The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (237 page)

YORK.

What, worse than nought? nay, then a shame take all!

What, worse than nothing? Well, may we all die of shame!

SOMERSET.

And, in the number, thee that wishest shame!

And may you who tries to apportion shame be amongst them!

CARDINAL.

My Lord of York, try what your fortune is.

The uncivil kerns of Ireland are in arms,

And temper clay with blood of Englishmen.

To Ireland will you lead a band of men,

Collected choicely, from each county some,

And try your hap against the Irishmen?

My Lord York, you take your chances.

The rude soldiers of Ireland are rebelling,

and soaking the soil with the blood of Englishmen.

Will you lead a group of men to Ireland,

carefully selected, some from each county,

and try your luck against the Irishmen?

YORK.

I will, my lord, so please his majesty.

I will, my lord, if his Majesty agrees.

SUFFOLK.

Why, our authority is his consent,

And what we do establish he confirms.--

Then, noble York, take thou this task in hand.

Why, he has given us authority to act for him,

and he will agree to what we decide.

So, noble York, you shall take on this job.

YORK.

I am content.--Provide me soldiers, lords,

Whiles I take order for mine own affairs.

I'm happy with that. Get me soldiers, lords,

while I put my own affairs in order.

SUFFOLK.

A charge, Lord York, that I will see perform'd.

But now return we to the false Duke Humphrey.

I will make sure your order is carried out, Lord York.

But now let's get back to the false Duke Humphrey.

CARDINAL.

No more of him; for I will deal with him

That henceforth he shall trouble us no more.

And so break off; the day is almost spent.--

Lord Suffolk, you and I must talk of that event.

Enough about him: I will deal with him

to make sure he can give us no more trouble.

And so let's finish; the day is almost done.

Lord Suffolk, you and I must talk about that business.

YORK.

My Lord of Suffolk, within fourteen days

At Bristol I expect my soldiers;

For there I'll ship them all for Ireland.

My Lord of Suffolk, I will expect my soldiers

at Bristol within a fortnight;

then I'll sail with them for Ireland.

SUFFOLK.

I'll see it truly done, my Lord of York.

I'll make sure it's done, my Lord of York.

[Exeunt all but York.]

YORK.

Now, York, or never, steel thy fearful thoughts,

And change misdoubt to resolution.

Be that thou hop'st to be, or what thou art

Resign to death; it is not worth the enjoying.

Let pale-fac'd fear keep with the mean-born man,

And find no harbour in a royal heart.

Faster than spring-time showers comes thought on thought,

And not a thought but thinks on dignity.

My brain more busy than the labouring spider

Weaves tedious snares to trap mine enemies.

Well, nobles, well, 't is politicly done,

To send me packing with an host of men;

I fear me you but warm the starved snake,

Who, cherish'd in your breasts, will sting your hearts.

'T was men I lack'd, and you will give them me;

I take it kindly, yet be well-assur'd

You put sharp weapons in a madman's hands.

Whiles I in Ireland nourish a mighty band,

I will stir up in England some black storm

Shall blow ten thousand souls to heaven or hell;

And this fell tempest shall not cease to rage

Until the golden circuit on my head,

Like to the glorious sun's transparent beams,

Do calm the fury of this mad-bred flaw.

And for a minister of my intent,

I have seduc'd a headstrong Kentishman,

John Cade of Ashford,

To make commotion, as full well he can,

Under the tide of John Mortimer.

In Ireland have I seen this stubborn Cade

Oppose himself against a troop of kerns,

And fought so long till that his thighs with darts

Were almost like a sharp-quill'd porpentine;

And, in the end being rescu'd, I have seen

Him caper upright like a wild Morisco,

Shaking the bloody darts as he his bells.

Full often, like a shag-hair'd crafty kern,

Hath he conversed with the enemy,

And undiscover'd come to me again

And given me notice of their villainies.

This devil here shall be my substitute;

For that John Mortimer, which now is dead,

In face, in gait, in speech, he doth resemble.

By this I shall perceive the commons' mind,

How they affect the house and claim of York.

Say he be taken, rack'd, and tortured,

I know no pain they can inflict upon him

Will make him say I mov'd him to those arms.

Say that he thrive, as 't is great like he will,

Why, then from Ireland come I with my strength

And reap the harvest which that rascal sow'd;

For Humphrey being dead, as he shall be,

And Henry put apart, the next for me.

It's now or never, York, forget your worries

and change doubt for determination.

Be what you want to be, or let what you are

die; it's not worth staying alive that way.

Let pale fear stay with the lowly man,

and find no place in a royal heart.

Thoughts come falling on me like springtime showers,

and every thought is thinking of my position.

My brain is more busy than a labouring spider

weaving traps to catch my enemies.

Well, nobles, it was a clever idea,

to send me away with an army;

I'm afraid you are just waking up the starving snake,

who, held to your chests, will sting your hearts.

I was lacking in forces, and you will give them to me;

I thank you for it, but you can be assured

that you have put sharp weapons into the hands of a madman.

While I raise a mighty army in Ireland,

I will start a disturbance in England

which will send ten thousand souls to heaven or hell;

and this evil storm will not cease blowing

until the golden crown on my head,

like the transparent beams of the glorious sun,

calms the madness.

To help me work my plans,

I have enrolled a headstrong Kentish man,

John Cade of Ashford,

to start a disturbance, as much as he can,

disguised as John Mortimer.

In Ireland, I have seen this steadfast Cade

face down the whole troop of soldiers,

fighting so long until his thighs were as full of darts

as the quills on porcupine;

and, when he was finally rescued, I saw

him dance around like a wild Morris dancer,

shaking the bloody darts as if they were his bells.

He has often disguised himself as a shaggy haired

Irish soldier and spoken with the enemy,

come back to me undiscovered

and given me warning of their plans.

For he resembles John Mortimer, who is

now dead, in looks, date, and speech.

This way I will see what the common people think

about the family and the claim to the throne of York.

If he is captured and tortured on the rack,

I know that there will be no pain they can give him

which will make him say that I told him to rebel.

If he does well, as he very likely will,

why, then I shall come from Ireland with my forces

and reap the harvest which the rascal has sowed;

with Humphrey being dead, as he shall be,

and Henry set aside, I'm the next in line.

[Exit.]

[Enter certain Murderers, hastily.]

1 MURDERER.

Run to my Lord of Suffolk; let him know

We have dispatch'd the duke, as he commanded.

Run to my Lord of Suffolk; let him know

that we have killed the Duke, as he ordered.

2 MURDERER.

O that it were to do! What have we done?

Didst ever hear a man so penitent?

I wish it was ahead of us! What have we done?

Did you ever hear a man so sorry?

[Enter SUFFOLK.]

1 MURDERER.

Here comes my lord.

Here comes my lord.

SUFFOLK.

Now, sirs, have you dispatch'd this thing?

Now, sirs, have you done the business?

1 MURDERER.

Ay, my good lord, he's dead.

Yes, my good lord, he's dead.

SUFFOLK.

Why, that's well said. Go, get you to my house;

I will reward you for this venturous deed.

The king and all the peers are here at hand.

Have you laid fair the bed? Is all things well,

According as I gave directions?

Excellent. Go, go to my house;

I will reward you for this brave deed.

The King and the all the peers are nearby.

Have you laid out the bed well? Is everything right,

the way I asked for it?

1 MURDERER.

'T is, my good lord.

It is, my good lord.

SUFFOLK.

Away! be gone.

Then off you go!

[Exeunt Murderers.]

[Sound trumpets. Enter the KING, the QUEEN,

CARDINAL BEAUFORT, SOMERSET, with attendants.]

KING.

Go, call our uncle to our presence straight;

Say we intend to try his grace to-day,

If he be guilty, as 't is published.

Go and tell my uncle to come straight to me;

tell him I intend to try him today,

to see if he is guilty as charged.

SUFFOLK.

I'll call him presently, my noble lord.