Hard To Love (9 page)

The limo pulled up to the hall where the masquerade was being
held. The driver opened the door, offering his hand as I got out. I
stood on the red carpet leading to the front door, waiting for Cassie
to get out. As we walked up to the entrance, a woman in a deepplum and black gown spotted us and walked over.

“Cassie darling
, you look ravishing.” Both leaned in to air-kiss
and Cassie reciprocated the compliment to Mrs. Foster. “Lauren?”
She glanced over at me. “My goodness, you look exquisite.” She
air-kissed me as well.

She walked in with us then went her separate way. I fidgeted
with my purse as we made our way in through the open front
doors. A man dressed in a black suit with a silver bow tie and
white gloves nodded as we walked past him.

“Relax
,” Cassie said, taking my hand and pulling me close.
“I’m trying,” I said and forced a smiled. We slowly walked
around the massive hall. The orchestra was playing a slow tempo

as the guests began to arrive. I caught myself stopping and
listening with my head tilted, taking in the gentle sound. Then
Cassie hissed at me, and I quickly caught up to her. I stuck by her
side for the first hour after we had arrived, listening to Cassie as
she gossiped about the couples she recognized, even in their
masks. Mainly it was gossip about the scandals going on among
the high-profile families in Portland. A real bore, if you asked me.
Now I understood why my mother avoided these events. Most of
them spent their days drinking tea at the country club gossiping
about one another. This even was no different. It was just a
different place and different event.

Thunder rumbled in the distance, and the guests started to
trickle in from outside. I watched as Mrs. Foster scurried to the
front entrance and spoke with the doorman. He then slipped away,
and someone else took his place at the door. At some point after
an hour, I had lost Cassie and I had grown tired of the event
already. Maybe if I had brought an actual date, perhaps I’d feel
differently.

As I stood there scanning the masked faces, I realized that
Mason wasn’t among them. Disappointment set in quickly. After
the other night, I felt the need to speak with him about some of the
things that were said. Explain to him he didn’t need to choose, not
yet. There was no reason for an ultimatum—it wasn’t fair. I
realized that now. My feelings had controlled me for long enough,
and I had to be fair to him as well as myself. I spotted a server
walking around with flutes filled with Cristal, and grabbed a glass.

Slowly I backed into a corner, taking a moment to myself,
watching the crowd gather in groups; some laughing, others in
deep conversation. I was so lost in my thoughts that I did not even
notice Nick come up behind me.

“Evening
Lauren,” his said, as he slipped his arm around my
waist standing next to me. I jumped startled but quickly recovered.
I glanced over at him with a smile. Nick looked dashing as ever in
his dark-teal suit, a pale-teal tie and black mask; his blue eyes gave
him away immediately.

“
Evening, Nick.” A smile widened across my ruby lips, a little
relieved that I wasn’t alone anymore. “What gave me away?” I
asked.

“Do you want the obvious answer?” He s
miled, bashfully. I
looked away to avoid his stare. IT was awkwardly quiet now and it
was making me nervous so I just started talking again.

“Did you just arrive?” I asked
, looking over at him again.
“Yes,” he replied, stopping a server with a tray of filled
champagne flutes as she walked by. But before I was able to ask
him anything else, someone called out his name. We both looked
in the same direction as the man waved him over. “Excuse me.”
He said apologetically then took a few steps. Then he turned back.
“The dress is remarkable by the way.” As he walked back towards
me, he caught me by surprise when he leaned in close, his hand
caressing the small of my back as he kissed my cheek.
My breath hitched. Slowly he retracted and our eyes met. My
heart fluttered wildly and my cheeks flared red. It took several
minutes for the goosebumps to disappear. He then turned on one
heel and walked towards the man that called him over. The grin on
my face was hard to hide. It also didn’t help that he was constantly
glancing in my direction, smiling.
Why I continued to pine over Mason, when he was clearly not
interested was beyond me. It was easy to see how sweet and sexy
Nick obviously was. I pried my glaring eyes away from him for a
moment to look around for Cassie, only to catch myself looking
back at Nick. Every time I did, he smiled and I felt my cheeks burn
hotter every time.
Then, as I made my way around I spotted out of the corner of
my eye, on the opposite side of the room, I saw
him
. My lips
parted and my heart thudded in my chest. Mason was standing in
front of his mother, and it looked as though the two were having a
heated conversation. I watched as she continued to fix his collar
because it was unbuttoned leaving his emerald-coloured tie loose.
Mason kept slapping her hands away. Then on her last attempt to
fix his collar he caught her hand and held it. I was able to read his
lips. “Stop” was all he said, and then he let go. His mother shook
her head, turning away. It was evident that she was upset. My
eyes darted briefly towards the ballroom, a quick escape before he
spotted me. The orchestra’s tempo picked up and the guests started
to couple up as they walked into the center of the dance floor. A
heavy sigh slowly released through my slightly parted lips. Then I
turned to find Mason again, watching him and eagerly waiting for
him to turn and notice me, but he never did. A blond woman then
walked up to him, linking her arm with his, and together they
walked. My eyes fluttered profusely, and I felt the glass in my
hand begin to slip.
“There you are.” Nick caught the glass, taking it from me and
placing it on the table against the wall.
“Nick—” I gasped, my eyes filling with tears and I nervously
spun around to face him putting my back in Mason’s direction.
“May I have this dance?” he asked, holding out his hand. I
couldn’t help but smile and wouldn’t pass up a chance to dance
with him because of Mason.
“Yes,” I replied, accepting his hand.
With ease and perfection Nick glided me along the shiny dance
floor. At first my eyes were locked on his, and I felt a sudden
charge of electricity fill me. Nick excited me in a way I never
thought possible. He was charming, sexy and sweeter than Mason.
I needed to stop comparing them since there was no comparison.
The two brothers were as different as night and day and no matter
how hard I tried not to, my eyes caught a glimpse’s of Mason as he
roamed around the room, and my heart pounded. I couldn’t
believe how eager I was for him to notice me. Apparently, just the
thought of him seeing me drove my heart into overdrive.
“You’re distracted,” Nick expressed disappointedly. I knew I
should have kept my attention on Nick as he twirled me around the
dance floor, but I just couldn’t get my mind off Mason. I gave
Nick a thin smile as I thought of a way to apologize. “It’s Mason,
isn’t it?” He sighed, our pace slowing.
“I’m sorry, Nick.” I sighed, relaxing a little. “I know it’s
ridiculous of me to continue to pursue him even when I know he
isn’t interested but—” My eyes glanced away for a second and I
caught Mason’s stare. My breath halted and my eyes immediately
downcast, I pulled away from Nicks embrace. Mason stood
watching us with a crystal glass in one hand, and the other hand
stuffed in the pocket of his pants. Nick’s hands dropped to his side
as he turned to follow my stare. As usual, Mason had a smirk on
his face, a look that said we were caught red-handed. Dancing
with Nick was hardly anything for Mason to be upset about.
Nick didn’t stand around to watch.
“Nick—” When I looked back, he was gone. I cursed under my
breath, and was about to head towards Mason, but he had
disappeared.
“There you are!” Cassie said, steadying me as I lost balance.
“What is wrong?” She asked; a look of concern on her face.
“Mason,” I groaned, looking around.
“He’s here?” She sighed. “What did he say to you this time?”
She asked placing her hands on her hips.
“Nothing, he said nothing.” I gulped. “I haven’t even spoken to
him yet.”
“Yet? Lauren, come on, let it go,” she pleaded with me. “He is
selfabsorbed and a jerk he isn’t worth your time and effort.” I
shrugged turning away as my lips quivered.
“Why is it that I’m wearing red and nobody else is, Cassie?” I
asked. Cassie screwed her lips as my head tilted with curiosity. I
folded my arms across my chest.
“Nobody else wore red because it was usually what your family
wore in the past,” she answered. My mouth dropped and my eyes
welled, blinking a few tears out. “I’m sorry, Lauren. I should have
told you.” She hugged me.
“So he knew it was me, then,” I said, backing away.
“Probably,” she replied, biting her lip.
I pressed my trembling lips tight. “And . . . that’s what Nick
meant by
the obvious answer,
” I said recalling the conversation. “I
need some air,” I said, walking away.

The garden path was lit up with a canopy of bright white
emitting diode lights along the interlocking path. I walked halfway
down, took a seat in a dry spot on a bench practically ripping off
my mask to wipe the tears from my cheek. I should have been
more furious with Cassie, but I wasn’t. It had slipped my mind
that each family that did RSVP to these events chose the colour
that represented their family, ours was always red. I should have
remembered that. I buried my face in my hands. Then I heard
footsteps, quickly I wiped my face, looking in the opposite
direction of the couple heading my way. Other guests had the
same idea—a walk in the garden. As I got to my feet, I started to
follow, far behind, the couple up ahead losing them in the darkness
beyond the path. Eventually, I turned and walked back. I was
afraid of what I might find if I walked any further.

When I returned to the party, I grabbed another drink, took my
place next to a pillar in the ballroom and watched everyone else
dance and enjoy themselves. This time I wanted to make sure that
nobody crept up on me so I leaned back against the wall. I opened
my purse to look at the time on my phone; almost midnight. My
shoulders slumped. Where had the time gone? I hadn’t realized
that I spent that much time in the garden.

Then out of the corner of my eye, as I glanced up, I saw Charlie
walk in the door. I stepped forward and quickly scanned the crowd
for Cassie. When I spotted her, I started walking over, until I
noticed with whom she was speaking and then stopped short.

She was scolding Mason, and he stood there, staring at the
ground. My brow furrowed and I wanted to interrupt, but then
Mason’s face turned to anger and his arms flailed, followed by
some obvious heated words, then he walked away barrelling past
the people standing around. My eyes followed him to the bar,
where he grabbed a bottle of Cristal, then headed out the patio
doors. I looked back at Cassie, who stood there with her arms
crossed, shaking her head. It was too late to warn her about
Charlie. He had already reached her, grabbed her arm, turning her
around. I stood watching with envious eyes at the affection shared
between them. As they embraced I turned and walked away.

With a heavy heart and a big sigh, I grabbed a full glass from
the server and went out the same door as Mason. To give myself a
little closure, I needed to know how he felt about me, once and for
all. The worst thing was having feelings for someone without
knowing if the feelings were returned. I know he tried to tell me to
get over him but his eyes told me a different story. Cassie and
Nick tried to make me see it too but I need to feel it from Mason. I
walked along the path to the gazebo strung up with lights. The
sound of my heels gave me away as I approached.

“Stalking me again
?” he said, before turning to face me, his
smile thin. With all my power I refrained from saying something
rude in return.

“
I never thought I’d resort to that, but since you won’t talk to
me . . .” I smirked and slowly walked closer. “I don’t know what I
have done wrong.”

“I figured I was pretty clear on that
.” His eyes narrowed, and a
sneer formed on his face.
My heart ached. The tears were threatening to betray me. “I
don’t get you, Mason!” I blurted.
He scowled. “What’s not to get, Lauren?” He walked towards
me, taking a drink from the bottle. My eyes stared at the dribble of
liquid on his bottom lip as it caught the light.
“Everything,” I replied, averting my eyes. “You are so cold and
hurtful one minute, and then the next you are passionate—”
He interjected, “Do you need me to spell it out for you,
Lauren?” He growled, shoving his face in mine. My eyes widened
in shock. Why did he treat me like this?
“Just stop it!” I shouted, glad that my voice was drowned out by
the music. I took off my mask. “I don’t understand why, but I have
feelings for you, Mason.”
“Go—away, Lauren.” He groaned and turned away from me,
taking a long swig of the bottle.
“No!” I retorted, grabbing his arm. “I see the way you look at
me, Mason, and I can feel it when you kiss me. Why can’t you just
admit it?”
He tried to keep his voice even. “Christ, Lauren—take a hint,”
he snarled. “I have never had so much trouble getting rid of a girl
before.” He ran his fingers through his hair with his free hand.
His words were like a slap across my face. “Wow,” I gasped,
biting my lip, begging the tears to wait. “You’re an asshole.”
“Yes, I am!” he hissed. “So why don’t you just leave me alone.”
He looked me in the eye, his voice calm, and his face inches from
mine. I stood there, staring at him, nodding my head, the tears on
the brink of bursting. “Well.” His head jerked back, and he stared
at me as if to say
what are you waiting for?
“Okay,” I said, lips trembling. “I’m sorry that I bothered you.”
“I’m not looking for an apology. Just—go away,” he replied.
The look on his face was filled with pain and regret. I was afraid to
blink for fear of tears streaming down my face. Then I saw his top
lip twitch; his face was giving him away. He did care but I didn’t
understand why he was hiding it. Before I left him standing there, I
made one last attempt at getting the truth out of him. I grabbed his
face in both hands and kissed him. I heard hi breath hitch he was
surprised. Then it took seconds for him to grab my one wrist, with
his free hand, and pry my hands from his face, but then I heard him
whimper. The next thing I heard was the bottle dropping from his
hand, and crashing to the ground, as he wrapped his arms around
me. I felt my heart hit me in the chest as the passion poured out of
both of us. I had known all along he was fighting it. This was my
last shot at making him show it. His hand cupped the back of my
head as he pressed his lips hard against mine. I couldn’t catch my
breath as our lips locked. Unfortunately, it didn’t last. He grabbed
both of my arms and pulled them down hard, shoving me away
from him.
“Are you just about done?” He scowled, breathy. My eyes
blinked and I felt my head twitch, shocked.
The mask slid from my hand, landing on the floor by my feet in
the spilt champagne. I couldn’t look at him anymore. The tears
were ready to burst. I turned before the tears hit my cheeks, and
ran back inside. I didn’t stop until I reached the front doors. I
couldn’t look anyone in the face. That must have been what he
and Cassie were fighting about earlier. I was the fool, and he
proved that tonight. For the first time in my life, I had fallen for
someone who had little interest in me—or at least pretended to. I
didn’t understand it and I wasn’t about to continue to try to figure
it out either. I continued walking until the music was a faint sound
in the distance. The tears continued to drench my cheeks. Then I
realized I had forgotten my purse inside the hall somewhere, and
that was where my cell phone was. Even though it was painful, I
turned around and made the short trek back to the hall.