More than Just Sex (19 page)

Practise matching your speech to the way she is playing with her glass or your movements to when she adjusts her position in her chair. You can subtly test whether you are in rapport or not by making a deliberate movement yourself and see if she moves at the same time. Cross your legs and if she reacts, reach for your glass and see if she does, but don’t take a drink. Wait and see if she does, then take a drink and see if she does the same. These are all subtle ways to gauge if you are in natural and powerful rapport together.

Staying on that note, but getting back to you and the cute girl at the bar, to truly master the seductive arts you also need to learn how to use fractional rapport hooks. This is the very cool stuff… assuming there is a good fit, then this is out and out ‘pulling’ stuff, plain and simple, and with full intent. Please be warned: these techniques work, so only use them when you are really interested!

HOOKING THE G.o.D. (GIRL OF DREAMS)

What you are able to do with powerful rapport hooks is hide the fact you are using ‘secret’ and ‘covert’ techniques and also get her really wanting your personal attention.

A friend of mine is a genius at using these hooks. In fact, he’s so good that he once went into a bar and, against all the odds, you will never believe who he managed to pull using this skill alone. Now, he’s not the best-looking guy, and he’s certainly not the wealthiest, but he is incredibly gifted with language and that night he astonished everyone, even me. I had always thought that the ‘really’ successful models like the one he pulled were way out of the reach of the common man like you and me, but when she looked him in the eye, pouted and told him she had always wanted to see the view from his hotel – the only view was of the train station across the street – I saw exactly how powerful building fractional rapport can be in action. But you seriously would never believe what happened next…

The idea of fractional rapport is to offer your ‘date’ your complete attention for a short period of time and hook them in, but with an incomplete story or piece of information. Then you take the story away from them and your attention, too. This leaves the person you are talking to wanting more and craving all your attention again.

You have in effect opened a little subconscious window of deep curiosity. Now, the other person will automatically absorb anything you drop into that open window, and especially if it is an embedded command, which we’ll get to soon (and you thought I wasn’t going to teach you those). You can succeed with any woman you want, as long as you master these techniques now, but please remember the two words ‘ethical’ and ‘meaningful’.

Before I teach you how to do it, I bet there’s a part of you wondering who the model was. And another part is
really curious about what happened next. While the story is completely true, it’s incomplete and the point I think is also well made, because most people know a guy who’s a bit of a jerk with women, constantly playing hot and cold, yet who is consistently surrounded by them. At first it makes no sense to you, but without knowing it (in most cases) they are using fractional rapport hooks. Now you too can enjoy great success with this method, and you don’t have to be a jerk about it.

That guy and the gorgeous model went on to have a long and meaningful relationship before it came to a natural end. And I have just closed the window of curiosity. Well one of them anyway and I’ll leave you wondering who she was. If I ever meet you I’ll tell you, how’s that?

OK, let’s say, for example, that you have struck up a conversation with a woman in a bar, and you’re getting along well. You’re paying full attention to her language, you’ve asked her questions about her life and now you’re telling her a little story about yourself. Now, if you see that she is enjoying herself and engaged in the story, what you can do is find a way to just pull back from the situation. Perhaps you could pretend to be distracted by something or act as if your mobile has gone off and you’ve received a text. So as not to appear totally rude, tell her that there’s a bit of an emergency at work or with a family member or friend.

Now the window of curiosity is open. You can choose to apologize and ask for her phone number, so that you can get a chance to talk again (I have never known this not to work), or, if you want to press on at the time, you
can begin the conversation again. If you want to be really clever, then begin it from the story about the reason for the text or call and not where you left off. Part of her will want you to finish your previous story. Curiosity is curiosity, however it is created.

Then find ways to make your date ask you questions, and she will become completely hooked into both you and the story.

Using fractional rapport hooks is almost like play fighting with a dog over a piece of rope. You give them a little slack and they latch on, but then you pull it right back in. IT’S INSTINCT! It’s also easy to do, and it’s one of the few techniques that are just about impossible to spot from the point of view of the other person. It doesn’t feel like a game; it feels real, and that is the secret to building great rapport: it has to be real, at least on the face of it. Got it? Good!

THE COUNTER-INTUITIVE
MUST DO
!

Once you have built rapport you MUST break it. I know this sounds totally counter-intuitive but the penalty for this is a touchdown in the ‘friend’ zone. Once you are in the dreaded ‘friend’ zone there is no way back so you have to get this right first time round. I’m sure you know exactly what I am talking about, you get on great with a girl but she just doesn’t see you ‘like that’.

There are many ways to break rapport and you should never be insulting, but you must do it. The most drastic form of rapport break is to excuse yourself from the conversation
and walk away, but of course you run the risk of someone else engaging with her before you make it back.

Playful teasing, making fun of her or gently challenging her are all brilliant and keep her on her toes and feeling almost as if she has to prove herself to you.

You:
‘I bet you’d be a nightmare girlfriend…’

Her:
‘No I wouldn’t!’

You:
‘Really, how come? What would make you a good girlfriend?’

Do you see my point? Good!

You’re ready for more… this is where we gather pace, so hold on tight!

We’re getting into the dark arts of persuasion now, and some of what you will learn here could be considered very manipulative. Like almost any tool, it can be used for good or used to pursue your own selfish ends: the choice is yours. Obviously, I will not be there to personally police your use of the techniques but let me give you a warning. Used with the wrong intent, these techniques do have a tendency to backfire, big time! And remember if you want to avoid any BBB (Bunny Boiling Behaviours) you better make sure you take only AA-A (Authentic Attraction-Action)

When you use them wisely and meaningfully, the results are amazing!

Following on from building rapport and using fractional rapport hooks we will now look at the technique of anchoring. This is a more advanced, incredibly powerful and simple-to-deliver technique of psychological patterning.

CREATING POWERFUL INVOLUNTARY RESPONSES

Put simply, anchoring is a deliberate application of the Pavlovian reflex – a conditioned involuntary reflex action researched and introduced to psychology by Russian scientist Ivan Pavlov. The core of his experiment (as you may already know) was that he rang a bell and simultaneously offered a dog some food. The dog saw and smelled the food, and started salivating. After repeating the process of ringing a bell, offering food and getting the dog to salivate a few times, he continued ringing the bell but stopped giving the dog food. The result was that when he rang the bell the dog started salivating. By always ringing a bell while offering food, he had created a conditioned involuntary salivation reflex in the dog.

All very well, you might think, but what has a puddle of dog drool got to do with your love life? Well, the same conditioned reflex can be created in a girl (without the slobbering), or in anyone, for that matter – only now it is called anchoring and it can be applied to anything you choose.

I am going to keep this incredibly simple. No, you don’t need a bell and some food. Effectively, what Pavlov did was to create a psychological connection in the dog between the sound of the bell and the anticipation of food.

What you are going to do is create a conditioned ‘involuntary’ connection between her feeling good and, well… you! Now, I have seen this done where the only goal was to get the girl into bed and if that is your sole motive, then you are going to have to work out the exact formula
for yourself. As you know, this book is about gaining and maintaining a meaningful relationship with the G.o.D, so to that end, here’s exactly what to do.

The key, as with so many things, is in the description. You are going to be building a ‘conditioned involuntary response’. Let’s break that down with some definitions:

In case you are wondering if you have any of these ‘anchors’ or ‘conditioned involuntary responses’ set in yourself already, the answer is undoubtedly yes! I have never and will probably never meet you, but the answer is unequivocally yes!

So which of the following applies to you:

• Do you turn round when you hear a distinctive car exhaust note?
  
• Do you look up when you catch a glimpse of a beautiful woman?
  
• Does a particular song instantly take you back to a time and place?
  
• Does a particular perfume remind you of your ex or your mum?
  
• Do you see a policeman and instantly feel guilty?
  
• Does the smell of a particular drink turn your stomach because you overindulged in it? I still can’t face Jack Daniels, and that was 16 years ago now!
  

All of the above, and thousands more like them, are unconscious anchors. When they happen you just can’t help yourself from having an involuntary response, which of course you don’t have to think about. They are not conscious or thought-through responses; they are instant and instinctive. You have virtually no control over them, and that is exactly what you are about to learn – how to create really powerful, positive ‘conditioned involuntary responses’ in her to you!

This does, of course, require you to have done all the other things first, and be in a position where you are
actually in rapport and talking to a girl that you think is a good match and is showing signs that she likes you. You have checked her RACK (Real, Authentic, Could be Keeper) and you both want to take it further, so here’s how to make it very easy for both of you to head the way you want.

Step 1: Let her feel good

Get her talking about things that interest her and she feels passionately about. If you share her interests and passions then so much the better, but think about the kind of ‘state’ you want her to be in. You know already that all human behaviour is a direct result of your ‘state’ of mind at the time, so if you want her to think positively about you, it’s a good idea to keep her in a positive frame of mind. That sounds so obvious, but you’d be amazed the number of guys that forget this and go off trying to impress a woman by talking about themselves and the size of their… well, whatever.

Talk to her about the things she likes and the things she wants. You are not going to deliver them, and please don’t put yourself under pressure to do so… well, not yet, anyway. It is the ‘state’ that we want, here. Just as you like to talk about you, she likes to talk about her… it’s simple, really. Then… and this is the crucial, cunning, clever bit.

Step 2: Anchor the feeling

Every time you see the girl light up with delight, smile, laugh or just feel damn good for any reason at all, you touch a specific place on either your body or hers. If the place is on her it will be the most effective, but don’t be invasive.
Her shoulder, elbow or the inside of her arm are all great spots. In this way, you are planting an anchor (the ringing of the bell while offering food). If you want to turn the heat all the way up and you think you can get away with it without laughing, you could mask you touch by saying something like, ‘It’s a great feeling, isn’t it?’