The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (640 page)

their hands; let thy blood and spirit embrace them;

its hands; let your blood and spirit embrace them;



and, to inure thyself to what thou art like to be,

and, to make yourself ready for what you are likely to be,

cast thy humble slough and appear fresh. Be

shed your humble skin and appear fresh. Be

opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants; let

a jerk with a family member, rude with servants; let

thy tongue tang arguments of state; put thyself into

you make lots of arguments and get into fights

the trick of singularity: she thus advises thee

this is her advice, the one

that sighs for thee. Remember who commended thy

that is in love with you. Remember who praised your

yellow stockings, and wished to see thee ever

yellow stockings, and always wanted to see them

cross-gartered: I say, remember. Go to, thou art

criss-crossed: I say, remember. Go no, you are

made, if thou desirest to be so; if not, let me see

made, if you want to be; if not, let me see

thee a steward still, the fellow of servants, and

you still a steward, one of the servants, and

not worthy to touch Fortune's fingers. Farewell.

not worth of good fortune. Fareell.

She that would alter services with thee,

She that would change her relationship with you,

THE FORTUNATE-UNHAPPY.'

The Lucky-Sad.'

Daylight and champaign discovers not more: this is

There does not seem to be any more to this letter.

open. I will be proud, I will read politic authors,

I will be haughty, I will read political authors,

I will baffle Sir Toby, I will wash off gross

I will confuse Sir Toby, I will get rid of casual

acquaintance, I will be point-devise the very man.

friendships, I will be in every way the man she wants.

I do not now fool myself, to let imagination jade

I am not fooling myself, to let imagination change

me; for every reason excites to this, that my lady

me; all the evidence points to this, that my lady

loves me. She did commend my yellow stockings of

loves me. She did praise my recent yellow stockings,

late, she did praise my leg being cross-gartered;

she did praise me wearing criss-cross garters;

and in this she manifests herself to my love, and

and in this she shows her love for me, and

with a kind of injunction drives me to these habits

with a kind of command pushes me to these habits

of her liking. I thank my stars I am happy. I will

that she likes. I thank my lucky stars I am happy. I will

be strange, stout, in yellow stockings, and

act strange, strong, in yellow stockings, and

cross-gartered, even with the swiftness of putting

cross-gartered, as soon as I can put them on.

on. Jove and my stars be praised! Here is yet a

Jove and my lucky stars be thanked! Here there is still a

postscript.

P.S.

Reads

'Thou canst not choose but know who I am. If thou

You cannot choose to not to know who I am. If you

entertainest my love, let it appear in thy smiling;

return my love, let it appear in your smiling;

thy smiles become thee well; therefore in my

you look good when you smile; therefore in my

presence still smile, dear my sweet, I prithee.'

presence smile always, my sweetheart, please.'

Jove, I thank thee: I will smile; I will do

Thank Jove: I will smile; I will do

everything that thou wilt have me.

everything that you want from me.

Exit

FABIAN

I will not give my part of this sport for a pension

I would not give up my portion of this fun for even a pension

of thousands to be paid from the Sophy.

of thousands to be paid from the state bank.

SIR TOBY BELCH

I could marry this wench for this device.

I could marry this woman for this idea.

SIR ANDREW

So could I too.

I could too.

SIR TOBY BELCH

And ask no other dowry with her but such another jest.

And ask no other dowry from her but another joke like this.

SIR ANDREW

Nor I neither.

Me neither.

FABIAN

Here comes my noble gull-catcher.

Here comes my noble prankster.

Re-enter MARIA

SIR TOBY BELCH

Wilt thou set thy foot o' my neck?

Will you put your foot on my neck?

SIR ANDREW

Or o' mine either?

Or on mine either?

SIR TOBY BELCH

Shall I play my freedom at traytrip, and become thy


bond-slave?

Shall I get rid of my freedom, and become your slave?

SIR ANDREW

I' faith, or I either?

By my faith, me too?

SIR TOBY BELCH

Why, thou hast put him in such a dream, that when

Why, you have put in him such a dream, that when

the image of it leaves him he must run mad.

he loses it he must go crazy.

MARIA

Nay, but say true; does it work upon him?

No, but tell me; is it working?

SIR TOBY BELCH

Like aqua-vitae with a midwife.

Yes, amazingly well.

MARIA

If you will then see the fruits of the sport, mark

If you will then see the results of the fun, watch

his first approach before my lady: he will come to

his first approach to my lady: he will come to her

her in yellow stockings, and 'tis a colour she

in yellow stockings, and it is a color she

abhors, and cross-gartered, a fashion she detests;

hates, and cross-gartered, a style she hates;

and he will smile upon her, which will now be so

and he will smile at her, which will now be so

unsuitable to her disposition, being addicted to a

unsuitable to her preferences, as she is so fond

melancholy as she is, that it cannot but turn him

of gloominess, that it can't do anything but turn him

into a notable contempt. If you will see it, follow me.

into something she hates. If you want to see it, follow me.

SIR TOBY BELCH

To the gates of Tartar, thou most excellent devil of wit!

I would follow you anywhere!

SIR ANDREW

I'll make one too.

Me too.

Exeunt

Enter VIOLA, and Clown with a tabour

VIOLA

Save thee, friend, and thy music: dost thou live by

Save you, friend, and your music: do you live by

thy tabour?

your tabour [a type of musical instrument]?

Clown

No, sir, I live by the church.

No, sir, I live by the church.

VIOLA

Art thou a churchman?

Are you a church man?

Clown

No such matter, sir: I do live by the church; for

No, no, sir: I do live by the church; for

I do live at my house, and my house doth stand by

I live at my house, and my house stands by

the church.

the church [he means the actual building].

VIOLA

So thou mayst say, the king lies by a beggar, if a

By that logic you may say that a king lies by a beggar, if a

beggar dwell near him; or, the church stands by thy

beggar lives near him; or that the church stands by your

tabour, if thy tabour stand by the church.

tabour, if your tabour stands by the church.

Clown

You have said, sir. To see this age! A sentence is

Good point. These times we live in! A sentence is

but a cheveril glove to a good wit: how quickly the

just a glove over a clever mind: how quickly the

wrong side may be turned outward!

misunderstood meaning may be taken!

VIOLA

Nay, that's certain; they that dally nicely with

No, that's certain; those that use words very precisely

words may quickly make them wanton.

will quickly make them wild.

Clown

I would, therefore, my sister had had no name, sir.

I would prefer, therefore, that my sister had no name, sir.

VIOLA

Why, man?

Why?

Clown

Why, sir, her name's a word; and to dally with that

Why, sir, her name is a word, and to mess around with that

word might make my sister wanton. But indeed words

word might make my sister a hussy. But indeed words

are very rascals since bonds disgraced them.

are very rascals since they were disgraced.

VIOLA

Thy reason, man?

Your reason, man?

Clown

Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words; and

Truthfully sir, I can't give you any without words; and

words are grown so false, I am loath to prove

since words have become so false, I would hate to prove

reason with them.

reason with them.

VIOLA

I warrant thou art a merry fellow and carest for nothing.