SM 101: A Realistic Introduction (48 page)

Command: “Sit!”
In this position, the submissive sits cross-legged on the floor. Their hands rest palm down on their knees, and their back is in the usual straight, erect position.

“Sit” is moved into from “kneel” by sliding into “adjust,” then bringing the opposite leg around to the cross-legged position. Like “adjust,” some bound submissives can move into and out of this position without assistance; some cannot.

This position may relieve lower-leg numbness and tingling; however, it also may cause it to appear after a while in some submissives. Many submissives can hold this position without developing numbness for quite some time.

Having a slave is like having a lover, a child, and an employee all rolled into one.

Command: “Kneel forward!”
To assume this position from “kneel,” the submissive places their right hand palm-down on the ground about a foot in front of their knees. The thumb is spread away from the hand at about a 60 degree angle. The fingers are lightly pressed together. The left hand is then brought down to match the right hand. The thumbs touch each other and the index fingers touch. The submissive’s hands now form a triangle directly in front of their body. The wrists are straight, bent neither outward nor inward. The submissive bows their head and places the top of their forehead in the triangle.

Note: Many submissives can press their foreheads to the ground in this position with their hands bound behind them. Some may need help in doing so or they could “crash land” and hurt themselves.

This is a very submissive, penitent position. It exposes the submissive’s back, buttocks, anus, and genitals. This position may be used to administer “punishment” whippings or spankings. (Be careful when spanking a submissive male who is in this position. His testicles will be
very
exposed. You don’t want to strike them — at least not by accident.) This position is excellent for the submissive to assume when apologizing to the dominant — as they so often must.

Safety note about “kneel forward”: This position may place significant strain on the submissive’s neck, especially if they are ordered to assume it while their hands are bound behind their back. I know of one submissive who developed a painful neck sprain that lasted for months after enduring it for a long time during a harsh session. Be alert to neck problems. Change the position immediately if significant neck pain develops. No “submissive heroics” regarding enduring pain to please the dominant in this matter.

Command: “Kneel back!”
To assume this position from “kneel,” the submissive spreads their ankles apart until they are slightly wider than their hips. They then lower their buttocks to the ground and lean back until as much of their body as possible is resting on the ground. (Technically, the submissive is not kneeling at all; rather, they are lying face-up.) Their hands go palm-down by their calves, fingers and thumb pressed lightly together.

This position offers excellent access to the submissive’s breasts and genitals. Some dominants who are particularly fond of genital and nipple torture order their submissives to assume this position. The dominant may then bind the submissive’s wrists to their ankles. The advantages of this position include that the dominant can use their hands and their mouth. (If they choose to touch their submissive’s body with their mouth. Some do; some don’t. It’s a matter of what the
dominant
wishes.) The submissive’s mouth is somewhat available.

I don’t want anyone washing my Mistress’s dishes but me.

One disadvantage of this position is limited access to the submissive’s anus. Another disadvantage is that sexual intercourse is likely to be difficult or impossible.

Safety note: This position may place a
substantial
strain on the submissive’s body, especially the lower back, the fronts of the thighs, and the knees. Submissives who are no longer as young, light, or flexible as they used to be may suffer serious injury if they are ordered to assume or maintain this position in the face of difficulty. (Yoga classes or other stretching exercises can help.) Manysubmissives will be unable to assume this position at all. They also may be
very
seriously injured if the strain of the position is worsened, as it might be if the dominant sat on them. Be careful.

I know two ways to make this position easier and safer to assume. The first involves placing a thick, wide pad — such as a sofa pillow or a folded blanket - under the submissive. This pad should run from under their buttocks to the top of their head.

A second method of relieving the strain of this position is to modify it by having the submissive lie on their back and pull their feet up toward their buttocks, perhaps grabbing their ankles with their hands. (Their wrists may be tied to their ankles.) This position, although technically not a kneeling position at all, preserves most of the position’s good points while relieving much of the strain on the submissive’s back.

This position is a very vulnerable, helpless one. It is worth exploring, but be careful. More than any of the other positions, the strain caused by assuming and holding it exposes the submissive to injury.

Command: “Stand!”
In this position, the submissive rises to a standing position. Their spine is erect and their shoulders back. Their gaze is slightly lowered. Their hands are held by their side with the palm-sides of their thumbs and the tips of their fingers slightly pressed against the sides of their thighs. Their feet are comfortably together, spaced neither noticeably widely nor narrowly.

To prevent fainting, the submissive should be cautioned not to stand with their knees locked. To help prevent fainting, and for the aesthetic effect, the submissive may be ordered to keep one heel always slightly lifted off the floor, changing heels as needed.

Please, Master, don’t let me get away with that.

When the submissive rises from their knees to a standing position, they should do so gracefully, preferably rising from both knees at once. If they cannot rise from both knees at once, they should place one foot in front of them (preferably the right foot) and rise. If they cannot drop to both knees at once, they should place their left knee down first.

Command: “Supine!”
In this position, the submissive lies face-up. Their hands rest naturally by their sides, palm down, with fingers and thumb lightly pressed together. Their heels lightly touch. Their gaze is straight up and does not wander.

Command: “Prone!”
In this position, the submissive lies face down. The tops of their feet rest against the floor. Their heels and toes lightly touch. Their hands rest palm up with the fingers and thumb together. Their thumbs lightly touch their sides. The entire backs of the fingers rest against the surface the submissive is lying on. The tip of the submissive’s chin rests on the floor. (This head position may put an uncomfortable strain on the submissive’s neck, so I allow the submissive to turn their head to either side as needed.)

Arm positions

There is often a need for the submissive to place their arms in certain positions, often to offer them for binding.

Command: “Arms up!”
In this position, the submissive places their arms directly over their head in line with their ears. For example, if the submissive were told “arms up” while they were standing, their arms would point toward the ceiling. On the other hand, if they were ordered “arms up” while supine or prone on a bed, their arms would reach toward the head of the bed, not straight up into the air.

The upper arms are usually about two inches away from their ears, not pressed tightly against them. The palms are usually facing directly ahead but may, if the dominant instructs, be placed facing toward each other. The fingers and thumb are together.

Command: “Arms out!”
In this position, the arms are held up and away from the side of the body at a 45 degree angle. The palms face forward, fingers together.

Command: “Arms level!”
The arms are held straight out to the side, palms forward, fingers together.

Command: “Arms down!”
If the submissive is standing, on their stomach, or on their back, their arms are placed against the sides of their thighs, palm side of the thumb and fingertips touching. If the submissive is in any other position, their hands return to their standard place for that position — for example, in “kneel” the hands would return to the front center of the thigh.

Command: “Arms forward!”
The submissive extends their arms straight out in front of their body at shoulder level. The hands are about a foot apart and the palms pointed toward each other. Alternatively, as the dominant instructs, the palms may be pointed either up or down.

Command: “Arms back!”
This command is classically used to order the submissive to place their hands behind their back for binding. The submissive brings their hands behind their back and places the backs of their hands against their lower back or upper buttocks, whichever is more natural. Their palms face straight to the rear, fingers together. The dominant then moves the submissive’s hands into the desired position and binds them.

Command: “Arms behind!”
The submissive places their hands behind their neck, with the fingers of their left hand resting upon the back of their right hand.

Leg Positions

Command: “Legs out!”
The submissive spreads their legs until each is at a 45 degree angle to the midline, thus forming a 90 degree angle at their crotch.

Command: “Legs in!”
The legs are brought back to the midline and positioned as in the “supine” or “prone” command.

Command: “Legs back!”
The submissive bends their knees until their feet are bent close to their buttocks.

Command: “Legs down!”
The legs are unbent and again laid flat.

Combinations

Some positions frequently recur, and the commands associated with them can be combined and streamlined. For example, the combination of “legs out” and “arms out” (the classic “spread-eagle” position) can be combined into “double out” or “spread-eagle.” This can be combined with a body position command into: “Stand, double-out” or “Supine, spread-eagle.”

I can’t wait to kneel to you again.

The “arms back” and “legs back” position, so popular for bondage, can be combined into “double back” and used with a body position: “Prone, double back.”

The submissive should be required early in their training to memorize these positions and the commands associated with them. The dominant should test the submissive on their knowledge, being very understanding, forgiving, and gently correcting with the first training session, and progressively less so from then on.

The submissive should move from position to position with a quick but smooth, obedient grace. They should not jerk or snap from position to position unless that is what their dominant desires. The dominant should pay close attention to the details of how the submissive assumes these positions. Unfocused fingers, and toes not touching in the “kneel” position, are particularly common errors.

The teaching and learning of physical obedience to commands is a cornerstone in the foundation of a submissive’s training. A wise dominant makes sure this is done solidly.

Speech Training

In general, the submissive should begin and/or end everything they say with a respectful term. To give one example, if a dominant woman were to ask a submissive man what time it is, he might reply, “Mistress, it’s 3:15 p.m., Mistress.”

The submissive should usually speak only when directly spoken to, or after being given permission to speak. They can request permission by slightly raising their hand, or by giving some similar signal.

There are exceptions to the “begin and end everything you say with Mistress” rule. Exceptions include the terms “Hello, Mistress,” “Goodbye, Mistress,” “Yes, Mistress,” “No, Mistress,” and “Thank you, Mistress.”

When a submissive is given a command, they should acknowledge it. For example, when commanded “arms back,” the submissive male would reply “Yes, Mistress” as he put his hands behind his back.

If the submissive male wanted to ask something of his Mistress, the correct form of address (after first, of course, being granted permission to speak) would be, “Mistress, please..., Mistress?” For example, let’s say a submissive male wanted to remove his watch. He would first raise his hand. If she were then to say, “You may speak,” he would first reply, “Thank you, Mistress.” (This expresses his gratitude at being allowed to speak at all while in his Mistress’s presence.) He would then say, “Mistress, please may I remove my watch, Mistress?” If she were to reply, “You may,” he would answer, “Thank you, Mistress,” and remove his watch. He would then return as quickly as possible to his original position.

I saw the most wonderful whipping being given last night.

If a submissive needs to attend to personal care, such as to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water, the proper question is, “Mistress, please may I be briefly excused, Mistress?” (A brief excuse normally lasts no longer than five minutes.)

Note: Unless instructed otherwise, a submissive need not request permission to speak before replying to a question or direct order from the dominant.

Some submissives just simply don’t understand the simple order, “Begin and end everything you say with ‘Mistress’.” For example, give them this test. Say to them, “Slave.” (To which they should reply, “Yes, Mistress?”) “Say Mistress three times.”

The correct response, of course, is, “Yes, Mistress. Mistress, Mistress, Mistress, Mistress, Mistress.” I have had some submissives struggle with this for over half an hour. It became hysterically funny after a while — the SM equivalent of “Who’s on first?”