All New Letters From a Nut (39 page)

F. D. Nancy (MR)

Full text of the above letter to follow.

MailBox: BUSINESSES

Subject
        Re: Inquire about Everbest (Qingdao) Company

Sent Date
        08–03–2009 8:48:28 PM

From
        “hantangfushi” <
[email protected]
>

To
        
[email protected]

Cc
        
[email protected]

Dear Mr Nancy,

Glad receiving your enquiry! We do manufacture by pictures and samples. We still don’t have an exact view of your mentioned owl capone, so please send us the pictures.

As the gangster costumes and smallish spats, we enclose some of our products for your reference.

Looking forward for our long-term, stable business relations.

Best regards,

Joanna yu.

Full text of the above letter to follow.

Full text of the above letter to follow.

1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201

Customer Service
MARKS & SPENCER GIFT SHOPPE
PO Box 288
Warrington
WA5 7WZ

Nov 23, 2009

Dear Marks & Spencer Gift Shoppe,

I have been eating the FAMISHED DWARF FROZEN DINNERS since 1994. (when i did not eat it). This is for plus size dwarfs. The company i usually deal with had their plant shut down for Indian Mealmoth infestation. Naturally i can’t order from them anymore.

I was told your delightful English Gift Shoppe carried this line for elegant eaters like myself. i weigh 400. There are 2 Famished Dwarf products i currently eat: BIG MANS DWARF FOOD & HEFTY FATTY DWARF FROZEN DESSERTS.

Can you send me the new price list? I understand Prince Charles shoppes at your store. Delightful! I may also want a Snuggie. Which i believe you stock. What are Food Hampers? is it what I think it is? Do you separate?

Respectfully,

Full text of the above letter to follow.

MARKS & SPENCER

Retail Customer Services
Chester Business Park
Wrexham Road
Chester
CH4 9GA
Tel: 0845 302 1234
Fax: 0845 303 0170
www.marksandspencer.com

Our Ref: 1–257166077
10 December 2009

Mr Ted Nancy
1413 1/2 Kenneth Road
#193 Glendale
CA 91201
USA

Dear Mr Nancy

Thank you for your letter and for taking an interest in the items that M&S currently sell.

We do stock a large range of fresh and frozen prepared meals but do not currently sell the particular range that you referred to in your letter. We do not currently have any stores in the USA and also do not deliver our food internationally and so I am at a loss to explain how you would be able to get the prepared meals that we do sell. In addition, we also do not stock ‘snuggies’ and so I am afraid that I am unable to help you locate them in our stores.

During the Christmas period, we are selling food hampers which are boxes or baskets of various luxury food and drink items which can be sent as gifts. These are delivered to customers at home, or there are also some which can be bought directly from our stores. Again, we only deliver these hampers to UK addresses and so I’m afraid that they are not available in the USA.

I am sorry that I cannot help you further at this time but if you do require any further information about our products, please do not hesitate to write to us again.

Thank you again for getting in touch with us.

Yours sincerely