The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (353 page)

Well, I am destroying that which God

made – your brother who has nothing to do.

OLIVER

Marry, sir, be better employed, and be naught awhile.

Then you should find something to do and go away for a while.

ORLANDO

Shall I keep your hogs and eat husks with them?

What prodigal portion have I spent, that I should

come to such penury?

Would you like me to watch your pigs and eat their food with them?

When did I act like the prodigal son and spend my inheritance, so that I

must be punished like this?

OLIVER

Know you where your are, sir?

Do you know where you are?

ORLANDO

O, sir, very well; here in your orchard.

Yes, I am in your orchard,

OLIVER

Know you before whom, sir?

And do you know who you are talking to?

ORLANDO

Ay, better than him I am before knows me. I know

you are my eldest brother; and, in the gentle

condition of blood, you should so know me. The

courtesy of nations allows you my better, in that

you are the first-born; but the same tradition

takes not away my blood, were there twenty brothers

betwixt us: I have as much of my father in me as

you; albeit, I confess, your coming before me is

nearer to his reverence.

Yes, I know him better than he knows me. I know

you are my oldest brother, and I know you are a gentleman

by birth, but you should know that I am too. General

tradition says that you are my elder and should be respected,

since you are first-born, but that same tradition

does not take away my nobility, even if there were twenty brothers

and I was the youngest. I have just as much of my father’s blood in me

as you do – even if, I admit, your place as being born first

was more honored by him.

OLIVER

What, boy!

How dare you!

strikes ORLANDO

ORLANDO

Come, come, elder brother, you are too young in this.

Now, now – you may be my older brother, but you are not very experienced in fighting.

seizes OLIVER

OLIVER

Wilt thou lay hands on me, villain?

Do you dare touch me, scoundrel?

ORLANDO

I am no villain; I am the youngest son of Sir

Rowland de Boys; he was my father, and he is thrice

a villain that says such a father begot villains.

Wert thou not my brother, I would not take this hand

from thy throat till this other had pulled out thy

tongue for saying so: thou hast railed on thyself.

I am not a scoundrel: I am the youngest son of Sir

Rowland de Boys. He is my father, and whoever says

that he had scoundrels as sons is himself three times the scoundrel.

If you were not my brother, I would keep

choking you with this hand while my other one would rip out

your tongue for suggesting such a thing. You have insulted only yourself.

ADAM

Sweet masters, be patient: for your father's

remembrance, be at accord.

Masters, please stop. For your father’s

sake, be at peace.

OLIVER

Let me go, I say.

Let me go, now.

ORLANDO

I will not, till I please: you shall hear me. My

father charged you in his will to give me good

education: you have trained me like a peasant,

obscuring and hiding from me all gentleman-like

qualities. The spirit of my father grows strong in

me, and I will no longer endure it: therefore allow

me such exercises as may become a gentleman, or

give me the poor allottery my father left me by

testament; with that I will go buy my fortunes.

Not until I want to – first you will listen. My

father requested in his will that you make sure I get a good

education, and yet you have had me educated like a peasant and commoner,

failing to teach me the proper qualities of a gentleman.

I have the same character of my father in

me and so I will no longer stand for this treatment. Either

train me in the proper ways of becoming a gentleman or

give me the small inheritance that my father let me

in his will, and I will leave to pursue my own future.

OLIVER

And what wilt thou do? beg, when that is spent?

Well, sir, get you in: I will not long be troubled

with you; you shall have some part of your will: I

pray you, leave me.

And then what will you do? Will you beg from me when you run out of money?

Well, fine, get – I will not be bothered

by you any longer. You will have your inheritance and then,

please, leave.

ORLANDO

I will no further offend you than becomes me for my good.

I will not bother you any more than I have to so that I get what is due me.

OLIVER

Get you with him, you old dog.

Go away with him, you old dog.

ADAM

Is 'old dog' my reward? Most true, I have lost my

teeth in your service. God be with my old master!

he would not have spoke such a word.

An ‘old dog’ am I? True enough – I am old enough

to have lost my teeth serving you and your family. God be with your father,

my old master! He would never have called me such a name.

Exeunt ORLANDO and ADAM

OLIVER

Is it even so? begin you to grow upon me? I will

physic your rankness, and yet give no thousand

crowns neither. Holla, Dennis!

Is it true? Have you grown big enough to challenge me? Well,

I will cure your rashness against me and will not give you a thousand

crowns either. Hello, Dennis!

Enter DENNIS

DENNIS

Calls your worship?

You called, your worship?

OLIVER

Was not Charles, the duke's wrestler, here to speak with me?

Has the duke’s wrestler, Charles, come to see me yet?

DENNIS

So please you, he is here at the door and importunes

access to you.

He is in fact here at the door now, and asks

to speak with you.

OLIVER

Call him in.

Call him in.

Exit DENNIS

'Twill be a good way; and to-morrow the wrestling is.

This will work – and, tomorrow is the wrestling match.

Enter CHARLES

CHARLES

Good morrow to your worship.

Hello, your worship.

OLIVER

Good Monsieur Charles, what's the new news at the

new court?

Good sir Charles, what is the news at the

new court?

CHARLES

There's no news at the court, sir, but the old news:

that is, the old duke is banished by his younger

brother the new duke; and three or four loving lords

have put themselves into voluntary exile with him,

whose lands and revenues enrich the new duke;

therefore he gives them good leave to wander.

Only the old news, sir:

that the duke has been banished by his younger

brother who has become the new duke, and three or four devoted lords

have joined the old duke in voluntary exile –

but since their land and money have been given up to the new duke,

he has freely allowed them to leave.

OLIVER

Can you tell if Rosalind, the duke's daughter, be

banished with her father?

Was Rosalind, the old duke’s daughter,

banished with her father?

CHARLES

O, no; for the duke's daughter, her cousin, so loves

her, being ever from their cradles bred together,

that she would have followed her exile, or have died

to stay behind her. She is at the court, and no

less beloved of her uncle than his own daughter; and

never two ladies loved as they do.

No, the new duke’s daughter, Rosalind’s cousin, loves

her – they were raised together from their cradles – 

and would have followed her into exile or would have died

without her. Rosalind is at the court, and she

is just as loved by her uncle as his own daughter, Celia.

Two ladies were never so fond of each other as they are.

OLIVER

Where will the old duke live?

Where will the old duke live?

CHARLES

They say he is already in the forest of Arden, and

a many merry men with him; and there they live like

the old Robin Hood of England: they say many young

gentlemen flock to him every day, and fleet the time

carelessly, as they did in the golden world.

Some say he is already in the forest of Arden

with a group of happy men, living like

Robin Hood from England. They say young

gentleman come to him every day and spend the time

without a care in the world, as if it were the Garden of Eden.

OLIVER

What, you wrestle to-morrow before the new duke?

So will you be wrestling tomorrow in front of the new duke?

CHARLES

Marry, do I, sir; and I came to acquaint you with a

matter. I am given, sir, secretly to understand

that your younger brother Orlando hath a disposition

to come in disguised against me to try a fall.

To-morrow, sir, I wrestle for my credit; and he that

escapes me without some broken limb shall acquit him

well. Your brother is but young and tender; and,

for your love, I would be loath to foil him, as I

must, for my own honour, if he come in: therefore,

out of my love to you, I came hither to acquaint you

withal, that either you might stay him from his

intendment or brook such disgrace well as he shall

run into, in that it is a thing of his own search

and altogether against my will.

Yes, sir, I will be – and I have come to talk with you

about a relevant problem. I was secretly informed

that your younger brother, Orlando, is planning

to fight against me in a disguise.

Tomorrow, sir, I am fighting to show off, so anyone

who escapes without a broken bone is lucky.

Your brother is young and weak still, and,

out of my love for you, I would feel bad if I destroyed him,

as I must in order to win the honor I am looking to win. So,

since I admire you, I came to tell you