Until Then (Cornerstone Book 2) (10 page)

“I didn’t,” she interrupted.

He looked at her, his brow furrowed.

“Up until that day, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with what I was doing.” Tears threatened. She was not used to all the tears. “But the way you looked at me, I knew you regretted it. I’d never had that happen before. I never felt like it was wrong before. Nobody ever told me it was wrong.”

A tear slid down her cheek, and he gently brushed it away.

“I liked you so much,” she continued. “And I thought that’s what I had to do to get you to like me, too.”

He smiled a little, but there was a hint of sadness there. “I liked you so much, too.”

His words simultaneously melted and broke her heart. More tears filled her eyes.

“But this isn’t all on you.” He shook his head. “We were both there. And I’m really the one to blame here.”

“You were right. I threw myself at you.” She looked down and bit her lower lip, trying to stop the tears.

“I shouldn’t have said that.” He tilted his head in an attempt to regain her attention.

She glanced his way. “It’s the truth, though.”

“I could have stopped.” He stared out at the lake. “I should have. But we can’t take it back.”

“I’m so sorry, Sean.” Her chin quivered. “I’m sorry I took something from you, something so special that you can’t ever get back. Can you ever forgive me for that?”

He reached out and touched her chin, turning her face toward his. “Hey, it’s OK. I forgive you.”

The tears let loose then, and he wrapped her in his arms. He softly rubbed his hands up and down her back as she cried, and she wanted to stay there forever.

When he eventually released her from his embrace, she wiped her tears on the edge of the blanket.

“Michelle, I shouldn’t have lied to you. I shouldn’t have misled you like that. I hope you can forgive me, too.”

She leaned her head on his shoulder, and he lowered his to rest against hers. “Of course, I can. A few months ago, even a few days ago, I might not have been able to say that. But if God can forgive me for all the horrible things I’ve done, then I can forgive you for this.”

He lifted his head and looked at her.

A stray tear fell down her cheek, and she shrugged her shoulders and smiled. “I got saved this weekend.”

He abruptly hugged her. “That’s so awesome, Michelle.”

“Thank you.”

As he let go, he kissed her on the cheek. “Welcome to the family.” He wore a huge smile.

“Huh?”

“The family of Christ. You’re one of us now,” he said with a wink.

She grinned. “I like that.”

Sean grabbed two water bottles and a couple napkins from the picnic basket and handed one of each to Michelle.

“Thanks.” She dabbed her eyes with the napkin and crinkled it up.

“You might wanna hold onto that. There’s something else I need to tell you.” He took a big swig from the water bottle.

She waited for what felt like bad news.

He set the bottle down and cleared his throat. “I’m not coming back after winter break.”

“What? Why not?” Her response nearly caught in her throat.

“When I chose Cornerstone for my basketball scholarship, I agreed to represent this school and all they stand for. I agreed to the rules.
All
of the rules.”

“Sean.” This was worse than anything she could have imagined.

“But I broke one. A big one. And I’m going to speak to the dean this week and admit what I did.”

“No. You don’t have to do that,” she pleaded. “Maggie and Emma will never tell. Nobody else knows about us. And I’ll never say a word. I promise.”

“Yeah, but
I
will know, and the guilt will eat me alive.”

Tears again? She was sure her eyes would be swollen shut by morning at this rate. Desperation, panic, and fear caused a million thoughts to fly through her mind as she tried to concoct a way to keep him there.

“I just wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” His bottom lip stuck out in an adorable pout.

He truly was a good and honorable guy, and now he was leaving. Just when she was starting to get her own life figured out and things were right between them.

“What will your parents say?” she asked.

“They already know.”

“I’m gonna miss you.” Her voice was quiet. She couldn’t believe he was leaving. Now that the communication lines were open again, she didn’t want this to be the end.

He took her face in his hands. “I’m gonna miss you more than you will ever know.”

“I wish we could go back and start over at the beginning of the semester, do everything differently.”

“Me, too. But maybe it’s for the best.”

How could him leaving possibly be for the best?
Her puzzled expression demanded an explanation.

“Hey, if things had been different, you might not have gotten saved.”

“Maybe. But I don’t want you to leave.”

“I know.” He let go of her face and took another sip from the water bottle.

“And you should know this about me. I don’t do goodbyes.” She cringed as the word left her lips. She could still hear the words her mother spoke every time her father left on another one of his trips.
Say goodbye to your father.
Anxiety began to build inside her just thinking about it. “There were too many of those with my dad when I was growing up, and I just can’t handle it.”

“Well, we don’t have to say it.” He put his arm around her shoulders. “We’ll just say … until then.”

She looked at him sadly. “Until when?”

“Until the next time we see each other.”

“What if that never happens?” Her heart broke a little at the thought.

“It will.” He spoke with confidence. “Even if it’s not in our lifetime, we’ll see each other one day in Heaven.”

She breathed out, exasperated. “That sounds morbid.”

“It’s not morbid. It’s eternity together with God. Sounds pretty good to me.”

“I hope we don’t have to wait that long.” She smiled at him.

“Me, too.”

They stayed to watch the sunset, then Sean returned her to the dorm.

“Thanks for coming out with me tonight.” He hugged her tightly against him, and she never wanted him to let go. “Pray for me, OK?”

“I will.” His meeting with the dean was sure to be scary and uncomfortable.

His arms loosened, and he pulled back just enough to place a soft, tender kiss on her lips.

Her stomach flipped at the contact.

“Three-second rule!” cried Jill and Darcy from their dorm room window, which had a front row seat to the door.

Michelle and Sean laughed. It felt wonderful to laugh with him again.

He leaned in and gave her one more three-second kiss.

“Rule breaker,” she whispered.

He grinned at that. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

Michelle floated into the dorm and down the hallway, where she was tackled by her roommates. They dragged her into the room and slammed the door.

“Did we just see you with Sean?” Maggie asked.

“What happened?” Emma had made such an effort to support her, despite how uncomfortable she was about Michelle and Sean’s night together.

Michelle didn’t know where to start. “I have so much to tell you, but before I do, I want to hear about your Thanksgiving holidays.”

“No way!” Maggie cried. “We’re not letting you off the hook.”

Michelle laughed, and the phone started ringing. She lunged for it, beating them to the receiver. “Hello?”

“Hey, Chelle. I’m back!” Simon announced.

“So you are. How was your flight?”

“Good. How was your holiday in the dorm? Miserable without me, right?”

“Absolutely miserable.” Her tone held a hint of sarcasm, and she rolled her eyes at her roommates.

“Is that Simon?” Emma whispered.

“Yeah, it’s him.”

“Hey, are your roommates back yet?” he asked.

“Yeah, they’re both here. Do you wanna talk—”

“No,” Simon cut her off. “I wanna talk to you.”

“Okaaay.”
Weird.

Simon’s end of the line was silent.

“Did you have turkey and stuffing? A good home-cooked meal?” she asked.

“Home-cooked?” He laughed. “We had it catered in.”

While Simon shared the details of their dinner and house full of guests, Michelle noticed Emma brush a tear from her cheek. She was subtle about it, turning away and casually wiping as she stretched her arms above her head, but Michelle caught a glint of light reflected on the tear. Something was going on between Emma and Simon. She was sure of it.

Simon finished his story. “I don’t wanna interrupt your girl time. Just wanted to hear your voice. I’ll see ya’ tomorrow.”

“OK.”

“Night, Chelle.” And he hung up.

Michelle slowly turned to face Emma, who looked as if she might burst into tears at any moment.

“I’m gonna go get ready for bed.” Emma pouted as she gathered her toiletries.

“Emma, what’s wrong?” Michelle asked.

“Nothing.”

“You can talk to us, Em,” Maggie assured her. “You know that.”

“Simon never called me.”

“Oh, I’m sure he was just busy with his family.” Michelle defended him. “Plus, it’s long distance to call from California.”

“I guess. It’s just … he said he’d call. He hasn’t been returning any of my calls lately. Not since …” Her words trailed off.

“Not since what?” Michelle asked.

“It’s nothing. Never mind.”

Michelle looked at Maggie, who shook her head in disgust.

“I don’t know how you can be friends with him. He’s such a jerk.” Maggie turned her attention to Emma. “He’s a guy, Em. Sometimes they don’t call when they say they will. Ben does that to me all the time. It’s annoying, but I think it’s just a guy thing.”

Michelle knew the conversation would somehow be steered back to Ben. Maggie had a one-track mind. But Michelle didn’t want to hear about Ben tonight. She wanted to comfort Emma. And she wanted to share her important news with her friends. She wanted to tell them she was a Christian now, just like them.

But then Emma asked Maggie if she saw Ben much at Thanksgiving, and Maggie spent the next who-knows-how-long gushing about him. She was talking fast and bursting with excitement. “We went to church together this morning, and he put his arm around me. The whole weekend felt just like old times.”

By the time Maggie finished her stories, Emma seemed to forget the fact that Simon had blown her off. Michelle was more than a little curious to know why Simon chose not to speak to Emma earlier.

It also seemed to slip their minds that Michelle and Sean had been seen kissing by the front door. She tried not to be hurt that what happened in her life didn’t seem as important as theirs. But it did hurt. For once in her life, she had real girlfriends. She had let them into her heart, but she doubted that she was truly accepted into theirs. Like because of the things she had done before, she wasn’t worthy of true friendship status or something.

Suddenly, she didn’t feel much like sharing after all.

Simon’s reaction to the news of her salvation was a bear hug and a simple “good for you”, which was kind of a letdown. She thought everyone would be as happy for her as Janice and Sean had been. Simon was her best friend. At least he claimed to be. He, of all people, should be taking her out to celebrate.

She knew Simon was a Christian, yet he didn’t seem to be very focused on that part of his life. When she asked to hear the story of how he got saved, he told her he barely remembered it. It was at his church’s Vacation Bible School when he was five.

“I prayed with one of the leaders, and that was it,” he told her.

That
was
it.
That
was the moment his life had changed. Yet he acted like it was no big deal. Maybe it was because he made the decision at such a young age. Maybe growing up surrounded by Christians and going to church every week had become just another routine and had made him complacent.

“Did you hear about Sean leaving school?” he asked during their walk to chapel.

“Yeah.” She hung her head, partly because she was sad about Sean, but also because she had expected more of a reaction to her news, not a change of subject.