Sacrifice (12 page)

“You ain’t never lie girl, but it is what it is.”

“You never tried stopping it?”

“Girl so many times but the door was always locked and they wouldn’t answer until he was done. So me and my sister would just sit by the door and cry when we would hear our mother take punches then start screaming.”

“Wow I’m so sorry.” 

“Oh it’s ok, like I said she enjoys it ‘cause she loves the aftermath,” she concluded as I sat there and let her do my hair and face without interruption. By the time I looked back in the mirror I saw a different Ella.

“Oh my God!”

“I know, I know, thank me later,” she laughed impressed by her work.

“Girl I look so different and beautiful.”

“Yes you do. He is going to be shocked to see you like this.”

I looked beautiful, I felt beautiful and even my inner body felt beautiful. I looked how I would have loved to look every day. It was also my first time wearing a full face of makeup; and I like it.

“Ok stop looking in the mirror and go put on your clothes.”

“Ok fine!” I put on my red dress which was fitted from my breasts down to my waist as the rest was free flowing. My sandals were at the door for when it was time to leave. My phone rang and I answered. “Hello?” I said feeling it was Celius.

“Hey sweetie it’s Celius.”

“Oh… hey,” I said sounding a little nervous.

“Hey sorry I won’t be able to make it.”

“Oh… ok,” my face looked like it dropped in a puddle of mud.

“You’re not even going to ask me why?”

“I mean I’m sure there’s a good reason why you’re calling this off,” I wasn't exactly sure of what I was saying, but I felt disappointed. To my surprise, he laughed.

“I’m just kidding sweetie, I’m about to be on my way.”

“That wasn’t funny!” I said with relief.

“Sorry I just wanted to see if you were a crazy chick or a cool chick.”

“So what category do I fall in?”

“Of course it’s the cool chick side.”

“How so?”

“You didn’t go off on me when you thought I really called off the date.”

“Oh no I wouldn’t do that, things happen.”

“Yeah you’re right. You dressed?”

“Not really but almost,” I lied in an attempt to make him wait for playing that prank on me.

“Will you be ready by the time I get there?”

“At 7:00 still?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry, maybe around 9:00, because I haven’t taken a shower or nothing yet.”

“Ok,” he said not sounding too happy.

“Kidding! I was just trying to get you back. But I’m dressed.”

“Ha! You’re not that good at pranks either,” he said sounding relieved.

“Well you fell for it.”

“No, no, I didn’t want you to feel bad so I played along with it.”

“Sure you did,” I said as we both laughed.

“So ok since you ready, I should be there soon.”

“Sounds good.”

“See you in few.”

“Ok.”

We both got off the phone as I sat on the couch uncomfortable, trying not to ruin my dress or mess up my makeup. It felt like I was wearing a mask from head to toe and though I loved what I saw in the mirror, I hated the time it took to prepare for it.

‘It takes too much time to be beautiful,’ I said to myself. I contemplated on how I could adjust to this image I found myself fitting in. My phone rang again as I was about to go deep in thought.

“Hello?”

“Hey what side of the building are you on? I’m behind the science classroom right now,” Celius said. 

“Ok come around and park on 5th street, I’m in building E.”

“Ok cool, I should be there in less than two minutes then.”

“Ok I’m getting ready to come out now.” 

“Ok cool.”

I ran back to the mirror to see if I was still looking good and Reggae came into the bathroom and laughed at me.

“Damn girl you in the mirror like every two seconds, go... get out of here, I’m pretty sure he is outside waiting on you while you’re still in the mirror.”

“OK fine I’m leaving,” I grabbed Reggae’s black clutch with a diamond stone at the top as I walked outside nervous but I was trying not to let my nerves show. This was my first date and I had no idea how to act. I walked outside and saw him standing by the passenger’s side of his car waiting on me to come. I dragged my feet as slow as possible as he waited patiently thinking it was because of my leg injury. He smiled as he met me half way to help me through the rest of the walk. We got in the car and drove to the restaurant. They showed us to our table, and he pulled my chair out before he sat across from me; I could really see how beautiful he was that night.  His eyes, his personality as we kept talking, the way he carried himself as a true gentlemen, the way he held a good conversation, and the way he smiled. I could have sworn I had just fallen in love as the butterflies in my stomach sang.  But the doubt was I didn’t know what love was because I had never been in love before.

It was time to go but I wasn’t ready to go yet, I was ready to find out more than he had already told me about him. We drove home still talking and laughing. It felt so good because I had never been that happy in my life. I was getting addicted to everything involving him yet I wasn’t sure how he felt about me. I wanted to certainly know so I wouldn’t be the one hurt in the end. Despite my worries, the moment felt so good and he looked happy to be around me.

“I don’t want you to leave just yet,” he said to me as he parked his car in front of my door.

“Me neither."

We sat in the car and talked until it was time for me to finally go, but I still wasn’t ready.

“So when am I going to see you again?”

“Whenever you want to, it’s up to you,” I said, but my mind spoke otherwise. I wanted to see him every second he was on this earth.

“Oh it’s like that?”

“Yeah it is.”

“Oh ok what you doing tomorrow?”

“Nothing really,” I lied knowing I was supposed to be shopping with Reggae the next day; and also to the movies. I just knew she would let me off the hook because she knew how much I wanted to spend time with him.

“How about we go for some ice cream? And then to the park after that.”

“That sounds good,” I said not being a fan of the parks, but I was a fan of his presence.

“Ok cool I will call you tomorrow after school.”

“Ok,” I said as I tried getting out of the car.

“Wait let me help you” he said as he helped me get out the car, as I left not wanting to go. I walked in the house lost in my thoughts as I saw Reggae in the living room watching a movie, then she turned her attention to me.

“Ok I want to know everything and don’t leave anything out.”

“Damn what happened to hello, how did your date go?” I said trying to prolong being forced to talk about it.

“Ok fine how did your date go?” she asked.

“It was good,” my intention was to tell her nothing that happened. I was afraid of her input whether good or bad.

“Ok I want full details.”

“It was no big deal Reggae, it was just a date.”

“Ok now I know you lying. So you’re really going to sit here and tell me the date wasn’t all that when your face was glowing until you saw me sitting here?”

“No Reggae.”

“Then tell me how it went.”

“It was good.”

“More details Ella!” she pushed.

“Ok fine, we ate, drank and talked all night. He is cool and I like him.”

“Mmmm be more specific,” she said, feeling not too satisfied.

I had a feeling that she was just trying to get me to go more into details. I didn’t know how to explain any of it in great detail thinking about the whole night. Besides, I was also afraid to let her know how I actually felt about him after that day. I didn’t want to talk about it so that I wouldn’t get too excited about it. Because in the past, when I do get excited about things too soon, disaster would always strike, therefore I would remain faithful that good things would happen on its own. I snapped back to my first motive, which was not to tell her any details.

“Reggae, it was a cool date, and he has a wonderful personality.”

“This sounds boring.”

“I know right?”

“You know what fine… you don’t have to tell me, I’m going to bed, peace.”

She gave me the peace sign and departed to her room.

“Night, boo.”

I waved my hand at her as I sat in the living room and day dreamed about him. The first things that popped in my head, was how would he kiss me when the time comes? Would he make love to me and be gentle?  How would he hold me at night? How would I feel during all this? I was anxious to know. I lay on the couch and thought about what would happen next. I wanted those feelings and moments to manifest and last forever. As I kept daydreaming about him, the memory of my father took over my mind. I didn’t know how my mind switched from daydreaming about Celius to my dead father. I cried when I suddenly realized, I wasn’t daydreaming anymore, I was actually dreaming. I woke up crying in the middle of the night knowing my dad was not there to talk to about Celius. I got up and went to my room and put on a movie to clear my mind from thinking about either of them. I struggled with the thoughts, but I finally won when I fell asleep.              

Chapter 9

I woke up the next morning looking forward to seeing Celius but I forgot that I had a project due. That didn’t matter though; nothing mattered at that time. All I wanted to do was see him. My attitude on my project could be summed up by my own words, “It’s Saturday anyways so I have till Monday to get it together.”

I lay in my bed waiting for his phone call that likely would come later on in the day; if he were to call. I left my room and went to the living room feeling hopeless, I couldn’t think of anything to do. I decided to wake Reggae up to go do some early shopping.

“Wake up,” I said rocking her back and forth.

She sighed and said, “Go away,” with her eyes still closed.

“No, come on we should go shopping now and do what you wanted to do.”

“Girl, it’s too early for this shit. Leave me alone,” she turned the other way and I kept shaking her to get up.

“But I have something to do later in the day.”

“You never have nothing to do so stop lying and go back to sleep,” she grabbed her alarm clock to see what time it was, “It’s only 8:00, go back to sleep Ella.”

“It’s not that early Reggae, come on I want to go to the mall.”

“We’ll go later now leave me alone!”

“We can’t go later, I might have a date again,” I said with a grin on my face showing excitement. I had forgotten that she wasn’t supposed to know how excited I was about him.

“Awww really?”

“Yeah girl, now you have to give me another makeover but this time I need to wear something casual but still sexy.

“Wait is that why you wanted to go to the mall now so you wouldn’t have to go with me later?”

“Ummm, maybe?”

“Such a trader, now go away!”

“Come on Reggae we got to go shopping for me!”

“Damn you annoying me right now!”

“Please?” I gave her my puppy face.

“See that don’t work for me.”

“Come on Reggae this is really important to me.”

"I know it is, so is my sleep.”

“Come on please, I’ll owe you,” I kept rocking her.

“Ok, give me one more hour then I will be up.”

“Ok fair.”

“No it isn’t fair. This is you having your cake and eating it at the same damn time, so enjoy this while it last ‘cause you’re not going to keep waking me up for him and won’t even tell me what happened.”

“I will tell you what happens today.”

“Yeah… yeah… sure, whatever, now go away while I get my hour of sleep on,” she took a good glance at me and said, “Did you sleep with your outfit and makeup on?”

“Ummm, yeah,” I said as she shook her head.

“You are such a tomboy.”

“Why? I have on a dress so that don’t make me a tomboy.”

“You slept with your dress on and didn’t even wash off your makeup. You know that will break your face out crazy girl.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that,” I said.

“I know you didn’t, man I got a long way to go to transform you into a full woman.” 

“Yes you do, because I have no idea.”

“Ok, can you can give me my hour now?”

“Whatever,” I said as she turned the other way and started her hour of sleep. I was surprised she even made a deal with me. The worst thing you could ever do to her was to wake her up early in the morning when she had nothing important to do. She was even late to her morning classes, yet would still pick the earliest classes so she could have the rest of the day to hang out. I couldn’t help but wonder how she managed to pass her classes being late to class every day. I went into my room to watch TV knowing there was no way, shape or form that I was going to fall asleep due to the anticipation of meeting up with Celius. I laid in my bed with my TV on as I grabbed my phone to check the time when I saw the unexpected; a missed call from Celius and a text message saying, ‘Good morning and sorry if I called you too early, just wanted to hear your beautiful voice. Well, looking forward to seeing you and hearing from you beautiful,’ my face turned fire engine red as I called him back.

“Hey beautiful,” he said when he answered on the third ring.

“Hey!”

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing, I just got up.”

“I know I was supposed to see you later today, but I want to see you now,” he said.

I froze with excitement, but I took control over my emotions.

“I do too, but I have to be somewhere with my roommate today.” 

“Oh ok, that’s what’s up, I can respect that.”

There was silence for a few seconds then he asked, “So what time am I picking you up?”

“Like three.”

“Damn that’s a long time to wait to see you, but you’re worth the wait.”

“Awww that’s sweet, thank you.”

“Anything for you baby, well I will be seeing you at three then.”

“Ok,” I hung up the phone and attempted to run to Reggae’s room almost forgetting my leg was still in a brace; needless to say I tripped.

“Ok get up, we got to go now.”

“Oh my God go away,” she spoke with the annoyance I knew was brewing in her.

“Come on please? He’s going to be here at three so we got to go shopping now and do whatever we got to do and be here way before three so that you can dress me up again.”

“Ugh I don’t like you right now, you’re about to make me lose it,” she slammed her face back in the pillow and wasn’t budging.

“Ok, I promise to leave you alone after today so come on, let’s go get dressed, we got to go.”

“Liar, you will never leave me alone unless you stop talking to him and besides, the mall is not even open yet.” 

I ignored the comment that almost bruised my heart then said, “But by the time we get ready, it will be open so come on!”

“Ugh, I’m really going to have a hard time liking your new boyfriend.”

I loved the sound of that, but still I replied, “He is not my boyfriend,” I said with less emotion hoping he would be but I knew everything was too soon to make it official.

“Whatever, just go away.”

“Fine but you got to get up.”

“Ok, fine,” she turned to finally look at me as she displayed her blue eyes that always look so warm even when she gets mad.

“Wait, you not even dressed yet?”

“I know, we got to get dress at the same time.”

“Ugh, I thought I was weird.” 

I skipped out of her room with excitement and headed to my closet looking for something I could wear. I picked out some tight jeans and a white tee shirt. I tied up my hair looking forward to another makeover. Once we got to the mall, I was already ready to go. My body stood with Reggae, but my mind was far away from her. I unconsciously made it obvious I was ready to go. I wanted her to spend time making me over even though Celius & I were just going to the park.

I said, “When are we leaving again?” she looked at me and rolled her eyes and kept shopping.

“Ok fine, I’m not going to talk about it anymore. But don’t you need time to do my hair and makeup?” I said sounding selfish. 

“What time is he picking you up again?”

“Three.”

“Ella it’s only ten and it don’t take that long to do hair and makeup you know? And what happened to us seeing a movie today?”

“Reggae you know we wouldn’t have time for that, I promise I will spend all day with you tomorrow after homework.” 

“Yeah sure, do you have an idea on what you want to wear?”

“I don’t know; what should I wear?”

“It depends on where you going,” she said.

“The park.”

“A pair of pants and a tank top will be nice.             

“Isn’t that too plain?”

“A pair of pants and a tank top,” she said again ignoring my comment.

“Ok fine, but u got to make sure I’m cute.”

“You’re already cute.”

“Well you got to make me extra cute.”              

“Damn, calm down I got you. Now we got to shop for you real quick, then we can go get you dressed.”

“Ok, ok thank you,” I gave her a huge hug with her back facing me.

“You owe me big time.” 

“Oh trust me I know,” I smiled along with her half fake smile. We picked out a blue tank top with a pair of black shorts which I was contemplating on.

She asked, “What about this?”

“No, I don’t want to dress like that just yet.”

“Ella it’s just shorts. I’m not asking you to wear lingerie and walk in the park with him, and besides it’s hot outside.”

“You don’t think he will think of me differently for wearing shorts.”

“Shut up, you’re being too paranoid of what he thinks.”

“I know but you know I don’t like wearing shorts anyway.”

“I don’t know why because you have nice legs.”

“But it’s just too revealing for my brace.

“Ok I’m done talking to you. Now we’re getting these shorts and you’re wearing them.”

“Ok mother,” she rolled her eyes and walked to the accessories section as I walked behind her to pick out accessories to match my outfit.

She picked out a few things and paid for the items then we proceeded home for my makeover. I tried making conversation with her while she was working on me; she would answer each one of my questions very quickly; obviously because she wasn’t in the mood to talk to me. I turned my head towards my phone to see that my mother was calling. I picked up because I was in a good mood.

“Hey mommy!”

“Hey sweetie, you sound like you’re in a good mood.”

“I’m ok what’s up?”

“Nothing I’m just checking on you.”

“Thank you mommy.”

“You’re welcome and the house is on the market for sale now, we will be getting another one soon.”

“Ma, don’t do that, I was just angry when I said that and besides I don’t want to let go of any memories we all had in that house whether good or bad. I want to keep them all.”

“Awww sweetie, thank you, because I really like that house but you’re more important to me than anything.”

“Thank you, mommy for always trying to make me happy.”

“You’re my baby and there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

“Thank you mommy and I love you.”

“I love you too honey.”

“Ok I got to go mommy, Reggae is giving me a makeover.” 

“Oh wow sounds interesting, ok sweetie call me later.”

“Ok mom,” I said and hung up.

Reggae worked on me without really saying anything. After her nuisance of singing and torturing me with the hot iron, she held in her hands, she finally said, “Ok I am done." 

I looked in the mirror and saw my transformation again. It’s amazing how she does it.

“Awww Reggae, I love it! Thank you, thank you. Thank you!”

“I know,” she said as I hugged her. 

I then went straight to the room to get dressed for my date. I had less than an hour left as I put on my clothes as quickly as I could. Afterwards, I sat patiently for him trying not to mess up my hair, face or clothes.

“So you just going to sit still like a pole stick till he gets here?”

“Leave me alone, I’m not trying to mess nothing up. I want him to see me just like this.” 

“Oh my God you such a nerd!” she laughed.

“A careful nerd at that,” I smiled.

“Sure!” she went back to her room as I waited.

It was past three o’clock as I constantly looked at the phone to make sure I wouldn’t miss his call. He finally called and I answered on the first ring which took him by surprise.

“Oh wow that was quick,” he said.

I responded back, “I was about to use my phone when you called. But anyway, where are you?”

“Sorry I’m on my way now, you ready?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok good, I should be there in a few.”

“Ok see you then.” 

I crept to the mirror looking at myself from head to toe. I looked like a woman and felt like a woman, and wondered how much of a woman I would be once I wasn’t wearing the brace anymore.

The phone rang as I waited for the third ring before picking up this time.

“Hello.”

“Hey I’m outside.”

“Ok I will be right out,” I walked towards the door nervous, hoping the day would go as planned.

“Bye Reggae!”

I walked outside slowly, hoping he was not watching me as I walked towards him; sure enough he had a big smile on his face as he got out of the car to open the door for me again.

“You look beautiful,” he said as he pulled me closer to him and gave me a hug. I blushed harder than I ever had before.

“Thank you,” I said before I made it inside the car.

“So how was your day today?” he asked as we drove.