How to Rise Above Abuse (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (36 page)
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Authors: June Hunt
A victimized person typically exhibits several of these characteristics:
A—Ambivalent
Experiences conflicted emotions about pain and pleasure and gives mixed emotional signals to others
B—Betrayed
Expects rejection and is unable to trust or have faith in God or others
U—Unexcitable
Lacks passion for both good and bad, and merely seeks to be free of conflict with others and has a flat response to circumstances without emotional highs or lows
S—Self-absorbed
Consumed with self-protection and unable to show sensitivity to others
E—Emotionally Controlled
Disengages from true feelings and becomes blind to the feelings of others
D—Dependent on Self
Seeks to be in control because of a reluctance to depend on God or others
The constant cry of many victims is…
“My soul is in anguish”
(P
SALM
6:3).
The words we say to others don’t necessarily reflect the words we say to ourselves. Both “other-talk” and “self-talk” reveal what is in our hearts, but what we say to ourselves has the greater power over our lives. If we rehearse negative statements in our minds, we will build prison walls in our minds that will keep us in bondage to a low sense of self-worth.
Some of the most frequent and fervent statements made by victims of abuse are listed below. Place a check mark (
) beside the ones that apply to you.
I am a worthless and unlovable person.
I am bad if I feel angry.
I am better off with bad love than no love at all.
I am defective.
I am obligated to bring about change when I see that it is needed.
I am responsible for the behavior and feelings of those around me.
I am terrible because I hate my victimizer.
I am wrong for having needs.
I must be dependent on others because they are wiser and stronger than I am.
I must be unlovable if the people I care for reject me.
I must keep peace at any price.