It’s Still Complicated: …because I Am Still Waiting (7 page)

Now while sitting inside the car she pulled out the topic of me blaming her for being a characterless woman, I said to her that I had already apologized for it and I would never repeat it again but when a girl starts an argument on something you never know when it is going to end. She then said something which a guy would never like to hear, she said “If I am characterless, every girl in your family is characterless!”. This worked as a catalyst for making me angry. I couldn’t digest her blame and I slapped her for this.

“A real man never slaps his women; he is always expected to love her, as a girl always sacrifices everything for her man.”

I was full of guilt and I realized that I am from a family where my father never did this to my mom, how can I do this with Megha. She started crying and said “My father also gets angry with my mom, but he never slaps her.” I apologized to her for this and I promised I would never do it again, but she was so hurt that she did not want to talk to me after this.

I went home, locked myself inside a room, slapped myself and cried a lot. Not only had I disrespected myself in front of her, I also lost respect for myself. This was the worst mistake of my life which I never wanted to do but while I am angry I never realize my words and actions. Someone had truly said “Never promise anything when you are very happy and never take any decision when you are very angry about something.”

I tried to call her several times but she did not receive the call, I messaged her but she did not reply. I called Kavya to ask her to pick up my call but even then she did not pick up my call. I was damn worried, broken, frustrated, hurt and tense about this mistake. I never wanted to lose her, she was my life and she meant everything to me.

I realized this time that I loved her more then I loved anyone else in this world, and I considered Love as being next to god. The next day I called her and she said she didn’t want to talk to me anymore. I tried to convince her but she disconnected the call. On the third day I again tried to convince her that I didn’t realize what I had done in anger and I am ready to accept any punishment that she wanted to give me for this. She made me promise that I would accept any punishment which she gave me for this. She said I would have to touch her feet and say sorry for this mistake and I also had to promise not to repeat this mistake ever.

“
When a women touches a man’s feet it’s okay, so why can’t a man do the same?”. Then I had two choices with me now “Either I can let go of my male ego - win and lose my love forever, or be man enough to touch her feet and say sorry and be with her forever
”. I accepted her punishment and I touched her feet the next day when we met. She was happy that I dropped my ego and was man enough to realize my mistake and I had done something which someone else would have never done to get her back. She hugged me for this and we were happy once again.

The Dreamer’s Fantasy Come True

September 2010

L
ike any other couple we both used to talk over the phone till late at night. Sometimes we used to talk till early morning. One September night, we were talking to each other on the phone and it started raining outside. I could hear the sound of raindrops falling on the sheds of my flat and I went to the balcony to see the rain.

I said “Megha, it’s raining outside, do you love rain?”

She smiled and replied “Yes I do,”

I, being a bit pessimistic said that I didn’t like rain because it creates traffic and causes bike tires to slip while driving. You cannot go out of home neatly dressed as it creates a lot of problem while walking on the roads. She on the other hand being an optimist said she loved to walk in the rain, and that she wanted to dance with me in the rain.

But the rain also induced a romantic feeling in the both of us. God had given us all the gift of imagination, so that whenever we read or listen to something, we start visualizing it. We both started to visualize our honeymoon after our marriage. We were going towards the hotel in a hilly area with an empty road, surrounded by green trees on both the sides. I was driving the car in the pitch black night; she was sitting next to me. She is dressed in complete white and me in a black suit, we both were alone and no one was there to see us. Suddenly it starts raining and I stop the car, we both smiled looking at each other and got out of the car leaving the headlights on. We played her favorite song “
Pehla nasha, pehla khumaar, naya pyar hai, naya intazaar….”
I held her right hand with my left hand and kept my right hand on her waist, her left hand was on my right shoulder and we started dancing. I could clearly see the raindrops falling on her eyebrows and then slowly falling down to her cheeks and then on her soft rosy lips; she was looking towards me and I knew she is feeling shy but I couldn’t stop myself from looking at her wet, glossy lips. I went close to her, by then the music stopped and there was complete silence, so I went ahead and kissed her. I could feel her so close that I just wanted to be there for few more minutes, but she was shivering because of the cold or may be because of her nervousness. As a gentleman would, I opened my jacket and gave it to her. We both went back inside the car and drove toward the hotel.

Suddenly the rain stopped and both of us snapped out of our dream with our open eyes.

“Would you always love me like this?” she asked. “Yes I will,” I replied.

“Promise??” “Promise!”

“
Achha
, what after we went inside the room of the hotel…what happened then…” I asked her.

She was feeling shy, she said to me coyly “You tell…” “Umm… We both have reached inside the room, I locked the door from inside, you started walking towards the bathroom to change your dress but there was no light in the room so you stayed in the room itself. We searched for the candles and lit them. I asked you to change the clothes in the room itself if you felt comfortable. You smiled and said “
Ok but you will not look at me till I change my clothes.
”. I said okay and you turned your back to me, you started taking out your earrings and then your white gown, I was looking at your wet back and you somehow came to know that I am looking at you, but you did not react as you knew that your mine now and you don’t have any problem with me looking at you. Now you started taking the gown off your legs. You left the gown on the bed and I could see you wrapping your hair with the towel. I started coming close to you…and I touched your shoulders and…”

“And…” she asked.

“And the lights are on and you have to change your clothes sweetheart!” I laughed mischievously.

She also started laughing with me…

We made up a plan to meet at my home next day, my Mamaji and Mami had to leave to attend a marriage in Rajasthan and Ravi has to go to the office.

In the morning I woke up early to see that the plan to meet Megha was in working order. I saw Mamaji and Mami getting ready to go to the marriage and soon they were off. Mamaji told me to take care of the house and they left. Now it was Ravi who had to leave, I woke him up and told him that it was 10 am and he had to leave for his office. Ravi woke up shouting “Shit I am getting late!” and hurried towards the bathroom. I was feeling very happy and I smiled thinking that the plan was working out perfectly. Soon Ravi took his breakfast and left for the office. I got ready now and was waiting for Megha to come. She called me and said the guards were asking me which house number you are going into, and they wanted her to make an entry in the register. I asked her to enter a fake name and fake number in the register. She did so and came to my house. Before letting her in I ensured that no one was looking towards the door and I took her inside, and locked the door.

Now it was me and her, all alone, total silence. She was looking stunning in her black top and blue jeans. We both went towards my room, I showed her my almirah, my laptop and the note book in which I used to write the poems. Now we both were sitting next to each other and smiling. I wanted to kiss her; I held her hand and kissed it. She smiled and pulled a pillow to put it on her lap. I laid my head on that pillow and told her that I had been waiting for such moment when I put my head on her lap and she put her hand on my head and slowly raked her fingers across my hair. She did the same and then I kissed her on her head.

I slowly went close to her now and hugged her, she was breathing slowly and I could hear her whispering “
I Love You
!” in my ear, I replied “
I Love you too
!”. I adjusted the curtains of my room to prevent the light from coming inside. I then kissed her on her lips; I could feel her warm breath while kissing, and we both were lost in each other now. We kept on kissing each other. Looking at her I smiled and I started with a kiss on her head - a kiss of love, then a kiss on her eyes - a kiss of care, then a kiss on her cheeks - a kiss of affection, then a kiss on her nose, a kiss of trust, then a kiss on her lips - a kiss of romance and then finally a kiss on her neck, a kiss of seduction. We both were now the world of each other. I could feel her smell and it was mesmerizing me. Every lady has a different smell, and that smell makes a man go down on his knees to get that women. I then kissed each and every cell of her. We both were now totally on each other’s hands and that was the most romantic day of our intimate relationship.

After few hours which we spent together she had to go home. She dressed up and started walking towards the main gate, I held her hand and pulled her towards me and again we both were silently standing in front of each other, I kissed her again and then she left. I was feeling very different now as I had given myself to her forever. I called her and said “After everything which we had today I am totally yours, and I will always be,” She was very happy to listen to this and replied “I am very happy to have you in my life; I promise I’ll always be yours and yours only!” This was the happiest day of my life.

But you never know what the time and fate has decided for us, “
Whenever I am very happy, something bad happens
”. A month after this we were caught by the police kissing each other in a car. The policeman asked me to come out and threatened me by saying that he would take both of us to the police station and call our families and tell them what we were doing. We were very afraid but suddenly I got an idea ‘Money makes the mayor go!’ is the famous adage”. I bribed the policeman. This solved our problem and we were free to go from there.

After that Megha was very introverted; she never wanted people to know about us. But my life on the other hand was an open book for everybody to read and except for a few very serious things I never hid anything from anyone in my family. Megha got angry and hurt thinking about that incident and she asked me not to meet her in the car like this. I agreed because I always wanted to keep her happy. We started meeting each other in the nearby malls and parks then.

23rd January, 2011 (My Birthday)

My cousin Preeti was in Delhi, in 2011 for her CS exams preparation. Megha already knew all of my cousins so I asked her if she didn’t mind me taking Ravi and Preeti along with us to celebrate my birthday. She was okay with it and we all planned to go to Rajaouri Garden for my birthday party. Rajaouri Garden is a nice place to do some shopping, and I personally like that place because I find it quite calm and beautiful.

Megha was waiting for all of us at the Kohat Metro Station in her car. Me, Preeti and Ravi came to Kohat on the metro and then we had to go to Rajaouri in Megha’s Car. Of course me and Megha were a couple so as she was driving I had to sit in the front seat of the car on her left side and Ravi and Preeti adjusted themselves on the backseat. Megha and me had a habit of changing the FM Stations while we are inside the car; sometimes I didn’t like the songs which she played and sometimes she didn’t liked what I played, but it was a sweet and sour type competition between us - who could change the maximum number of stations!

Finally we reached Rajaouri; we barely knew what all restaurants were there so we didn’t know where we could have our lunch. I asked all of them what they would like to have, though they had only two options. One is to have a proper lunch in a restaurant which includes food like “Naan, mixed vegetable korma and daal makhni” or the other option is to have a pizza party. As usual Megha said “I would have anything, I don’t have any problem!” Preeti, Ravi and I were pizza lovers. So we found the restaurant named Papa John’s Pizza, which was new to all of us, as none of us had ever been there. We all settled in a table for four people. As usual I handed over the menu to my sweetheart to order as she knows what I liked. She asked Preeti and Ravi about their choices and ordered the pizzas. I was a bit confused about the taste of the pizzas in that restaurant as I had never been to any pizza restaurant except Pizza Hut and Dominos. But the pizzas were good and we all liked them.

After the pizza party now we had to go home, so we left the restaurant and were walking towards the basement where the car was parked. I was feeling very awkward while walking towards the basement, as I wanted to hug Megha but Preeti and Ravi were there so I couldn’t. I was just thinking of any excuse with which Megha and I could be alone for some time. I got many ideas through which I could be alone with Megha for a while, it was my birthday after all and I wanted to hug my girl and feel happy but then I thought that I would send Preeti and Ravi home when we reach Kohat and ill stay with Megha in the car for a while. I would be able to spend some time alone with my Love.

Now we reached the car, and I was wondering how come none of them had bought any gift for me. I was expecting a gift from all of them, I was like a kid in that sense – I loved getting gifts on my birthday. Megha opened the front door of the car and took out a birthday card and gave it to me. It was a long card which had 12 small cards in it, each card having a different message. While looking at the messages on the card I opened the door of car and was about to sit inside, but Megha and Preeti called me towards the back of the car. I went there and saw that there was a cake inside the back of the car. Megha and Preeti both smiled at me and said “
Tujhe kya laga koi gift nahi laya tere liye
?”