All New Letters From a Nut (40 page)

Kate Houlihan
Customer Adviser
Retail Customer Services

Marks and Spencer plc
Registered Office:
Waterside House
35 North Wharf Road
London W2 1NW
Registered No. 214436
(England and Wales)

Full text of the above letter to follow.

1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201

MS. Kate Houlihan
Customer Service
MARKS & SPENCER GIFT SHOPPE
PO Box 288
Warrington
WA5 7WZ

Jan 2, 2010

Dear MS. Houlihan Marks & Spencer Gift Shoppe,

Thank you for answering me and telling me about the Hamper.

I am sorry you do not stock my items. I was given the items as a gift from my lady friend who lives in Great Britain. Her name is Lucy. Can we make arraignments for me to ship items to her?

I am looking for the the OLD DWARF FUDDY DUDDY FATTY PATTIES. Do you carry? they are delicious and we are both long time eaters of the HUNGRY DWARF FROZEN FOODS line of quality food.

Also … can i order a personalized cake from you that feeds 36? A sponge cake please with fancy writing on it. (for Lucy)

What about USA delivery? I am being told you now send to the U.S. Or should i have you delver it to Lucy in England? (weighs 500)

Thank you for your reply on: The cake. Dwarf food.

Respectfully,

Full text of the above letter to follow.

F. D. NANCY
1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201

Ticket Info
Ahmanson Theatre
601 W. Temple St.
Los Angeles, CA 90012

27 Apr 09

DEAR Ahmanson Theater:

I am writing about not receiving my tickets yet to one of your musicals.

I had purchased 4 tickets to the saucy revue “NOT ON MY DINNER PLATE YOU WON’T” and have not yet received them. They were bought some time ago and the play is coming up rapidly. I am anxious.

This is for the June 1 performance in the Loge. I only sit in the Loge. Except when I sit in the Mezzanine (or the balcony) But only the Loge. Can you check your Loge seating for:

June 1
4 tickets
“NOT ON MY DINNER PLATE YOU WON’T”

I have the correct paperwork if you need to see. Could also be under the name of REV. JUANITA MINCEY, group leader. Or possibly under DR. KARL PEACH) I have gone to past performances at the Ahmanson and have always been very happy. Now I have no tickets to this saucy afternoon revue matinee that was a staple in Laughlin at the Ginger Belle Hotel. (I was a platinum copper delegate) I was delighted when i heard your theater was re-doing it into a grand musical.

Please, can you check for me? Thank you for your reply.

Respectfully,

F. D. Nancy (MR)

Full text of the above letter to follow.

L.A.’s Theatre Company

F. D. Nancy
1413 1/2 Kenneth Road #193
Glendale, CA 91201

Ahmanson Theatre | Mark Taper Forum | Kirk Douglas Theatre
OFFICES
601 West Temple Street, Los Angeles, CA 90012
CenterTheatreGroup.org

April 28, 2009

Dear F. D. Nancy:

Thank you for your letter. Unfortunately, we do not have a show called “Not on My Dinner Plate You Won’t” and we also do not have a show on June 1
^st
. I believe you may have the wrong venue. Please double check your paperwork as no one here has even heard of the show.

If you have any questions please feel free to call 213.628.2772 and an Audience Services Phone Representative will be happy to assist you.

Respectfully Yours,

Alice Chen
Audience Services Assistant Supervisor
Center Theatre Group

Full text of the above letter to follow.

TED L. NANCY
1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201
Nov 1, 2008

Reservations
EMBASSY SUITES HOTEL
9801 Airport Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90045

Dear Embassy Suites Hotel:

I want to stay at your hotel for one night December 10, 2008. I want to check in with my own ice machine. I have been traveling with my ice machine since 1996 when I stayed at the Disneyland Hotel & wrote them a very nice letter. To date there have been no incidents.

This ice machine is five feet high and three feet wide. I can get it to the room by myself. I measured your front desk area and I have 17 inches to maneuver it to the elevator without hitting anyone. (If I am careful).

This ice machine DOES NOT drip anymore on the carpet. The pan is fixed! All rust has been removed. Cracked tray replaced. And if it does drip I will bring carpet swatches to replace the dripped on area. I have 2 shades of shag. Avocado and Flonge. This will allow me to have fresh ice in the room without having to go in the hallway.

I have always admired the Embassy Suites Hotel. They cater to the traveler, of which I am one. I like your pool mats. They are the finest I have ever laid on. Even when I turn. I highly recommend them. (If I could)

Please confirm my reservation for December 10th, 2008. I await my stay.

Sincerely,