

“Ms. Taylor, Mrs. Adams is on the phone for you. Shall I put her through?” I swallow and push down the nervous lump in my throat.

“Yes, Silvia, thank you.” My skin prickles as I watch the light on my phone flash. Ever since Silvia mentioned Donna has been calling, I’ve tried to think of every reason she would have to contact me, but I came up empty. I guess I’m finally about to find out.

Taking a deep breath, I push the flashing light.

“Good morning. This is Jordan Taylor, how can I help you?” I say in the most professional voice I can muster.

“Jordan? Um . . .” Donna pauses then clears her throat. “This is Donna Adams. Chase’s mother,” she nervously mumbles.

“Yes, Mrs. Adams, my PA informed me who was calling. I hate to be rude but I’m very busy. Could you please get straight to the reason you’re calling?”

If it weren’t for the light on my phone, I’d wonder if she hung up. The silence stretches for a few more seconds before she finally decides to speak up, only now her voice sounds weak.

“Chase is hurt.” I hear her sniffle. “He’s in the hospital and I was hoping you’d come to visit him.” Now I’m the silent one. I’m repeating what I think I heard her say over and over in my head but it doesn’t make sense.

“Chase is hurt?” I repeat.

“Yes.” My heart instantly sinks. No matter what life has dealt us, I never wanted anything bad to happen to him.

“Oh. I’m ...I’m very sorry to hear that, Mrs. Adams. I hope he gets well soon. Was there something else you needed?” I question because I’m still quite confused as to why she’s called me.

“Yes. I want you to come here and see him.” Donna’s tone was sharp, almost the tone a mother uses when she’s scorning her child.

“Mrs. Adams, I—”

“Donna.
Please call me Donna. You never called me Mrs. Adams before.”

Before
. She couldn’t have said that better. I did a lot of things differently ...
before
. “I called you by your first name ten years ago when I was dating your son because I felt comfortable around you and in your home. That is no longer the case. But it does make me wonder, Mrs. Adams, why in the world would you ask me of all people to visit Chase?”

The phone is silent again, however now I can hear her lightly breathing. “Mrs. Adams, I’m sorry—”

“PLEASE. I’m begging you. Please.” The desperation in her voice is clear, but I just can’t understand the reason behind it.

“You’re going to have to give me more than a please. I’m sorry that he’s hurt but this is not my problem. Chase made it clear that I wasn’t going to be a part of his life when he dumped me and then left for college. That was ten years ago, Mrs. Adams, and I haven’t heard from him since. And to be honest, I think I’m the last person he’d want visiting him.”

She sighs heavily before saying, “I wasn’t positive, but I was hoping maybe you had seen him over the years. This really is our fault.” Donna huffs out a breath before continuing. “We convinced him it was best for you if he allowed you to go off to college and experience what life had to offer. If you two had stayed together, you would have held each other back and that wasn’t fair to either of you.”

I remain quiet, not wanting to relive the past with a woman that just willingly admitted to playing a role in the demise of our relationship.

“Jordan, he never wanted to break up with you, and after he did ...well, as his mother, I knew we made a monumental mistake. He wasn’t the same without you. And right now he’s lying in a hospital bed after suffering a blow to his head. He’s confused and for whatever reason he thinks the two of you are married.”

My heart drops to my stomach.
Married
? He thinks the two of us are ...married.

“He woke up several days ago and he’s gone from worried to upset because his wife hasn’t shown up to see him. Last night he had to be sedated, and no one knows if or when he’ll get his memory back, at least, the correct one. But...”

My hands are shaking and my heart is slowly breaking as I listen to her. I can’t believe this has happened to him, and now after ten years, he’s somehow involved me in his life.

“His doctor said it’s possible if he sees the grown-up version of you, it might spark his memory, especially if he hasn’t seen you in all of this time. At this point, I’m willing to do anything because watching him wonder where you’re at is just too much. It’s breaking my heart.” She sniffles again and I can hear the tears in her voice.

She’s waiting for me to give her an answer, but I’m not sure I have one. Years ago, I heard that Chase was drafted to the Arizona Cardinals. Other than that, I’ve made it a point not to know what is going on in his life.

“I know you must be busy with work. Congratulations, by the way, with everything you’ve achieved. But, please, I’m begging you to come here and see him.”

“Where is here, Mrs. Adams?” I say as I close my eyes in defeat.

“He’s at Phoenix Medical Center.”

I silently curse myself for even considering what she’s asking me. “I’ll need to think about this, but you can leave your number with my PA. If I decide to make the trip, I’ll let you know.”

“Oh, Jordan, please. I’m begging you. He’s so confused and upset, and I think you’re the only one who can make things right.”

“I’ll think about it. I have to go.” Before Donna can get another word in, I transfer the call back to Silvia. I’m staring down at my desk when I see a drop of water then another before it finally dawns on me that I’m crying.

Chase is someone I think I could handle accidentally running into. A quick
“How are you doing? That’s great. Well, I got to go”
conversation, but not this. Why in the world would he think we’re married? Does that mean he thinks about me? God ...I could be opening a huge door if I make the trip to see him. At the same time, he might take one look at me and snap out of it once he remembers all the reasons he was able to let me go so easily.

I don’t even know what Chase looks like these days. Ten years ago, Chase had a body that put any other guy I knew to shame. His father made sure he worked out for hours every single day and it paid off in a way that made it impossible not to notice him. He had short, dark brown hair, alluring hazel eyes, but none of that mattered to me. What truly sold me on Chase was the beauty I saw on the inside, the beauty I saw after I got to know the boy he kept hidden from everyone else. The boy that would mow his neighbor’s yard when she got too old to do it herself, the boy that put money on Gunner Brown’s lunch account to make sure he’d always have at least one good meal every day. The boy that pulled over to the side of the road to help a dog that someone else hit with their car.

The list of amazing things Chase did was never-ending, and more importantly ...he always did things because it was the right thing to do and never because he was looking for credit for his good deeds.

Knowing the kind of person Chase was only added to my devastation when he broke up with me. I wasn’t prepared for him to break my heart because he promised me we’d be fine. Then he went back on his word, and that was something Chase never did. He let me go without a second thought, which left me to wonder if our entire relationship was one big lie.

“You can’t be serious. Get your ass on a plane back to New York, now!” I breathe out a sigh as Lacey hollers in my ear.

When I got home last night, all I could think about was Chase. I owe him nothing yet I couldn’t get Donna’s plea out of my head. Caving to my curiosity, I looked up Chase’s name on the internet. At first, I didn’t even recognize him. According to the most recent photo I could find, his brown hair is long and wavy on the top with curls framing his ears. Over the years, he alternated between a clean-cut look to a full beard. No matter, his hazel eyes popped in almost every picture I looked at. He looks older but not old by any means. Time has done nothing to take away from his gorgeous looks.

The articles I read were ones that reminded me of the Chase I once knew. I saw pictures of him with sick children in the hospital. He volunteers both his time and money at a local animal shelter. But what finally sold me on the idea of jumping on a plane to see what I could do to help him was the lack of females he’s been photographed with.

During the last ten years, I’ve pictured Chase as a man whore and maybe he is. If he is, at least he’s smart enough not to be photographed with a different woman every weekend. He’s never been married, no children and no pregnancy scares, at least, none that were made public. From everything I could find he appears to be a great football player and an overall good guy.

Maybe Donna was telling me the truth. Maybe Chase broke up with me for some noble reason, which is why I bought a plane ticket to Phoenix.

I knew Lacey would blow up—and rightfully so—if she knew where I was going. She’s the only person that truly knows what I went through after Chase broke up with me. She held my hand and reminded me on a regular basis what a douchebag loser he was, and even though she’s never met him, I know she hates him on principle alone.

“Calm down. I’ll be back in three days, Lacey.”

“Three fucking days? What the hell, Jordan? You don’t owe this guy shit. He broke your fucking heart. Please tell me you haven’t forgotten that!” she screeches in my ear, causing me to pull the phone away until she’s done ranting.

“Argh, of course I haven’t, Lace. Look, I just arrived at the hospital. I’ll call you tonight when I make it back to my hotel room. Please do not worry about me.”

“Whatever,” she says before the line goes dead. Geez ...Lacey never hangs up on me. I think she might be on a whole new level of crazy at the moment. I guess it was a good call to wait until I arrived in Arizona to tell her what I was doing.

When I called Donna to tell her I would make the trip today, she asked me to send her a text when I arrived at the hospital. Visitors aren’t allowed anywhere near Chase’s room without a family member’s approval. The only thing I know is that Chase is on the eleventh floor.

After sending Donna a text, I take the main elevator up to his floor then wait for her by the elevator banks. That’s when Mr. Adams spots me.

I give him a polite and extremely fake smile but he looks angry. Livid might be more appropriate. Steve Adams’s anger seems to be aimed straight at me.

“What in the hell are you doing here?”
Um ...what?

Steve narrows his eyes. “Do you really think this is what my son needs right now? Huh, do you? You almost destroyed his chance to play football before and he sure as hell doesn’t need you here to do it again.”

I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts. My mouth opens only to immediately close. Stunned is the only way to describe my reaction to Chase’s father. As the words he just practically screamed at me sink in, I turn around and push the down button on the elevator.

I don’t know what I was expecting when I arrived, but I know I didn’t sign up for this. I’m astonished that Donna asked me to come knowing how her husband would react to seeing me. What’s worse is that she didn’t feel the need to at least give me some heads up.

Mr. Adams always discouraged Chase from spending time with me when we were dating, doing everything from giving him endless amounts of chores to unexpected trips out of town. However, he never came right out and told me he didn’t want me around his son, but that was clearly the case.

I’m nervously tapping my foot on the floor, watching the lights on the elevator. When it opens, I rush forward without looking where I’m going and run straight into a very large man.

“Whoa there, gorgeous.” The man lightly grabs ahold of my arms to keep me from losing my balance. All I want to do is run and hide, even more so once I see how attractive the man is. It’s not until he opens his mouth that my overwhelming need to get the hell out of here returns. “Hey, Steve, how’s our boy doing today?”

You have got to be kidding me.
I step out and around the man in time to see the elevator doors close again. I push the down button repeatedly, hoping by some miracle it will open. But, of course, I’m not that lucky.

“Steve, I think you’ve been holding out on me. How about you introduce me to the beautiful lady?” I rub the bridge of my nose, praying like hell I can get out of here, and quick.

“Jordan?” I hear Donna say. Good Lord, luck is not on my side today. I take a deep breath and turn around to face the woman that has gone to extreme lengths to convince me to come here. “Were you leaving?” she asks in a concerned voice.

I clear my throat and straighten my shoulders. “Yes, Donna, I’m leaving. A little heads up regarding this asshole over here would have been nice.” I can practically see steam coming out of Steve’s ears.

“What did you call me?” he growls.

“Be quiet, STEVEN!” Everyone within hearing distance stops and looks in our direction. I don’t really know Donna but I get the impression based on both Steve and the big guy’s reaction to her outburst that this is not normal behavior.

“We’ve tried it your way and that hasn’t worked. Now we’re trying it my way and my way includes help from Jordan. You can either shut up and deal with her being here or you can leave.”