The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (645 page)

friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy,

friend, as you used him, and your sworn enemy,

ANDREW AGUECHEEK.


If this letter move him not, his legs cannot:

If this letter does not move him, his legs cannot:

I'll give't him.

I'll give it to him.

MARIA

You may have very fit occasion for't: he is now in

You may have a good opportunity for it: he is now in

some commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart.

some business with my lady, and will shortly leave.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Go, Sir Andrew: scout me for him at the corner the



orchard like a bum-baily: so soon as ever thou seest



him, draw; and, as thou drawest swear horrible; for



it comes to pass oft that a terrible oath, with a



swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood



more approbation than ever proof itself would have



earned him. Away!

Go, Sir Andrew, and as soon as you see him, draw your sword,

swearing terrible things.

Go fight!

SIR ANDREW

Nay, let me alone for swearing.

No, let me alone for swearing.

Exit

SIR TOBY BELCH

Now will not I deliver his letter: for the behavior

Now I will not deliver the letter: for the behavior

of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good



capacity and breeding; his employment between his

skill and nobility; his employment between his

lord and my niece confirms no less: therefore this

lord and my niece confirms it: therefore this

letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed no

letter, being so incredibly stupid, will cause no

terror in the youth: he will find it comes from a

terror in the young man: he will find it comes from a

clodpole. But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by

clod. But sir, I will deliver his challenge by

word of mouth; set upon Aguecheek a notable report

word of mouth; describe the knight Aguecheek with a notable report



of valour; and drive the gentleman, as I know his

of courage; and drive the gentleman, as I know his

youth will aptly receive it, into a most hideous

youth with appropriately take it, into a most terrifying

opinion of his rage, skill, fury and impetuosity.

opinion of his rage, skill, anger, and impatience.

This will so fright them both that they will kill

This will so frighten them both that they will kill

one another by the look, like cockatrices.
[Cockatrices were half-rooster, half-snake mythological beings whose sight could turn things into stone.]

Re-enter OLIVIA, with VIOLA

FABIAN

Here he comes with your niece: give them way till

Here he comes with you niece: give them room until

he take leave, and presently after him.

he leaves, and then in a moment go after him.

SIR TOBY BELCH

I will meditate the while upon some horrid message

I will ponder for a while some horrible message



for a challenge.

for a challenge to a duel.

Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH, FABIAN, and MARIA

OLIVIA

I have said too much unto a heart of stone

I have said too much to a heart of stone



And laid mine honour too unchary out:

And laid my honor not carefully enough out:

There's something in me that reproves my fault;

There's something in my that criticizes my fault;

But such a headstrong potent fault it is,

But it is such a strong fault,

That it but mocks reproof.

That it only mocks being corrected.

VIOLA

With the same 'havior that your passion bears

With that same behavior your passion is going on

Goes on my master's grief.

My master's grief is treating him.

OLIVIA

Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture;

Here, take this locket for me, it is my picture;

Refuse it not; it hath no tongue to vex you;

Don't refuse it; it has to voice to trouble you;

And I beseech you come again to-morrow.

And I beg that you come again tomorrow.

What shall you ask of me that I'll deny,

What will you ask of me that I'll refuse,

That honour saved may upon asking give?

That saving my honor may then give?

VIOLA

Nothing but this; your true love for my master.

Nothing but this; your true love for Duke Orsino.

OLIVIA

How with mine honour may I give him that

How with my honor may I give him something

Which I have given to you?

Which I have already given you?

VIOLA

I will acquit you.

I will give you permission.

OLIVIA

Well, come again to-morrow: fare thee well:

Well, come again tomorrow; fare you well:

A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell.

A demon like you could take my soul to hell.

Exit

Re-enter SIR TOBY BELCH and FABIAN

SIR TOBY BELCH

Gentleman, God save thee.

Gentleman, God save you.

VIOLA

And you, sir.

And to you, sir.

SIR TOBY BELCH

That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: of what



nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know



not; but thy intercepter, full of despite, bloody as



the hunter, attends thee at the orchard-end:



dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for



thy assailant is quick, skilful and deadly.

Watch out, because a terrifying fighter will assault you.

VIOLA

You mistake, sir; I am sure no man hath any quarrel



to me: my remembrance is very free and clear from



any image of offence done to any man.

You are making a mistake; I am sure no man has any issue with me.

SIR TOBY BELCH

You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore,



if you hold your life at any price, betake you to



your guard; for your opposite hath in him what



youth, strength, skill and wrath can furnish man withal.

Oh no, you are wrong, and if you value your life you should

be on your guard, for you opponent has in him what

youth, strength, skill, and anger can give a man.

VIOLA

I pray you, sir, what is he?

Please, sir, what is he?

SIR TOBY BELCH

He is knight, dubbed with unhatched rapier and on

He is a knight, dubbed with a fine sword and by

carpet consideration; but he is a devil in private

royalty; but he is a devil in private

brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and

brawls; he has killed three men; and

his incensement at this moment is so implacable,

his anger at this time is so great,

that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death

that he can have no satisfaction except through



and sepulchre. Hob, nob, is his word; give't or take't.

one of you dying.

VIOLA

I will return again into the house and desire some

I will go back into the house and ask some

conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard

advice from the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard

of some kind of men that put quarrels purposely on

of some men who deliberately pick fights with

others, to taste their valour: belike this is a man

others, to see their courage: probably this is a man

of that quirk.

of that type.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a

Sir, no; his anger takes itself out from a

very competent injury: therefore, get you on and

very real offense: therefore, go on and

give him his desire. Back you shall not to the

give him what he wants. You should not go back into

house, unless you undertake that with me which with

the house, unless you fight with me instead

as much safety you might answer him: therefore, on,

therefore, go on to meet him,

or strip your sword stark naked; for meddle you

or unsheath your sword; for fight you must,

must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron about you.

or swear to wear a weapon at all times.

VIOLA

This is as uncivil as strange. I beseech you, do me

This is as barbaric as strange. I beg you, do me

this courteous office, as to know of the knight what

this polite favor, as to find out from the night what

my offence to him is: it is something of my

my offense to him is: it is something of my

negligence, nothing of my purpose.

mistake, nothing I have done on purpose.

SIR TOBY BELCH

I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this

I will do that. Sir Fabian, stay by this

gentleman till my return.

gentleman until I return.

Exit

VIOLA

Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter?

Please, sir, do you know of this matter?

FABIAN

I know the knight is incensed against you, even to a

I know the knight is angry against you, even to a

mortal arbitrement; but nothing of the circumstance more.

duel to the death; but nothing more.

VIOLA

I beseech you, what manner of man is he?

Please, what kind of man is he?

FABIAN

Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by



his form, as you are like to find him in the proof



of his valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful,



bloody and fatal opposite that you could possibly



have found in any part of Illyria. Will you walk



towards him? I will make your peace with him if I



can.

One of the best fighters and fearsome men in Illyria.

VIOLA

I shall be much bound to you for't: I am one that

I would be very distressed about it: I am one that

had rather go with sir priest than sir knight: I

would rather go with sir priest than sir knight: I

care not who knows so much of my mettle.

do not care who knows that about my courage.

Exeunt

Re-enter SIR TOBY BELCH, with SIR ANDREW