The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 (29 page)
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Authors: Athol Kay
BOOK: The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011
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Even now, we are still learning things together. Now Jennifer relishes doing sexy things that once made her nervous. Now she does things that I could never have imagined her doing in the beginning of our marriage,
including some things I could never have even imagined either of us being into
when we married. There was an understanding between us that we were going to push her boundaries together. She was comfortable in her discomfort. Now, apart from her persistent fear of the thing with the jumper cables and the butter, she's positively slutty with me in the manner of my choosing. What's not to love about that?
including some things I could never have even imagined either of us being into
when we married. There was an understanding between us that we were going to push her boundaries together. She was comfortable in her discomfort. Now, apart from her persistent fear of the thing with the jumper cables and the butter, she's positively slutty with me in the manner of my choosing. What's not to love about that?
It's an old joke between us that I've corrupted her and am
"a very bad man.”
I always say that's why she likes me so much. She always nuzzles into me after I say that. Even sheltered good-girls have an inner slut that likes to come out and play.
"a very bad man.”
I always say that's why she likes me so much. She always nuzzles into me after I say that. Even sheltered good-girls have an inner slut that likes to come out and play.
Chapter 15
Ovulation Game
(15.1) Women Aren’t Random
To many men, women are frighteningly random creatures. One day she seems perfectly fine, then suddenly mad, then horny, then sad. It's confusing to find something that worked with her on one day totally backfires on a different day. The problem usually comes from not anticipating the effect of her menstrual cycle. Once you understand her cycle, a great deal of her behavior will start to make sense and you can start to predict and plan for her general mood, months in advance.
I work with a lot of women and if I pay attention, I can start telling where they are in their cycles based on the variation in mood and appearance over time. The ones on birth control are easy because my wife is on it too, so I just think of them as a week ahead, a week behind, or opposite my wife's cycle. I track Jennifer’s cycle in my day planner, so I’m trying to not sound creepy about this, I just can’t help but notice where they all are in their cycles too. It’s probably best if you just consider it a very minor superpower.
Birth control pills stop ovulation, so the effect of their cycle is less dramatic, but there is still a variation in their mood and interest. Ovulation is a subtle effect, one week she starts just rocking a slightly sexed up version of herself - it's a slightly lower cut top, the extra sheen on the lipstick, the earrings they like. Her ovulation means she thinks,
“I spent an extra ten minutes on my appearance today just because I wanted to".
Then the next week she’s a little snippy and easily annoyed. The week after that she’s
"headachy"...
because usually she isn’t going to broadcast she is cramping up because she’s on her menses. The week after that she’s back to "normal" and then the cycle repeats. It's really not rocket science to figure out where a woman is in her cycle if you have frequent contact with her and pay her basic attention.
“I spent an extra ten minutes on my appearance today just because I wanted to".
Then the next week she’s a little snippy and easily annoyed. The week after that she’s
"headachy"...
because usually she isn’t going to broadcast she is cramping up because she’s on her menses. The week after that she’s back to "normal" and then the cycle repeats. It's really not rocket science to figure out where a woman is in her cycle if you have frequent contact with her and pay her basic attention.
I suppose I could use this information for evil, but I only use it to influence my decision matrix;
“Let’s do lunch”
versus
“Giving you some space”
versus
“You okay? I have some Motrin if you need it”
versus
“Let’s really push and get this project done.”
It just makes it smoother and easier to get along. I don't have an Excel spreadsheet of this stuff or anything creepy like that (that would make for an awkward meeting in Human Resources), like I say – I just notice it.
“Let’s do lunch”
versus
“Giving you some space”
versus
“You okay? I have some Motrin if you need it”
versus
“Let’s really push and get this project done.”
It just makes it smoother and easier to get along. I don't have an Excel spreadsheet of this stuff or anything creepy like that (that would make for an awkward meeting in Human Resources), like I say – I just notice it.
I once had a female co-worker drive ten miles out of her way to bring me a bagel because I said I was hungry. Lower cut top, chatty as all get out, full hair takedown and redo in front of me, playful swats on my arm. Okay... I really can't tell a lie on this one....
I really like this sort of treatment.
The very next week I tried to finesse a repeat bagel delivery and was given a curt,
“Find your own damn lunch!”
The first time she was ovulating, the second time she had PMS. See how that works?
Women have a predictable cycle of generalized mood and interest, but most men never bother to learn it and just think women are random. If you play hard Alpha on a woman with PMS it usually backfires, while if you play soft Beta on an ovulating woman that usually backfires. If your wife is ovulating, playfully chasing her, escalating to a tickle fight and trying to pull her pants off might work a treat. Trying the same thing on her when she's starting to PMS... probably not so much. The same thing in the middle of her having her period is going to be...
funky
.
I really like this sort of treatment.
The very next week I tried to finesse a repeat bagel delivery and was given a curt,
“Find your own damn lunch!”
The first time she was ovulating, the second time she had PMS. See how that works?
Women have a predictable cycle of generalized mood and interest, but most men never bother to learn it and just think women are random. If you play hard Alpha on a woman with PMS it usually backfires, while if you play soft Beta on an ovulating woman that usually backfires. If your wife is ovulating, playfully chasing her, escalating to a tickle fight and trying to pull her pants off might work a treat. Trying the same thing on her when she's starting to PMS... probably not so much. The same thing in the middle of her having her period is going to be...
funky
.
So you can see that learning both Alpha and Beta approaches to a woman is a key skill in marriage.
(15.2) Menstrual Cycle 101
Perhaps if your sex ed teacher had explained you could more easily score when she was ovulating, you would have paid more attention in class. In case you drifted off, he’s the breakdown for the typical woman. (Some women have very long menstrual cycles and the day count will be off for them.)
The first day of a woman’s menses marks the first day of their cycle. So “day 1” of her cycle is the first day that she starts bleeding on her period. Menses can last 3-7 days. Most women aren’t feeling all that sexy during their period and honestly, who can blame them? My advice is to use this time productively and get some of the items on the “to do” list completed. Make sure you have items like handjobs and coming all over her breasts on the list. (Notice how much better you feel about yourself when you get things done. It’s energizing!)
After her menses stops, she moves into her essentially most normal phase of the month. She’s not bleeding, she’s not wildly horny, and she’s not PMSing. After this comes the ovulation phase.
Ovulation can happen at any point from day 7 through 16, though it typically hits on day 13, 14 or 15. From the time her menses stops, her sex drive will be active, but around ovulation itself she is going to feel a surge in sexual interest. This is when she is most likely to experience orgasms, want multiple orgasms, be the wettest, cheat on you and generally seek raw dog Alpha Male pounding. This is the time when you grabbing a handful of hair and bossing her in the bedroom is will likely get a positive response.
This is when you try your rough sex experiment on her.
This is when you try your rough sex experiment on her.
The days surrounding ovulation are when she is most likely to suddenly decide she wants to
“go to a club, just to dance”…
this is why so much of the Alpha Male-oriented game works for pickup artists. It doesn’t really work on women in general, but it does work on ovulating women in specific.
“go to a club, just to dance”…
this is why so much of the Alpha Male-oriented game works for pickup artists. It doesn’t really work on women in general, but it does work on ovulating women in specific.
After ovulation, her sexual interest tends to drop. Around day 21 of her cycle the infamous mood swings and drama from PMS can start up. A sudden burst of temper or irritation can flag her as being on this part of her cycle. Her physically uncomfortable and bloated feelings generally continue until menstruation itself starts. Trying to pulling her hair and boss her about in the bedroom will likely prove counterproductive. Leg shaving behavior decreases this week. These are great times to proactively up your Beta Male skill game. These are good nights to offer to cook, do that extra errand and offer backrubs.
It’s a fine line to walk…
do
cater to her because she isn’t feeling the greatest, but don’t cater to temper tantrums - those need to be addressed, or they will get worse and worse over the years. Men aren’t allowed to use hormones as a defense for bad behavior,
“Sorry your honor, the testosterone made me do it.”
Neither should women be allowed to excuse bad behavior for their hormonal surges.
do
cater to her because she isn’t feeling the greatest, but don’t cater to temper tantrums - those need to be addressed, or they will get worse and worse over the years. Men aren’t allowed to use hormones as a defense for bad behavior,
“Sorry your honor, the testosterone made me do it.”
Neither should women be allowed to excuse bad behavior for their hormonal surges.
As an aside, if you’re out in the dating market, PMS is a reason why you shouldn’t wait 3-4 days to call a girl back. If you really click in the club when she’s near her ovulation sexual activation, the longer you wait to call her, the further you move from her ovulation and the closer you get to her PMS. Maybe this is why she didn’t seem very excited to get your call.
Generally speaking, all the sexual attempts for the smart husband during the month should be all-purpose mutual satisfaction, but around ovulation it is very important to make her feel desired. This is when the “why don’t you just rip my clothes off and take me” gene kicks in. You should always assume that an ovulating woman is going to act like a total slut.
(15.3) Track Your Wife’s Menstrual Cycle
Since Jennifer is on birth control pills, her cycle is very stable and I can predict it as far into the future as my current day planner goes. Her day 1 always hits on a Tuesday and knowing that makes it all a piece of cake to map out her cycle. I use colored highlighters and mark her menses, ovulation and PMS for months in advance. Days 1-3 (Tue-Thurs) as her period marked in pink, Days 13-17 (Mon-Fri) her ovulation and being “sunny” marked in yellow and Day 20-22 (Mon-Wed) as PMS emotions and feeling “blue” as… well blue. As it is with this system, I generally know my wife’s cycle better than she does. No one has ever asked me about the highlighter marks in my day planner either, so it’s really pretty private.
This all may sound like overkill, but a couple of times now I’ve saved a weeklong vacation from being ruined by knowing months in advance that she would be on her period the week we planned to go. We just went the next week and had a much better time of it. We haven’t wasted babysitting for Date Nights either. I also used to get quite frustrated when I got all worked up during the day thinking about getting home to her, only to discover the invincible underwear on in bed. I don’t mind the blowjobs, but if I’ve been worked up all day for pussy, I get frustrated.
(15.4) Learning a New Woman’s Cycle
Now for the guys meeting new women…
…
if you can discover when your target is having either her PMS spike or her menstrual flow, she has also by default told you when her ovulation is. You just need to do a little math. Ovulation basically comes two weeks after her menses starts
if you can discover when your target is having either her PMS spike or her menstrual flow, she has also by default told you when her ovulation is. You just need to do a little math. Ovulation basically comes two weeks after her menses starts
Week 1 Menses (Day 1 = Menses Starts)
Week 2 Normal
Week 3 Ovulation (Day 13-15
usually!
)
usually!
)
Week 4 PMS
The days that you particularly push for dates and breaking out of the Friendzone with a woman are when she is ovulating.
Women that are on birth control packs usually start menses on a Tuesday, though they seem to have reduced effects of horniness from the ovulation effect, mostly because the birth control pills stop ovulation from happening. They still have a cycle of mood on birth control pills, it’s just not as dramatic.
Bear in mind though that not every woman is on birth control pills and some women have very erratic cycles, or cycles longer than 28 days. There’s an element of educated guesswork involved.
(15.5) How to Tell if a Woman is Ovulating
Of course everyone wants to know how to look at a woman and just know if she is ovulating. The trick is that it may take some time to do it, but once you have it down, you usually have it down pat with that particular woman forever.
The key point to remember is that ovulation lasts only a few days, usually not more than two and that it is the highest point of sexual interest for a woman. Even quite low sex drive women can perk up and mew for sexual attention during ovulation. It’s when a woman is most likely to cheat on a partner, they are more likely to orgasm and in plain simple terms when they like sex the roughest.
Remembering back to the Body Agenda chapter, unlike most primates a human female has a concealed ovulation. This forced her The Time Before Writing mate to pay constant attention to her, otherwise he could just bang the female two days a month and then go drinking with his buddies the other 26 days. Or maybe just work on his cave paintings which the female thinks will never sell.
The women are usually just as tricked as the men are by her ovulation being concealed. They don’t wake up in the morning thinking
“Oh wow, I’m ovulating, I’m going to need the Come Fuck Me heels and a Brazilian wax”,
they just wake up and think,
“I want to wear the red dress today, I feel great
”. This is why women struggling to have a baby wander around taking their temperature half the month waiting for the sudden increase in body heat signaling it’s time to make the donuts. Most women don’t know either.
“Oh wow, I’m ovulating, I’m going to need the Come Fuck Me heels and a Brazilian wax”,
they just wake up and think,
“I want to wear the red dress today, I feel great
”. This is why women struggling to have a baby wander around taking their temperature half the month waiting for the sudden increase in body heat signaling it’s time to make the donuts. Most women don’t know either.
So what you’re looking for is a number of small subtle changes in her appearance and personality away from her normal baselines appearance and mood towards the sexy. Women just stick to their basic appearance, but up the effort slightly. It’s not a move from “demure angel” to “raging slut.” It’s a move from
“I look like a Sex Rank 7”,
to
“I dressed nice and did my make up to max out my Sex Rank to an 8 today.”
“I look like a Sex Rank 7”,
to
“I dressed nice and did my make up to max out my Sex Rank to an 8 today.”
Usually it’s easier to peg her grumpy week from PMS and her not feeling as great weeks when she’s having her menses. Once you have those down just watch for the day when she just seems perky and smiling. Then you’ll notice a few extra little touches of her making herself look sexier. It’s more time on her hair, it’s the big dangly earrings, the top that is a little lower than usual, she touches you on the arm when talking. Suddenly you’ll just see it. So make a move.
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