All New Letters From a Nut (22 page)

Please write and let me know how I may get a government position as a cheese judge. I will relocate to Kirkland which I understand has a large cheese eating population.

Sincerely,

Full text of the above letter to follow.

Ted L. Nancy
560 N. Moorpark Rd. #236
Thousand Oaks, CA 91360

Dear Mr. Nancy:

We received your letter and appreciate your interest in working for the City of Kirkland. Unfortunately, we don’t have any openings in your area of interest.

The City of Kirkland has a strong employee wellness program. We have found with the increased interest and desire for a healthy lifestyle, the demand for low-fat cheese has overwhelmed the Kirkland market.

With the increase in development many local merchants are having problems with rodents. They might have an interest in your scrap cheese. I recommend contacting the Kirkland Chamber of Commerce.

“Gouda” luck in your job search.

Sincerely,

Annette Briggs
Human Resource Analyst

Full text of the above letter to follow.

TED L. NANCY
1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd #193
Glendale, CA 91201
[email protected]

Wits Language School
Wits University,
Private Bag X3,
PO Box 2050,
Johannesburg, South Africa
Email:
[email protected]

Apr 28, 2009

Dear Wits Language School

I saw your ad on the Internet while i was looking for pouch rash cream. (I feed kangaroos.) I need to learn South African Sign Language fast! I am starting a job in an Indian Casino in Primm and there are Chinook supervisors there who i need to converse with. They are mute & from South Africa. We will talk Mostly about work but some non work conversing. Can you help?

Is this the same Chinook sign language I think it is? A rapid almost “yelling” language with some blurting?

My new co-worker went to you online and he learned much. When does school start? Send me info.

Sincerely,

Full text of the above letter to follow.

South African Sign Language Courses
Juliet Mabjana
Tue, Jun 2, 2009 at 1:23 AM

TED L. NANCY
<
[email protected]
>
Tue, Jun 2, 2009 at 9:31 AM

From: Juliet Mabjana
<
[email protected]
>
Date: Tue, 2 Jun 2009 10:23:34 +0200
Subject: South African Sign Language Courses
To:
[email protected]

Dear Nancy

Thank you for your enquiry about the SA Sign Language Courses. We offer part time SASL course and you have to attend classes in Johannesburg. We do not offer distance learning or online courses for SASL or any of our courses

SASL is a visual and manual language using hands, fingers, face and eyes. It does not have any sort of sounds. Since you are in the USA, it is advisable for you to learn American Sign Language because Deaf South Africans will understand the gist of what you are trying to say.

Regards,

Juliet Mabjana

African, Asian and European Languages
Wits Education Campus, Student Union Bldg

Short Courses Coordinator
St Andrews Road
011 717 3770
Parktown

Full text of the above letter to follow.

F.D. NANCY
1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201
[email protected]

Reservations
Casa Delfino Hotel
9 Theofanus Street
73100 Chania
Crete, Greece
Email:
[email protected]

12 Apr 2009

Dear Casa Delfino Hotel:

I would like a reservation for 9 nights at your hotel. You have been highly recommended by the Pinecone Association Of Atlanta where, I believe, many of our members have stayed.

I was hoping for a rate consideration and was told to contact the hotel directly. I am a traveler.

Info: I will be arriving by sea shuttle on May 16, 2009 and checking out May 23, 2009. I may need a late check-out as I am part of a Theater Group and will need to practice my two lines in your lobby from 2 in the afternoon until 3:45. I will say: “Is Andy there?” And “May I speak to Andy?” over and over again until I am picked up for my performance. Is that Okay? I don’t think I will disturb others in your lobby as I will not YELL “Is Andy There?” I will just say it as in conversation. Or perhaps you can direct me to a room off the lobby where I may practice. My theater director Ediz Flacos asked me to practice around people as I will miss the rehearsal because I am arriving late and the first performance is that night. So I will have to say “Is Andy there?’ And “May I speak to Andy?” over and over again for 2 hours. However, I may say “Are you Andy?” (from time to time but not that much) That line MAY be in the play. Will know that night.

Please confirm a suite for me from 16 May – 23 May. Once again you have been HIGHLY recommended from an individual in the Atlanta area. My sea shuttle number is 612-B17. Thank you. I am anxious to eat at you Restaurant for your soup. I await confirmation.

Sincerely,

F.D. Nancy