The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (641 page)

I believe you are a cheerful fellow and have no cares.

Clown

Not so, sir, I do care for something; but in my

No, sir, I do care for something; but in my

conscience, sir, I do not care for you: if that be

conscience, sir, I do not have feelings for you one way or another: if that means

to care for nothing, sir, I would it would make you invisible.

to care for nothing, sir, I wish it would make you invisible.

VIOLA

Art not thou the Lady Olivia's fool?

Aren't you the Lady Olivia's fool?

Clown

No, indeed, sir; the Lady Olivia has no folly: she

No, indeed, sir, the Lady Olivia has no foolishness: she

will keep no fool, sir, till she be married; and

will keep no fool, sir, until she is married; and

fools are as like husbands as pilchards are to

fools are like husbands the way pilchards [a kind of small fish] are like

herrings; the husband's the bigger: I am indeed not

herrings; husbands are bigger ones: I am indeed not

her fool, but her corrupter of words.

her fool, but her man in charge of wordplay.

VIOLA

I saw thee late at the Count Orsino's.

I saw you at the Count Orsino's.

Clown

Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun,

Foolery, sir, walks around the sky like the sun does,

it shines every where. I would be sorry, sir, but

it shines everywhere. I would be sorry, sir, except

the fool should be as oft with your master as with

The fool should be as often with your master as with

my mistress: I think I saw your wisdom there.

my mistress: I think I saw there how wise you are.

VIOLA

Nay, an thou pass upon me, I'll no more with thee.

No, leave me alone, I won't deal with you any loner.

Hold, there's expenses for thee.

Hold, here's some money.

Clown

Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send thee a beard!

Now may Jove, in his next distribution of hair, send you a beard!

VIOLA

By my troth, I'll tell thee, I am almost sick for

Truthfully, I'll tell you, I am almost sick for

one;

Aside

though I would not have it grow on my chin. Is thy

though it would not grow on my chin. Is your

lady within?

lady inside?

CLOWN

My lady is within, sir. I will construe to them whence you

My lady is inside, sir. I will tell them from where you

come; who you are and what you would are out of my

come; who you are and what you want are out of my

welkin, I might say 'element,' but the word is over-worn.

sky, I might say 'element', but the word is overused.

Exit

VIOLA

This fellow is wise enough to play the fool;

This fellow is wise enough to act like a fool;

And to do that well craves a kind of wit:

And to do that well requires a kind of intelligence:

He must observe their mood on whom he jests,

He must observe the moods of the people he jokes towards,

The quality of persons, and the time,

The nature of people, and the time,

And, like the haggard, cheque at every feather

And, like a hatmaker, check carefully every feather

That comes before his eye. This is a practise

That comes in front of his eye. This is a practice

As full of labour as a wise man's art

As full of labor as a wise man's skill

For folly that he wisely shows is fit;

For the follow that he wisely shows fits;

But wise men, folly-fall'n, quite taint their wit.

But wise men, when they act as fools, ruin their wit.

Enter SIR TOBY BELCH, and SIR ANDREW

SIR TOBY BELCH

Save you, gentleman.

Good day, gentleman.

VIOLA

And you, sir.

And you too, sir.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Will you encounter the house? my niece is desirous

Will you come into the house? My niece wants

you should enter, if your trade be to her.

you to enter, if your job is to see her.

VIOLA

I am bound to your niece, sir; I mean, she is the

I am required to visit your niece, sir; I mean that is the

list of my voyage.

purpose of my trip.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Taste your legs, sir; put them to motion.

Try your legs, sir; get them moving.

VIOLA

My legs do better understand me, sir, than I

My legs do understand me better, sir, than I

understand what you mean by bidding me taste my legs.

understand what you mean by telling me to taste my legs.

SIR TOBY BELCH

I mean, to go, sir, to enter.

I mean, go on, sir, enter.

VIOLA

I will answer you with gait and entrance. But we

I will answer you with walking and entering. But we


are prevented.

are interrupted.

Enter OLIVIA and MARIA

Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens rain

Amazing and talented lady, may the heavens rain

odours on you!

fragrances on you!

SIR ANDREW

That youth's a rare courtier: 'Rain odours;' well.

That youth's an unusual nobleman: 'Rain fragrances;' well.

OLIVIA

Let the garden door be shut, and leave me to my hearing.

Shut the garden door, and leave us alone.

Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH, SIR ANDREW, and MARIA

Give me your hand, sir.

Give me your hand, sir.

VIOLA

My duty, madam, and most humble service.

I give you my service humbly, madam.

OLIVIA

What is your name?

What's your name?

VIOLA

Cesario is your servant's name, fair princess.

Cesario is your servant's name, beautiful princess.

OLIVIA

My servant, sir! 'Twas never merry world

My servant, sir! There was never such a silly world

Since lowly feigning was call'd compliment:

Since such pretending was called a compliment:

You're servant to the Count Orsino, youth.

You're a servant to Count Orsino, young man.

VIOLA

And he is yours, and his must needs be yours:

And he is yours, and his must also be yours;

Your servant's servant is your servant, madam.

The servant of your servant is your servant, madam.

OLIVIA

For him, I think not on him: for his thoughts,

For him, I do not think of him: as for his thoughts,

Would they were blanks, rather than fill'd with me!

If only they were blank, rather than filled with me!

VIOLA

Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts

Madam, I come to sharpen your gentle thoughts

On his behalf.

For his sake.

OLIVIA

O, by your leave, I pray you,

Oh please, I beg you,

I bade you never speak again of him:

I told you to never speak of him again:

But, would you undertake another suit,

But if instead you were to do another kind of courting,

I had rather hear you to solicit that

I would rather hear you do that

Than music from the spheres.

Than listen to heavenly music.

VIOLA

Dear lady,--

My dear lady,--

OLIVIA

Give me leave, beseech you. I did send,

Give me permission, please. I did send,

After the last enchantment you did here,

After the last time you were here,

A ring in chase of you: so did I abuse

A ring to chase after you: and that's how I abused

Myself, my servant and, I fear me, you:

Myself, my servant, and, I'm afraid, you:

Under your hard construction must I sit,

Under your heart heart I must sit,

To force that on you, in a shameful cunning,

To force that on you, in a shameful trick,

Which you knew none of yours: what might you think?

Which you knew was not yours: what did you think?

Have you not set mine honour at the stake

Have you not set my honor at the stake

And baited it with all the unmuzzled thoughts

And taunted it with all the uncontrolled thoughts

That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your receiving

That a dictator of a heart can think? To one of your receiving

Enough is shown: a cypress, not a bosom,

Enough is shown: a tree, not a chest,

Hideth my heart. So, let me hear you speak.

Hides my heart. So, let me hear you speak.

VIOLA

I pity you.

I feel sorry for you.

OLIVIA

That's a degree to love.

That's similar to love.

VIOLA

No, not a grize; for 'tis a vulgar proof,

No, not much; it's not a good proof,

That very oft we pity enemies.

For we very often pity enemies.

OLIVIA

Why, then, methinks 'tis time to smile again.

Why, then, I think it is time to smile again.

O, world, how apt the poor are to be proud!

Oh, world, how appropriate the poor are to be proud!

If one should be a prey, how much the better

If you have to be a victim, how much better

To fall before the lion than the wolf!

To fall in front of the lion than the wolf!

Clock strikes

The clock upbraids me with the waste of time.

The clock criticizes me with the waste of time.

Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you:

Do not be afraid, good young man, I will not have you:

And yet, when wit and youth is come to harvest,

And yet, when wit and youth has come to full bloom,

Your were is alike to reap a proper man:

You seem likely to turn out to be a proper man:

There lies your way, due west.

Your way is that way, straight west.

VIOLA

Then westward-ho! Grace and good disposition

Then I shall go west! Grace and good mood

Attend your ladyship!

Be with your ladyship!

You'll nothing, madam, to my lord by me?

You have nothing, madam, for me to take to my lord?

OLIVIA

Stay:

Wait:

I prithee, tell me what thou thinkest of me.

Please, tell me what you think of me.

VIOLA

That you do think you are not what you are.