The Everything Orgasm Book (21 page)

When your lover seems ready to orgasm, keep a steady, continual stroke on her clitoris. Be careful not to overdo the pressure, especially if you are feeling excited yourself. She may not want more pressure or a faster pace, just consistent stroking. If your lover does not want direct clitoral stimulation, let her tell you want she does want.

After she comes, her clitoris may become very sensitive, and she may want you to stop stimulating it. Your cooperation can help her enjoy the aftermath of her orgasm. Alternatively, she may want continued stimulation to help her have multiple orgasms. Again, let her feedback be your guide.

Once she has entirely completed her orgasm, rest one hand lightly over her entire vulva, and the other over her heart, allowing her to feel your presence still as her body comes back to resting. This is a good time to share any tender feelings you have for her, letting her know how beautiful she is to you, and how much you love her.

U
sing your mouth to stimulate your lover's genitals and other erogenous zones is another very gratifying way to help bring her to climax. The oral path to orgasm is a very intimate experience and can be incredibly stimulating for the giver as well. The sight, taste, smell and feel of your lover's body can be taken in like a smorgasbord of sensual delights. Meanwhile, the warm and wet sensation of your silky mouth on your lover's body is likely to make her sing out an orgasm like no other.

Erotic pleasure, delivered via the mouth, is truly an art. Learning to use your mouth, including your lips, teeth, and tongue, to satisfy your lover will likely earn you many bonus points in your intimate relationships. Oral pleasure can be used either as foreplay or as the main path to orgasm. Because mouths are warm and wet, they provide tremendous sensation and ample lubrication to the stimulation you deliver this way. They seem to be designed perfectly for providing such pleasure. Add some simple technique to this perfect design and you can create an erotic experience for your lover that is out of this world.

Not everyone is comfortable receiving oral pleasure. Concerns about how your genitals look, smell, or taste can get in the way of your enjoyment. You may also be preoccupied with whether your partner feels burdened by the task. The most direct way to deal with these concerns is to communicate your discomfort with your lover. He may be able to assure you that he loves doing this, that it turns him on, and that your genitals look, smell, and taste fine. Alternatively, you can take some deep breaths and remind yourself that your lover probably wouldn't be doing this if he didn't want to. The more you can relax and surrender to the pleasure, the more gratifying it will be, and the more likely you will experience orgasms this way.

The mouth has many ways of delivering pleasure. You can be creative as you explore the many ways you can use your mouth to create enjoyable sensations for your lover. Try using your tongue in different ways. The variety can include full-blown kitty-cat licks with your whole tongue, making circles and figure eights, or flickering rapidly with just the tip. Play around with sucking, using your lips and teeth to create a vacuum. This can draw more blood to your partner's genitals and erogenous zones. Use your teeth by gently nibbling or more aggressively biting various parts of your lover's body. Breathe onto your lover's genitals or other erogenous zones, either by pressing your open mouth against her or by blowing air through your lips. You can mix and match all of these techniques, discovering whatever you and your lover enjoy.

Giving “head” or a “blow job” to a man can be quite fun. The clinical term for oral sex on a man is derived from the Latin word
fellatio
, meaning “to suck.” Whatever you call it, the sensation of a warm and wet mouth wrapped around a man's penis is a unique and erotic experience like no other. The mouth can create so many different sensations that some men prefer oral stimulation of the penis to any other kind. To the giver of fellatio, the penis offers itself as a fascinating toy. When you play with it right, you make its owner squirm with pleasure.

When performing fellatio on your male lover, it is important to find a position that you can both comfortably stay in for a while. When you take care of your own body's comfort, you are better able to provide for your partner. As you go along, you may want to shift positions from time to time to avoid any discomfort for either of you. Try sitting comfortably between his legs or at his side as he lies face up before you. Alternatively, lie down on your side with the side of your head resting on his pelvis. Or consider kneeling or squatting in front of him as he sits or stands. One of the benefits of performing fellatio is that you really don't need a bed for it. You can do it just about anywhere!

When performing fellatio, there are many tips and techniques to keep in mind. Most importantly, have fun and enjoy the eroticism yourself. Imagine how good it would feel to have your lover inside of other parts of you with that erect penis of his. Enjoy how he surrenders to the pleasure and how turned on he is getting. Know that you are responsible. You can also begin anticipating the pleasures he may give you in return.

Use Your Hands

Your hands are valuable assistants during fellatio. You might even start off by stimulating his penis with your hands, adding your mouth later. You may want to use a hand on his penis the whole time. Your hands can help guide his penis where you want it to go, giving you more control than using just your mouth. Hand squeezes can also help give him the feeling of more engulfment, especially when they provide pressure at the base of his penis. Hand strokes can also keep up the stimulation whenever you need to give your jaw a break. They offer a way to add variety to the sensations you provide.

Licking the Whole Shaft and Head

Try licking the whole shaft and head of his penis as if it were a popsicle. Lick the head of his penis like it is the tastiest part. Use your whole tongue and go slow. Savor every lick. This will make his penis feel very loved and appreciated and help build the anticipation for your whole mouth to be on him.

Using Your Whole Mouth

There is nothing quite like the sensation of a wet, soft, and silky mouth sensually gliding up and down over a man's penis. Alternate between engulfing just the head for a while and then as much of the shaft as you can manage. It feels really good if you can engulf his whole penis with your mouth. Use your tongue in fun and creative ways to increase the sensations. You can also use one hand at the base of his penis while your mouth covers the rest to give him the sensation of total engulfment.

Deep Throating

If you are really adventurous, you can try deep throating, which refers to taking his penis all the way into your throat. Some men really like this. Deep throating requires that you relax the muscles in your throat and get past your gag reflex. It will help to relax and open up your throat if you can tilt your head back, so try this lying on your side, or with your head over the edge of the bed. You may want to practice on a dildo for starters.

Giving His Testicles Some Attention

Your male lover might like having his testicles stimulated during oral pleasure to his penis. You can try gently sucking on his testicles, or use a hand to lightly cup or stroke his testicles while your mouth is stimulating the head and shaft of his penis. It's a good idea to check in with him about the pressure on his testicles, since they can be very sensitive.

Stimulate His Other Erogenous Zones with Your Hands

When you have a free hand, use it to stimulate other erogenous zones on his body, such as his anus or perineum, his nipples, and his mouth and lips. Just make sure the additional stimulation is not distracting you or him from what you are doing with your mouth. It should contribute to the experience, not take away from it.

Stimulating the P-Spot

Men can get a lot of pleasure from the stimulation of their prostate gland or P-spot. As with a woman's G-spot, prostate stimulation can add greatly to a man's orgasmic experience when stimulated at just the right time. It usually feels best when he is already very turned on and close to orgasm. In order to access the P-spot, you will need to insert a finger, palm side up, about an inch into his anus. Make sure you use plenty of lube and that he is relaxed and ready. Once inside his anus, press your finger toward his navel. You are aiming to feel a round bulb of spongy tissue. When you find it, stroke the area with a come-hither motion and explore other ways to stimulate this area, checking in with him to see what he prefers.