All New Letters From a Nut (24 page)

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From
:            Casa Delfino                       
Sent
:                   Tuesday, 14 April, 2009

Message
:                Dear Ms./Mr. Nancy

Full text of the above letter to follow.

F. D. NANCY (MR)
1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201
[email protected]

Reservations
Casa Delfino Hotel
9 Theofanus Street
73100 Chania
Crete, Greece
Email:
[email protected]

17 April 2009

Dear Casa Del Fino Hotel.

Again, my highest platinum, gold circle, cul de sac compliments to you. (the highest in the real estate world.) Now. With regards to my yelling out the name “Michael” in the lobby for 6 straight hours … That is changed. I am now moving up to the part of Michael. So I can’t yell Michael out. The other Michael has taken ill with Sars. I will now yell out “Is Tito there?” “May I speak with Tito?” OK? Also can you recommend an actor to play the role of Andy? He has come down with Swine Flu.

Once again: 12 nights May 16 May 26. Please include Roy Gum. We made need a vinyl medical tent in the room. How do we proceed? My sea shuttle number has been changed once again to BRAAAACK V-17 L-1. Do you have bread? I await my conformation number.

Respectfully,

F.D. Nancy

(Michael)

Full text of the above letter to follow.

F. D. NANCY
1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201

Information
Civil War Museum
5400 First Avenue
Kenosha, WI 53140

5 Apr, 09

Dear Civil War Museum.

Someone told me you had a class in RUBBER STAMPING.

I will be in Kenosha all spring & summer as part of my rubber stamp association group. This is a group that meets semi quarterly and discusses rubber stamps and their history. Nothing else. Two of our group members walked in front of a train.

How do I sign up?

We create many items such as cards and gifts with our rubber stamps and am anxious for a few of us to attend your class. Our life is rubber stamping. Nothing else. A past member jumped off a roof.

Where do we sign up?

Thank you for writing me with information. All we talk about and care about are rubber stamps. That’s it. One group member lit himself on fire in front of the rest of the group. Kenosha is a beautiful city and is really the heart of Wisconsin. Not the cheese.

Respectfully,

F.D. Nancy

Full text of the above letter to follow.

Kenosha Public Museum
5500 First Avenue
Kenosha, WI 53140
262.653.4140
www.kenoshapublicmuseum.org

Dinosaur Discovery Museum
5608 Tenth Avenue
Kenosha, WI 53140
262.653.4450
www.dinosaurdiscoverymuseum.org

Civil War Museum
5400 First Avenue
Kenosha, WI 53140
Opening in Spring 2008
www.thecivilwarmuseum.org

April 14, 2009

F. D. Nancy
1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201

Dear F. D.,

Thank you for your interest in the Kenosha Public Museums rubber stamping class. The class was scheduled to start this week but was canceled due to low registration. We will not be offering the rubber stamping class again until the fall. The only adult classes that we offer over the summer are basket making workshops.

If you’d like to check out some of our other classes and workshops they are all listed on our website at
www.kenoshapublicmuseum.org
.

If you have any questions about any of the Kenosha Public Museums and our educational programming, please feel free to contact me.

Sincerely,

I’ve enclosed the pager from the spring program schedule that includes the classes and workshaps.

Full text of the above letter to follow.

F. D. NANCY
1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd. #193
Glendale, CA 91201

Information
Civil War Museum
5400 First Avenue
Kenosha, WI 53140

18 May 2009

Dear Kenosha Civil War Museum.

Thank you for getting back to me and telling me the Rubber Stamp Classes were canceled. This depressed a group member and he electrocuted himself in his bath tub. He used Calgon bath softener to relax then threw a fan in. Went up like Cuban Independence Day.

Now down to me. I was told you had a class in WOODCARVING. I belong to a group & that is all we do. Carve Wood. I will be in Kenosha in July as part of my wood carving group. This is a group that meets semi quarterly and discusses wood & carving. Nothing else. We are dedicated. Two of our depressed group members jumped from a moving car on the Freeway.

How do we all sign up?

We create many items such as holders and gifts with our wood carvings and am anxious for us to attend your class. Our life is wood. (and carving). Nothing else. A past member leaped from a cliff.

Thank you for writing me with information. All we talk about and care about are wood carvings and metal feet. That’s it. One group member threw a rope over an exposed beam in his laundry room, put it around his neck, and stepped off his hamper. His leg twitched.

Kenosha is a beautiful city and is really the heart of Wisconsin. Not the sausage. Can you book a private tour of the Civil War Museum as i have heard?

Respectfully,

F.D. Nancy (MR)

Full text of the above letter to follow.

VISIT THE CIVIL WAR MUSEUM AT HARBOR PARK
. Experience the history, the people and the stories of the Upper Midwest. Interactive exhibits, Veterans Memorial Gallery, Resource Center and Gift Shop. Open daily.

5400 First Avenue • Kenosha, WI 53140 • 262–653–4141
www.thecivilwarmuseum.org