The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (478 page)

Beautiful ladies, you drop bread from heaven

to starving people.

PORTIA

It is almost morning,

And yet I am sure you are not satisfied

Of these events at full. Let us go in;

And charge us there upon inter'gatories,

And we will answer all things faithfully.

It is almost morning,

But I sure you are not yet satisfied

With all of these events. Let’s go inside,

And there you can ask us questions

And we will answer all things truthfully.

GRATIANO

Let it be so: the first inter'gatory

That my Nerissa shall be sworn on is,

Whether till the next night she had rather stay,

Or go to bed now, being two hours to day:

But were the day come, I should wish it dark,

That I were couching with the doctor's clerk.

Well, while I live I'll fear no other thing

So sore as keeping safe Nerissa's ring.

Let’s do that. My first question

For Nerissa to be sworn to answer is

Whether she would rather wait until tomorrow night

Or go to bed now, with only two hours left until morning.

If the day were to come, I would wish it was still dark,

And that I were sleeping with the expert’s clerk.

Well, as long as I live I’ll fear nothing else

As much as I will fear keeping Nerissa’s ring safe.

Exeunt

SIR JOHN FALSTAFF FENTON, a young gentleman

SHALLOW, a country justice

SLENDER, cousin to Shallow

FORD, Gentleman dwelling at Windsor

PAGE, Gentleman dwelling at Windsor

WILLIAM PAGE, a boy, son to Page

SIR HUGH EVANS, a Welsh parson

DOCTOR CAIUS, a French physician

HOST of the Garter Inn

BARDOLPH, PISTOL, NYM, Followers of Falstaff

ROBIN, page to Falstaff

SIMPLE, servant to Slender

RUGBY, servant to Doctor Caius

MISTRESS FORD MISTRESS PAGE MISTRESS ANNE PAGE, her daughter, in love with Fenton

MISTRESS QUICKLY, servant to Doctor Caius

SERVANTS to Page, Ford, &c.

Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS

SHALLOW

Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star-

chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John

Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.

Sir Hugh, do not try and persuade me; I will make a high

court case of it: if he were twenty Sir John

Falstaffs, I would not allow him to abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.

SLENDER

In the county of Gloucester, justice of peace and

'Coram.'

In the county of Gloucester, justice of the peace and

member of the bench.

SHALLOW

Ay, cousin Slender, and 'Custalourum.

That's right, cousin Slender, and record keeper.

SLENDER

Ay, and 'Rato-lorum' too; and a gentleman born,

master parson; who writes himself 'Armigero,' in any

bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, 'Armigero.'

Yes, and "decor reaper" as well; and a gentleman by birth,

a distinguished parson; who signs himself “Squire" on any

bill, warrant, release or contract, “Esq."

SHALLOW

Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three

hundred years.

Yes, I do; and I have done for donkey's years.

SLENDER

All his successors gone before him hath done't; and

all his ancestors that come after him may: they may

give the dozen white luces in their coat.

All his predecessors have done it; and

all those who come after him may: they can

have a dozen white pikes on their coat of arms.

SHALLOW

It is an old coat.

It is an old coat.

SIR HUGH EVANS

The dozen white louses do become an old coat well;

it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to

man, and signifies love.

The dozen white lice do suit an old coat;

they look very good, walking; men know them

very well, and it shows you've been in love.

SHALLOW

The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat.

The pike is a freshwater fish; saltfish are old cod.

SLENDER

I may quarter, coz.

I may incorporate another coat of arms in mine, cousin.

SHALLOW

You may, by marrying.

You can, if you marry.

SIR HUGH EVANS

It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.

It would indeed be marring it, to incorporate another.

SHALLOW

Not a whit.

Not in the slightest.

SIR HUGH EVANS

Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat,

there is but three skirts for yourself, in my

simple conjectures: but that is all one. If Sir

John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto

you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my

benevolence to make atonements and compremises

between you.

Yes, by our Lady; if someone has a quarter of your coat,

that only leaves three skirts for yourself, in my

simple arithmetic: but anyway. If Sir

John Falstaff has insulted you at all,

I am a churchman, and will be glad to be

a peacemaker to effect reconciliations and compromises

between you.

SHALLOW

The council shall hear it; it is a riot.

The court shall hear of it; he's started a riot.

SIR HUGH EVANS

It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no

fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall

desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a

riot; take your vizaments in that.

It's not right for the court to hear a riot; there is no

fear of God in a riot: the council, understand, will

want to hear about the fear of God, and not a riot;

take that into consideration.

SHALLOW

Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword

should end it.

Ha! I swear, if I were young again, we would settle it

with swords.

SIR HUGH EVANS

It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it:

and there is also another device in my prain, which

peradventure prings goot discretions with it: there

is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas

Page, which is pretty virginity.

It is better to be settled with swords, and finish it:

I'm also thinking about something else,

which might result in some good things: there

is Anne Page, who is the daughter of Master Thomas

Page, a pretty innocent.

SLENDER

Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks