Until Then (Cornerstone Book 2) (7 page)

“So, you didn’t tell me you’re from Chicago.”

“You didn’t ask.” He tilted his head.

“I’m from Chicago, too,” she revealed. “Where do you live?”

“Oak Brook. How ‘bout you?”

Hearing he was from Oak Brook, an affluent suburb, made her embarrassed to admit where she and her mother had lived.

“Um, a few places.” She hesitated. “Mostly South Side, around Bridgeport and Douglas.”

Sean nodded. “I’ve never been there.”

“I didn’t figure.” Why would he ever have a reason to visit that part of town? She wondered if he thought less of her now that he knew where she came from.

“Do you miss it?”

“I miss my friends.” She thought about her so-called friends for a moment. She hadn’t thought about any of them in a while, and not one of them had stayed in touch with her. “Actually, no. I take that back. I thought I’d miss them, but I don’t.” And she was surprised to find that it was the truth. “I miss the city sometimes. Not the crime, though. A couple places we lived weren’t very safe, especially at night.”

Sean looked at her with concern. “Well, I’m glad you’re here instead of there then.”

“Yeah, this place is like the polar opposite of where I grew up.”

He laughed, and her heart skipped a beat at the sound.

“How ‘bout you?” she asked. “Are you homesick?”

“I miss my family, but I’m happy to be at Cornerstone. I’m here on a basketball scholarship.”

“Simon mentioned that.”

Sean nodded.

“So, a scholarship. You must be really good then.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I do OK.”

“OK? I bet you’re better than OK to get a scholarship. I was lucky if my butt ever left the bench.”

“Oh, you played in school?”

She nodded. “Yeah, but I wasn’t good enough for a fancy scholarship.” She elbowed him, which prompted his great laugh again. She was tempted to keep doing it just to hear that sound.

“I’m sure you’re better than you’re letting on.”

“I do OK,” she teased.

He elbowed her. “I think I see a little one-on-one in our future.”

She raised an eyebrow at his comment, and she thought he actually blushed. She knew he didn’t mean it the way it sounded, but the innuendo was out there. No taking it back now.

He laughed nervously. “I mean … we should … ya’ know, shoot hoops sometime.”

She loved the way he stumbled over his words when he was nervous around her. It gave her a heady feeling knowing she affected him so.

“We will,” she replied.

The windows of Sean’s maroon, two-door Chevy Corsica were steamy with condensation. After dinner, they took a detour to a nearby secluded parking lot to say goodnight. Another of Michelle’s “favorite” college rules was the limit of three seconds for a goodnight kiss at the door. That was simply not going to fly with her.

Sean was the best kisser. Tender and passionate. His hands were strong, yet gentle.
Those hands wandered, sliding beneath the back of her shirt, flirting with the clasp of her bra.

So that’s how it’s gonna be, is it?

She shifted in the passenger seat to get closer. Making out in a vehicle was not exactly easy or comfortable.

He leaned away, breathing heavily, and glanced at the back seat.

Her eyes met his, and she nodded in reply.

“Ladies first.”

They took turns climbing between the seats, laughing at their not-so-graceful maneuvers. She tumbled into the back, her right leg somehow twisted up in the seatbelt. He unwound her, then climbed through, only to get his leg wedged between the driver seat and the steering wheel. They couldn’t stop laughing, and that laugh of his skyrocketed him from hot to simply irresistible.

When Sean finally made it into the back seat, she moved into his arms, leaning her body into his. Many minutes passed as they kissed, pulses racing, sweat forming on their brows in the close confines of his car.

She paused for a moment to catch her breath and stared into his eyes. They were darker in the center, with tiny lines of white and pale blue swirling throughout the iris, like electricity in one of those plasma globes in science class.

Sean reached out and gently ran his fingertips down the side of her face.

She closed her eyes in response, then shifted her right leg up and over until she straddled his lap.

He went still.

Michelle searched his face. “What?”

When he didn’t reply, she leaned in and kissed him again.

He returned the kiss, then rested his forehead against hers, their breaths mingling. “Are you sure about this?” His voice wavered.

“Would I be here if I wasn’t?” Her lips brushed his softly as she whispered her reply.

He paused, not moving, like he was working something out in his mind.

Why is he stopping? Did I read him wrong?

“I thought you liked me.” Sadness and disappointment ruled the moment. She began to move away, but his hands gripped her hips and held her in place.

“I do. I just … well, I thought maybe you were a …” He stopped as if afraid to finish the sentence.

She leaned back to gauge his expression. “A virgin?” She made it sound like a dirty word.

He nodded.

“Are
you
?” She raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

He shook his head no.

“Well, then we don’t have a problem now, do we?”

This wasn’t the first time she’d had sex in a car, so why did everything feel different this time?

She should have been happy. Sean was a great guy, and their date had been wonderful. They had so much in common, and she liked him. So much more than she thought she would. He seemed to like her, too, but he had barely spoken to her on their drive back to campus.

He walked her to the dorm and followed the three-second rule when he kissed her at the door. It was probably less than three seconds, in fact — more like a hesitant peck.

She watched him walk away, his head down, shoulders slouched. This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go. This wasn’t how things had gone with other guys in the past. It had always led to more. So why did this feel like the end?

When she walked into the dorm, nearly missing the one o’clock curfew, Janice, the Resident Director, gave her a look.

“That was close.” Janice locked the door behind her.

Michelle didn’t respond. Why did she feel like Janice knew exactly what she had done? And why did she feel like she had done something wrong? She had never felt this way before. There was a strange ache in her heart, like at the roller rink, only much stronger. It hurt. So much so that she thought she might actually cry.
What is happening to me?

She shuffled along to her room, her sneakers scuffing against the carpet with each step.

Her roommates’ laughter carried down the hallway, and a loud “
Shhh!”
came from the room across from theirs.

Maggie looked up when she wandered in. “What’s wrong? Your date didn’t go well?”

Michelle didn’t know how to answer that question.

“What happened?” Emma asked. “You can tell us.”

She wasn’t sure she
could
tell these sweet, innocent girls what she had done with Sean. Because once she told them, they would never look at her the same way again.

“It was fine. I’m just tired.”

A week passed without a call from Sean, and these foreign emotions continued to overwhelm her. She was quiet. Her roommates noticed, Simon noticed, even R.D. Janice noticed.

In the college Sunday School class at Calvary Church, someone brought up sexual immorality as an answer to a question Michelle hadn’t even heard the teacher ask. She usually tuned out the teachers and pastors, because she didn’t understand half of what they were talking about when it came to the Bible. But on this day, she listened. The teacher mentioned repentance of sin, including sexual sins, and God’s forgiveness. The word
saved
was used several times.
Saved by grace? Saved from what? Saved from sin?
The confusion only added to the uneasy feelings she’d been dealing with.

It didn’t help that Sean sat across the room from her in that very class. She was sure the teacher’s words were affecting him, too, because he looked incredibly uncomfortable. She stared at him, hoping he would make eye contact, but as soon as the class ended, he was out the door before she could attempt to catch up to him.

When she returned to the dorm that afternoon, she could no longer contain her emotions. She climbed into bed, hid under the covers, and cried into her pillow.

What is wrong with me? Why won’t Sean talk to me? What did I do wrong?

Never had she felt so confused or hurt by a guy. She let it all out until there were no tears left to cry.

When Maggie and Emma arrived after lunch, she tried to pretend to be asleep, but the pile of tissues on the floor gave her away.

The bed sank a little as Maggie sat down next to her.

Emma laid a hand on her shoulder. “What’s wrong, Michelle?”

She rolled over to look at them, revealing her puffy, red eyes. Tears filled them again.

“Michelle, what is it?” Maggie’s voice was filled with concern.

“I had sex with Sean,” she blurted.

Neither girl spoke, and Michelle could have sworn Emma’s cheeks matched the fuzzy pink pillow on the end of her bed. The room was dead quiet, except for the hum of the fluorescent lights.

Maggie jumped up to make sure the door was firmly closed.

“Um, did he … pressure you into it?” Emma stuttered.

Michelle shook her head.

Emma swallowed nervously. She had clearly never had friends who were sexually active before.

“I’m sorry, Emma. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“You know you could get kicked out of school for this,” Emma mumbled.

Michelle knew full well this sort of thing was unacceptable at a Christian college. Premarital sex was against their beliefs, and every student there had signed an agreement to live in accordance with a Christian lifestyle. Although, Michelle had mostly skimmed through that part of the application.

Maggie sat next to Michelle again. “Are you OK? I mean, were you … safe?” She had trouble getting out the last word.

Michelle nodded. “Yeah, and I’m on the pill.”

Emma was clearly fidgeting now.

“We don’t have to talk about this.” Michelle wiped leftover tears from her cheeks.

“Yes, we do,” Maggie replied.

“I’m sorry, Michelle.” Emma had tears in her eyes. “I don’t know what to say. Maybe I should just let you two talk.”

“It’s OK, Emma. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

Emma walked over and hugged her. She took a few steps toward the door, then turned. “I’m gonna pray for you, Michelle.”

The last person to say that to her was her grandmother, but it came with only condescension and judgment. It was different coming from Emma. It was honest and kind and the sweetest thing she could have said.

“Thanks, Emma.”

Once they were alone, Maggie took a deep breath and let it out. “So, I’m assuming since you’re on the pill this isn’t your first time.”

Michelle shook her head. “But it’s never been like this before.”