Happy Kids: The Secrets to Raising Well-Behaved, Contented Children (20 page)

Make sure the children know what is acceptable behaviour in your house and ensure their behaviour is acceptable by following the techniques described in this book. Obviously never use physical punishment on a child you are looking after, and if the child (or children’s) behaviour is very negative then report it to their parents. If the behaviour doesn’t improve, you might decide to withdraw your offer of looking after the children. Often a relative, close friend or neighbour will help out a busy mum so that she can go to the dentist, doctor or shopping unencumbered, but there is a cut-off point to what you can reasonably be expected to do. You are not the parent, and the arrangement should be a risk-free and positive experience for everyone.

As a nanny you will be employed by the parents, and will usually look after the child or children in the family home. At present in the UK nannies do not have to be registered or inspected, but they do have childcare qualifications. Nannies clearly work very closely with the parents, and caring for the child or children in the family home gives the child the added security of familiarity – in surroundings and routine. All the techniques and strategies for successfully managing children’s behaviour in this book can be applied to the nanny situation.

Ideally, all aspects of the child or children’s care should be wholly acceptable to both you, the nanny, and the parents, where both parties have the same childcare ideology. However, this isn’t always the case, and sometimes the highly experienced and well-qualified nanny will see flaws in the way parents are rearing their children, particularly in respect of setting boundaries for acceptable behaviour. Ultimately, the nanny may have to accept the parent’s way of doing something, if agreement can’t be reached, although a nanny will never slap a child for bad behaviour even though the parents can legally do so at present in the UK. It can be hoped that if the parents see the nanny successfully setting guidelines for positive behaviour they will follow the nanny’s example. Often parents’ routines and strategies for managing their children are modified after nanny has discreetly set in place something that works better.

‘We are what we eat’ is a well-acknowledged phrase; the food that goes into our mouths is ultimately absorbed by our bodies and therefore becomes part of us. Food is necessary for cell growth and repair, our development and general health. But it isn’t only our bodies and our physical health that are at the mercy of what we consume, but also our brains and central nervous system. A finely tuned endocrine and hormone system is responsible for mood, behaviour and mental health, and relies on a well-balanced diet to function efficiently. There is now a wealth of scientific information, from studies and research, that shows unequivocally that children’s and adult’s behaviour is greatly affected by diet.

A healthy diet is therefore essential, not only for children’s physical development but also for their emotional and mental well-being. And while improving your child’s diet alone won’t turn a child with challenging behaviour into an angel, coupled with the techniques and strategies in this book, it can go a long way towards it.

In 1984 a book shot into the bestseller charts: it was called
E. for Additives
and was by a nutritionist, Maurice Hanssen. The book was a revelation, as it made the public aware of the hundreds of chemicals, known as E numbers, that are regularly added to food and drink. It listed each E number’s chemical origin and compound; which foods contained it; and their possible adverse effects on physical and mental health. The book shocked consumers worldwide, as it highlighted for the first time just how much our food was tampered with before it reached the shops. In effect we were eating a cocktail of chemicals, the long-term effect of which was largely unknown. And while some of these E numbers have since been shown to be harmful and banned from foods, the majority are still widely used, although the concerns raised in Hanssen’s book remain true today.

E numbers are added to food and drinks for many reasons, including appearance, shelf life, texture and taste. All food additives, including E numbers, must be listed on the label of the food package, but only European countries have adopted the E number classification. Although each chemical additive is tested and has to pass health and safety checks before being allowed into food, what isn’t tested is the combination of chemicals, and how this combination reacts in the food or the body. Most processed food and drink contains more than one additive, with a packet of brightly coloured sweets containing upward of ten. Even an innocent yoghurt can contain five or more additives if it is sweetened or made to look like the colour of a particular fruit.

Not all additives are synthetic or have harmful effects, and some have been used for years. Many people suffer no ill effects from eating additive-laden processed food, although cause and effect may not be recognised – the headache your child had in the afternoon might be due not to tiredness but to the bright pink icing on the doughnut he or she ate for lunch. The full and long-term effects of consuming additives is not known and research is ongoing. But there is enough evidence to show that mood, behaviour, learning, energy levels and concentration can be affected.

While you manage your child’s behaviour using the techniques in this book, it is also essential that your child has a well-balanced diet, with processed food kept to a minimum. If you know or suspect your child is sensitive to certain food additives, then obviously avoid all food and drinks that contain them. Here is a list of additives that research has shown can cause problems in behaviour, but the list is by no means complete:

Sunset yellow (E110)
can cause or aggravate Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Found in orange squash, orange jelly, marzipan, Swiss roll, apricot jam, citrus marmalade, lemon curd, sweets, hot chocolate mix and packet soups, breadcrumbs, cheese sauce, ice cream, canned fish and many medications. Allowed in the UK, but banned in Norway and Finland.

Quinoline yellow (E104)
has been linked to ADHD, restlessness and irritability. Found in ices, Scotch eggs, smoked haddock, hair products, colognes and a wide range of medications. Allowed in the UK, but banned in Australia, Japan, Norway and the United States.

Carmoisine (E122)
has been linked to ADHD, sleeplessness and loss of concentration. Found in blancmange, marzipan, Swiss roll, jams and preserves, sweets, brown sauce, flavoured yoghurts, packet soups, jellies, breadcrumbs and cheesecake mixes. Allowed in the UK, but banned in Japan, Norway, Sweden and the United States.

Allura red (E129)
can cause or aggravate ADHD and is linked to irritability and lack of concentration. Found in sweets, drinks, sauces, medications and cosmetics. Not allowed in food and drink for children under three. Banned in Denmark, Belgium, France, Germany, Switzerland, Sweden, Austria and Norway.

Tartrazine (E102):
many people are allergic to this and it has been shown to cause and aggravate ADHD and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Found in fruit squash, fruit cordial, coloured fizzy drinks, instant puddings, cake mixes, custard powder, soups, sauces, ice cream, ice lollies, sweets, chewing gum, marzipan, jam, jelly, marmalade, mustard, yoghurt and many convenience foods. Widely used in the UK, but banned in Norway and Austria.

Ponceau 4R (E124)
is linked to ADHD and sleep disturbance. Found in dessert toppings, jelly, salami, seafood dressings, tinned strawberries, fruit pie fillings, cake mixes, cheesecakes, soups and trifles. Allowed in the UK, but banned in Norway and the United States.

While most parents know the importance of protein and carbohydrates for growth and energy, and that it is essential children eat fresh fruit and vegetables, not so well known is the part vitamins and minerals play in behaviour and emotional stability. The following has come from research and is worth noting:

Zinc
is essential for good brain functioning and a deficiency can result in learning difficulties and behavioural problems, including mood swings and tantrums. Zinc is found in meat, shellfish, milk, cheese, bread and cereal.

Magnesium
has been described as a natural tranquilliser, and a deficiency can aggravate ADHD, causing restlessness and poor concentration. One study found that a magnesium supplement reversed the affects of ADHD. Magnesium occurs naturally in green leafy vegetables, nuts and pulses, bread, fish, meat and dairy produce.

B vitamins
have many functions but are crucial for the brain and nervous system to function properly. Deficiency in the B vitamins can impair the functioning of the brain and nervous system, resulting in poor learning and memory recall, aggression and depression. B vitamins are found in a variety of foods including pork, meat, cod, salmon, bread, cereals, rice, eggs, vegetables, soya beans, nuts, and potatoes, dairy products, and some cereals.

Iron
is very important because it helps the body to make haemoglobin which carries oxygen around the body. It has a direct effect on cognitive development, energy level and work performance. Iron deficiency has been found in high numbers of children with ADHD. Studies have shown that boosting iron levels increases concentration and school performance as well as improving behaviour. Iron is found in red meat, beans, nuts, dried fruit, whole grains (such as brown rice), fortified breakfast cereals, soya, most dark green leafy vegetables and chocolate.

Omega-3 oils
(good fats) are essential for normal growth and development, including brain functioning. Deficiencies have been linked to poor memory and concentration, mood swings, depression, aggression and hyperactivity. Omega-3 oils are found in oily fish, for example fresh tuna, salmon, trout, mackerel, herring, sardines and pilchards, but can be taken effectively and safely as a supplement. There is now compelling evidence that adding omega-3 to a child’s diet can boost intelligence and learning, as well as stabilising ADHD.

Apart from the obvious sugar-laden foods – sweets, biscuits, cakes and puddings, etc. – sugar is added to many processed foods, and as a result of eating these we have become a nation of ‘sweet tooths’. As well as having physical effects – tooth decay, obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. – too much sugar can have an effect on mood and behaviour. Most parents have observed the ‘high’ that too many sweet foods or sugary drinks can have on a child – even the average child without a hyperactivity disorder. As sugar enters the blood stream it gives a surge of energy, and the child rushes around on a high; however, after the ‘sugar rush’ comes a low as the body dispenses insulin to stabilise itself. The child then becomes tired, irritable and even aggressive, with a craving for something sweet. So begins a pattern of sugar-related highs and lows. If the child is prone to mood swings or hyperactivity, refined sugar will fuel it. Sugar intake should be moderated and ideally from a natural source – i.e. fruit.

Beware of added caffeine. Although it is unlikely you will give your child a cup of strong black coffee, the equivalent amount of caffeine can be found in a can of many fizzy drinks. Caffeine is added by the manufacturers and is a powerful stimulant – which is why many adults drink coffee in the morning to wake them up. Caffeine acts immediately on the central nervous system, giving a powerful but short-lived high. Some bottles and cans of fizzy drink now state that they are ‘caffeine free’, but they are still in the minority, and you will need to check the label to see if caffeine is present, and in what quantity.

Children’s sensitivity to caffeine varies, but studies have shown that even children who are not prone to ADHD can become hyperactive, lose concentration, suffer from insomnia and have challenging behaviour when caffeine-laden fizzy drinks are added to their diets. Caffeine is also addictive, and many children are addicted (from regularly consuming fizzy drinks), without their parents realising it. The children crave and seek out the drinks, and suffer the effects of withdrawal – headaches, listlessness, irritability – until they have had their daily ‘fix’. Caffeine is best avoided by all parents for their children, but if your child has behavioural problems, particularly ADHD, it is absolutely essential to avoid it. There are plenty of enticing soft drinks and juice alternatives available that don’t have added caffeine.

The human body is approximately 63 per cent water, and the brain 77 per cent. Drinking regularly, and therefore keeping the body and brain hydrated, is absolutely essential to function effectively. By the time you feel thirsty you are already dehydrated, and even mild dehydration can cause headaches, tiredness, loss of concentration and irritability. Salt is added to most snacks and processed food in high quantities, and salt is a diuretic – i.e. it makes you wee more, which results in dehydration if the lost fluid is not replaced.

While added salt is obvious in crisps, for example, it is not so obvious in ice cream, bread, breakfast cereals (even healthy ones), sauces, pizza and burgers – in fact many of the foods children eat. Children are more prone to dehydration than adults, as a result of diet, activity levels (fluid is lost in sweat) and the fact that they can forget to drink. Also, the school routine doesn’t always offer enough opportunity for children to drink during the day, with the result that many children become dehydrated.