All New Letters From a Nut (37 page)

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1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201

Customer Service Dept.
ALMOND JOY CANDY
c/o Hersheys Candy Co.
Hershey, PA 17033

Nov 17, 2009

Dear Hershy Candy:

I am in the process of marrying a a woman named JOY ALMOND. I met her through the Pacific Rim Dating Service. She cost me $300. in tests. She didn’t know there was a candy bar with her name backwards. I took her to the store and she had a good laugh. Then she was moody the rest of the day. I asked her why she was moody but she said nothing.

I pried but she sulked. When i unwrap an Almond Joy candy to enjoy she bares her teeth on me. But i like my Almond Joy. It is the finest candy out there with the combination of coconut sprinkles inside.

My relationship with this woman is strained. But what can i do, Almond Joy? Can you tell me how many calories are in one of your candy bars? I am getting heavy. I only eat Hershy candy. Do you still manufacture Jolly Ranchers? That is some candy!

Sincerely,

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December 3, 2009

Mr Ted Nancy
#193
1413 1/2 W Kenneth Rd
Glendale, CA 91201–1478

Dear Mr Nancy:

I hope you are enjoying ALMOND JOY Candy Bar. The nutrition information for this product is: Serving Size / Calories: 1 bar (1.61 oz)/220

Total Fat: 13 g
Saturated Fat: 8 g
Cholesterol: 0 mg
Sodium: 70 mg
Total Carbohydrates: 26 g
Dietary Fiber: 2g
Sugar: 20 g

We believe that confectionery can be part of a healthy diet. Both chocolate and non-chocolate candies contribute a great deal of enjoyment and satisfaction to eating without being a significant source of calories. As a matter of fact, confectionery products contribute less than 2% of the average adult and child’s daily intake of calories. As with all foods, the key to maintaining a healthy diet is to consume confections in moderation and as part of a balanced diet and active lifestyle.

The Hershey Company already offers consumers a variety of product choices and portion sizes to meet their individual lifestyle needs, promotes an active lifestyle, advertises and markets its products responsibly, and most importantly, ensures consumers have the nutrition information they need to make decisions about the role of individual products in their diet.

The vast majority of consumers know that candy is a treat and, like most foods, should be consumed in moderation as part of a balanced diet. The message is not intended to tell consumers what and how much food they should eat. That is entirely up to the individual consumer. The message is only intended to reinforce what is commonly recognized as good nutritional advice.

Your interest in our company is appreciated.

Sincerely,

Robert Lentz

Consumer Representative

Consumer Relations Department 100 Crystal A Drive • PO Box 815 • Hershey, Pennsylvania 17033–0815 • Phone: 1–800–468–1714 •
http://www.hersheys.com

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1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201
[email protected]

Jobs Dept.
City of Phoenix
Phoenix City Hall
200 W. Washington St.
Phoenix, AZ 85003

Aug 9, 2009

Dear City Of Phoenix:

I will be moving to Phoenix soon for the moisture and seeking employment. I was told to write you and you could direct me to the proper department. I am seeking job information.

I am an expert that can identify ladders. I am a level 5Bjs trained specialist. I have taught ladders at the Internet junior college level (in Berlin) I have 3 diplomas signed by officials with embossed raised seals. I can identify step ladders and kitchen stools. There is a difference! I can tell an aluminum 5 step ladder from a 3 step roof ladder. paint stained ladders are a specialty and i have written pamphlets on these. Yesterday a man asked me to show him a wooden ladder. I did. Because of my standing in the German ladder community I am respected and called on for professional opinions.

I was told the City of Phoenix has jobs available in the LADDER SECTOR. Where do I apply? How can I fill out papers? Will you help me?

Phoenix has the best barbecue in Arizona. I once had a chicken sandwich there (in 2004) I have had only 1 accident with a ladder.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Respectfully,

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Fw: City of Phoenix Feedback
Inbox x

Hi Ted,

I am not aware of any ladder specialist positions at the City of Phoenix, but I am going to provide you with the steps you need to know in order to apply for positions with the City. Good luck!

The City of Phoenix offers a list of employment opportunities that are available each week and we accept resumes and/or applications only for currently advertised openings. Log on to
phoenix.gov/jobs
for a complete list of current recruitments. You may also sign up to receive a weekly recruitment listing email at this site.

HOW TO APPLY
: You may apply for a position during the recruitment period, which can last for one week up to several weeks/months. All applicants will be evaluated to determine if they meet the minimum requirements of that particular position (as stated on the job announcement). If they do, their name is placed on the eligible list and that list is given to any hiring supervisor who has the authorization to fill their vacancy for that job classification. The list of names is valid for up to 12 months and you need to apply for each of our positions individually.

I hope this information helps you, please let me know if I can answer any other questions for you.

Laura Neal
Personnel Analyst II
City of Phoenix Employment Services
(602) 261–8864 (w)
(602) 495–5498 (fax)
— Forwarded by Laura Neal/PER/PHX on 08/11/2009 09:05 AM —