Hard To Love (6 page)

What did he think I was a slut like his brother
’s dates?
What was I thinking, acting like this? This was not me.
Clearly, Nick had the wrong impression of me. I shook my head

and walked off the dance floor. My face burned and my eyes filled
with tears. I was damn sure I never gave anyone the perception
that I was easy. When I got to the bar, I waved at George, who
nodded and started to make me a drink. I grabbed my credit card
from my wallet, knowing the next morning I would be regretting it.
I looked up at him again and gestured for him to make two.
George smiled and nodded.
Then I felt arms slither around my waist. I shoved whoever it

was off me. When I turned around, Mason was standing there. I
rolled my eyes, disappointed. He leaned in close enough, making
sure that I heard him.

“
Are you and your brother always this obnoxious?” I scoffed
and turned away.
“We’re half-brothers,” He made sure to state, “having us both
probably wouldn’t be that gross.” He chuckled, twirling my hair
around his finger.
“Fuck you!” I slapped his hand away and shoved him back.
The crowd gasped, parted and turned to stare. I avoided the glares
as best as I could.
“Problem?” a bouncer asked as he walked over, grabbing my
arm.
“Nope,” Mason mumbled, staring at me.
“Are you sure, Mr. Foster?” he asked, still holding me.
“I was just leaving.” I yanked my arm free.
As I walked past Mason, I saw Cassie and Nick standing there
watching. I had never been more embarrassed in my life. I don’t
know why I let Mason get to me this way. I couldn’t control how I
felt, but why I felt anything for that jerk was beyond me.
When I got outside I waved a cab over from the other side of
the street, waiting for traffic to slow down before I crossed.
“Lauren.” The voice came from behind. I turned to see who it
was. When I saw Mason standing there, I darted out onto the street,
just to avoid him, not noticing that a car was coming. Mason
grabbed me in time. “What were you thinking?” he gasped,
holding me tight against him. “Where are you going in such a
hurry Lauren?”
“Home—” I shoved him away. “— God.” My hands instantly
covered my face.
Mason whistled, waving his hand above his head. Moments
later a cab pulled up in front of us. Before he reached for the door
to open it for me, he grabbed my arm and pulled me in close, his
arms wrapped around me. I was unable to look up at him, and I
kept my arms tight against my sides. Then he surprised me as he
wiped the tears from my cheeks, his smile strained.
He kissed my cheek gently, whispering, “I don’t mean to be a
jerk, but I do have a reputation to uphold.” I don’t know what I
expected from him. Suddenly the urge to lash out at him rose
within me. Exhaustion controlled me though, and my emotions
were running on overdrive.
“Screw you and your reputation,” I blurted, then opened the
door and got in. If this was how dating was these days, then I pass
on the whole dating scene.
Before I got the door shut, I heard him say, “Good night,
Lauren.” Then he reached in the front window, handing the cab
driver money.

As I crawled into bed later that night, I made a vow to avoid
seeing any of them for a while. No clubbing or country club,
nothing, not for a while. I was mortified because of my actions
tonight, and I really didn’t want to deal with two troublesome
brothers in a tangled web of feelings. I had more respect for
myself than that. I didn’t want anyone I loved feeling humiliated
around me or them.

The week of the masquerade was also the week I started
working at the restaurant. The first few days, Mrs. Peterson had
scheduled her manager to train me. Then after that I shadowed
random staff members for a shift, even though I felt I would have
been fine on my own. Then on Thursday, she allowed me to start
taking my own tables. The hostess was given instructions to not
give me more than four tables at a time. I didn’t protest because I
was grateful, come seven o’clock that evening, when the Harpers
and the Fosters walked in. The host recognized them right away,
seating them within minutes of entering the door, angering the few
guests that were still waiting for a table. I swiftly hid by the
kitchen door. All week Cassie had called and I had avoided
answering.

“Are you all right
, Lauren?” Mrs. Peterson asked as she came
out from the kitchen.
“Huh? Yes, yes, I’m fine,” I stuttered and walked back over to
my section, thankfully on the other side of the restaurant.

While working, I concentrated on my four tables to avoid going
over to the section where Cassie and her family were seated.
“Lauren,” someone called. My heart sank and I slowly turned
around. Mrs. Peterson was standing there with her arms folded
across her chest. I quickly glanced over at the other side of the
restaurant. It didn’t appear that anyone had heard her call me.
“I understand that you are just starting again, but some of the
other wait staff, mentioned that you are avoiding running food out
to their tables.” She replied, her expression neutral.
“Oh—have I?” I gulped. “I just thought you wanted me to
concentrate on my side.”
“No,” she said, and her body relaxed. “Now go help bring the
food out to that party,” she said and walked back into the kitchen.
I paced a few times, and then went in the same door she had
gone through to get to the kitchen. The chef turned, looking right
at me.
“You.” He snapped his fingers. I grumbled to myself as I
walked toward him. “New girl, take this to table thirtyfive,” he
said, handing me a tray with five plates on it. I hesitated a little
longer than he tolerated. “Hello.” He snapped at me.
“Sorry.” I said and briefly closed my eyes before lifting the tray
up on my shoulder. The guests at other tables glanced up and
smiled as I walked past them. I grabbed the folding table to put the
tray on, as I approached the table. Mason and Nick had their backs
to me. Cassie spotted me just as her mother spoke my name.
“Lauren.” Mrs. Harper was the first to look up and acknowledge
me. As I came into view, Nick’s face flushed.
“Mrs. Harper.” I smiled. “Lobster bisque?” I looked up at the
sea of surprised faces in front of me. Mr. Foster raised his hand,
and I lifted the bowl from the tray and walked over to him, placing
it in front of him.
“Thank you.” He looked up, smiling.
Pleasantly nodding and smiling, I asked, “Escargot?” This time
Mrs. Harper raised her hand, smiling. Then while handing out the
plates, it occurred to me that all of these dishes were appetizers.
The entrees were to follow, making their stay longer than I
anticipated.
“When did you start working here?” Mrs. Foster asked.
“Uh—this week.” I replied nervously.
“You are doing well for your first job,” Mr. Foster added as he
laid out a napkin on his lap.
“Oh, no—this isn’t my first job,” I replied, placing the last plate
down. “I actually worked here before I moved away.”
“See, Mason? Even Lauren has managed to work for her
money,” she said, glancing over at Mason.
“Oh, Mother,” Mason sighed, leaning on the back of her chair
with his arm. “Let us not argue in public,” he snarled. She rolled
her eyes and turned away from him.
Nervously I glanced up and saw that Cassie, Charlie and Nick
were left without food. Just as I was about to inform them that
someone would be right along with the rest of their order, another
waitress walked up. I smiled and nodded, then slipped away.
Nick’s eyes were starting to make me sweat. It was like he could
see right through me.
When I got in the kitchen, I put the tray down and backed up
against the wall. Tears flooded my eyes. Then as I walked towards
the ‘out’ door, I spotted Mason standing there. He noticed me, and
in a panic I spun around, walking back into the kitchen, all the way
to the back door. I barged out the back door to the smoking area,
crying, not realizing that some of the kitchen staff was out there.
“Are you okay, Hun?” one of the cooks asked.
“I—I’m fine,” I replied, startled, then averted my eyes.
“Rough night?” The kitchen manager asked. I was
embarrassed that anyone had seen me, let alone a manager.
“No,” I said, pacing.
After a few minutes someone knocked on the wooden gate that
gave access to the garbage and recycling trucks during the week.
The cook stuck his cigarette in his mouth and unlatched the door,
letting it swing open.
My eyes widened.
“Hey,” Mason said, looking up at me.
“You know him?” the cook asked, looking back at me. I
gulped, not knowing what to say. Then I shook my head and
backed away.
“Lauren,” Mason sighed.
“It sounds like he knows you.” The cook took a haul off his
cigarette and walked away.
“What do you want, Mason?” With my arms crossed, I slowly
made my way towards him.
He shrugged slightly and replied, “To talk.”
“Shouldn’t you be eating dinner with your family?” I asked.
“I wasn’t hungry.” He smirked. “Liquid diet.” I rolled my eyes.
“Come out here for a minute.”
“Why do you want to talk to me?” I asked, leaning on the brick
wall on the other side of the fenced-in area.
“Haven’t seen your face in a few days, was starting to wonder if
you skipped town. Now I see where you’ve been hiding,” he said.
“I wasn’t hiding,” I scoffed. “Some of us have to work for a
living.”
“You think I don’t work?” he asked with a chuckle. My head
titled slightly, and I rolled my eyes again. “I really hate this
perception you have of me,” he said, placing his palm on the wall
next to my head.
“Then change it,” I whispered, biting my lower lip.
“How?” His tongue darted out, moistening his lips.
I felt my eyes get heavier the longer he stared. With focused
eyes, he slid his hand along my jaw into my hair. His face was so
close that our noses almost touched and the warmth of his breath
tickled my lips. As I closed my eyes, waiting to feel the touch of
his lips against mine, someone called my name.
“Lauren.” The cook from earlier popped his head out.
“Peterson is looking for you.”
I replied, “Thanks.” Mason’s eyes slowly left mine, landing on
the cook, who immediately looked away. “I have to get back,” I
told him and walked away swiftly, moving past everyone in the
back area and straight to the office, where Mrs. Peterson grilled me
on leaving my section unattended.

By ten my shift had finally ended. A quick glance across the
restaurant filled me with relief; the Harpers’ table was empty. I
hated how nervous he made me. Even as I thought of him earlier
when he was about to kiss me, made my heart flutter. I knew that
if we hadn’t been interrupted I would have let him. I didn’t
understand what was happening to me. He was never polite, and
even when he was being sweet, a hint of sarcasm followed. I
shrugged it off and finished pushing the chairs in under the tables
in my area. I made sure my tales and the carpets were clean.

Before I left for the night, Mrs. Peterson took me into her office
and she spoke to me about earlier. I apologized for the second
time, promising to never let it happen again. She gave me a thin
smile and nodded.

“Have a good night, new girl,”
the cook from earlier said as I
walked past him.
“It’s Lauren,” I corrected.
“I know.” He smiled, then went back to what he was doing,
putting a smile on my face for the first time that night. As I
walked around the side of the building to where my car was
parked, I stopped short. Mason was leaning on the trunk of my
car. My eyes scanned the parking lot. No red Ferrari.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, still looking around,
hoping to find his car.
“Wanted to finish what we started,” he said, smiling.
“Mason—”
“Shh.” His movements were swift, his palms cupping my
cheeks. My lips parted, breath ragged as his thumb lightly dragged
across my bottom lip. My eyes locked on his, and the need to kiss
him grew stronger as the seconds passed. His hands slid into my
hair as he inched closer. I felt his eager breath on my face, his eyes
still on mine. Shivers ran up my spine; a tingle filled my belly as
his hands ran across the back of my neck. It was then that he
pressed his lips on mine. I leaned in to him, yielding to the soft
strength of his kiss, letting out a gasp as our lips parted for a
moment. My arms wrapped around his neck, feeling his passion in
my body, heart and soul. His arms squeezed around my waist
tightly. Then he lifted me onto the trunk of my car. “I—don’t—
know—why I waited so long to do that,” he whispered, breathless.
“What does this mean?” I gasped our faces inches apart.
“I don’t know,” he whispered, his hands on the sides of my
face, his thumbs brushing across my cheeks. “I—I can’t stop
thinking about you. I don’t understand it.” His lips hovered over
mine. My eyes fluttered and all words escaped me. My eyes
focused on his eyes, then lips and back to his eyes again. Cupping
his face in my hands, I stared intently, trying to figure him out. I
wanted to believe that everything he was saying was true.
“How do you do this to me?” I said my voice unsteady.
“What do I do?” he whispered with heavy lids, breath rapid and
lips wanting more.
I replied, “Turn my world upside down.” I leaned close, slowly
brushing my lips over his. His body tensed and he grabbed me
tight in his embrace. His kiss was hard and rushed. It felt as if we
had breathed our souls and all our passion into each other in that
kiss.
A sob caught in my throat, and I knew instantly that I had fallen
for him. Everything about him went against my morals and better
judgement. He would hurt me—that was inevitable—but deep
within me all I wanted was him.
“Where are you going from here?” he gasped, pulling away.
“I don’t know,” I said, breathy, kissing him again. “Let’s see
where this takes us.”
“My place or yours,” he whispered, and I felt his smirk against
my lips.
“That’s—not what I meant.” I shoved him back gently. “I
meant where it takes us relationshipwise.”
“Relationship—whoa! I think we are rushing things.” He
backed away, raising his hands.
“Seriously, Mason?” I gasped in disbelief.
He cleared his throat. “I don’t do relationships.”
“I don’t do one-night stands,” I said angrily, hopped off the
trunk of my car and walked around to the driver’s side door.
“Where are you going?” he asked, following me.
“Home . . . alone.” I glowered.
“I need a ride.” He stood, his raised hands palms up.
“There’s a cab,” I said and pointed to the parked cab.
He scoffed, “Really, Lauren.”
“Really, Mason.” I crossed my arms.
“Lauren—” Just then my cell phone rang, giving me a bit of a
fright. I searched through my purse and answered it.
“Hey, Cassie.” I turned and got in the car.
Cassie invited me to her late-night party, which I tried to
decline, but she insisted I show up. With a grumble I agreed and
drove home to change into something more comfortable before
making my way over. I left my mother a note for the morning in
case I didn’t make it home that night.

When I pulled up to Cassie’s parents’
place, I was surprised to
see so many cars in the driveway. I pulled in behind the other and
the engine silenced with a turn of the key. I sat in the car, debating
on leaving before anyone saw my car. Then a knock on my
passenger side window startled me. I tilted my head to see out the
windshield. Nick waved at me. I cursed.

“Hey
, you,” he said, stopping. “Are you coming?” he asked,
waiting. I chewed the inside of my cheek, and shut my eyes,
hoping he would disappear. No such luck. I got out and joined him.

“Are you just getting here?” I asked.
“Yes, Cassie just called,” he replied.
I tried to hide my displeasure as I nodded. Cassie invited us

both on purpose.
Cassie actually preferred Nick’s company over
Mason’s that much I knew. She had made that clear once or twice,
also mentioning Nick was the better choice of the two. What she
did not know was what happened between Mason and me tonight.

“
I wish I had the chance to speak to you earlier. You kept pretty
busy.” We walked towards the side of the house. The patio lights
shone brightly from the backyard.

“
Yeah, Thursday nights can be busy,” I replied with a shrug.
“You work all week?” He gave me a side glance.
“Yep,” I said, biting down on the inside of my lips. The way he

looked at me made me so uncomfortable.
“Sorry about the other night,” he said, touching my arm,
bringing me to a stop. “I was a little tipsy. Normally, I don’t let
my emotions get the best of me.” He smiled and blushed.
Averting my eyes, I replied, “Forgotten.” But he chuckled and
then shook his head. “What?” I asked.
“Was it that bad?” He sucked a breath in, wincing.
“Huh?”
“You said
forgotten
. I’m guessing that I’m a lousy kisser if you
are able to forget about it that easily,” he said.
Now I was uncomfortable again. “You apologized. What did
you want me to say?” I asked, looking away.
“That you liked it and wanted me to do it again.” His lips
slightly curved into a smile, and then it was turn to blush. My brow
arched and I couldn’t control how I reacted because my emotions
were heightened after seeing Mason.
“Look, I don’t know what you and Mason are up to, but I would
prefer it if you kept me out of it,” I said in one breath.
“How does Mason come into this? He has nothing to do with
my actions.” His brow furrowed.
“I figured it was some sort of pissing contest with the two of
you,” I gulped.
“I knew there was something I liked about you.” He smirked.
“And I don’t care what that little weasel does in his spare time? He
has no morals, cares of nothing but himself. If I was you, I’d steer
clear of him,” he said and walked away.
Shutting my eyes, I breathed slowly. This party was off to a
good start. The temptation to leave was great. However, Cassie
was questioning my absence for the week, which I had no excuse
for. Well, other than complete embarrassment from the last time I
was at the club. Nick turned the corner before me and announced
that I was behind him. When I came around the corner, Cassie
squealed and ran over.
“I have missed you. Where have you been?” she asked, hugging
me. “Why have you not been answering my calls or calling me
back?”
“Can we talk about this another time?” I asked.
“No. We can talk now.” She grabbed my arm and told
everyone we were going for a walk. “Spill it,” she said, crossing
her arms.
“I was embarrassed, Cass.” I stretched my neck, feeling tense.
“That night at the club, I felt humiliated in front of everyone.” I
fought against the tears.
“I wouldn’t worry about it. Mason is an ass and everyone
knows that,” she replied, linking her arm with mine.
“Are you sure about that, Cassie? Because I sure felt like I was
the villain.” My brow furrowed and I prayed at that moment that
she was done talking about it.
“Oh, it wasn’t that bad. I’ve seen worse,” Cassie said, laughing.
“What bar were you at?” I gasped. “I saw your face, Cassie. I
can’t get it out of my head. You were just as mortified as I was.”
My hands covered my face.
“I wasn’t mortified because of that,” she said, pulling me in to
her chest. “I was worried about how you were feeling.” She stood
in front of me, shaking her head. “Mason is an ass. Just because
he’s family doesn’t mean I excuse his behaviour. He gets away
with it because he is handsome. It’s the women that fall for him.
One of these days, a woman is going to destroy him, and he will
regret being such a jerk,” she said, hugging me.
“I don’t know why I keep going to him,” I groaned. After a long
silence I added, “He showed up after work tonight.”
“Shut up?” she gasped. “Tell me everything.”
“Yes. He was standing by my car.” I shook my head, frustrated.
“He kissed me and told me he can’t stop thinking about me. I’m
confused, Cassie. I can’t tell if he likes me or if he is playing me.”
I grumbled. “He infuriates me. I knew I wasn’t ready for this. I’m
too damn emotional.”
“He didn’t see you cry, did he?” she asked. My eyes glanced
away. Cassie’s eyes widened.
Technically, he did see me cry but he didn’t know why I was
crying. He just found me that way.
“Lauren, please tell me you didn’t cry in front of him.” She
grabbed my shoulders.
I winced. “Earlier, after I served your appetizers. I was in the
back freaking out, and well, my emotions got the best of me. Then
he showed up at the back door.”
“That’s where he went.” She tapped her lips. “He doesn’t know
why you were crying?”
“No.”
“Good. Don’t let him in, I beg you,” she said, creating a steeple
with her hands. “I tell all my girlfriends who meet him that he is
nothing but trouble. If you let him in, Lauren, he will hurt you.”
She grabbed my face in her hands, looking me in the eye.
“I know,” I replied. My eyes shut and I let out a deep sigh.
Cassie was right. Mason had the reputation of breaking hearts, not
mending them.
“Now, Nick, on the other hand—”
“No. Nah-uh. Don’t go there.” I shook my head, walking away.
“He doesn’t have the bad-boy reputation that Mason has,” she
assured me.
I stopped and spun around, glancing quickly to see if anyone
was around, then whispered, “He kissed me on the dance floor that
same night at the club, then asked if I wanted to go home with him.
I’m sure they are quite similar,” I growled.
“Oh.” She screwed her lips to the side. “Sorry. I didn’t know.”
“Now you do,” I huffed. I felt terrible even though I never
instigated either situation.
“Well, let’s drink our woes away.” She linked her arm with
mine.
“What woes do you have?” I scoffed.
“None, but I will drink to yours.” She laughed.
I rolled my eyes but laughed along with her. The music got
louder as we walked around the side of the house to the backyard.
The weather wasn’t quite cold enough to force us inside, and there
were heat lamps around the patio.