Hard To Love (8 page)

When I woke later, machines beeped randomly, the sound filled
the room. I looked up to find Nick sitting in the corner by the
window and Cassie at the head of my bed, holding my hand, fast
asleep. Tears trickled down my cheeks.

When I sniffed,
Cassie’s head shot up her first response being.
“You’re going to be okay.” She smiled and hugged me.
“Mason?” I asked.
“He’s around.” She smiled.
I nodded, then drifted back to sleep.

When I woke up again, it was early the next morning, but it
was still dark outside. Cassie and Mason had left. Nick was fast
asleep in the chair next to the bed. His legs were crossed and up
on the bed, his arm alongside mine. I laced my fingers with his,
and he jolted awake. His head turned, and he looked up at me.

“Hey.” I
whispered.
“Hey.” He replied giving me a sweet smile then removed his
legs, leaning forward. “How are you feeling?” he asked brushing
the hair from my face.
“Better.” I choked back the tears. “Thank you for staying. You
didn’t have to.”
“Don’t mention it.” His voice was soft. “I wanted to make sure
you weren’t alone.” He kissed my hand.
“Are Cassie and Mason still here?” I asked.
“I think they went home. Mason mentioned coming back,
though,” he said, clearing his throat. Just then there was a soft
knock on the door, and Mason walked in. Now when I looked at
him, I saw a different man. No matter what he had done in the
past, I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to hide what I felt for him. He
was going to know. Whether he liked what I had to say or not, I
was going to say it.
“Can you give us a minute, Nick?” I asked.
“Sure.” He stood, kissed my forehead and caressed my cheek.
My heart fluttered like crazy, and I was suddenly confused again.
What was going on here? Nick stirred something in me that I
didn’t want to admit. I watched Nick leave, and then looked over at
Mason.
“What?” he asked, looking at me funny. I stared at him for a
long, silent moment. His attitude changed quickly.
“Why do you do that?” I asked.
“Do what?”
“Put your needs aside.”
“I don’t put my needs aside.” Mason pulled his hand away.
“Trust me.” He laughed.
“There you go again,” I chuckled, “hiding your real feelings.”
“And what are my real feelings, Lauren?” He sat in the chair
next to the bed. “Please enlighten me.”
“You tell me, Mason,” I replied.
He shook his head angrily. “I should go so you can rest.”
“Why can’t you just admit that you have feelings for me? That
you aren’t the jerk that everyone thinks you are,” I demanded.
“You’re being ridiculous.” He stood.
I scoffed, “No, I’m being serious, Mason.”
“I have to go.” He stood.
“Fine—go. But I want you to tell me that you don’t care about
me. Tell me you have no feelings for me.” I stared at him. He
wouldn’t look me in the eyes. Instead he fidgeted and shifted
nervously. “If you don’t care, then I’ll leave you alone.” I sat up.
“Say it!” I demanded.
“No.” He shook his head and turned away from me. I could feel
the nerves rattle in me.
“Then I need to hear you say it, Mason,” I replied, relieved.
“Why? Why do you need to hear it? You already know. Why do
I have to say it?” He said keeping his voice quiet, he looked down
at me, eyes narrowed, lips pressed tightly together.
“Because it doesn’t feel real unless you admit it.” I grabbed his
hand. His eyes started to water, but he never said anything. “Why
can’t you let everyone see the good in you? Why do you always
play the bad boy?” The tears were about to win. “I know that you
were the boy who saved my life that day at the river. Why did Matt
take the credit for that?”
“Because.” He pulled away gasping.
“That’s not an answer, Mason,” I replied.
“Stop!” He turned away.
“Why can’t you just talk to me?” I cried.
Mason spun around on one heel, anger releasing as he spoke.
“Because if I showed that side of me, then everyone would be
expecting it, and if I screwed up, which I often do, I would have to
stare into the sea of disappointed faces,” he said angrily. “I don’t
want to be reminded of how much of a disappointment I am to
everyone.” A tear trickled down his cheek but he turned away so
that I couldn’t see it. I ripped off the blanket and got out of bed,
grabbing his hand in mine, cupping his cheek with the other hand.
“Everyone, including your family, needs to see the good in
you,” I reminded him. “I am not disappointed.”
His eyes widened, and his jaw clenched tight. “I don’t care
about you, Lauren. Move on.” He pulled away, glared at me for a
long, painful moment, then walked out. It felt as though he had
shot me in the chest. Then about the same time my mother arrived
at the hospital in a panic. I could hear her in the hallway. I stepped
out of the room and called out to her. Her shoulders slumped, and
she charged over to me, taking me in her arms.
“What happened?”
“I’m fine.” I hugged her back.
“They said you almost drowned, Lauren. How did that
happen?” she asked. Tears streaked her face.
“I was wandering around the forest by the Harpers’ mansion in
the dark. I shouldn’t have been out there, but I wasn’t thinking.”
“Cassie said Mason saved you.” she said.
“Yes.” I fought the sob.
“He’s your own personal guardian angel.” She sighed.
“He is far from an angel.” I wiped my face. “Can we go home?”
“Yes.” She took my hand and we started the process of my
release.

Later that night I had to work. I arrived for my shift half an hour
early to talk to Mrs. Peterson. I let her know what happened the
night before just as a precaution in case anything happened during
my shift. She offered to give me the night off, but I had to keep
busy, so I refused.

“I’ll be fine
. I feel fine,” I assured her. “I just thought you
should know.”
“Well, thank you for the heads-up. You let me know if
anything changes,” she said, hugging me.
“I will. Thank you,” I replied.

It was Friday night and a busy night at that, so busy that the
next time I glanced at my watch, my shift was over. The shift
turned out better than the night before. Mrs. Peterson was happier
as well. Despite what had happened hours prior, I was feeling
good. The tips were pretty good too. Making my way out of the
restaurant, I waved bye to anyone who was looking.

When I got to my car, the cook from the other night was sitting
on the trunk of his car, smoking.
“Hey, new girl.” He nodded.
“Mike, right?” I said, slowing down. His head bobbed and he
smiled.
“A bunch of us are going to the bar after this, if you want to
come,” he said. I eyed him a moment, then looked around.
“Who’s the bunch?” I asked.
“I’m waitin’ on a few that are closin’ up.” He smirked.
I thought for a moment, and said, “Okay,” with a nod.
Probably not a good idea considering what I went through the
previous night.
“Where is this bar?” I asked, putting my things in the back seat
of the car.
“It’s over on Sixth Avenue. It’s called Shattered. Ever heard of
it?” he asked.
“Yep,” I replied with a smile. Finally, a place I could go where I
didn’t have to worry about fitting in, because the crew at work
weren’t high class members of social clubs or country clubs. I
wouldn’t be judged on my class or up-bringing. “I’ll meet you
there,” I said and got in my car.
“Sounds good.” He smiled and hopped off the trunk of his car,
putting out the cigarette with his shoe.
I had to stop at home and change my clothes before heading to
the bar. By the time I got home, it was eleven, and all the lights
were out. Quietly I made my way up to my room, grabbed my
silver off-the-shoulder top, a pair of boot-cut black leather pants
and my black ankle boots then left.

When I got to the bar, I walked up to the bouncer, and he
acknowledged me with a nod. I slipped past him through the door
he held open for me. The place was dark, apart from the disco
lights on the dance floor. The bartender looked me over, smiled,
then took my drink order. I looked around for Mike and the others.
Then I heard someone whistle, followed by an arm waving.
Everyone was over by the pool tables.

“Hey
,” I said, walking up.
“New girl, this is Sam, Kelly and Jennifer,” Mike introduced.
“Lauren.” I waved.
“Hey.” Everyone smiled and waved back.
“Are you any good?” Kelly asked.
“I’m all right, I guess.” I shrugged.
“You’ll play the winner of this round,” Jennifer said.
I nodded and sat on the bar stool, watching. It felt good sitting

here with a group of new friends at a new bar, playing pool, joking
around. It reminded me of my college days, when things were easy
and stress-free.

Their game ended, and I had to play against Sam and Mike,
with Jennifer as my partner.
“New girl breaks,” Mike said, chalking his cue.
I rolled my eyes and wondered if he was going to call me by my
real name anytime soon. I lined up the cue to take my shot and
bent over the table. I hit the balls on an angle, knocking two in and
scattering the rest.
“Nice.” Mike gave me a nod of approval. “You knocked in a
solid and a stripe. What are you taking?” I walked around the
table, looking for my next shot and chose the red-striped ball.
“Side pocket,” I said and took the shot. It went in swiftly. I
glanced up at Mike, who was smirking, lined up my next shot and
called the corner pocket.
“I like her.” Jennifer laughed. “I don’t even have to play.” I
missed the next shot on purpose. I didn’t want to appear as a show-
off on my first night out with them. Randomly, throughout the
night, patrons from the bar would walk up to Mike, taking him
aside. He then would excuse himself, returning fifteen to twenty
minutes later. I wasn’t sure what he was doing, but I figured it
couldn’t be anything good.
Then the DJ announced it was last call.
“This round is on me, new girl. Want anything?” Sam asked,
walking away.
“No, I’m good. Thanks,” I replied.
“You should come out with us again,” Jennifer said as she took
a seat next to me.
“Yeah, you are real good. Next time we are partners.” Kelly
giggled.
“Sure.” I smiled.
I walked out with them after closing time. Mike waved a cab
over, and then turned to face me.
“You should come out with us tomorrow,” he said, taking
Jennifer’s hand.
“I—I have prior engagements,” I replied.
“Bummer.” Sam faked a pout. “See you at work.”
“Yeah, have a good night,” I said, waving them off, then walked
down the plaza. When I got in the car, I pulled out my phone,
noticing I had missed four calls, all from Cassie. I checked the text
messages first.
11:45 p.m. Cassie: I am so excited for tomorrow!
12:01 a.m. Cassie: What are you doing?
12:10 a.m. Cassie: Hello? Lauren, why aren’t you answering me?

They continued three more times. It wasn’t as if I had been
avoiding Cassie. I just—needed a break. Well, that and the fact that
the music was loud and I didn’t know she was going to be texting
me all night. She was well aware that I wasn’t planning on going
to the club anytime soon.

3:01 a.m. Cassie: You scared me. I thought you were mad at me or
worse—DEAD.
3:05 a.m. Me: Sorry about that. See you tomorrow. I’m just in, so I’m
heading to bed.
3:10 a.m. Cassie: Okay. Night.

It was a relief knowing that I had the entire day to relax before
the night came as I stressed about the masquerade. Either the night
was going to be a lot of fun or it was going to be horrible. At least
there would be Cristal to keep me numb to all the drama that was
guaranteed to follow.

“Lauren
, are you coming down to eat anytime today?” my
mother called. I grabbed my black kimono sweater and slippers,
then trudged my way to the kitchen. My neck was a little stiff from
the accident. Resting was what I should have been doing last
night. “I see you were out late, again,” she said with a frown.

“Yeah some of my co
-workers invited me out.” I shrugged,
taking a seat at the table.
“Coffee?” she asked, holding a mug.
“Please.” I crossed my legs on the seat of the chair.
“I know you’re an adult, but I worry about you, Lauren,” she

said, placing the mug in front of me.
“I don’t mean to make you worry,” I replied.
“With the accident the other day—”
I interrupted, “I’m sorry. I know how that must have all

looked.”
“Do you have a problem with drugs?” she asked hesitantly.
“What—no!” I gasped, and then laughed. “You never have to

worry ab
out that.”
“Okay.” My mom chewed the inside of her lip.
“How about those eggs?” I asked, touching her arm. My

mother nodded, and then walked over to the stove.
“I’m heading to the spa at eleven. Did you want to join me?
Maybe they can work out that shoulder,” she said.
“Actually, I think that would be a great idea,” I replied, smiling.
“I could get my nails done too.” It pleased my mother to spend the
day together. Before cooking my eggs she walked over to the dock
where the phone was and called the spa to squeeze me in.

When we got to the spa, I had my nails done first, and my
mother went in for her massage. The same woman agreed to
squeeze me in before her next client. As I waited, Mrs. Foster
walked in. Instantly I tried to hide behind a magazine. That didn’t
last long because my mother was finished with her massage, and
she called out to me. Mrs. Foster’s head snapped up, and she
searched the room for me.

“Lauren
,” she said, walking over to where I stood.
“Mrs. Foster.” I tried hard to smile genuinely.
“Abigail.” My mother smiled and took over as she walked

clos
er. “So good to see you.”
“Yes, it has been too long,” she replied with a hug.
“You’re up, dear.” My mother urged me to slip away.
As I she opened the door for me to enter my phone chimed. I

Two exclamation marks must be urgent. I pondered a moment
about calling her right away or just waiting until I saw her later.
She was probably upset about a wardrobe mishap or something.
Ignoring her request, I undressed, leaving my clothes folded neatly
on the chair behind the screen in the corner of the room, then
climbed on the table, ringing the bell. As the woman walked in, my
phone chimed again.

“Sorry.” I winced at the masseuse as I wrapped the towel
around me and sat up.
“It’s fine,” she said, smiling, and waiting.
“Cassie, I am indisposed at the moment.” I said, annoyed.
“What’s up?” Apparently Charlie and Cassie had had a fight that
morning and he backed out of going to the party. I didn’t know
what to say to her to comfort her.
“I’m sorry, Cass,” I replied. “When I am done here with my
mom, I’ll come over.” It sucked to bail on my mother, considering
how excited she was to spend the day together. With a heavy sigh
I laid down again.

When I walked out to the lobby, my mother was still talking to
Abagail Foster. She spun around with a look of relief on her face. I
smiled as I stood next to her.

“I feel refreshed.” I smiled
, and then linked my arm around
hers. “Ready?” I asked, and she nodded.
“It was great seeing you again,” my mother said.
“Yes, you must come by the house soon,” Abigail said, hugging
my mother.
“Sounds good.” My mother forced a smile. “I’ll call you,” she
added as she walked away.
When we got outside I broke the news to my mother about
going to Cassie’s.
“That’s fine, dear.” She patted my hand. “Did Mrs. Foster seem
weird to you?”
“Define
weird,
” I replied.
“She doesn’t seem herself,” she said.
“I don’t know how she should be, so I can’t help you there.” I
shrugged. “Maybe you should take her up on her offer for the
visit.”
“Perhaps.” She shrugged. I dropped my mother off at home and
drove to Cassie’s.

When I arrived at
Cassie’s, her mother answered the door,
letting me in. “Hi Mrs. Harper is Cassie home?” I asked.
“She is in her room,” she replied with a smile.
“Cassie?” I said, poking my head in the door of her bedroom.
“Get in here.” She was sobbing on her bed.
“What happened?” I asked, laying my dress down on the chaise
lounge.
“He said I was too clingy.” She let out a wet sigh.
“What?”
“That’s what I said.” She shook her head and fell back on her
pillows. “It’s so ridiculous, the whole thing.”
“Men. They seriously need to come with a manual,” I said,
making her laugh before lying down next to her. “You know, your
eyes are going to look puffy from all this crying.”
“I know,” she grumbled. “I can’t believe he did this today of all
days. Why not wait until tomorrow?”
“There is no schedule when it comes to being a douchebag,” I
replied.
“Lauren,” she moaned.
“What? Sorry, I have no high opinion of any man right now,” I
stated then rolled onto my back.
“Well, with the way Mason treated you, I can understand why.”
She rolled on her side.
“We need some cucumber so we can get rid of those puffy
eyes,” I suggested.
“I’ll go cut some up.” She said, cheerfully.
“Shoot!” I gasped, realizing that I had forgotten to bring my
make-up bag.
Cassie gasped dramatically. “What?”
“I was in such a hurry I forgot all my make-up.” I sighed.
“That’s okay. I have a make-up artist coming here at seven,”
she said shrugging.
“I can’t—”
“Oh, shut up,” she said with a roll of her eyes, sauntering out of
the room. I got up from the bed and walked around her room
looking at the stuff she had collected over the past few years while
traveling.
When she returned, she placed the freshly cut cucumber on the
vanity table, then turned to face me. “Mom said dinner will be
ready in half an hour and you are welcome to join us.”
“Thanks,” I replied. It was still too early to get dressed, giving
Cassie and me time to catch up. I figured what better time to ask
about all her little trinkets and everywhere she has traveled.

After dinner the doorbell rang, and the butler announced that the
stylist had arrived. Mrs. Harper nodded, telling him where we
would be getting ready.

“Girls
, you go ahead first,” Mrs. Harper said, standing in the
doorway of the parlour.
“Good. We need more time to get ready anyway,” Cassie
snickered, walking in. “Devon, hi.” She smiled, walking over and
hugging him.
“Cassie darling, you are always a treat to dress up.” He smiled
and then gasped looking over at me. “Who is this beauty?”
“This is my girlfriend, Lauren,” Cassie answered.
“Wow, those eyes of yours are incredible.” He leaned in closer.
“Really, I’ve always found them to be so . . . boring.”
“Grey tends to do that, but with my magic your eyes will
sparkle, putting any lucky man in a trance.” He smirked and I
blushed.
“Where is the dress?” he asked, glancing at Cassie.
“Oh, it’s—”
“I’ll grab them,” I said, running out of the room. I had always
been uncomfortable with a lot of attention focused on me. I don’t
know why but once the attention was on me for any reason I panic.
When I returned, I hung both dresses over the arm of the sofa.
“Yours is the blue, I presume.” He smiled, looking directly at
Cassie.
“You presume right.” She smiled.
I watched as Devon put Cassie’s hair up in an elegant, loose
chignon bun, twisting in a few diamond clips. Then he added a
smoky look to her eyes in a deep blue to match her dress and a
vibrant red lipstick. When she was done, she grabbed her dress,
telling me that she would see me up in her room. I sat down and
Devon worked his magic. He added a smoky look to my eyes also,
in a silver shimmer that sparkled. Devon really was a master with
hair and makeup. He added tight curls to my long dark hair,
twisting a few strands up in the back with clear wire threading in,
some crystals to my hair. I thanked him profusely as I grabbed my
dress and left the room. Once I was with Cassie again, I looked in
the mirror and almost cried.
I looked—beautiful.
Cassie and I then helped each other get in our dress. There was
no way I was messing up my amazing hair style. I never let my
hair curl naturally because it always looked so messy. However,
what Devon managed to do tonight had me made me rethinking
that decision.
“Limo arrives in twenty minutes,” Cassie said, stuffing a few
things in her clutch purse.
“I’m so nervous,” I said, shaking out my hands.
“Why?” Cassie asked, turning to face me. “It’s not as if you
haven’t been to a masquerade before. You know what goes on.”
“I know, but it’s different this time,” I replied.
“How?”
“Well, half the town saw me fight with Mason at the club, and
the other half saw me making out with his brother, Nick.” I
groaned, thinking back.
Cassie rolled her eyes, and then took my hand in hers. “So
what? I have seen worse, and besides, you’re wearing a mask, so
unless you showed the town your dress, you’re incognito.” Then
we heard Cassie’s mother call up to us, letting us know that the
limo was here. My heart began to race.
“I’ll meet you there,” Mrs. Harper said, giving each of us a hug
as we left.
The driver opened the door for us as we walked up.
“Miss Harper,” he said with a nod. Cassie smiled, and then
climbed in first. “Thirsty?” she asked, grabbing a flute as I sat next
to her.
“Yes,” I replied.