Shattered (2 page)

3

My eye pops open. I know its Tyler, but why? He never comes to the hospital. I feel his breath on my face. I don’t dare move.  Something has spooked him. I can’t speak and can only use one arm. If I move, he will see it.  I don’t want him to flip out here. I won’t be able to lie for him. My breathing is slowing down. I’m having to work harder for the breath I pull in. His face is red, and he looks scared. I wouldn’t know why. I did what I always do. He needs to say what he has to say and get out before Storm and Liam come back.

“What the fuck did you tell that asshole Falls?” he hisses. I can smell the alcohol on his breath.

I try to shake my head, but his hands are too tight. I go to reach for the pen and paper, and his hands tighten until he sees what I’m doing. He pulls himself up a bit and looks over me with a smile on his face.

“I fucked you up pretty nice this time, didn’t I?” he says as he readjusts his cock.
The sick fuck gets off on seeing me like this
, I realize.  After he looks at me like he wants to mount me right here and now, he leans in closer to me.

“Now, answer my question you dumb bitch; and you better give me the right answer or you may not make it out of this one alive.”

I write as fast as I can.  He has a wild look to his eyes. He has to be something now.

I didn’t say anything to him.  I promise.  Look, everything is here on this pad.

I push the pad over to him. He reads it, then starts reading what I had said to the detective. All of a sudden, he looks up at me with a look I have never seen. He drops the pad to the floor and comes toward me. I have decided I’m ready to accept whatever happens.  I have been ready for a long time—anything just to have it end without the circus of dealing with the cops and so forth.  So, if he kills me, I’m ready.  Still, a tear of fear rolls down my face. His hands back at my neck more pressure this time.

“Your fucking brother and Liam are here.”

What
?

I don’t remember writing anything about them on the pad. My air is completely gone at this point and the machines are going crazy. I need air. He won’t let me breathe in.

The door bangs against the wall. Two nurses come rushing in. They look at Tyler. He is no longer the pissed-off-ready-to-kill-me Tyler. Now, he is the calm, loving husband. He stands there looking at them with his hands in his Levis.  “Is she ok?” He asks.  “I don’t know what happened. One minute, I was telling her I was sorry for not being there.  The next, she had stopped breathing.”

At that moment, Storm and Liam come in. Their eyes are huge and come right to me. Then, slowly they move to Tyler. Tyler crosses his arms over his chest and tips his head at them like they are old friends. Storm starts walking toward Tyler and stops when they are standing side by side. Storm is trying to be quiet, but I still hear him. He leans over to Tyler a little and says, “I’ve been looking for you, dickface. Though, I figured you wouldn’t show your pussy ass face around here so soon. What made you show up? Was it my buddy, Falls?”

Tyler turns his head to look at Storm.  The fire is back in his eyes. Storm pays it no mind and keeps talking. “You didn’t know we were, did you. Well like I told him…”  Storm stops talking. He is looking at me now.  His eyes show all the fire and fury that he is feeling. He walks up to my bed pushing a nurse out of his way. His hand opens on top of my head so he can turn it. And that is exactly what he does, to the left and to the right. Behind Storm, I see Liam see what Storm sees. The nurses have already left my room now that the machines have calmed down, and I seem to be breathing fine.

I’m trying to hold my shit together, but a few tears fall. I don’t want Storm or Liam to go where they are about to go. Storm lets go of my head; but before he turns all the way around, Liam has Tyler against the wall by his neck. He lifts Ty off the floor a few inches. When Liam speaks, it scares me. I have never in my life since I have known him heard him sound so scary.

“You son of a bitch. It wasn’t enough that you beat her until she almost dies.  You wanna come here to the hospital, a place you fucking put her and put your hands around her goddamn throat? You’re a poor excuse for a man. I can’t wait to see you outside this fucking hospital. I will fucking end you. You don’t have to worry about going to jail and becoming someone’s bitch. I’m going to end you. Do you hear me, you fucking bastard?” Tyler has a small smile on his face like everything is fine or like he knows something we don’t. I know this will not end well. I can see in it in the eyes of the men in this room. Storm and Liam want to kill and make Tyler hurt. Tyler wants to make me hurt.  Me? I just want to disappear.

The next thing I know, the door flies open and Detective Falls comes back into the room. I know this is about to get really bad. I look at Tyler.  His smile isn’t as big as it was before, but his eyes have gone round. Detective Falls puts his right arm against the wall and takes in the drama before him. Liam still has his hands around Tyler’s throat. Now that Falls has come in the room, all eyes go to him. I guess when I sent him away, he didn’t go far.  He brings his hand to his mouth and pulls out the toothpick, points it at Tyler, and begins to speak.  I am frozen solid with fear as I wait to see what is about to happen. 

“Tyler, long time no see, ass wipe. Can’t say I happy to see you breathing. I thought for sure someone would have already taken your life for me by now. Hell, it looks like I came by to soon. Looks like Liam here is about to take care of that for me. Liam step back, man.  This sack of shit isn’t goin’ anywhere.”

I watch Liam’s face change. I can see the hope he has, thinking that Tyler will be going to jail.  Unfortunately, they have nothing on him at this point that I’m aware of.  So, he won’t be going anywhere but home or to one of his whore’s house.

“Is this your handy work Tyler? You still like beating on women?”  Falls asks.

Tyler looks to me. I give him a small shake of my head just so he knows that I haven’t said anything.

Tyler’s smirk comes back into play.  He turns his eyes to Falls. “I don’t know what you are talking about, cowboy. Rainy here is a bit on the clumsy side. Says she fell down the stairs. I was at work.  You can call if you want.”

“Does Slim still run the shop? Because I have to tell you, if it’s old Slim, I will believe not a damn thing that comes from his mouth. Come on Tyler, don’t act like this is our first meeting. I have known you for a long while now. You not going to ask me how Maggie and your boys are doing?”

Tyler looks at me. Liam is looking at all of us, as is Storm. I guess Falls didn’t feel the need to share what he knew with the guys.

“You need to learn to mind your own biz, cop. Maggie has shit to do with me. She was a fuck. That’s it. She wanted it to be more. Made shit up once I told her to hit the road. Those bastard kids of hers ain’t mine.  She just doesn’t know who the daddy is. Hell, I ain’t sure I can even have kids. I question Rainy’s fucking kids.”

At that, Storm charges Tyler. Ty doesn’t even move.  He knows that no one will let Storm get to him. He isn’t wrong. Falls grabs Storm by his shirt, pulling him back to his side. No easy task if you have ever laid eyes on Storm.

Falls keeps talking like Tyler never said anything. Through all this, I just listen and watch.  Besides, what else
can
I really do at this point?  It’s not like I can jump up and scream at everyone to stop and leave.  I hate confrontation.  I just want peace.  Unfortunately, it seems that the only way I’ll get that is if I stop existing. 

I still don’t see how Tyler can deny his children.  He keeps me under lock and key so much that even if I
had
wanted to do anything to disrespect our marriage, I couldn’t have.  He says he loves those boys.  Then again, he says he loves me—or he used to.  He doesn’t say much of anything to me unless he is yelling at me or threatening me. 

Falls looks at me now. “I’m sorry, Rainy.  I’m sorry that I’m the one that this information came from. It should have come from this piece of shit you call a husband, but do you really want to spend your life with a man that beats you and doesn’t let you see your own kids. Speaking of, where are your kids, Rainy?”

I feel the tears falling from my eyes. One eye is still swollen shut, but tears still find their way out. I reach the paper and pen to ask him to leave, but Tyler dropped the pad to the floor.  I can’t take anymore. I guess Storm knows what I’m looking for because he bends to pick it up then places it in front of me. All the while giving me a ‘we will talk later about this’ look.  As I’m about put the pen to the paper, Tyler is in Falls’ face.

“You have no right to talk to her.” Tyler says to Falls. “Who do you think you are comin’ in here with this shit? You have no proof of anything you have said. Did Rainy tell you I hit her? Did she say it was me that made the kids go away? Those little bastards aren’t mine to be worrying about anyway. If you ask me, my life is better now that they are gone. I ain’t in no hurry for them to come back.  For all I know, they are your kids. Fuck, for all I know, they are Liam’s.  His stupid ass has been in love with Rainy since high school.”

I cut my eyes to Liam. He doesn’t change his pissed off face at all. Liam was in love with me? Tyler knows the kids are his.  Hell,
he
had me name the first one after Liam. That was back when they were best friends.

I have too much in my head at this point. Tyler with kids that he didn’t have with me, another woman that was able to get away from him, Falls knowing all about Tyler, and people in town knowing that Tyler beats me--I don’t think I could live if people knew all the truth. I’m at my breaking point. I want them all to leave. I hit the nurse’s button again. This has to end now. I hear Storm laugh, but it’s not the laugh he normally has after someone has told a joke. 

“You act like you give a fuck. The only thing you are fucking worried about is that we might be getting through to her and that she might actually leave your ass, that she might see thou all of your bullshit, and see that she deserves better? What’s wrong, spunk trumpet?  Are you worried about who you’ll fucking beat on when she is gone?”

Tyler snickers, “You know as well as I do that she isn’t going anywhere. You have no proof that I laid a finger on her. You want to blame her being a clumsy bitch on me, go right ahead; but until you have proof, all three of you stay the fuck away from me and my fucking cunt wife. You’re all fucking losers. Poor, poor Rainy. Man whatever. You don’t know Rainy like I do. Bitch ain’t going nowhere.”

Liam is looking at me.  His eyes are pleading with me. I know what he wants, but I can’t give it to him. Tyler walks to the door, but stops next to Liam. He talks loud enough for us all to hear him.

Do you ever think about what it would be like to fuck her, Liam? To just sink balls deep in her? To feel her nails in your back?  Do you ever wonder what it would feel like to feel your balls beating against her ass as you pound her wet pussy until she fucking screams your name?  Um, I have to tell you—it’s magic.” With a wicked grin Tyler looks back at me then walks out of the room, passing the nurse.

The nurse looks my way.  She has soft eyes.  Standing at 5’3” with a small frame, crimson-red hair, tattoos, and piercings, she doesn’t look like your normal nurse.  “Do you need anything, Mrs. Childs?” Her name tag says her name is Slaine. I shake my head ‘no’. Now that Tyler is gone, maybe things will calm down. I grab my paper and pen

 
I’m sorry I must have hit the button by accident. Everything is fine.

She nods at me and says, “No problem, Mrs. Childs.  If you need anything, just let me know.”

Please, call me ‘Rainy’.

She nods in agreement and leaves the room, but not before telling all three men that they have ten more minutes.  “She needs her rest, and I doubt she can rest properly with the three of you brooding in the room.”

All eyes turn to me once she left the room.  So, I grab the pad and start using the back side of all the paper. 

I don’t want to hear it ya’ll. Whenever I get out of here, I’m going back home. Storm you know better than to try and save me. And now you, wanna bring a fucking cop into this? Do you honestly think it will make anything better? I want you and detective Falls to leave, Storm. I don’t want you to come back. Its safer this way. Stay away. Both of you.

I turn the paper back around and let them read. I knew my brother would not leave without saying something. And I was right. “Rainy you have to be fucking with me. You want me to leave knowing that your asshat of a husband beats you and doesn’t give a fuck if you live or die? Rainy, next time, I may not be on time. I may not be able to fucking save you.” I can tell Storm is pissed, but at this point I couldn’t give a fuck—even if I grew a field of them. I slam my writing hand down on the little table. I hate when I get mad or angry, because I cry. I hate the tears that are running down my face at this point. I pick up my pen. My hand is shaking so bad I hope they will be able to read it.

I don’t want you to fucking save me, Storm!! I want you to let me the fuck go. That goes for all of you. Let me he fuck go. Please. Stop saving me. I don’t want to be saved.

Storm makes like he is going to come to my bedside, but Falls grabs his arm and stops him. Storm looks back at him. I see the pain in Storm’s eyes. I have been telling Storm and Liam to leave me alone all this time, but I never told them why.  I never gave them an inkling into what I was feeling right now.  I never told them that I couldn’t take the pain from living like this anymore.  Even if I had escaped from Tyler, or left him, I would always be looking over my shoulder wondering if he was nearby.  I would never be able to sleep because I’d wonder if he was going to kill me while I slept.  I knew that Tyler was always right about one thing—he ruined me for any other man.  He always told me he’d never let me go until I was dead, and I knew he was meant it.  The way he put it was that ‘til death do us part’ meant that one of us
had
to die in order for us to separate or divorce.  He always told me it wasn’t going to be him, too.  So, even if I got away, I’d never have my life back.