The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (735 page)

Come, lady, come. Farewell, my friend.

No, you will go bareheaded.

[gives the hat to Perdita]

Come on, lady, come on. Goodbye, my friend.

AUTOLYCUS

Adieu, sir.

Goodbye, sir.

FLORIZEL

O Perdita, what have we twain forgot!

Pray you, a word.

Oh Perdita, what have we two forgotten!

Please, a word.

CAMILLO

[Aside] What I do next, shall be to tell the king

Of this escape and whither they are bound;

Wherein my hope is I shall so prevail

To force him after: in whose company

I shall review Sicilia, for whose sight

I have a woman's longing.

What I shall do next will be to tell the king

about this escape and where they are going;

and so I hope that I can persuade him

to chase after them: going with him

I shall see Sicily again, which I have been longing for

like a woman.

FLORIZEL

Fortune speed us!

Thus we set on, Camillo, to the sea-side.

Good luck to us!

So we're setting off, Camillo, to the sea shore.

CAMILLO

The swifter speed the better.

Exeunt FLORIZEL, PERDITA, and CAMILLO

The quicker you go the better.

AUTOLYCUS

I understand the business, I hear it: to have an

open ear, a quick eye, and a nimble hand, is

necessary for a cut-purse; a good nose is requisite

also, to smell out work for the other senses. I see

this is the time that the unjust man doth thrive.

What an exchange had this been without boot! What

a boot is here with this exchange! Sure the gods do

this year connive at us, and we may do any thing

extempore. The prince himself is about a piece of

iniquity, stealing away from his father with his

clog at his heels: if I thought it were a piece of

honesty to acquaint the king withal, I would not

do't: I hold it the more knavery to conceal it;

and therein am I constant to my profession.

Re-enter Clown and Shepherd

Aside, aside; here is more matter for a hot brain:

every lane's end, every shop, church, session,

hanging, yields a careful man work.

I understand what's going on, I've heard it. To have an open

ear, a quick eye, and a nimble hand, is necessary for

a pickpocket; you also need a good nose, to sniff out

work for the other senses. I can see this is the time

for the criminal type to prosper. What a swap

this would have been without any reward! What a reward

I got with this swap! It's certain the gods have decided this is

my year, I don't even need to plan anything.

The prince himself is up to no good

(sneaking away from his father with his ball and chain):

if I thought it was the honest thing to do

to let the king know about it, I wouldn't do it: I think it

is more wicked to keep it hidden; and so I stick

to the rules of my profession.

I'll just step to one side; here's more business for a quick mind:

every street corner, every shop, church, trial,

hanging, gives the thinking man opportunities.

Clown

See, see; what a man you are now!

There is no other way but to tell the king

she's a changeling and none of your flesh and blood.

You see: what position you're in now!

The only thing is to tell the king

she's a changeling and no relation of yours.

Shepherd

Nay, but hear me.

No, but listen to me.

Clown

Nay, but hear me.

No, you listen to me.

Shepherd

Go to, then.

Go on then.

Clown

She being none of your flesh and blood, your flesh

and blood has not offended the king; and so your

flesh and blood is not to be punished by him. Show

those things you found about her, those secret

things, all but what she has with her: this being

done, let the law go whistle: I warrant you.

If she is not your flesh and blood, your flesh

and blood has not offended the King; and so your

flesh and blood will not be punished by him. Show him

those things you found with her, those secret

things, all except what she's taken with her: when you've

done this, the law can't touch you: I promise you.

Shepherd

I will tell the king all, every word, yea, and his

son's pranks too; who, I may say, is no honest man,

neither to his father nor to me, to go about to make

me the king's brother-in-law.

I'll tell the king everything, every word, yes, and

what his son's been up to as well; who, I might add, is not a good man,

either to his father or to me, going around trying to make

me the king's brother-in-law.

Clown

Indeed, brother-in-law was the farthest off you

could have been to him and then your blood had been

the dearer by I know how much an ounce.

Indeed, you would have been at least his brother-in-law,

and then your blood would have been worth more,

I can tell you the price per ounce.

AUTOLYCUS

[Aside] Very wisely, puppies!

Very clever, puppies!

Shepherd

Well, let us to the king: there is that in this

fardel will make him scratch his beard.

Well, let's go to the king: we've got some

things in this bundle that will make him think.

AUTOLYCUS

[Aside] I know not what impediment this complaint

may be to the flight of my master.

I don't know how what they're doing will block

my master's flight.

Clown

Pray heartily he be at palace.

We must hope he'll be at the palace.

AUTOLYCUS

[Aside] Though I am not naturally honest, I am so

sometimes by chance: let me pocket up my pedlar's excrement.

Takes off his false beard

How now, rustics! whither are you bound?

Although I am not naturally honest, I am occasionally

by accident: let me take off my pedlar's disguise.

Hello there, peasants! Where are you off to?

Shepherd

To the palace, an it like your worship.

To the palace, if your worship pleases.

AUTOLYCUS

Your affairs there, what, with whom, the condition

of that fardel, the place of your dwelling, your

names, your ages, of what having, breeding, and any

thing that is fitting to be known, discover.

Tell me what your business is there, with whom,

what's in that bundle, where you live, your

names, your ages, your parentage, your ancestry, and any

other thing that can be decently told.

Clown

We are but plain fellows, sir.

We are just plain folk, sir.

AUTOLYCUS

A lie; you are rough and hairy. Let me have no

lying: it becomes none but tradesmen, and they

often give us soldiers the lie: but we pay them for

it with stamped coin, not stabbing steel; therefore

they do not give us the lie.

That's a lie; you are rough and hairy. Don't give me

any lies: that's only for tradesmen, and they

often give we soldiers the lie: but we pay them

for it with minted coins, not stabbing swords; and so

they do not ‘give’ us the lie.

Clown

Your worship had like to have given us one, if you

had not taken yourself with the manner.

Your worship would have given us a lie, if you hadn't

just corrected yourself.

Shepherd

Are you a courtier, an't like you, sir?

Please, sir, are you a courtier?

AUTOLYCUS

Whether it like me or no, I am a courtier. Seest

thou not the air of the court in these enfoldings?

hath not my gait in it the measure of the court?

receives not thy nose court-odor from me? reflect I

not on thy baseness court-contempt? Thinkest thou,

for that I insinuate, or toaze from thee thy

business, I am therefore no courtier? I am courtier

cap-a-pe; and one that will either push on or pluck

back thy business there: whereupon I command thee to

open thy affair.

Whether it pleases me or not, I am a courtier. Can't you see

the courtly cut of my clothes?

Don't I walk like a courtier?

Don't I smell like a courtier? Don't I

look on your vulgarity with the contempt of court? Do you think

that just because I'm asking you about your

business that makes me no courtier? I am a courtier head to foot;

and I will either help or hinder your business at court:

so I'm telling you to tell me what it is.

Shepherd

My business, sir, is to the king.

My business, sir, is with the king.

AUTOLYCUS

What advocate hast thou to him?

Who do you have to speak for you?

Shepherd

I know not, an't like you.

I don't know, if you please.

Clown

Advocate's the court-word for a pheasant: say you

have none.

Advocate is the court word for a pheasant: say you

haven't any.

Shepherd

None, sir; I have no pheasant, cock nor hen.

None, sir; I have no pheasant, neither cock nor hen.

AUTOLYCUS

How blessed are we that are not simple men!

Yet nature might have made me as these are,

Therefore I will not disdain.

How blessed we are who are not simple!

But nature could have made me like these,

so I won't look down on them.

Clown

This cannot be but a great courtier.

This can only be a great courtier.

Shepherd

His garments are rich, but he wears

them not handsomely.

He has expensive clothes, but he wears

them badly.

Clown

He seems to be the more noble in being fantastical:

a great man, I'll warrant; I know by the picking

on's teeth.

He seems to be more noble in his peculiarities: