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In mine, JIMJAMS pretended to have access to millions of dollars. When I paid him over $50,000 the guy legged it. Luckily I met a wonderful couple of chaps, a doctor and a policeman from Senegal. I'm not sure what's happened to the doctor but the policeman has managed to nab JIMJAMS after a large-scale land and sea assault. I think he's a great guy. Whereabouts in America are you?

Your Servant,

Bob Servant

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From: Randy Whyting

To: Bob Servant

Subject: ATTENTION MR. BOB

Attention: Mr Bob Servant,

Well I received your mail but let me ask, who gave you my email? Anyway, I am Mr Randy Whyting from WESTBROOK USA and in fact it is a terrible thing. I trusted JIMJAMS in helping him by putting his money into my account and I will take 20%. He and his group collaborated with a bank of Africa to collect my $72,000 and disappear.

My dear, the funniest thing is that this man use to dress like a woman! And he used to plate long hair according to the photo that he send when the transaction is going. I promised the police if they capture him i pay $12,500. I have heard the man has been captured and so I am going to go immediately with the money that i promised. I am also going to Dakar for the rest of my money. If you are also a victim like this, I advise you to do similar, that is the truth.

Thanks

Mr Randy Whyting

WESTBROOK USA.

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From: Bob Servant

To: Randy Whyting

Subject: Hello Randy

Hi Randy,

Thanks so much for getting in touch. You sound a little familiar, have we met before? I am deeply sorry you have also become a victim of JIMJAMS who you probably call a coyote in American. It's interesting he had long hair in the photo he sent you. The bit about women's clothes I think is a mix-up at your end but never mind that for now. Do you have an American landline I could call you on? Also, please send the photo of Jimjams. We should stay together in the hotel over there. We could curl up with a real weepy?

Many thanks,

Bob

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From: Randy Whyting

To: Bob Servant

Subject: ATTENTION MR BOB

Attn: Bob,

What up my man. I do not have the photo now as I deleted everything in my email but my lawyer in Dakar is a registered lawyer so he cannot tell me lies. My man I will be moving to Dakar as i told you. Concerning phone do not ask me about my phone because I do not know you before. Let us wait to meet in Dakar so we can see over each and get to know more better my man.

Bye

Mr Randy Whyting

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From: Bob Servant

To: Randy Whyting

Subject: Good Old Randy

Hi Randy,

What up my man? I love the way that you Americans speak, it's so distinctive. When are you flying over there Randy? How are you going to get from the ranch to the airport? Any chance of a photo of you? Not in a saucy way.

Bob

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From: Randy Whyting

To: Bob Servant

Subject: OK

Attn: Bob Servant,

How are you, my man? Please stop this bullshit about photo. Let us meet in Dakar and talk then. I am going there now and you should do the same if you do not want to lose your money. My friend all I know is that Jimjams is captured so let us go and get our money,

Bye

Randy

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From: Bob Servant

To: Youssou Ba

Subject: FW: OK

Youssou,

Jesus, what's going on with Randy? Check out the email attached. The guy sounds like a loose cannon. I don't think I want to come and share a hotel room with this lunatic. All I asked for was a photo and I madeit abundantly clear I didn't want it in a saucy way. I think we've landedourselves a real, old-time cowboy in Randy and I for one don't want to be around when he comes a-walking through the saloon doors. Fuck that. I'm out.

Bob

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From: Youssou Ba

To: Bob Servant

Subject: re:Randy

Dear Mr Bob,

My dear do not be upset by the American. I hear that he is a retired military man and his age now is 79 yrs ok. I need you to tell me that you are coming to claim your money and you are going to send the Gendarmerie the money that you owe them through Western Union. I am totally disappointed with you just now,

Sincerely

Mr Youssou Ba

GENDARMERIE

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From: Bob Servant

To: Randy Whyting

Subject: I have been a fool

Randy,

I think I owe you an apology. You should have said earlier that you were so old, Youssou just told me. I had no idea. Perhaps that's why your English isn't so good? Listen, I hope that your journey goes well and I look forward to seeing you over there. I get there on Wednesday evening.

Many thanks,

Bob

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From: Bob Servant

To: Youssou Ba

Subject: Back on track, clothing

Youssou,

All sorted with Randy. I didn't realise he was so old or I would have been more understanding. I am now fully satisfied with things. I am going to go to the travel agent tomorrow and confirm my flights. I'm worried about the heat. I have been offered two travelling outfits. One by Tommy Peanuts who is suggesting I borrow his jogging outfit and one by Frank's nephew who played Dr Livingstone in his school play. It was a great production. They gave a carry-out to a janitor at Ninewells Zoo and managed to get a lion in for it.
³³
Photos of the outfits are attached. Which one would you like to see me in? And hold me in, when we are alone in the hotel?

Bob

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From: Youssou Ba

To: Bob Servant

Subject: When do you come?

Dear Mr Bob Servant,

I will not be in your hotel I will be at home with my wife and children OK now? I think you should wear the blue outfit and this will be good as
then you will stand out at the airport. You must send the £2,500 now or at the very least bring the £5,000 cash for the airport.

Sincerely

Mr Youssou Ba

GENDARMERIE

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From: Bob Servant

To: Youssou Ba

Subject: A Special Request

Youssou,

One last request. I'd like to go on an off-road safari whilst there and wondered if you and your men would provide security? There will be lots of wild animals about (hopefully!) so you could ride on the roof of the van and, if any charge us, you would pick them off with potshots? I will be able to pass sandwiches up to you through the car windows, unless there are too many animals about as they might get the scent and take my arm off. It's hardly worth losing an arm for a sandwich? I am willing to pay you $100 a day for this security work. Please let me know if you accept, and also what kind of sandwiches you require. Many thanks, and happy hunting!

Bob

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From: Youssou Ba

To: Bob Servant

Subject: I will arrange

Attn; Mr Bob

Kind to hear from you, I will be glad to receive you. For your security you don't have any problem on the safari and also when not on the safari. We will eat before we come to work also. So feel free as you will rejoice when you will come down, confirm the flight name and number for me now. But you are dribbling me like a kid, saying you will come today, tomorrow? Please send the £2,500 in mean time?

Sincerely

Mr Youssou Ba

GENDARMERIE

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From: Bob Servant

To: Dr. Youssou Ba

Subject: Why the long face?

Youssou,

I would never dribble you like a kid. I have confirmed the flight and need to leave right now. Chappy Williams is taking me in his Sierra to Edinburgh Airport then I fly to Paris and then on to your country. I will email you from Paris, Chappy's son is showing me how to work his Blackberry so I will give it my best shot.
³⁴
As far as I'm concerned, if Randy can fly to Africa at the age of 79 then I can learn how to use a Blackberry at 63. He's an inspiration to us all, is old Randy Whyting.

I am wearing the blue travelling outfit as you requested. How will I know who you are at the airport on Saturday? Maybe you could wear something similar?

Bob

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From: Youssou Ba

To: Bob Servant

Subject: OK

Dear Mr Bob Servant,

Good. I will try to match. Please remember the £5,000 cash.

Sincerely

Mr Youssou Ba

GENDARMERIE

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From: Bob Servant

To: Dr. Mamadou Kouassi, Youssou Ba

Subject: FROM PARIS AIRPORT

Sent from my Blackberry

Doctor Marmalade and Youssou,

Hola my friends and greetings from Paris on the Blackberry! See you both at the airport I hope? Matching up to my travelling outfit is a really nice
touch. Not only will it make it easier to identify each other but it will make us feel closer to each other. Isn't it funny that, after all this time, we are about to finally meet? My flight details are below, I cannot wait to arrive.

DEPART - HEATHROW - 1700

ARRIVE - PARIS - 2200

DEPART - PARIS - 0800

ARRIVE - DHAKA - 1730

FLIGHT NO AZ675436

BANGLADESHI AIRLINES

COST - $1764.45

See you tomorrow in Dhaka,

All the very best,

Bob

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From: Dr. Mamadou Kouassi

To: Bob Servant

Subject: OK

Dear Bob,

Thank you for the information and I will keep on waiting at the airport for your arrival here in Dakar. It is Dakar not Dhaka. I am Mamadou.

Bye and God bless.

Dr.Mamadou.

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From: Bob Servant

To: Dr. Mamadou Kouassi

Subject: FROM PARIS AIRPORT

Sent From My Blackberry

Marmalade,

We're just boarding. A slight delay, the flight will now arrive in Dhaka at 1830. I have changed my money into Takas and I will see you at the airpot in Dhaka tonight. Ok, got to go. See you soon my friend. My love to Youssou and Randy,

Bob

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From: Dr. Mamadou Kouassi

To: Bob Servant

Subject: Dakar

DEAR BOB,

THANK YOU BUT IT IS DAKAR FOR THE PLANE YOU ARE TO GET

THANK YOU.

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From: Bob Servant

To: Dr. Mamadou Kouassi

Subject: You What?

Sent from my Blackberry

Dr Marmalade,

We have landed to refuel in Turkey. What is Dakar? I am going to Dhaka, I thought that was where you lived? That's the plane moving again, I arrive in Dhaka in a few hours. Will you be there to meet me? How is Randy?

Bob

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From: Dr. Mamadou Kouassi

To: Bob Servant

Subject: What do you mean?

BOB

IT SEEMS YOU ARE JOKING WITH ME? HAVE I TOLD YOU OF DHAKA EVER? I TOLD YOU DAKAR CAPITAL OF SENEGAL WEST AFRICA. IN FACT I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR POINT? ENTER AIR FRANCE TO DAKAR OK. DO IT NOW BOB.

THANK YOU

DR. MAMADOU.

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From: Bob Servant

To: Dr. Mamadou Kouassi

Subject: Eh?

Sent from my Blackberry

How am I meant to change planes? We're at 40,000 feet. I'm not fucking James Bond.

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From: Dr. Mamadou Kouassi

To: Bob Servant

Subject: re: Eh?

ENTER AIR FRANCE TO DAKAR IMMEDIATELY