The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (479 page)

small like a woman.

Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks

high like a woman.

SIR HUGH EVANS

It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as

you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys,

and gold and silver, is her grandsire upon his

death's-bed--Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!

--give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years

old: it were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles

and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master

Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.

That's exactly the person I'm talking about, as good

as you could wish; and her grandfather (may he be

saved by God!) on his deathbed left her

seven hundred pounds in gold and silver,

which she will get when she is seventeen years

old: it would be a good idea to lay off our quibbles

and quarrels, and set up a marriage between Master

Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.

SLENDER

Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?

Did her grandfather leave her seven hundred pounds?

SIR HUGH EVANS

Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.

 Yes, and her father will make her richer still.

SLENDER

I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.

I know the young gentlewoman; she has good qualities.

SIR HUGH EVANS

Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is goot gifts.

Seven hundred pounds with more to come are good qualities.

SHALLOW

Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?

Well, let us go and see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?

SIR HUGH EVANS

Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do

despise one that is false, or as I despise one that

is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I

beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will

peat the door for Master Page.

Knocks

What, hoa! Got pless your house here!

Should I lie to you? I hate liars the same as I

hate people who  are false, or as I hate people that

are untruthful. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I

beg you, be guided by those who wish you well. I will

knock for Master Page.

Hello there! God bless your house!

PAGE

[Within] Who's there?

Enter PAGE

Who's there?

SIR HUGH EVANS

Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice

Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that

peradventures shall tell you another tale, if

matters grow to your likings.

God's blessing, and your friend, and Justice

Shallow; and here is young Master Slender, who

could maybe tell you a proverb, if

things proceed to your liking.

PAGE

I am glad to see your worships well.

I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow.

I'm glad to see your worships are well.

Thank you for my venison, Master Shallow.

SHALLOW

Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good do it

your good heart! I wished your venison better; it

was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page?--and I

thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart.

Master Page, I'm glad to see you: I hope it does

your good heart good! I wish your venison had been better; it

was badly killed. How is the good Mistress Page?–And I

always thank you with my heart, la! With my heart.

PAGE

Sir, I thank you.

Sir, I thank you.

SHALLOW

Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.

Sir, I thank you; by golly I do.

PAGE

I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.

I'm glad to see you, good Master Slender.

SLENDER

How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he

was outrun on Cotsall.

How's your pale brown greyhound, sir? I heard rumours he

was beaten at the Cotswold races.

PAGE

It could not be judged, sir.

It was too close to call, sir.

SLENDER

You'll not confess, you'll not confess.

You won't admit it, you won't admit it.

SHALLOW

That he will not. 'Tis your fault, 'tis your fault;

'tis a good dog.

He will not. It's your fault, it's your fault;

it's a good dog.

PAGE

A cur, sir.

A mutt, sir.

SHALLOW

Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog: can there be

more said? he is good and fair. Is Sir John

Falstaff here?

Sir, he's a good dog, and a good-looking dog: what more

can be said? He is good and good-looking. Is Sir John Falstaff here?

PAGE

Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good

office between you.

Sir, he is inside; I should like to do you both

a favour.

SIR HUGH EVANS

It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.

Spoken like a Christian.

SHALLOW

He hath wronged me, Master Page.

He has done me wrong, Master Page.

PAGE

Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.

Sir, he has kind of admitted it.

SHALLOW

If it be confessed, it is not redress'd: is not that

so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he

hath, at a word, he hath, believe me: Robert

Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged.

He might have admitted it, but he has not made amends: isn't that the case

Master Page? He has wronged me; he definitely

has, definitely, he has, believe me: Robert

Shallow, esquire, says he has been wronged.

PAGE

Here comes Sir John.

Enter FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL

Here comes Sir John.

FALSTAFF

Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me to the king?

Now, Master Shallow, you're going to complain about me to the King?

SHALLOW

Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and

broke open my lodge.

Sir, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and

broken into my lodge.

FALSTAFF

But not kissed your keeper's daughter?

But I didn't kiss your gamekeeper's daughter?

SHALLOW

Tut, a pin! this shall be answered.

That has nothing to do with it! You shall answer these charges.

FALSTAFF

I will answer it straight; I have done all this.

That is now answered.

I will answer them right now; I've done all these things.

There, I have answered.

SHALLOW

The council shall know this.

The court shall hear of this.

FALSTAFF

'Twere better for you if it were known in counsel:

you'll be laughed at.

It would be best for you if it was heard in private:

they'll laugh at you.

SIR HUGH EVANS

Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts.

A few words, Sir John; good words.

FALSTAFF

Good worts! good cabbage. Slender, I broke your

head: what matter have you against me?

Good words! Good cabbage. Slender, I bashed you

on the head: what complaints have you got against me?

SLENDER

Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you;

and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph,

Nym, and Pistol.

Well, sir, I have the complaint about my head;

and also about your cheating rascals, Bardolph,

Nym, and Pistol.

BARDOLPH

You Banbury cheese!

You skinny rascal!

SLENDER

Ay, it is no matter.

Well, it doesn't matter.

PISTOL

How now, Mephostophilus!

What's this, you devil!

SLENDER

Ay, it is no matter.

Well, it doesn't matter.

NYM

Slice, I say! pauca, pauca: slice! that's my humour.

Chop him up, I say! Chop chop chop! That's what I fancy.

SLENDER

Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin?

Where's my servant, Simple? Can you tell me, cousin?

SIR HUGH EVANS

Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is

three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that

is, Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is

myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is,

lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.

Quiet, please. Now let us consider this. There are

three umpires in this matter, as I understand it; those are,

Master Page, namely Master Page; and there is

myself, namely myself; and third person is,

lastly and finally, the landlord of the Garter.

PAGE

We three, to hear it and end it between them.

Three of us, to hear the case and put an end to  the quarrel.

SIR HUGH EVANS

Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-

book; and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with

as great discreetly as we can.

Very good: I will make note of it in my notebook;

afterwards we will consider the case with

as much discretion as we can.

FALSTAFF

Pistol!

Pistol!

PISTOL

He hears with ears.

He listens with his ears.

SIR HUGH EVANS

The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, 'He

hears with ear'? why, it is affectations.

The devil and worse! What does this mean, “he

listens with his ears"? Why, it's an affectation.

FALSTAFF

Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse?

Pistol, did you pinch Master Slender's purse?

SLENDER

Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would I might

never come in mine own great chamber again else, of