It’s Still Complicated: …because I Am Still Waiting (2 page)

As the time passed, three months after the course started, in November, we finally got a PC at Mamaji’s house and with an internet connection. I had my id on Orkut as ‘Chandra Kant Jaisansaria’, yes it was my original social networking id among the multiple id’s which I made when I was in hostel.

In 2–3 days of making the Orkut id I started a search; searching for the first crush of my life - Priya. I found her profile, sent a friend request, and she accepted the friend request.

“Hi! How are you?” I said.

“Hi! I am fine what about you?” she replied.

“I am good. Where are you now days? After you left the school in class 7th, I couldn’t see you even I went outside your house many times but…”

“I shifted to Calcutta with my family and I am doing my studies here,” she replied. I got her cell number and called her. We soon became the best of friends. We used to talk for hours and I told her that she was the first romantic ‘Crush’ of my life. She laughed!

“Oh really?” she replied.

“Yes! I always followed you after the school till you reach home. Sometimes I purposefully came outside your house in the evenings just to see you and I was a big, like a diehard fan of your smile. I even used to come to school on rainy days because I knew that you would come and I would be able to see you smile,” I said.

Oh! My god, you are such a…: she replied. “Such a what?” I said.

“Nothing, we are good friends now and we were destined to meet again,” she said.

I was very happy to get her back in my life, I thought she might be the one who was meant for me and I promised her that I would always be her good friend and that I would always be there for her.

Then enters the so-called villains, a few of my former class mates from my hometown started sending her friend requests and messages and they even started teasing her about me. They somehow came to know that I was talking to her. I know why they did this, they did this just to separate us as she was the most beautiful girl from our school and everybody had once had a crush on her and they were jealous that she is talking to me! Priya got angry with me thinking that I had told them everything about us and she became very upset. That night I couldn’t sleep a wink the entire night thinking that I had lost her again. But I couldn’t let her go like this; after all, she was the one whom I liked the most. I still remember the day when I asked my mom “Mom can I marry a girl of some other caste?” and my mom replied “Inter-caste marriages are not allowed in our family, why do you like someone?” and I smiled.

The next day I called Priya and somehow convinced her that I didn’t say anything to anyone and that I don’t have any contact with anyone of them. “Why would I do so”, I asked her, “I never want to lose you…” I took cell numbers of those idiots from her and called them up. I told them to stop disturbing Priya. They all came on a conference call together and told me that, it was because of me that Priya was not replying to any of them. They threatened me and told me that if she did not talk to them, they would beat me whenever I was back in town. I was afraid of them because there were many and I was alone, but somehow I was happy that after all I was clear of my charges and if Priya was with me then I could handle them. I was ready to get a beating from all of them but I vowed that I would not let them disturb her again. Both of us blocked all of them on our phones and Orkut and soon they were not able to disturb us.

23rd January, 2009

It was my birthday and I was damn excited to celebrate it in Delhi. After Priya wished me ‘Happy Birthday’ at 12 o’clock sharp at midnight, everyone else at my home did the same. I was happy to get a call from Priya, It made my day thinking that I was so important for her that she was awake till 12, just to wish me. As soon as the phone stopped ringing and everyone had slept I sat up on my bed quietly. I was unable to sleep in the complete silence; suddenly, my mind had no thoughts running through it but a tear came rolling down my cheeks. I was crying because somewhere deep down I was hurt, it was a feeling of being alone in the presence of many.

Megha

A
s I have said before, I am bad at remembering dates One day while going through the friend suggestions on my Orkut page I wondered if I could search for Megha, who had become my friend during my time in class 8th. I clicked on the search tab and wrote ‘Megha Jain’ their but I couldn’t find her. I don’t know why, maybe it was my destiny which made me do so, I wrote Megha Agarwal on the search tab and my eyeballs were stuck on an incomplete profile, among all those results. Her profile did not have any DP, it said she was from Pitampura and was a student of DAV school. She was just 3 kms away from me, and I couldn’t stop myself from sending her a friend request but instead of sending a friend request I left her a message “Hey! I am new in Delhi and I don’t have many friends here, unlike other guys of Delhi, I would not disturb you ever if you are not interested but I promise that I will never hurt you. I just want a simple friendship with you, if you don’t mind”.

Late that night I went on my bed and kept asking myself ‘Why’? Why would I send a friend request to someone who doesn’t even know me and that too to a girl having no DP on her profile? I called up Priya and told her about all those things and she dint react to this. Maybe because she was not my girlfriend. The next day when I came back home after my classes, I was in a hurry to check whether she had replied to my message or not.

Yes! There was a reply, she said “Hi! I haven’t got any friend request from you yet.” “Oh I tried it; but I am not able to send it because of some problem in my PC. Would you please send me a friend request”?

I got a friend request and added her. “Hi! How are you?” I said.

“Hello! I am fine and you?” she replied

“So, you don’t have a DP on your profile,” I said. “You too! Don’t have a DP on your profile!” she replied.

“Umm, I don’t look smart enough and I never get photos clicked unless it is required for some paper work,” I replied.

“Never mind, friends should have a beautiful heart, the face really doesn’t matter,” she said.

“Yes! You are right, and I hope we carry on our friendship for a very long time,” I said.

She was suddenly offline now, and I got a bit worried about what would have happened to her that she had gone without saying a good bye. I kept thinking about the conversation between us the next day, I was worried. I kept thinking if our conversation had gone ok? Did I say something which she may have not liked and went offline? The questions were hitting my head hard from inside. I became restless, and I was going online again and again to check whether she is there. I was trying to figure out the other possibilities because of which she must have gone offline.

Suddenly a light flashed on my screen indicating that I had received a new message. “Hi! Sorry I went offline without a Bye, my mom called me up to help her in the kitchen,” my new friend Megha had messaged me. There she was… my heartbeat slowed down and I relaxed.

“It’s okay, there is no sorry and no thank you in friendship… and by the way in which class do you study?” I asked her to continue the conversation.

I am in class 11 and I have my exams next month and I will not be able to come online so frequently, if you don’t mind can I have your cell number…” she said to me.

Its 9…, when can I expect to get a call from you?” I asked.

Very soon! Right now I have to go, bye, take care…” She went offline and I was very happy, I called up Priya and shared the conversation with her and she dint react, as I was expecting her to react. I thought she might be in love with me and would get angry with me. But she did not, as she considered me just a friend. Even I did not bother about her now as I was happy that for the first time in my life a girl had asked for my cell number.

Three days had passed since Megha took my cell number and there was no call, no text, and no message on Orkut. I was worried but I knew the reason behind it, I was just waiting for her call so intensely that I couldn’t keep my eyes off of my cell phone. The third day my phone rang in the evening, it was an unknown number and it looked like a VIP number. I felt that it must be her.

“Hello!” I received the call. “Hi! It’s Megha,”

This was her voice; it was damn cute like the voice of a child, and my ear drums could not believe that they had heard something which would immediately give someone a feeling of relaxation. I felt like my heart had slowed down, the time had stopped and I could feel like a new blood was circulating through my veins; it was as if I could only hear her voice. Her melodious voice could have made me do anything for her. I felt like I was hypnotized by her voice.

“Are you there! Are you listening! Hello…”

“Yes, I am listening; after all I was waiting for your call for the last 3 days…” I said in a slow tone.

“Oh! So sorry, I was busy studying and right now I have got time to talk to you because I am on the way to my institute for my accounts class,” she replied hurriedly, walking towards the institute.

“Ok. So you take tuitions to study accounts; I was very good in accounts in school and scored 72% in the subject,” I replied getting confused about what to talk to her.

“That’s nice, what was your average score in 10th& 12th?” she asked.

My mouth suddenly felt dry and I choked, I couldn’t utter a word thinking, “
Beta ab tu gaya, ise sach pata chala to ye kya sochegi
?” But somehow I forced myself to speak the truth because it was a new friendship which I couldn’t start from a lie.

“I scored 55% in my 10th and 72% in the 12th,” I said in a sad tone, “I hope that you don’t mind making me your friend, even if I am not good in my studies,”

“No ways yaar, marks doesn’t matter, even I got 47% in the 10th and what matters is your behavior with me; after all everyone is not born with intelligence,” she sweetly accepted me for what I was and she hung up the phone saying that she had reached. But she did promise to call me later.

I was expecting a call from her while she would go back home from the tuitions, but she did not call me up, and instead messaged me and said, “Hi! I am going back home but won’t be able to call you, but we can chat through sms…”

“Hi! No problem, by the way, if you don’t mind me asking. Do you have a boyfriend?” I know I jumped very soon on this topic but I could not stop myself from asking her.

“No, I don’t believe in all this, do you have a girl friend?” she asked.

“No, as of now I don’t have any. But I have a best friend Priya with whom I share almost everything,” I said.

“Where do you stay in Delhi?” she asked me.

“I stay in Rohini, and basically I am from Rajasthan and my family lives in Rajasthan only,” I added to keep the conversation going.

“So you stay in a PG?” she asked.

“No, I stay at my Mamaji’s house,” I said. “What do you do?” she asked.

“I am currently doing my B.Com from SOL and go for tuitions of some subjects in NGPA,” I replied.

“Ok. Will talk to you tomorrow as I am tired and have to help mom with her kitchen work. Catch you later. Good Night!” she said.

“Good Night? I mean come on… the conversation just started and…” but I had to reply to her Good night and wait for the next day to talk to her.

Now I know you might be thinking what the hell has happened to Priya? Where is she? Did I talk to her also? Yes. I talked to her but the conversation between us became less and less, day by day and soon it was an old story for me.

The Night was very long; time was so slow that if I could have thrown a needle in the night it would have dropped on the land in the morning. But luckily I had Ravi with me, with whom I shared everything. He was very surprised to see that I that I had made a friend through Orkut. According to him, this was only possible in the movies.

Unhone hath bhi nahi badhaya tha Hum unki taraf badhte chale gae Raaten hui lambi

Din ghat te chale gae Aakhir hua wahi

Jin galiyo me hum jana chahte the ek arse se Un galiyo ki taraf hum badhte chale gae…

“Bus Train
aur Ladki, in teen ke pichhe kabhi mat bhagna
.” I have heard this many times and somehow I stopped myself from sending her a text the next day. Maybe because I knew she was in school and that she would call me in the evening while going for her tuition.

And as expected the call came in the evening. This time she told me that she had a cousin named Sakshi. Sakshi seemed very beautiful the way she described her and as I was single and maybe looking for a girlfriend, she told me that Sakshi would be perfect for me to get into a relationship with. I was not at all interested in Sakshi as I had started liking Megha, so I told her that I was not looking for a girlfriend as I had already started liking someone. When she asked me “Who is she?” I somehow changed the topic and I asked her to meet me, so that we could get to know each other better. She agreed to meet me and she said that she would also bring Sakshi with her, as she was not comfortable in meeting me alone. We decided to meet at Pitampura Metro station the next day.

I was very happy and damn excited to meet her; I ate my dinner hurriedly and went to the bed early that day, because I somehow wanted, time to run fast and waited for the day to come. But I couldn’t sleep the whole night as I spent all the time thinking of her. I don’t know when I fell asleep… but I knew that I was still thinking of her.

09th February, 2009 (The First Meeting)

My phone rang, and as expected it was her.

“Good Morning! Are you still sleeping?” she asked me.

“Good Morning. I don’t know when I fell asleep, but I am happy that it’s you who woke me up,”

“Really! Just woke up and I called you to confirm that we are going to meet today,”

“Yes, I remember. I am just getting ready, by what time you will be at Pitampura Metro station?”