Private Emotions – Invitations (The Private Emotions Trilogy) (2 page)

“Ronnie was on my side? It certainly doesn’t look like that from where I am sitting.”

The waiter came over, took our wine order and gave us the menus. Ethan must have visited here before because he did not even look at the wine list and just indicated to the waiter that he should bring his usual to the table.

“I know, and I’m sorry about that. You see, Mark and I have known each other from the time we were playing softball together in school.” That would explain the picture on Mark’s desk, but how did they come to reunite after all that time? “Mark is a good friend and we kept in touch over the years. Now that I have a book coming out on relationships, we found ourselves together in the same place for the first time in years.”

With a lump in my throat I said, “Um, that’s great, but where did I come into the picture.”

“We got to talking about my affinity to...um...well there really isn’t a name for it. I sometimes help out female power-types get in touch with their feminine side...”

“Thennn, that would make you an escort of some kind?”

“No, Em, I am not an escort, but I...”

“But you just said that you help women get in touch with their feminine side.”

“Yes, I did but...”

“Well, that doesn’t exactly qualify you as a social worker does it?”

“No, it doesn’t but...”

“Based on my experience escorts cannot have a true relationship. They aim to please because that is their job. It is a business arrangement between two consenting adults and nothing more. It is a physical exchange without feelings or commitments.”

“Emily, I treat those women with the respect and admiration that they deserve for the time that I am with them.”

“Oh okay, so you’re an ethical escort.”

“No, I do not belong to an agency. You’d be surprised at how many women have an issue with letting themselves go, especially since they all seem to have the weight of the world on their shoulders.”

“Sooo, you’re a freelancing, ethical escort.”

“No, I am not an escort. Escorts are paid money. My payment is not in that way...”

“So you’re a tax-evading, freelancing, ethical escort.”

“No! Stop it. Wow! Fuck. You are one intense woman. Actually...I am starting to feel a bit turned on now.” He grinned at me with his sparkly smile and twinkly eyes. Fuck. Damn him for looking so perfect.

“Don’t change the topic, Mr. Sterling. So what does all of this have to do with me?”

“I was talking to Mark about this, when the subject of you was brought to the table.”

The waiter returned with what looked like a very exclusive bottle of red wine. He filled our glasses and waited for us to place our order but Ethan asked that he give us a few more minutes as we had not yet looked at our menus.

Ethan tipped his glass in my direction, “Cheers, Emily, to you and to your White Dress.” Oooouuu, he was smooth, I had to give credit where credit was due but I was not about to let him switch the topic that easily.

“So, how does living across from me play into this? Was this some sort of way of getting closer to me?”

“Actually, the funny thing is that my apartment was being redecorated and Mark mentioned that your building had a temporary opening for a while, at least until the new tenant moved in. It seemed not only a good fit, but yes it allowed me to ‘conveniently bump in to you’ that day on the stairs.” He paused and lowered his eyes to the menu in my hands. “Perhaps you should have a look at the menu?”

I took a few minutes to make up my mind but finally decided on the steak dish. I was sure that a place like this would have top notch chefs, so I was happy to try something different. Ethan looked at the menu briefly and knew that he would be sampling the restaurant’s veal. Hmm, I wondered just how much these women were paying him for his social skills. It must have been a lot since it allowed him to be regular visitor at a place like this. If he was a regular then he had to be really good at...

“Emily, I’ve been wondering something and tell me if I’m out of line for even mentioning it.” I wasn’t sure what he was going to say but I wanted to know what was on his mind so I did not interrupt him this time. “I’ve been doing this for awhile for various women in the position of power and I would be honored to work with you for nothing in return.”

I looked at him wide-eyed. Was that supposed to be the offer of a gentleman? On which planet was a woman supposed to feel flattered by a statement like that? “That’s a very generous offer, Ethan, and I am sure that there are thousands of women out there who would jump at your proposal but I am no one’s charity case.”

He must have seen the look in my eyes that told him I felt uncomfortable with his statement. “It’s not that I’m doing this as a favor, I just think that you could use a guide into this new world that you are trying to discover. It is a world that I am very familiar with, Emily.” I bet you are, Ethan Sterling...I bet you are.

This was coming out of left field and I began to wonder just what this thing was that we had between us. My mind was screaming for me to run the other way but my legs were rubbery and the fact that I really did enjoy Ethan’s company didn’t make it an easy option.

“Ethan, I appreciate the offer and I guess I could let you help invade my senses with new things but I am not sure this arrangement will be the right thing for me.”

“I understand you may be apprehensive but at least think about it, Em. It’s not like we are signing contracts. Anytime you think that this is not for you, and I do mean anytime, just walk away from it. The choice is entirely yours.”

I looked at him with a blank expression and responded in a sales call tone. “Oh, don’t tell me...‘Try your amazing product. You aim to please. If I am not fully satisfied I can cancel my recurring commitments at anytime. No questions asked. I even get to keep all the bonus memories created within the trial period’. Great! This is exactly what I need to fall in love and live happily ever after, Ethan!” It was the first time I had seen Ethan laugh so hysterically that the couple at the table close to ours turned around to see what could have possibly cause the commotion.

Still smiling, he said, “You crazy woman and yes, it is somewhat like that when you think about it but please, do think about it, Emily. I know that I can make a difference in your life.”

“Normally, I would just shoot down an offer like that...”

“You mean more than you already have?” I continued my sentence without entertaining his comment.

“...but okay, I will consider your proposal.”

“Oh, just so that you know, I come with a satisfaction guaranteed certificate.”

“Of course you do. I would not expect anything less from you, Ethan.”

The waiter returned with our order and placed the napkins on our laps.

“This looks incredible. Not a bad choice of location for dining out.” He smiled at my comment and nodded in approval. The aroma of the steak captivated my senses and I took my time to savor every morsel of food. The meal was cooked to perfection and all the other divinities on my plate were to die for.

“You do enjoy your food, don’t you, Em?” He grinned at the display of bliss on my face. “If you think this highly of the main course then I can’t wait to see your reaction to the desert. It’s definitely going to take you into an ‘M’ moment. I can assure you of that.” Oh wow. Desert. ‘Desert’ was one of my favorite words of all time.

“I am sure that if this dish is any indication of what’s to come then the desert will be heaven.” We continued to enjoy our meal over pleasant conversation at least until Ethan dropped another bomb into the mix.

“There is one other thing, Em.” He once again had me wondering what he was about to say.

“Oh you mean there is more?”

“Yes, I’ll be moving out in a couple of days and I will be having a housewarming party in a few days following that. I would love it if you attend, that is, unless you are still mad at me?” That would explain the boxes that I saw in Ethan’s apartment. They weren’t his books, they were his things packed in preparation for his move. How convenient that he had his fun with me and now he was off to continue his party with someone else in another location. Once again I was the one left picking up the pieces. I can’t believe that I was facing this again.

“Oh, I see.” It was all that I could say to hide my disappointment.

“I will be less than half hour away so if you accept my offer and we continue where we left off, then coming over would not be a problem.” No, it would not be a problem IF I accepted the offer. Sigh.

“I still need time to think about it, Ethan. The dynamics of being in that type of relationship with you is new to me and I am not sure I want that type of arrangement.”

“I understand. Please do take your time to consider it and I will be only a phone call away.” Ethan’s proposal was a difficult one to say no to because, Ethan the man, was difficult to say no to. I knew the answer that my heart was shouting out but my head was whispering a different message. I did not want to decide now. I just wanted to enjoy the rest of the evening with a man that I hoped would see me as more than a potential student. “So shall we order desert?”

The desert was my ultimate favorite. A warm double-chocolate brownie with Baileys flavored ice-cream on the side. OH. MY. GOD. This desert was the best thing that I had ever tasted...ever!

“So, what’s the verdict? Is it any good?” He knew that he had asked an obvious question but he was always entertained by my responses when it came to deserts.

“Are you joking? This desert is so good I feel like bursting out into song. Wow.” I believed my comment met his expectations. Ethan started laughing which attracted the same cold glances from the very posh couple beside us. “Seriously, this is amazing.”

We continued to chat for a while as we finished the last of the wine, then Ethan signaled for the check. We left Au Chanté in better spirits than when we had arrived, which was always a good thing.

The drive home was a quiet one, neither of us felt like talking as we both wanted to enjoy the remaining time with each other in silence.

Ethan turned to me and said, “You could come to my place for a nightcap if you like? I promise to behave myself if you do.” Of course, he could. I just was not sure that I could say the same.

“Thanks for the invitation but I think that I will call it a night. I really enjoyed the evening, Ethan. I was not sure that having dinner was the right thing but I am glad that I did.”

“I am glad that you did too, Em. Oh, before you go, it would be great if we could spend our last night as neighbors having an early dinner at that new place on Locket Lane. Interested?”

“Sure, sounds good and it’s my treat this time.” I leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss good night then closed my door behind me.

I slipped out of my dress and fell into bed. The only thought that occupied my mind was, should I or shouldn’t I? How could I allow the man that I was falling in love with be my guide and not get my heart shattered in the process? This was just so typical. Of the millions of men on the planet, who did I end up falling for? Not an ordinary man with an ordinary job, noooo, that would be way too simple. I happened to choose an extraordinary man with extraordinary social activities. Fuck, I sure knew how to pick them.

At least an hour had passed and I still could not sleep. I have been warned about men like Ethan time and time again from friends and especially from my therapist. Should I follow my head and end it with him or should I throw caution to the wind and just take it one day at a time? I have been cautious all my life and although it has helped me in my career, it has not worked as well in my love life. Then I remembered a quote by
Narcotics Anonymous
, ‘
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result
.’
That’s great but what if doing something different was the more insane option? Sigh, and I thought making dresses to impossible deadlines was difficult.

The next couple of days went by in a blur. I could not even remember doing anything out of the ordinary. Each time I left my apartment I felt a little sadder. The movers were taking boxes of Ethan’s things away and soon I would no longer have the convenience of him living just down the hall from me. I couldn’t explain it but knowing that he was so close was like a comfort blanket for me and I would miss that feeling.

In those two days I did spend a lot of time thinking about his proposal to let him be my guide. Perhaps I should give it a go and like he said, I could walk away at any time. The question is, would I be able to walk away?

The new restaurant was much more casual than Au Chanté but to be fair, any restaurant would feel casual when compared to Au Chanté. I wore a simple blue dress with capped sleeves and a short hemline, while Ethan wore dark pants and a light grey shirt for the occasion.