It’s Still Complicated: …because I Am Still Waiting (10 page)

I said “I understand how much you love me. I know you have to do a lot of wrong things to keep our relationship right. I know you have to lie to keep our relationship true, you have to hide a lot of things to show me that you love me, you have to forget your dreams to make my dreams come true, you hide your tears to make me smile. You have to lose a lot of thing to get me, and I respect it, but sweet heart this is the way a relationship works and we have to lie a few times to keep our relationship alive…” This probably gave her the strength and she said “I lied not because I was afraid that my mom would shout at me hearing that I have a boyfriend, but because I never wanted to lose you.”. This proved the depth of her love for me and I respected her for this.

28th May, 2012

This time we planned to celebrate her birthday in Pacific Mall, Tagore Garden. This mall has nothing new but she had a habit of visiting the places where she had never been before so she wanted to go there. Unlike all her other birthdays, this time I had a different surprise for her. I asked her to buy a top for herself as a birthday gift to keep her busy for a while and after insisting a lot she started searching for a top for herself in the different boutiques available out there. I was waiting for her to reach the top floor and she kept on visiting the shops of the ground floor. I suggested to her that she start from the shops of the top floor and she moved around the top floor slowly and entered a shop where she found something of her choice. There were different beautiful tops of different brands and after choosing a purple top she asked “How is it?” “You look beautiful in purple try it, I’ll wait for you outside,” I said.

She tried it and it was a perfect top for her, as always she looked gorgeous in purple. After that we came outside the shop and as we were walking towards the escalators we were just talking to each other about where to have the lunch. Suddenly we reached the middle of the top floor where I stopped her and said “Close your eyes and don’t open until I say so!”

She closed her eyes and said “I am feeling very awkward closing my eyes in a public place, what are you trying to do?” I didn’t speak for a while so worried that she opened her eyes and she saw me, I was bent down on my knees in front of her and gave her a red rose in front of the whole public inside the mall. I did not have any lines to speak but I could utter few words “Will you be my life forever?”

She smiled, accepted the rose and said “Yes, I will.”. This way I made her smile and gave her another reason to love me.

June 2012

While doing our MBA we have to do an internship in any company of our choice for 8 weeks. The college also provide campus placements for the internship purpose but for that we have to give the interviews and get selected for the internship. I went for the interview in a very renowned company Aditya Birla Money, where I was asked a question which I could not answer.

The interviewer said “You have come to give an interview in a broking firm and you don’t know the meaning of Beta, you have already completed half of your MBA and you have zero knowledge about the share market. Even if I select you, you will not be able to perform, sorry you are not selected,”

I said “Sir, I know I have completed half of my MBA but we haven’t selected our field of study, the choice of which will be given to us after the internship. As the subjects related to the stock market will be taught to us in the next year, I might not have the knowledge, but I challenge that now I’ll do the internship in a share broking firm and let you know that I have enough knowledge after I complete my internship,”

The interviewer laughed at me and said “I’ll wait till you are back!”. I took it as a challenge and I called up the Sale Manager of Sharekhan Limited, where I had my D Mat account. I told him that I have to do internship and he called me for an interview, in which I got selected and I started doing my internship there.

11th June, 2012

It was the first day of my Internship at Sharekhan Limited. I was strictly on time and wearing formals. I entered the office and the Sales Manager showed me the way to the training room. As I entered the training room the students already sitting thought that I was the trainer but I when I sit beside them they understood that I am also a trainee. The trainer Mr. Jaipal Singh, entered the room and introduced all of us to each other. I was the only trainee from IIPM rest all were from different colleges, and the trainer started asking us few questions about the stock market before starting the training to know whether the basic concepts were clear to us or not. After asking questions to the other trainees when they could not answer the trainer used to ask me the questions which I replied very well. He praised IIPM and of course me for the knowledge I had. The internship started very well.

After few days, while having a regular conversation, Megha informed me that she has to go to Singapore for some religious functions with her cousins and family relatives and will have to be there for 10 days at least. She knew that she is going too far from me, so it will be difficult for me to live without her. I asked her if she could stay back but she wanted to go. I didn’t forced her much to not to go and I said ill miss her a lot.

07th July, 2012

She was about to leave for Singapore and I knew I won’t be able to see her for next 10 days; actually when you are with your partner the time runs so fast that 4 hours seems equal to 1 hour, but when you are away from her time goes so slow that one hour becomes 4hours and a week becomes a month.

I wanted to see her before she leaves Delhi so I asked her to meet me at Kohat Enclave Metro station. I was on the way to Kohat and I was driving my bike very fast, in a hurry to reach her so that we could spend some more time with each other. Of course a single minute meant a lot to me at that time as she had come for few minutes only. While driving at that time I hated all the red lights and those people who were driving too slow as they were wasting my time which I could spend with my sweetheart. I was about to reach Kohat Enclave and suddenly I found myself hit by two cars from both the sides, I felt like nothing has happened and started the bike again, I tried to change the gear but I couldn’t, damn! I was hurt; my left leg was paining so much that I couldn’t change the gear but I knew I had to meet her and for that I had to do all that I could. I somehow gathered the energy to change the gear and reached the destination, but before she could see me I wanted to check my jeans whether everything was alright or not. Because I did not wanted her to get worried about me and I knew if she gets worried then she would not be able to enjoy her vacation, I parked my bike on the service lane and I stood up nearby, but I wasn’t able to stand properly, maybe I have got a dislocation of the bones or some hairline fracture or maybe it’s just a strain or sprain but whatever it is I have to hide it from her and walk properly in front of her.

I somehow managed to walk towards her car and I did not have any expression of pain on my face, she asked me is everything alright and I smiled and said yes everything is alright. I held her hand and I kept looking at her. A few seconds after looking at her, I felt like all my pain went away, I felt liked nothing had happened. She was started feeling shy as I was continuously looking at her. She smiled and said please don’t look at me like this, and I wanted her to see more and more as her smile worked as a painkiller for me.

I smiled and said I want to spend my whole life looking at you sweetheart, would you allow me to look into your eyes and feel your love for me. She smiled mischievously and said “No, you are not allowed to look at me, so turn your face and stop looking at me,” I kept my right hand on the back of her neck and my left hand on her right hand, I started moving close to her and I kissed her forehead, moving my lips from her forehead to her lips I said “I want to be with you forever and I know you too want to be with me forever,” I kissed her and that kiss was just like a drink of heaven after which I have to go back to the earth and spend a month without her, yes 10 days were just like a month for me.

She hugged me and said “I’ll miss you and I’ll call you if I get cellular network in the sea…” Soon I realized that once I had been to cruise earlier and the cell phone would not be working when the ship is offshore and we could get the network only while the ship is nearby some port. So it was another bad news for me that we would not be able to talk to each other and even if she gets the network somewhere the cousins and family relatives will be around her so maybe she would not be able to call me, but I asked her go give me a call if she could. She knew how difficult it was for me to survive without talking to her for so many long days. She said don’t worry sweetheart I’ll take care of myself and you too take care of yourself. The coming 10 days will teach us the importance of each other and while I am enjoying the trip you will enjoy the internship and be happy. Is that okay? She asked me. I said yes, I will take care of myself and will wait for your call. She said I Love You and after I replied her back, she left.

09th July, 2012 (Day 3 without her)

Wondering how is she I was on the way to my office, I dint knew when I reached the office and I was inside the training room. I was physically present in the training room but mentally I was lost somewhere else, maybe I was worried about her, or maybe I was feeling alone without her, suddenly my trainer turned his face towards me and said Isn’t it CK?? I said umm, yes. He said you are lost somewhere else today isn’t it CK?? And you replied, yes. Everyone burst out in laughter.

The best thing which I liked in me was, I was just like an open book, and everyone everywhere who knew me knew about my relationship, I never hide anything because I never could. As every time I had to talk to her on phone and there was no use of telling people that it was someone else not a girlfriend, it’s better to tell a single truth in place of thousands of lies. The other trainees in the training room knew that I was badly missing my girlfriend and that is why I couldn’t concentrate and whenever I used to look at them in between the training sessions they used to smile at me.

Oh God! is this the Love fever, I was completely out of the control of my mind. I tried calling on her cell phone after the class was over but it was not reachable.

12th July, 2012 (Day 6 without her)

Despite knowing the fact that there is only One percent chance that she would be able to call me up, I always kept my phone with me and that too on ringing mode. Even inside the training room sometimes my phone use to rang and the trainer would get angry on me, but he knew that I was not behaving properly since last few days so he kept mum on this. When I was at my home my phone rang and when her dad’s number flashed on my phone’s screen I rubbed my eyes again to make myself believe that it is she. I received the call and I could hear the voice which I was missing from last 6 days which were equal to 24 days for me. I asked her about her well-being, and she said she is fine and enjoying a lot. Though I was angry on her and I wanted to shout on her for not calling me, but I already knew the reason behind it so I did not show my anger.

Did you miss me? She asked.

Of course I did my Jaan. Did you?

No. I didn’t as I was not free to miss you, she replied mischievously.

Though this type of reply when I expect something else irritates me, but when she replies in such a way and then smiles and being asked by me the same question again she gives the expected reply, I become happy.

I asked her again did u miss me Jaan?

Yes, of course I do sweetheart. All the cousins are around and I have to call my dad also so I need to disconnect the call.

Okay! Do take care of yourself, do call me if you get the network again, and I’ll miss you a lot, Love You.

Okay! Ill, you too take care, I’ll miss you too, Love you Too. I was dying to listen to these three magical words Love You Too in her melodious voice and I felt very relaxed after this conversation with her. It worked just like an oxygen mask in a planet where there is no oxygen and I was dying without it.

16th July, 2012 (Day 10)

As usual it was an office day, I just completed the work and about to leave the office when she called me up. Hello! I am back. She said.

Though I was eagerly waiting for her call and was dying to listen to her voice, I behaved in a very awkward manner. I said I don’t want to talk to you. When she asked the reason, I said, because you called me only once in those 10 days which were equal to 40 days for me. I knew the reason behind her not being able to call me up but I was very much alone these days and I somehow got angry on her without any reason and that’s the worst part of my behavior. I am short tempered and then I don’t realize what all I did in last few minutes when I was angry on someone.

I shouted on her but after a small argument on the very same topic she somehow convinced me to meet her the next day. This was the best part of our relationship, whenever I became angry on her she talked to me with so much of love that I melted like ice. I was happy because it was rare from her side that she asks me to meet her, otherwise I was the one who always asked her to come to meet me.

17th July, 2012

The next day I was waiting for her at Kohat Enclave, as soon as she was with me, my eyes were seeking my hearts permission to see her from top to bottom so that they could get a rest from the pain of not being able to see her from last 10 days. I was spellbound sitting next to her in her car, I was busy in looking at her and a few drops of happiness came out of my eyes. She wiped those tears and asked, “Why do you love me so much?
Pagal hai kya?”

I replied, “
Haan hoon pagal, tere pyar mein…”

She smiled and hugged me, and I kissed her on her lips without even thinking that we were in a public place and someone might see us doing this. When I am with her I forget everything except one thing, that I am with her and I love her a lot. She then started telling me about her tour, the people she met, the things which she did in those days, the weather and all about how she enjoyed those days, but I was busy in looking at her sweet innocent face, her smile and her black silky hair coming on her face and she was helping them behind her ears with her fingers.