All New Letters From a Nut (25 page)

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Authors: Alan. Ted L.,Marder Nancy

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Thanks for your inquiry but we do not have calving classes in funmer information visit our website
www.theavilwarmseum.org

FD Nancy

14131/2 Kenneth Rd

#193

Glendale CA

91201

Full text of the above letter to follow.

TED L. NANCY
560 No. Moorpark Rd. Apt #236
Thousand Oaks, CA 91360 USA

Disease Prevention Information
ARIZONA DEPT OF HEALTH SERVICES
2700 N 3rd St.
Phoenix, AZ 85004

Dear Arizona Disease Prevention Services:

I have a Disease question to ask you. I am leaving from Phoenix by cattle on a trip:

I travel with 52 pictures of Popeye. I take ALL my Popeye pictures with me when I go to a hotel. I will have 9 pictures of Popeye on my dresser. I will put 14 pictures of Popeye near my bed. I will hang SOME pictures of Popeye on the wall. (I use Baboon Glue, the Popeye wall fastener). Will you wash my frog? I even take 12 pictures of Popeye into the shower with me. Don’t worry they won’t get wet. I hold them OUTSIDE of the shower while the water is running on me. Who would want to get a picture of Popeye wet? My dog smells?

I will bring my Bun Scruncher with me, is that ok? I need it! If I am to have solid buttocks like my neighbors. I will work my buttocks in my room. I work one buttock then I work the other.

My Disease question: Can I get a disease from cologne that I bring back from a foreign visit? I believe this is scientific. Cologne CAN cause disease. Thank you. I think the Disease Dept. does a fantastic job. Please direct me to the proper place.

Respectfully,

Full text of the above letter to follow.

Bureau of Public Health Statistics
2700 N Third Street; Suite #4075
Phoenix, Arizona 85004–1186
(602) 542–7331 Phone
(602) 364–0082 FAX
Internet E-mail:
[email protected]

JANE DEE HULL, GOVERNOR
JAMES L. SCHAMADAN, M.D., ACTING DIRECTOR

Ted L. Nancy
560 N Moorpark Rd
Apt # 236
Thousand Oaks, CA 91360

Dear Ted:

This letter is in response to an undated letter that was recently referred to my office.

There is no scientific reason to believe that foreign cologne would be more likely to cause disease than would domestic cologne.

Some persons are offended by the strong odor of cologne. If you are one of those persons, it would be best if you avoid cologne altogether. If you are still concerned about foreign cologne, then I would suggest that you bring your own when you travel.

Sincerely,

Medical Director

~
Leadership for a Healthy Arizona
~

Full text of the above letter to follow.

1413 1/2 Kenneth Rd #193
Glendale, CA 91201
[email protected]

BANNERS & SIGNS FOR LESS
23922 Crenshaw Blvd.
Torrance, CA 90505
[email protected]

Jul 28, 2009

Dear Sign Making Company,

I am opening a business soon and need a sign made.

I am opening next to a KOO KOO ROO Restaurant.

My business is called: I AM THE WALRUS. I need a sign that says that.

Then I will put my sign next to the KOO KOO ROO restaurant.

So I will have one big sign that says:

I AM THE WALRUS KOO KOO ROO

Can you make? How much? When? I look forward to my sign.

With respect for others’ businesses,

Full text of the above letter to follow.

LARGE SIGN MADE

Banners & Signs 4 Less <
[email protected]
>

To: “TED L. NANCY” <
[email protected]
>

Tue, Jul 28, 2009 at 2:17 PM

Hello,

What type of sign are you looking for? Do you have the sizes?

If you have the sign program for your property, we can review it.


Should you require additional information, please contact me directly.

Thank you,

Taylor Ton
Banners & Signs 4 Less
23922 Crenshaw Blvd.
Torrance, CA 90505
310.891.2399
310.891.2397 f
www.bannerforless.com
[Quoted text hidden]

“I DON’T LIKE FLAPPY THINGS.”

—PHYLLIS MURRHY (A P
ERSON
O
F
I
NTEREST
),
Wh
E
n I
AS
k
E
d h
E
r — Why don’t you G
E
t
A
bi
R
d?

Full text of the above letter to follow.

560 N. Moorpark Rd.
Suite #236
Thousand Oaks, CA 91360

Corporate Information
BLUE BIRD GRAPEFRUITS
10135 Mill Rd.
Peshashtin, WA 98847

Dear Bluebird Grapefruits:

I am looking to employ your grapefruit mascot, PULPY, for my ad campaign. I have always enjoyed Pulpy and I think he would be a fine addition to our new ads. I was wondering if you would give me permission to use his likeness, name, and stomach size for our newest bus bench advertising.

My advertising campaign is called “Granny Takes A Squirt”. I will show senior citizens taking a nice squirt of grapefruit juice in their eye. Then with one eye shut tight like Popeye they will say: “I eat grapefruit because Pulpy tells me too. Sometimes I take it in the eye.”

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