More than Just Sex (20 page)

OK, let’s say you’ve touched her elbow each time your conversation has made her feel especially good, and you’ve done it three or more times already. The anchor is more than likely set.

If you now touch that very same spot on her elbow the same way you touched it on the three previous occasions (applying the same amount of pressure), she will have a ‘conditioned involuntary response’. Suddenly and unexpectedly, she’ll have all those same wonderful feelings that were there when you planted the anchor on her in the first place. They will rush back to her without you having done anything except touch her elbow or wherever it was. In other words, you just rang the bell without offering food, and she started to salivate. God, I hope you get that that’s a metaphor, and you’re not running around bars with a bell and a plate of sausages!

Step 3: Spread the happiness

Now, if you do this when you begin to talk about yourself, or especially if you can start to say ‘we’ when referring to common things, you will begin to map all those good positive feelings, which she has about holidays, successes and dreams, right across to you and there is nothing she can do about it even if she wanted to!

You will have taken all those positive feelings, anchored them and then transferred that emotion right across to you, and it will all be completely involuntary. In short, she won’t be able to help herself!

I am not for one second suggesting that you use any of this stuff purely for your own pleasurable ends, but I know people who are really good and can plant different anchors for different feelings all over her body – an anchor for laughter on her shoulder, an anchor of excitement on her elbow, an anchor for feeling romantic on the back of her hand and an anchor somewhere else for feeling horny… on her knee. You get the idea. But like I said, there is no way I would encourage you to do any of that kind of deliberate MAN-ipulation, would I?

Before you go off prodding and poking girls in bars around the world, I have to tell you that anchoring is not confined to touching alone. You can anchor in any representation system (visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, olfactory and gustatory). You can anchor to the tone of your voice, or to specific words or phrases. Watch any talented stand-up comedian at work, and you will know exactly what I mean. They start the set by delivering a joke and getting a laugh. Then, over the course of their set, they keep looping back to the same phrase, or even simply the same intonation, until they are able to just make a move or a sound, or say a key word, and they get just as big a laugh as they did when they set up the whole thing earlier. That is an anchor!

A catchphrase is an anchor. It’s not really the words (remember, only 7% of meaning comes from the words), it’s
the way those words are delivered that trigger the emotion anchored to them.

RECAP!

Remember you’re mapping her good feelings, so that she transfers those ‘good feelings’ to ‘feeling good’ about YOU.

Headwork

Check it out for yourself. Pick your favourite comedy catchphrase and, in your head, deliver it in the voice of your least favourite person on Earth. Kind of loses its power, doesn’t it? The words are the same, but the power is gone. Then (just in your head again) deliver the same line in your
wet-Tuesday-afternoon, really-bored-at-work voice, and finally put it back to all its comedy glory and say it aloud.

The words haven’t changed, but the feeling they generate has very definitely changed. It’s the same with anchoring. Over the course of a conversation, your goal should be to set up an anchor that you can fire off reliably at will that will make her feel good about herself and therefore you. Take it any further than that and I think you are crossing a line, but of course that’s up to you. You have been warned, remember BBB (Bunny Boiling Behaviours) follow if you’re not taking AA-A (Authentic Attraction-Action).

Any state can be anchored in any representation system, so I’ll leave the rest up to you.

Fieldwork

Practise setting anchors where it doesn’t matter. Next time you are socializing, see if you can anchor a response to something you do or say. See if you can anchor a friend to make a gesture or a movement, or use a phrase, just by repeating it enough times to build up a connection. In short, before you go out and use this for real, practise setting anchors and getting good at it. It’s not hard, but it does take a little practice.

It is, however, important not to overuse the anchors you have planted, or she will simply become insensitive to them. Ring a bell ten times without offering food, and the dog will eventually stop salivating. The key, like anything, is to pay attention to her and her responses and act accordingly.

PULLING POWER

Next you are going to really boost your pulling power with presuppositions.

Before you begin to think about whether you are going to try building rapport or anchors first, and way before you actually start putting it all into practice for real, you also need to know about and use presuppositions.

Presuppositions are some of the most widely used ‘mind-tricks’ when it comes to making it easier for the girl to ‘realize’ what it is that she really wants. They shift attention from something (seemingly) unimportant, as it has somehow already been agreed upon, to the (seemingly) important, which of course isn’t really that important at all. It’s intentional sleight-of-mouth magic.

Let me give you a very simple example. In order to understand the question, ‘Would you like another drink here or to go elsewhere?’ she has to accept the presupposition that accompanies the question. Which is obviously that you will be having another drink somewhere and that it will be together. It will be either ‘here’ or ‘elsewhere’, but either way there will definitely be a drink involved and it will definitely be with you.

Presuppositions can also be used in ordinary sentences to gently stack things in the direction you would like them to go. Of course, if she really doesn’t want another drink, or doesn’t want to spend another minute in your company, there is not a lot you can do about that. You are not learning
to influence people against their will; you are learning how to guide them in your direction.

OK, we’re going to get a little technical for just a minute, while I teach you some cool psych stuff. There are basically seven types of powerful presuppositions… but before you read them, just go back and reread the opening paragraph of this section again. It’ll make much more sense in a minute. You don’t need to worry about what they are all called, just allow the idea to sink in for now.

Type#1: Binds of comparable alternatives

‘So do you want to meet me again later in the week over lunch, or for coffee? Either way, I’d love to carry on this conversation. Sound good to you?’

What’s the presup? Easy – that you will meet again this week.

‘Would you like to dance now, or wait until the next slow one?’

What’s the presup? Easy again – either way, you will be dancing together.

Type #2: Cause and effect

‘I love the way this music just
makes
you want to dance.’

What’s the presup? That the music has an effect on her desire to dance.

The key cause-and-effect words are ‘
makes
’, ‘
because
’, ‘
if
’, ‘
then
’, ‘
as
’, ‘
since
’, and ‘
so
’.

Type #3: Resistance-breaking patterns

Here are two mini-patterns using time distortion – binds of comparable alternatives and humour – to break a girl’s resistance to getting together with you. I know it sounds REALLY cheesy out of context, but stay with me on this…
it works!

‘Won’t it be great AFTER we’ve gone out together and laughed and felt comfortable together? Then you can just look back at it all and think to yourself: that was one of the best dates I’ve ever had!’

‘I don’t know, when we go out, whether it will be a really fun adventure or just an incredibly enjoyable good time, but it would feel great to laugh this much every day, wouldn’t it?’

Here’s an example using a combination of the above techniques and thought binding. And you know what… it doesn’t even matter if you tell her that you’ve read a book on how to do this. If you get the tone and delivery right, then even though part of her knows you have got this from a book and that you are using psychological techniques, another part of her will still not be able to stop herself. These are ‘conditioned
involuntary
responses’, remember?

You:
‘You know, I can tell you are a woman with great taste!’

Her:
‘How do you know?’

You:
‘Because you laugh at what I say. [Big smile, so it is really obvious you’re joking.] And the more you laugh, the more you’ll recognize just how much you enjoy it. Do you look forward to being with someone just like that? You know, LOOK FORWARD to having the best time when we go out!’

Her:
[laughter]

Now you’re going to anchor it.

You:
‘See… just like that!’

You:
‘Seriously… haven’t you ever met someone, and you just knew you were going to like this person [point to yourself – the anchor], because you could just STOP, and IMAGINE BEING TOGETHER, feeling totally comfortable, and absolutely connected, for all the right reasons?’

Her:
‘Yeah’
.

You:
‘Well, see? So, as you think about it like that… ’ [fire off the anchor by pointing to yourself again… then just keep chatting]
.

Here’s another example of a great use of presupposition. After finding out what the girl likes to do, talk with the assumption that you’re going to do it together.