Falling (25 page)
Authors: Jolene Perry
“Aren’t you a witness as well?” Jason asks. “Because I was under the impression you two weren’t supposed to talk.”
Craig ignores Jason as I knew he would. Being sandwiched between the two guys should feel awkward, but it doesn’t. I trust Jason.
Only a million different kinds of nerves are dancing around inside me right now.
We pass the courtroom where the trial will obviously be. I see press, a few cameras, and a lot of people. The family of the victim is standing together outside of the courtroom doors in the hallway. What’s probably the mother is wiping away a few tears, and I suddenly feel like I’m in the middle of an episode of
Law and Order
.
“Well, Dana.” Craig smiles as the door to our waiting room closes behind him. “Didn’t take you long to fill my shoes, or to almost fill them
?
”
He glances from me to Jason. What a prick.
“Craig. Aren’t you at work? Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Jason asks.
I rest my hand on Jason’s shoulder. “Oh, don’t worry
,
Jase. You know what they say about men and shoe size and all that. You busted right out of his shoes.”
Jason does a terrible job of holding in his smile as he sits and rests an ankle on his knee.
“You’re not worth the trouble.” Craig shakes his head and walks out.
I maintain my smile until the door closes.
“What the
hell
?” I stare at Jason. “Does it all have to come back around on the same freaking day?”
Jason grins. “You are wicked smart and pretty damn awesome.”
Without thinking, I flop down next to him and give him a kiss on his cheek. “Thanks, Jase.”
“You don’t need me.” He shakes his head, smiling a little.
I lean my head back against wall and try to relax. “I was so mad at Katie for screwing me up. It’s her party I was headed to, and I wouldn’t have been on that road, and in this mess, if she’d given me good directions.”
Jason just sits, maybe understanding that I need to talk.
“I’ve been mad at her and what it’s done to my life and how it’s mixed things up for me and not just one or two things but everything.” I think about what happened to me over this winter, and I’d be afraid to change any of it. “If I wasn’t there, if I hadn’t made a wrong turn, that guy still would have been killed only no one would have seen anything and maybe nothing would have happened.
“I’ve been so selfish about this and feeling put out because of this crappy situation I was shoved in, but did you see the family of the victim out there in the hallway? He may not have been a stellar guy but he had a mom and a sister and…” I jump when someone knocks, and wipe the edges of my eyes.
Jason rests a hand on each shoulder. “I’ll be inside. Relax. You’re fine.”
When we stand up, I put my arms around him and hold him until I’m asked to leave for the courtroom. I’m shaking like I don’t ever remember shaking before.
The victim’s family will be in there. Matthew will be in there. A jury will be in there… It’s so big. So
much
.
JASON
It Would Be So Much Easier If It Were Me.
I can’t hold still as I watch Dana take the stand. I flip the coins in my pocket
and pick at the seams. My hands have to fidget, and my heart’s speeding.
Mitch
, the DA, stands up after Dana’s sworn in and asks her some basic questions. I can see her be less and less nervous as they continue on. Then she talks about the mixed
-
up directions from her friend and how she passed these two guys on the side of the road. She’s asked for every detail she can remember. She’s asked to point out the defendant. She frowns and stares at her lap for a moment, but does it anyway.
A picture of the victim is put up, and I can see her emotions start to take over. She takes a few deep breaths and touches the sides of her eyes a few times. I ache for her and wish I could sit there next to her and take her hand. I’ve never seen her this vulnerable. Part of me loves it. The part of me that wants nothing more than to take care of her. Probably because I know how much she doesn’t want to be taken care of.
Then she talks about her car accident. I’m listening to every word, to every nuance in her voice. Clues as to what that night was like for her. In one way it wasn’t a big deal, in another way it was a huge deal, and I can’t believe we’ve never talked about it.
Mitch
sits down when he finishes, and I can see the defense attorney flipping through his notes. I want to give Dana some strength. I wish I could do something and then wonder if this is what being around her would always be like. Me wanting to give her something she doesn’t have the ability to take. I’m not sure. Maybe she’ll go home, and I’ll never know.
She holds her ground with the defense attorney. I want to deck the guy once or twice, but she’s calm and collected the whole time he’s asking her questions. He spends even more time than
Mitch
had grilling her hard on all the small details. I want to give her a standing ovation when he finally sits down. She’s amazing.
“Is this a good stopping point?” The judge asks as the defense attorney flips through his notes.
Mitch
looks pleased.
“Yes, your honor. I will have questions when we return from lunch.”
“Are both parties agreed?” The judge asks.
“Yes, your honor.” From the defense table.
I’m watching Dana. She takes a breath of relief. I like that I know her well enough to see this.
I meet her back in the conference room and don’t wait for a sign from her before taking her in my arms. Dana leans into me and doesn’t move.
“It was a lot harder than I thought it would be,” she says quietly.
“I’m sure it was.” I squeeze her again. “Are you hungry?”
“I don’t know.” She smiles a little.
We join Justine for a quick lunch in the hotel room.
“I called Darren.” Justine looks up at Dana over her cup of fries.
“Who’s Darren?” I ask.
Justine smiles. “The boy you don’t want to think about.”
“Oh.” She’s right. I don’t want to think about the boy. I put down my burger
as my appetite disappears
.
“And?” Dana smiles.
“I told him everything and he feels really bad, and he’s hoping that I’ll be home over the summer.” Justine looks pleased.
I know I should say something. “I think I’ll keep you with me this summer.”
Justine rolls her eyes. Guess we’re back to normal now.
All too soon lunch is over, we’re back to the courthouse, and I watch Dana take the stand as
Mitch
does his re-direct. This part is better. It’s easier. The worst is done.
DANA
Jumping In.
The courthouse feels a million miles away now that we’re back at the lodge. I’m quiet. Jason’s quiet. Justine’s comatose in her room.
I rode “the hump” in the truck all the way back from Palmer, resting against Jason, trying to remember all the reasons that we won’t work. I’m not sure I came up with enough to walk away, but I don’t know how to stay here either.
Jason’s sort of looking off into space with a faint smile on his face.
“Where are you?” I tease as I kick his foot.
“Oh.” His head snaps toward me. “I don’t think you want the answer to that.” He smirks then, and I think I definitely do.
“Try me.” I fold my arms. Everything with him should be hard because we’re so different, but it’s not. When I let myself relax and be with him, it’s easy.
“So, I was imagining what it would be like to spend some time in Hawaii with you, and you seem like the kind of girl who would go for the simple, black bikini…”
I nod, a small smile on my face, because I’m thinking he might ask me to come with him.
“And then I realized, that since I was imagining, you didn’t really need a suit at all…” His smile is open and unapologetic.
I shake my head. “Boys.”
Jason shrugs. “You asked.”
I step closer, heart hammering, not wanting to keep trying to stay away from him. “I did.”
Just as he reaches for me, I step back. “I’m wiped. Think I’ll head to bed.” I keep walking backwards, smiling at him, hoping he’ll follow as I move toward his door.
His arms are around me by the time my hands find the handle.
Just before his lips touch mine he says, “Do we have a million things to talk about before we go any further?”
“Yes.” I let my lips touch his as I speak, the warmth of him coursing through me in waves. “But we have tomorrow for that.”
I turn the handle, and Jason gently pushes us through—me still walking backwards, him guiding me carefully. As soon as the door closes, his hands touch either side of my face as he takes me in.
“I feel like I’m letting go of the edge of a cliff.” My voice shakes a little because I know I’ve never felt this way for anyone before. And because I know I’m walking into what may end up being a ridiculous situation, but I also know I can’t just walk away.
“Is that where we are?” Jason whispers.
I lean forward and press our lips together. “Not anymore. Now I’m falling.”
“I’m not falling. I’m there. I love you.”
He’s breathless.
I’m breathless.
Words won’t come. I’m thrilled and scared, and feeling too much. Instead of answering I kiss him with everything I have.
We know each other’s bodies, but we take each other in differently this time. We’re closer. I can feel everything. I want to feel everything. There’s a lot of him to take in. It isn’t casual anymore.
Jason touches me with a soft urgency that feels like so much more than anything I could imagine. I don’t close my eyes, not often. He doesn’t close his. And for probably the first time ever, I’m in the middle of a perfect movie moment, and I soak up every second of his body against mine.
Jason holds me, and I don’t even try to roll away. His strong arms tighten around me as we both fall into sleep. I’ll find a way to make this work because I’m starting to understand that a person
can
be your safe place, and I don’t want to lose that. I just have to figure out a way to make this last, and then I need to figure out what to tell my dad.
JASON
There’s Just
N
o Competing With This
I sleep hard. Really hard. It’s been a long time since I felt that content when I drifted off. There’s an odd buzzing sound in my dream, over and over. I feel the bed wiggle and it thankfully stops. I drift back off.
I hear some banging and shuffling around. Well, it sounds like someone is
trying
to be quiet and failing. I look around. Dana’s gone. I slide out of bed and pull on the jeans I was wearing yesterday, then grab a hoodie and shuffle out of my room.
Dana’s standing with her suitcase and a blotchy tear-stained face that she’s trying to hide by not looking at me.
“What’s going on?” Even though part of me knows. I know it right now. I’m an ass. Why did I let myself fall this way?
Why
? I knew, I knew exactly what I was up against. I knew what the odds were, and I did it anyway.
“My dad called. He’s on his way.” She sniffs a few times, but doesn’t move.
“Here?” How did the man leave St. Louis and us not know about it?
“I had no idea he was coming. My brother finally told him about the trial and everything…”
“
You never told your dad
?” I knew she hadn’t a while ago, but that was a
while
ago.
“No!” She looks frantic. “I didn’t know what to do! I knew he would react like this, and now I’ll have to go back or I don’t know what…”
I should feel bad for her, but I don’t. I feel bad for me. I feel bad that I let either of us get involved with the other. I knew it the first day she was here. What the hell was I thinking? How many times will I ask myself that same damn question?
“Dana, if you’re going to leave…” I shake my head and back away, raising my arm between us. I don’t look at her. I don’t need more torturous reminders of her, any more pictures of her face in my head. If she’s leaving, she just needs to go. It feels exactly like I thought it would. Like I’d known it would when I let this whole thing start. It was like when Cass walked out that door. I still had hope then, for Cass and
me
. I don’t see what could possibly happen here.
“You said, ‘if’. So, does that mean I have another option? That I could…” Her voice is still thick with tears
,
but she sounds hopeful.
The front door of the lodge opens and in walks what
has
to be her father. He looks like her brother Keith, but also like money. Well
,
of course he does. So did Dana when she first got here. Though there’s something different about her father. I glance up at her tear
-
stained face as she looks up at her dad. Even in her sweatshirt and jeans, she looks like money. What have I been thinking?