The Everything Orgasm Book (22 page)

Tease Him
Rather than bringing your lover to orgasm as fast as you can, why not tease him a bit? Bring him right up to the edge and then back off so that you can prolong the experience for him. This can help him build up more of a charge, potentially leading to a more powerful orgasm. You can do this in any of three ways. Try stopping the stimulation altogether, changing the stimulation, or slowing the stimulation down. Then, once his arousal has dipped a little, start up again. Try increasing the pace or finding a new rhythm.

When you are ready to bring your lover to orgasm, keep your rhythm steady and constant. Pick up the pace and increase the pressure a little bit — or a lot, if he asks for that. Keep going until he comes. Decide ahead of time how you want to handle his semen as it ejaculates. If you do not want to get cum in your mouth, you can pull your mouth away and finish him off with your hand. Just make sure you do this in time. If you are using a condom, you won't have to worry about this.

If you let your lover come inside of your mouth, you have the choice of either swallowing his cum or spitting it out. It is certainly not harmful to swallow cum, but not everybody is comfortable doing that, for a variety of reasons. Your lover may really like it if you are willing to swallow his cum. It may help him feel more fully accepted. Many people find that they like the taste of cum and find it very satisfying to swallow. But don't feel bad if that is not your thing. If you need to, find a way to spit it out that won't make a big production of it.

There is nothing quite like the feeling of a warm, wet mouth on the vulva and clitoris. The tongue, with all of its flexibility and maneuvering abilities, has tremendous potential to give a woman erotic pleasure and bring her to orgasm. Some call it “going down,” “eating out,” or “giving head,” but the clinical term for oral stimulation of the vulva or clitoris is
cunnilingus
. The word is derived from the Latin words “vulva” and “lick.” Licking the vulva of your female lover is a classic way to really get her juices flowing.

Start by getting into a position that is comfortable for you, especially if you have the intention of bringing your lover all the way to orgasm. You might be there for a while! Try lying face down on a flat surface with your head in between her legs. She should be lying face up with knees bent and feet planted on either side of you, or wrapped around your back. You may want to raise her hips with a pillow for her comfort or to lift her pelvis up higher for you. You may also place a pillow under your chest to support you. Another alternative position would be to have her sitting on a chair with her pelvis forward and her legs spread open. In this position she presents her vulva to you as you kneel before her. You can also try having her squat or kneel over your face as you lie down.

There are many ways to make cunnilingus really enjoyable for your lover. Above all, make sure she can relax into it. Women may be insecure about the taste or smell of their vulvas. Therefore, it is never a bad idea to let her know how much you love her taste and smell. Reassure her that you are happy to pleasure her. Let her know she can simply receive and enjoy. Then explore and discover the many ways to pleasure her with your mouth, paying attention to what works best for her. The following are some tips and techniques that should either get you off to a good start or take you to some new places.

Use Your Hands

Your hands can be very instrumental when performing cunnilingus on your lover. You can start pleasuring her with your hands before putting your mouth on her. As a way to say hello, try lightly stroking her clitoris and labia. Your hands can also take over when your mouth and tongue get tired. Your fingers can be used for vaginal penetration, if and when she wants it.

Labia Licking

When bringing the tongue in on the action, try using your whole tongue with slow broad strokes along either side of her vulva. Go from the vaginal opening all the way up to the clitoris. Lick like you don't want to lose a single drop of her precious juices. Then, gradually start playing around with different kinds of strokes and pressure. Use different parts of your tongue. Have fun and enjoy the sensuousness of the labial tissues.

Focus on the Clitoris

At some point, you should begin to focus on her clitoris, unless direct stimulation of it is too intense for her. Try using firm solid pressure with your tongue and make slow, circular motions over the clitoral shaft and head. Gradually shift to figure-eight motions with your tongue. Then add variety by going side to side. You can also try sucking on her clitoris and see how she likes that. Continue to mix it up, but stay in a groove for a while with each new pattern your mouth finds. Ever so gradually, increase the pace. Be careful not to over-stimulate her clitoris with excessive speed or pressure.

Include Some Vaginal Penetration with Your Fingers

Many women want vaginal penetration to get really turned on or to orgasm. Check with your lover about this. If she gives you the thumbs up, start with one or two fingers. When she is ready, either lick your fingers with your own saliva, add other lubrication, or rely on her heavily flowing vaginal juices if she has them. Slowly and gently, insert your fingers, palm side up. Once your fingers are inside of her, just rest them there for a while, as you continue to lick and stimulate her vulva and clitoris. Then, gradually move your fingers slowly inward and outward of her vagina.

Stimulating the G-Spot

Often, if you stimulate a woman's G-spot while performing cunnilingus, you will send her to the stars. This works best once she is already very aroused and close to orgasm. It can greatly intensify her orgasm. To reach the G-spot you will need to insert one or two fingers, palm side up, inside of her vagina. Press toward her pubic bone, about one and a half to three inches in. You are feeling for a spongy bulb of tissue. When you find it, use a come-hither motion. Check in with your lover and explore any other motions that feel particularly good to her.

Stimulate Her Other Erogenous Zones with Your Hands

Use your free hand to stimulate her other erogenous zones — the ones you can reach from your perch at her vulva. You may caress the skin of her whole body, stimulate her breasts and nipples, or touch her lips and mouth. If she likes, you can stimulate her anus or perineum with a finger. Just make sure that the added stimulation is not too distracting for you or her. The manual stimulation should add to what you are doing with your mouth on her vulva, not take over the show.

Bringing your female lover all the way to orgasm may require that you have both patience and endurance. Her arousal has to build at its own pace. It will help if the erotic energy between the two of you has been building for a while before starting cunnilingus. When you feel like she is getting closer, keep up the stimulation in a constant and steady manner. Be careful in your excitement not to overdo the pressure on her clitoris. It is fine to increase the pace a little bit, but let it build gradually. When she starts to come, don't back off of the stimulation just yet. See her all the way through the end of her orgasm, or until she asks you to stop.

Once your lover has an orgasm, you may need to ease off of her clitoris, which will most likely be very sensitive at this point. Rather than abandoning her vulva altogether, however, you can cup your hand lightly over the entire area. This is a soft way to stay in contact with her as she makes her descent back down to resting. It allows the two of you to bask in the afterglow of her orgasm.